假如你… – 在钟表厂工作？
lf you… – Worked in a watch factory?
闭嘴 没错
Shut up! Exactly.
诺维尔你还记得你以前对圆环的感觉吗？
Norville, don’t you remember how you used to feel about the Hoop?
你告诉过我你要给美国每个人的屁♥股♥ 都带去一个笑容…
You told me you’d gonna bring a smile to the hips of everyone in America…
不管种族信仰与肤色
regardless of race, creed or color.
最终有了某物把每个人都联♥系♥起来…
Finally, there’d be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together…
即使在空间上他们是分开的
even if it kept them apart spatially.
“你知道… 给孩子们的”
“You know, for kids.”
是你的话… 不是我的 诺维尔
Your words, Norville, not mine.
我曾经爱过诺维尔·巴恩斯
I used to love Norville Barnes.
是的爱上了他…
Yes, love him…
那时他还只是个可爱的孩子 那些层出的创意令他忙于应付
when he was just a swell kid with hot ideas who was in over his head.
现在你的脑袋大得足以应付了
Now your head’s too big to be in over!
嘿 – 我辞职
Hey. – Consider this my resignation.
马上生效
ive immediately!
伙计 伙计
Buddy, buddy.
伙计
Buddy.
伙计 伙计 说话 伙计
Buddy. Buddy, say, buddy.
伙计 说话 伙计
Buddy, say, buddy.
额…额？
Uh… Huh?
伙计 你忙吗？
Buddy. You busy?
额？
Huh?
你好像打了个盹伙计 那么你有时间吗？
Looks like you nodded off there, buddy. Say, you got a minute?
巴兹？
Buzz?
巴兹重要的事吗？
Is this important?
我想是的是我一直在研究的小创意
I think so. It’s this little idea I’ve been working on.
你瞧我可不想永远做个电梯小子
You see, I don’t intend to be an elevator boy forever.
看一下这个可爱的小东西
Take a look at this sweet baby!
明白了吗？难以置信的便利不是吗？
Get it? Incredibly convenient, isn’t it?
你知道给饮料的？
You know, for drinks?
这就是使用方法
This is how it works. It’s got these ridges…
边上这些折皱可以让它摆动
on the side that give it its whammy.
无论如何你都不会这么喝 你会这么喝
See, you don’t have to drink like this anymore. You can drink like this.
我称它为”巴兹吸管” 明白了吗 伙计？
I call it the Buzz-Sucker. You get it, buddy?
人们会因此而疯狂 我们甚至不用动动手或脚
People are dying for this and we won’t have to charge an arm an…
等一下
Wait a minute.
嘘
Shh.
这…
This…
毫无用处
is worthless!
啊可是伙计
Huh? But, buddy…
这是我见过最白♥痴♥的玩意儿
This is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever seen.
耶 但是 伙计
Yeah, but, buddy…
没人会想用这样一个染发产品
Nobody wants a harebrained product like this.
你瞧巴兹… 它缺乏创造性的火花…
You see, Buzz, it lacks the creative spark…
纯粹的天才会制♥造♥像…
the unalloyed genius that made something like, say…
呼拉圈这样的成就
the, uh, Hula-Hoop such a success.
你竟敢闯进来并占用我宝贵的时间
What do you mean barging in and taking up my time?
我还有整个公♥司♥要管理
I’ve got a company to run here!
但是 伙计… – 我可不能让每个游手好闲的员工
But, buddy… – I can’t have every deadbeat…
都拿他们的白♥痴♥创意来烦我
on the payroll pestering me with their idiotic brainwaves.
对不起伙计
I’m sorry, buddy.
必须杀鸡儆猴 – 你是什么意思 伙计？
An example must be made. – What do you mean, buddy?
你被解雇了
You’re fired.
够清楚了吗？
Is that plain enough for you, buster?
哦伙计
Oh, buddy!
别再叫我”伙计”
And don’t call me “buddy.”
哦求求你先生 这份管理电梯的工作是我的一切
Oh, please, sir! This job running the elevator, it’s all I got!
你不喜欢巴兹吸管没关系
Uh, it’s okay if you don’t like it.
就让我♥干♥下去吧 我恳求你
Just let me keep my job, I’m praying to you.
出去 起来 起来
Get out of my office! Get up! Up!
我们不能在赫德萨克企业里爬来爬去
We don’t crawl here at Hudsucker Industries!
对不起先生 对不起
I’m sorry, sir! I’m sorry!
（阿耳戈斯报记者荣获普利策奖）
谢谢 阿洛伊修斯
Thank you, Aloysius.
这…
This is…
很有用
useful.
很抱歉我迟到了席德 河谷区的后9洞实在太难了
Sorry I’m late, Sid. That back nine at Riverdale’s really murder.
这是个艰苦的过程一个真正的大人物
It’s a tough course. A real lollapalooza.
坐下孩子
Sit down, son.
我想会议室是个密谈的好地方
I thought the boardroom would be a swell place to chat undisturbed.
在赫德我们好像有些安全问题
Seems we’ve got some security problems here at the Hud.
不会吧
You don’t say.
我本不想打扰你
Ordinarily, I wouldn’t bother you with it…
可这挺令人为难的
but this is embarrassing.
它和你直接有关
It concerns you directly.
怎么回事？ – 并不很严重
How’s that, Sid? – It’s not serious in itself.
某个你解雇的电梯小子对我宣称…
Some elevator boy that you’d fired came to me…
你剽窃了他那个小玩意的创意
claiming that you’d stolen the idea for, um, the dingus.
你从他那儿剽窃的
You’d stolen it from him.
可能我对他有点粗暴… – 别管了
Maybe I was a little rough on him… – Forget it.
你不必向我解释 他只是个小人物无足轻重
You don’t have to explain to me. He’s a little person. He’s nothing.
想解雇就解雇吧
Fire whoever you want.
不问题在于… 你所雇佣的人
No, the problem is who you hired.
那位女士 结果是个间谍
That dame. A spy, as it turns out.
她肯定收买♥♥了那个电梯笨蛋…
She must have gotten to that elevator schnook…
而她的报纸正进展顺利
and her paper is going to town.
当然当然我们也试过要扼杀新闻 但阿耳戈斯报不愿合作
Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story, but the Argus won’t play ball.
董事会所面临的难题是你雇佣了这个女人…
The problem the board will have is you hired this woman…
把她当心腹…
and you kept her on…
而就是她让你出丑
while she was making a chump out of you.
这是个严重的判断失误
Serious error in judgment.
商场如战场孩子
Business is war, kid.
赶尽杀绝不留余地
Take no prisoners, give no second chances.
新年后董事会再碰头时…
When the board meets after New Year’s…
你的位子…
your position…
好像该让贤了
Looks like you’re finished.
一切结束
Washed up.
河谷区的第十四洞…
Oh, fourteenth hole at Riverdale…
有人用高尔夫短棍… 有人用高尔夫长棍
some use a mashie, some use a niblick.
长棍
Niblick.
你打得太高 太转了
You get more loft, more backspin.
那位女士…
That dame…
她几乎撕开了你的咽喉
she got your throat pretty well slit.
你死了就无法复生
When you’re dead, you stay dead.
不相信的话去问问沃林·赫德萨克
You don’t believe me, ask Waring Hudsucker.
运气很糟糕孩子 你上去的路很短
Tough luck, kid. You had a short climb up.
下来的路很长
It’s a long way down.
从…窃取创意 这个不能出版
Stolen hoop idea from… You can’t print that!
我们就要出版
We are printing it!
今晚它将惊动整个城市
She hits the streets this evening.
这将是个爆♥炸♥新闻
And she’s dynamite!
可这是骗人的
But, Al, it’s the bunk!
我们第一次见面 诺维尔就向我展示了他设计的那个东西
Norville showed me his design the, uh, day I met him.
不可能是巴兹发明的 看看他一个低能儿
Buzz couldn’t have invented it. Look at him, he’s an imbecile.
干嘛这么歇斯底里？正是甘德森设计的
Aren’t you a broken record? Gunderson did design it.
显然 他是个天才
Apparently, he’s a prodigy.
谁说的？ – 你不是唯一的消息来源
Says who? – You’re not the only one with sources.
史密斯有来自赫德董事会 更高级的消息来源非常高级
Smith has a source on the Hud board. Very hush-hush.
我敢打赌是席德尼·J·穆斯伯格
Yeah. I bet his initials are Sidney J. Mussburger.
看样子你失败了你心软了
You lost it, Amy. You gone soft, by the looks of it.
对迪比克的傀儡心软了
Soft on the dummy from Dubuque.
是曼希 – 管他呢
Muncie – Whatever!
这故事炙手可热而你不再能掌握它 这可是本世纪的独家内♥幕♥
This story’s hot and you’re no longer on top of it. It’s the scoop of the century!
其他报纸到明天才会知道
The other papers won’t have this till tomorrow!
《德国日报》《费加罗报》 都将被明早的骚动噎着
They’ll be choking on our dust come morning.
你们两个笨蛋 你们被利用了这都不明白？
You’re fools, both of you! You’re being used, don’t you see, ugh?
休息一下你太辛苦了 是你为我们打开局面
Take a break. You worked hard on this story. You broke it for us.
不过这已经与你无关 史密斯会接手的
But it’s passed you by and Smith’s taking up the slack.
你想要休息… 我就让你休息
Tsk, oh, you want slack, I’ll give you slack!
你是叫我退休 我不干了 我辞职
You’re not putting me out to pasture! I quit! Consider this my resignation!
马上生效