有人说灵感来自99%的努力
They say inspiration is 99 percent perspiration…
而对于我来说至少是两倍…
in my case it’s at least twice that…
不过我必须要告诉您先生… – 等一下
but I’ve got to tell you, this sweet… – Wait a minute!
坐下孩子
Sit down, son.
去吧
Go ahead.
试试看
Try it on.
把脚放上来
Put your feet up.
放上来
Go ahead.
我们来互相认识一下 怎么样？
Let’s get to know one another, shall we?
我们来次…
Let’s chat.
男人之间的交谈
Man-to-man.
你出身卑微是吗？
Now then, you’re from the basement, aren’t you?
而且没受过多少…
And weren’t blessed with much…
教育？
education?
嗯 我是个大学毕业生
Well, I am a college graduate.
但你成绩平庸
But you did not excel in your studies.
嗯 我是曼希… – 哦
Well, I… I made Dean’s List. – Oh.
工商管理大学的优等生
At the Muncie College of Business Administration.
你的朋友们都叫你”笨蛋”对吗？
And your friends, they called you “jerk,” didn’t they?
唔
Mm, unh-uhn.
“傻瓜？” “混♥蛋♥？” – 唔 不是
“Dope?” “Dipstick?” – Mm-mm. No.
“呆子？””蠢货？” 在你背后也没有叫？
“Lamebrain?” “Schmo?” Not even behind your back?
我被公认为是”最接近成功的人”
Well, as a matter they voted me “Most Likely to Succeed.”
你被解雇了
You’re fired.
把你的脚从我的桌子上拿开 滚出去
Get your feet off my desk, get out of my office.
把你的围裙放在衣帽间
Leave your apron in the locker room.
哦 天哪
Oh, my God!
邦斯德的合同 我可为此辛苦了四年
The Bumstead contract. I’ve been working on that deal for four years!
滚出去 我会处理的
Get out of here! I’ll take care of it! Get out.
你可能破坏了我职业生涯中最敏感的文件
You could have destroyed the most sensitive document of my career.
邦斯德先生威胁说要离开
Mr. Bumstead is threatening to leave the building.
我正下楼呢
I’m on my way down.
我们要依照副本重新打印合同的第一页 这样才合法
We need the first page of the contract retyped.
是 穆斯伯格先生
Yes, Mr. Mussburger.
耶？额 耶
Yeah? Uh-huh. Yeah.
出去 滚出去
Out! Out of the office!
跌了三个点？
Down three points, huh?
值得嘉奖纽约怎么样了？
That’s encouraging. How about New York?
不是这边 从门那边
Not that way, through the door!
重新打印邦斯德的合同需要三小时
Sir, it’ll take three hours to retype the Bumstead contract…
你要去哪儿？滚出去 打住
Where are you going? Get out of here! Stop that!
邦斯德先生威胁要走
Mr. Bumstead’s threatening to leave.
不是整份合同 只要第一页
Not the whole contract, just the first page.
我马上来再给他一份杂♥志♥
I’ll be there. Give him another magazine.
他说他要走了 – 我说过我马上到
He says he’ll leave. – I said I’ll be there!
而且你妻子正在试图接近你
And you’re wife’s been trying to reach you.
用你的脚站起来 我们不能在赫德萨克企业里爬来爬去
Up on your feet! We don’t crawl here at Hudsucker Industries!
我的脚着火了 – 没有假设
My leg is on fire! – No assumptions!
现在还早我只想知道收市时我们的位置
It’s early yet. Just let me know where we stand at the closing bell.
哦天哪 邦斯德的合同
Oh, my God, the Bumstead contract!
不要杂♥志♥ 不要咖啡
No magazines! No coffee!
穆斯伯格 我要见穆斯伯格 除非他也从窗口跳下去了？
Mussburger! I wanna see Mussburger! Or did he jump out a window too?
别担心 穆斯伯格先生 我抓住你了 我抓住你的裤子了
Don’t worry, Mr. Mussburger, I got you! I got you by your pants.
裤子？
Pants?
穆斯伯格先生 我要用精细的双针来缝你的裤子
Mr. Mussburger, I’m gonna give your pants a nice double stitch.
这样更结实而且让你更有型
It’ll make them real strong and you’re gonna look real sharp.
不用 单针很好 – 可双针更耐久
No, single stitch is fine. – But the double stitch, she lasts forever.
我要双针到底什么用？
Why on earth would I want a double stitch?
给你垫帐吗？
To pad your account.
单针就好了
Single stitch is fine.
该死
Damn!
什么鬼东西 穆斯伯格先生人这么好…
Oh, what the heck! Mr. Mussburger is such a nice man…
无论如何我也要给他缝双针
I’m gonna give him a double stitch anyway. Heh-heh-heh.
这样缝结实 的确如此
Ah. That’s some strong stitch, you bet!
“企业的爱因斯坦”
“The Einstein of Enterprise.”
“产业的爱迪生”
“The Edison of Industry.”
“价值连城的头脑”
“The Billion-Dollar Cranium!”
“智多星”
“Idea Man!”
可你们没有一个人能告诉我他的故事
And not one of you has given me a story on him!
一群笨蛋
Bunch of lamebrains!
事实画像图表 他们一张报纸也卖♥♥不出去
Facts, figures, charts. They never sold a newspaper!
我看了今天早上的阿耳戈斯报 告诉你们:
I read this morning’s Argus, let me tell you something.
我把它包鱼了 我用它来点火
I’d wrap a fish in it! I’d use it as kindling!
我会用这张报纸训练我的狗 如果它不是
I’d train my poodle on it if he wasn’t a French poodle…
法国狮子狗而且偏爱巴黎日报
and partial to pages of Paris-Soir.
我不会花一个子儿去看这种东西
But I wouldn’t shell out a hard-earned nickel to read the thing!
拜托 头儿让我们休息一下
Come on, chief, give us a break.
当然 提比斯 休息一下
Sure, Tibbs. Take a break.
去佛罗里达躺在阳光下
Go to Florida. Lie in the sun.
等着椰子掉下来 就编个这样的故事吧
Wait for a coconut to drop. File a story on it.
比你写的乡村粮食过剩强多了
It’d be more of a grabber than your piece on the county grain surplus!
人的角度 这才是卖♥♥点
The human angle! That’s what sells papers!
我们需要一份精华性的头版 那个智多星就可以
We need a front page with a heart and the Idea Man can put it there!
如果我们有更多的门路…
Look, chief, if we had more access…
如果青蛙有翅膀 它就不会噘着屁♥股♥蹦来蹦去了
If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump it’s ass a-hopping.
我不想听借口 我要成果
I don’t want excuses, I want results!
那个智多星的嗜好是什么？他从哪里来的？
What makes the Idea Man tick? Where’s he from?
我想知道有关他的一切 他有女朋友吗？他有双亲吗？
I want to know everything about him! Has he got a girl? Has he got parents?
每个人都有双亲
Everybody has parents.
没错可有几个呢？
All right, how many?
怎么样帕金森？你沉默很久了
How about it, Parkinson? You’ve been awful quiet over there.
额… – 深水不扬波
Uh… – Still waters run deep.
帕金森身上唯一深的是他的耳洞
Only thing deep with Parkinson are the holes in his ears.
对 智多星
Yes, Idea Man.
他的梦想是什么？他的欲望是什么？
What are his hopes and dreams, his desires and aspirations?
他整天都在思考还是在特定的时间？
Does he think all the time or a certain portion of the day?
他有多高？鞋子是多少尺码？他睡在哪里？
How tall is he? Shoe size? Where does he sleep?
他早餐吃什么？
What does he have for breakfast?
他会不会在烤面包上涂果酱？
Does he put jam on his toast or doesn’t he?
如果不那为什么不？又是从什么时候开始的？
If not, why not and since when?
喂？
Well?
你们这帮废物
Ah. You’re useless.
嗯 智多星 “创造者”
Yes. Idea Man. “Creator.”
“改革者” “思索者”
“Innovator.” “Cerebrator.”
冒牌货 – 嗯？
Fake! – Huh?
我来告诉你 那家伙是个冒牌货
I tell you, the guy’s a phony.
冒牌货？ – 就像一张3美元的钞票
Phony, huh? – As a three-dollar bill.
谁说的？ – 我说的 艾蜜·阿尔切
Says who? – Says me, Amy Archer!
凭什么说他是智多星？因为赫德萨克这么说过？
Why is he an Idea Man? Because Hudsucker says he is?
他的点子是什么？为什么任何人都不能采访他？
What are his ideas? Why can’t anyone interview him?
我赌5美元她会提她普利策奖
Five bucks says she mentions her Pulitzer.
还来？你自愿的
Again? You’re on.
看这家伙的嘴脸
Just take a look at the mug on this guy.
突出的眉毛猿人似的前额 白♥痴♥的笑容
The jutting eyebrows, the simian forehead, the idiotic grin.
他长着一幅只有妈妈才会喜欢面孔… 还是在发工资那天
He has a face only a mother could love on payday.
现在唯一的故事就是 这个家伙怎么愚弄你的？艾尔
The only story here is how this guy made a monkey out of you, Al.
不论如何 我仍是这份小报的主编
Yeah, monkey or not, I’m still editor of this rag.
我想你正在写”J·艾德加胡佛:他何时结婚？”
You were doing the piece on the FBI. “Hoover: When Will He Marry?”
我昨天就上交了 领带不错 艾尔 – 好 那就写续篇
I filed it yesterday. Nice tie, Earl. – Well, do a follow-up.
“胡佛:警探或娘娘腔？”
“Hoover: Crime Buster or Pantywaist?”
你们剩下的这些笨蛋多用点脑子
The rest of you mugs get off your brains
给我找点智多星的故事回来
and get me that Idea Man story!
艾尔 他是骗人的
Al, he’s the bunk.
我敢用我的普利策奖打赌 – 唔
I’ll stake my Pulitzer on it! – Hmm.
说说看 伙计 你从哪儿搞到这身新行头的？
Say, buddy, where’d you get the new duds?
嗨伙计 那个水桶屁♥股♥ 怎么会喜欢蓝色信件的？
Say, buddy, how did old bucket butt like his blue letter? Heh.
他气爆了吗？他死了吗？哦你好 穆斯伯格先生
Did he bust a gut? Did he die? Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger.
大厅 我们没有这么多时间 – 马上 穆斯伯格先生
Lobby, we haven’t got all day. – Right away, Mr. Mussburger.
多好的早晨您过得如何 先生？
How are you this fine morning, sir?
今天能为您服务非常荣幸 穆斯伯格先生
It’s been a pleasure serving you today, sir.