银河系漫游指南

The fish is translating for you.
声波鱼 体小 身黄 外观像水蛭
The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like,
恐怕算得上是宇宙里最奇怪的生物
and probably the oddest thing in the universe.
它以脑电波为食 吸收无法理解的波
It feeds on brainwave energy, absorbing unconscious frequencies,
然后排泄可以被理解的波
and excreting a matrix of conscious frequencies
发送给大脑的语言区
to the speech centers of the brain.
它的实际作用就是 只要放一只在你耳朵里
The practical upshot of which is that, if you stick one in your ear,
你可以听懂任何语言
you instantly understand anything said to you in any language.
反抗是没用的
Resistance is useless.
-好的 -有人来了
-All right. -Someone’s coming.
来了 好像还活着
Here we go. Look lively.
陛下
Sir.
-什么 -搭便车的人
-What? -Hitchhikers.
不要 你不用念诗
No, really, you don’t have to read.
我们已经够你们的了
We’ve put you through enough trouble already.
沃刚人的诗 是宇宙中第三烂的事
Vogon poetry is widely accepted as the third worst in the universe.
第二烂的 是卡里亚星球的阿格斯人
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria.
有一次 他们的诗人在朗诵他的诗
During a recitation by their Poet Master, Grunthos the Flatulent,
仲夏的早晨
of his poem Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty
发现腋窝长痣
I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning,
有4名听众死于脑内出血
four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging,
银河系艺术委员会的会长
and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council
咬下自己的一条腿 才活了下来
survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.
但是 我不要地球人
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts…
由苏塞克斯
with my blurgle…
宇宙中最烂的诗
The absolute worst poetry
是由苏塞克斯的保拉·米尔斯通·吉宁思 写的
was by Paula Millstone Jennings of Sussex.
幸运的是 他已经和地球一起毁灭了
Luckily, it was destroyed when the Earth was.
地球人 我给你两个选择
So, Earthlings, I present you with a choice.
死在真空的太空里
Either die in the vacuum of space,
或者告诉我 你们对我的诗怎么想
or tell me what you thought of my poem.
实际上 我喜欢你的诗
A… a… actually, I rather liked it.
-真的吗 -是的
-Hmm? -Yeah.
-很好 继续说 -是吗
-That’s good. Run with it. -Hmmm.
虽然有些词我不懂
Uh, some of the words I didn’t understand,
但是比喻让人印象非常深刻
but I found the imagery quite effective.
继续说
Continue.
它的节奏很有趣
Well, uh, yes, interesting rhythmic devices,
和里面的隐喻相对应
which seemed to counterpoint
透露出作者灵魂中 某种潜在的人性
the underlying metaphor of the humanity of…
-是沃刚人的 -沃刚人的 对不起 沃刚人的
-Vogonity! -Vogonity, sorry, vogonity…
透露出作者灵魂中所暗藏的沃刚人的博爱
of the poet’s soul.
你的意思是
So what you’re saying is,
我写诗因为
I write poetry because
在这个卑鄙 冷漠 无情的外表下
underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior,
我只想被人爱
I just want to be Ioved?
是的 是的 是的
Yes, yes, yes.
是的 是的
Yes, yes, yeah, please.
把他们扔下船
Throw them off the ship!
-不要 不要 -福特 福特
-No! No! -Ford. Ford!
好的 好的
All right! All right!
反抗是没用的
Resistance is useless!
闭嘴 洗一洗你的脏手
Shut up! Get a job! Wash your filthy hands!
不要惊慌 不要惊慌
Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
看来我们就要死了
So this is it? We’re going to die?
是的 我们就要死了
Yeah, we’re gonna die.
不 不会 这是什么
No, no, what’s this?
这是什么
What is this?
这是什么 这是 没用的东西 我们就要死了
What’s this? This is… nothing. Yeah, we’re gonna die.
你在流汗
You’re sweating.
-要拥抱一下吗 -不要
-Would you like a hug? -No.
《银河系漫游指南》里写道”宇宙”
“Space, ” says the introduction to The Hitchhiker’s Guide,
“是非常 非常大的”
“is big. Really big. ”
“你根本无法想像它到底是”
“You just won’t believe how vastly, ”
“多么 多么 多么的大”
“hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. ”
“很大 很大”
A… a… and so on.
上面还写到”如果你憋足了气”
It also says that if you hold a lungful of air,
“你可以在真空的宇宙里活30秒”
you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about 30 seconds.
可因为宇宙真是太大了
But with space being really big and all,
在这段时间内
the chances of being picked up within that time
被救起的几率为
are two to the power of two billion,
2的2079460347次方分之一
79 million, 460 thousand, are two to the power of two billion,
凑巧的是
By a staggering coincidence,
这个数字正是依诗林顿公♥寓♥的电♥话♥号♥码
it’s also the phone number of the Islington flat,
就是阿瑟参加化装舞会的地方
where Arthur went to a fancy dress party
在那里他遇到了他深爱的女人
and met a very nice young woman whom he totally blew it with.
虽然 地球 依诗林顿公♥寓♥ 以及电♥话♥
Though the planet Earth, the Islington flat and telephone
都被毁灭了
have all now been demolished,
福特和阿瑟却得救了
Ford and Arthur were, in fact, rescued.
-福特 -是
-Ford? -Yes.
-我想我变成了沙发 -我知道你的感觉
-I think I’m a sofa. -I know how you feel.
恢复正常状态
物理的定律真是多
So much for the laws of physics.
今日头条新闻
And our top story.
盗贼们在宇宙中最想偷的飞船
The sensational theft of the most coveted ship in the universe,
宇宙飞船”金之心”
the starship Heart of Gold.
在发射典礼时被人盗走了
Stolen at the launch ceremony by none other
这个人就是银河系的总统 查福德·碧波洛克思
than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox.
以人♥民♥的名义 自♥由♥的名义和
In the name of people, freedom, and, uh… democracy, stuff like that,
我要绑♥架♥我自己 而且我要带走这艘飞船
I hereby kidnap myself and I’m taking the ship with me. Whoo!
我们走
Come on!
碧波洛克思 全宇宙都同意
Beeblebrox, universally considered
他是太阳系里最傻的明星
to be the dimmest star in several solar systems,
他争议性地击败了哈玛·科洛拉 使他一举成名
is most famous for his controversial defeat of Humma Kavula
许多投票人以为 他们在为
who claimed many thought they were voting
宇宙最差服装比赛投票
for the worst-dressed being in the universe contest.
太棒了
Great.
科洛拉 让人印象深刻的
Kavula is best remembered for his slanderous
就是具有诽谤性的”不要给白♥痴♥投票”的竞选活动
“Don ‘t Vote for Stupid!” campaign.
不要光顾着自己玩 有件重要的事发生了
Put your ego aside. Something important has happened.
如果这船上有比我的自己还重要的东西
If there’s anything more important than my ego,
我一定现在就捉住它 并把它给毙了
I want it caught and shot now.
我最喜欢这样了
Come on, I Iove it.
查福德就是这么个人
Zaphod’s just this guy, you know.
你在干什么
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What d’you…?
我只是在电视上看我自己
I was just watching myself.
电脑说我们有几个搭便车的人
The computer says that we have a couple of hitchhikers.
搭便车的 我们为什么要接纳这些搭便车的人
Hitchhikers? Why’d you pick up hitchhikers?
不是我 是飞船接纳了他们
I didn’t. The ship did.
什么 你说什么
What? Wh… wh… Say what?
当我们启动非确定推进器 那个大按钮
When we engaged the Improbability Drive… The big button.
-我知道 -我们从这里接的他们
-I know. -They were picked up here.
在ZZ9PZA地区 等等 这就是你接我的地方
In sector ZZ9 PIural Z AIpha. Wait. That’s where you picked me up.
-地球 -不可能
-On Earth. -That’s impossible.
-只是可能的机会很小 -听着 我没时间关心这个
-No, just very improbable. -Listen. I don’t have time for this.
半个宇宙的警♥察♥都在追我们
We’ve got the police of half the galaxy after us.
我们还停下来接搭便车的人
We’ve stopped for hitchhikers.
你的打扮可拿满分 但是
So ten out of ten for style, but…
但是你想得太多 要被减去几百万分
minus several million for good thinking.
你真是太漂亮了 你使我感到疯狂
You’re too gorgeous, baby, stop it. You drive me crazy.
不用了 我让马文去
Don’t. I’ll send Marvin.
马文
Marvin.
你应该知道 我的心情很不好
You ought to know, I’m feeling very depressed.
是吗 我有一些事可以让你轻松一下
Well, we have something that should take your mind off things.
没用的 我的脑袋太大了
It won’t work. I have an exceptionally large mind.
我知道 我想让你去2号♥登船仓
Yeah, we know. But we need you to go down to the number two entry bay
把我们的偷渡者带到这里来
and pick up our stowaways and bring them up here.
就干这个 真没趣
Just that? I won’t enjoy it.
没办法 生活就是这样
Yeah, well, that’s life.
生活 不要和我讲生活
Life? Don’t talk to me about life.
-科瓦尔兹司令官 -是的
-Commander Kwaltz. -Yes.