银河系漫游指南

如果没有胡子 她看起来至少年轻80岁
Uh, without the beard, you look at Ieast 80 years younger.
也许我正在退化
Maybe I’m de-evolving.
我告诉你
Well, I should tell you that I do not date
我从不和单细胞生物约会 知道吗
single-celled organisms, okay?
让我们出去走走
Let’s go somewhere.
好吧 你想去哪里
Yeah. Definitely. Um, where do you have in mind?
-马达加斯加 -是那家在迪安大街新开的夜♥总♥会♥吗
-Madagascar. -Is that that new club on Dean Street?
不 是一个国家 位于非洲的海边
No, it’s a country off the coast of Africa.
马达加斯加岛 那我们还等什么
That Madagascar? Why are we waiting here?
等一下
Wait a sec.
我们走
Go.
你是认真的 但是我不能去马达加斯加
God, you’re serious. Um, I can’t go to Madagascar.
-为什么不能去 -因为 你知道
-Why not? -Because, I just, you know…
-你真的是认真的 -是的
-You’re serious? -Yeah.
我想去一个我从来没有去过的地方
I want to go somewhere I’ve never been
而且和你一起去 所以
and I’d like to go with you, so…
怎么样 李文斯通博士
what do you say, Dr Livingstone?
我说 这是一个很好的建议
I say that’s an extraordinary proposition.
但是我不能去 因为我有工作要作
I can’t go. I mean, I’ve got a job.
你可以辞职 回来后再找一个新的
Quit. Get a new one when you come back.
我连你叫什么名字都不知道 嗷 嗷
I don’t even know your real name. Ow! Ow!
-特瑞沙·麦克米兰 -好吧 特瑞沙·麦克米兰
-Tricia McMillan. -Well, Tricia McMillan.
我有一个建议
Um, I have a proposition for you.
我们为什么不先去个 近点的地方 比如康沃尔
Why don’t we go somewhere a little closer first, say Cornwall,
然后我们再决定 接下来要做什么
and We’ll see how it goes.
好吧 就去康沃尔
Right, of course, Cornwall.
对不起 打扰一下
Hey, excuse me.
你不觉得这个男人很无聊吗
Is this guy boring you?
你为什么不和我聊聊呢
Why don’t you talk to me instead?
我来自另一个星球
I’m from a different planet.
是真的 想看看我的飞船吗
It’s true. You want to see my spaceship?
想看看我的飞船吗 有这么搭讪的吗
Do you want to see my spaceship? What kind of chat-up Iine is that?
这样的事确实会发生的
Mm, that does happen.
说到这里
Speaking of…
我们还有2分钟 快把它喝完
We’ve got two minutes. Drink up.
那是我的房♥子
That’s my house.
地球人 都来一杯吧 我请客
People of Earth, a round of drinks, for everyone, on me.
你真的认为地球要毁灭了
You really think the world’s going to end?
是的
Yes.
我们是不是要躺在地上
Shouldn’t we lie down,
头上套个纸袋什么的
or put a paper bag over our heads, or something?
-如果你想的话 -那样有用吗
-If you like. -Will it help?
没用 再见了
Not at all. See you.
最后一杯
Last orders!
-那是什么 -快跑
-What is that? -Run!
小心
Look out!
啊 毛巾
Aha! Towel!
阿瑟
Arthur!
那些到底是什么
What the hell are those things?
这是沃刚建筑舰队的飞船
Yeow! They’re ships from a Vogon constructor fleet.
我早上接收到他们的信♥号♥♥ 这个会有用场的
I picked up their signal this morning. You’ll need this.
-你在干什么 -我们要搭便车
-What are you doing? -We’re hitching a ride.
地球人们
Um, people of Earth,
我叫普洛思托尼刻·沃刚·吉尔兹
this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
我来自银河系多♥维♥空间计划委员会
of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council.
也许你们已经意识到
As you are probably aware,
为了发展银河系边缘的地区
plans for the development of the outlying regions of the galaxy
我们需要在你们的银河系里建一条 多♥维♥空间高速公路
involve the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system.
地球是计划中要被毁灭的星球之一
And your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition.
别装作不知道了
There’s no point acting surprised about it.
这个计划已经放在
The plans have been on display
阿尔发人马座的开♥发♥办公室 有50个地球年了
at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for 50 Earth years.
如果你们不知道 那就是你们的问题了
If you can’t be bothered with local affairs, that’s your lookout.
无情的血腥的星球
Apathetic bloody planet.
我一点都不同情你们
I’ve no sympathy at all.
开始毁灭
《银河系漫游指南》
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
是一本非常出色的书
is a wholly remarkable book.
也许是星际书局有史以来出版过的
Perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful book,
最出色和成功的书
ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.
比《星际家庭保养指南》更流行
More popular than The Celestial Homecare Omnibus,
比《失重下可以做的53种事》更畅销
better selling than 53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity,
比武龙·科鲁飞德的哲学三部曲更具争议性
and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid’s trilogy
《上帝做错了什么》
of philosophical blockbusters, Where God Went Wrong,
《上帝最伟大的错误》
Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes,
《上帝这个人到底是谁》
and Who Is This God Person Anyway?
它已经替代了《银河系百科全书》
It’s already supplanted the Encyclopedia Galactica
成为拥有所有知识和智慧的知识宝库
as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom
还有另外两个重要的原因
for two important reasons.
第一 它比较便宜
First, it’s slightly cheaper,
第二在它的封面上
and second, it has the words “Don ‘t Panic ”
用很大的字印着”不要惊慌”
printed in large, friendly letters on its cover.
这么说 你不是来自吉尔福德
So you’ re not from Guildford?
这解释了你的口音 我总觉得你的口音有些奇怪
Which would explain the accent, which I’ve always wondered about.
你即不是一个没有工作的演员
Um, you’re not an out-of-work actor,
也不是这本书的作者
but rather a writer for this, this book thing.
感觉还好吧
Good, huh?
我感觉不是很好 我想喝杯茶
I don’t feel well. I need a cup of tea.
如果我知道我现在在哪里 会不会更绝望
If I asked where we were, would I regret it?
-我们现在是安全的 -太好了
-We’re safe for now. -Good.
我们在沃刚建筑舰队的一艘飞船的厕所里
We’re in the washroom on one of the ships of the Vogon constructor fleet.
-带我回家 福特 -阿瑟 你的家已经
-Oh, get me home, Ford. -Arthur, your home is…
上帝啊 我的家已经被推平了
Oh, God, my home. My home was demolished.
你不记得了
You don’t remember.
好吧 阿瑟 我要告诉你些事情
Okay, Arthur, I’ve got something to tell you.
虽然很不幸 但却是事实
It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.
你的家园地球 刚被炸毁了
Your home planet has been blown up.
什么 被炸毁了
Huh, blown up.
难道你不能作些什么吗
Couldn’t you have done something?
我救了你一命 这样我就不欠你什么了
I saved your life. Okay, that makes us even.
银河系并不好混 如果你想在这里活下去
It’s a tough galaxy. If you want to survive out here, you’ve…
你要知道你的毛巾在哪里
gotta know where your towel is.
过来帮我一下
Okay, give me a hand over here.
小心 很热 我们要离开这艘飞船
Careful. It’s hot. We’ve gotta get off this ship.
在沃刚人找到我们之前
Before the Vogons find us.
沃刚人最恨搭便车的人了 拉一下
Vogons, they hate hitchhikers. Pull.
好的
Huh?
-这样我们就有信♥号♥♥了 -沃刚是什么
-Now We’ll get a signal. -What is a Vogon?
问一下指南 说”沃刚”
Ask the Guide. Say “Vogons”.
沃刚
Vogons.
沃刚人是银河系里最令人生厌的种族之一
Guid Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy.
他们并不坏 但脾气不好
Not evil, but bad-tempered,
官僚主义 多管闲事和无情
bureaucratic, officious and callous.
哪怕他们的祖母在被怪兽追赶
They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers
如果没有一式三份的命令
from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
他们一根指头都不会动
without orders signed in triplicate,
命令被送过来 送过去
sent in, sent back,
需要排队 丢了又找到 找到后又丢了
queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry,
最后被埋在土里三个月
Iost again and finally buried in soft peat for three months
最后被回收利用成点火纸
and recycled as firelighters.
千万不要让沃刚人读诗给你听
On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.
他们不会思考 不会想像
They can’t think or imagine.
连字也不会念 只会使用机器
Most can’t spell. They just run things.
如果我们不尽快找到另一艘飞船
And if we don’t get a ride soon,
不用指南告诉我们 我们也会知道沃刚人有多讨厌
we won’t need the Guide to tell us how unpleasant the Vogons are.
他们今天已经毁灭了一个星球
They’ve already destroyed a planet today.
这些事总是让他们感觉很爽
That always makes them a little eee!
这是什么声音
Ughh! What is that?
-把这个放到你耳朵里 -什么
-Put this in your ear. -Huh?
我们无意中接了几位搭便车的人
We have unwittingly picked up a couple of hitchhikers.
这个鱼可以帮你翻译