洗不下来 这是真的纹身
It’s not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
艾伦 你都干了什么
Alan, what did you do!
-你是不是给我下药了 -我啥都没做
– Did you Roofie me? – I didn’t do anything!
斯图 他对天发过誓
Stu, he swore to god!
到底怎么了
What happened?
把它弄走
Get it off of me!
-什么鬼玩意 -一只猴子
– What the hell? – It’s a monkey.
小脸蛋真可爱 你好小猴子
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
艾伦
Alan…
手♥机♥ 艾伦 去找手♥机♥
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
找到了
I got it!
-道格 你死哪去了 -在游泳池边吃早饭
– Doug, where the hell are you? – I’m at breakfast. By the pool.
你们来不来
You guys coming down or what?
谢天谢地 道格没事
Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug’s fine.
斯图 道格没事 他在度假村
Stu, Doug’s fine. He’s at the resort.
那我们咋不在度假村
Why aren’t we at the resort.
出什么事了 你们在哪
What’s going on? Where are you guys?
我不知道啊 兄弟
I do not know, man!
我们醒来发现自己在某个烂得发霉的地方
We woke up in some shithole room in some city.
-天哪 什么地方 -不知道 道格
– Oh god. What city? – I don’t know, Doug!
反正是个狗屁亚洲城市
Fuckin Asia-town.
-我不知道 都跟你说了 -我们在哪
– I do not know, I told you. – Where are we?
-斯图 -干嘛
– Hey Stu. – What?
看看这个
Check this out.
你见过这种东西吗
Ever seen anything like this?
-那是什么 -小心 可能是个蜘蛛巢
– What is that? – Careful. Might be a spider’s nest.
我以前跟这些东西纠缠过
I’ve tangled with those before.
我就不明白了
I don’t get it man.
昨晚我们每人都抽了一瓶啤 你不也是吗
We each had one beer last night, right? I mean you too!
-是啊 但我先回去了 记得吗 -我屁都不记得了
– Yeah. But I left early, remember? – I don’t remember shit!
崔西不太舒服 所以她下来找我
Tracy wasn’t feeling well. She came down to get me.
等等 泰迪是不是跟你们在一起
Wait a second. Is Teddy with you guys?
什么 泰迪 你说什么
Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
他不在房♥间里 大家找了他一早上了
He wasn’t in his room. They’ve been looking for him all morning.
-泰迪在斯坦福念书吧 -没错 怎么
– Teddy went to Stanford, right? – Yeah. Why?
肏
Fuck!
-我发现了他的断指 -什么
– I just found his finger! – What?
我他妈的刚发现了他的断指 道格
I just found his fucking finger, Doug!
菲尔 出什么事了
Phil, what is going on?
好吧 我们就这样说
Alright. Alright, alright… this is what we’re gonna do.
你去告诉姑娘们 我们早上起来
You tell the girls that we woke up early
然后就去钓鱼了 听懂了吗
and went on a fishing trip, ok. And that’s where we are.
-行 -好 保持联络
– Right. – Right, stay by the phone!
肏
Shit!
出了点小问题
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
咋了
What is that?
不知道
We don’t know.
-是条虫吗 -是蘑菇吧
– Is it a worm? – It’s a mushroom.
没错 是香菇
Yeah, shiitake.
猴子 尝尝看 是不是香菇
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
-它哪懂得了人话 -它懂了
– He can’t understand you. – He just did.
-它拉着那玩意干嘛 -可能是饿了吧
– Why is he pulling on it? – He’s probably hungry.
等等 那个不是…
Wait a second. Is that…
搞什么啊 让那只基佬猴子离我远点
What the fuck, man! Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone!
周
Chow?
你们真尼玛疯了
You’re fucking crazy.
这儿太亮啦 艾伦 把我的墨镜拿来
It’s so fucking light in here! Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
真高兴见到你 莱雷
It’s great to see you, Leslie!
你也是 小可爱
Nice to see you too my little popo.
周 你在这搞什么飞机
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
艾伦几天前给我打电♥话♥ 叫我来参加婚礼
Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to the wedding.
-啥 -咋了 他是我的伴
– Excuse me? – What, he’s my plus one.
你没有伴 酒席上一个人可要两百美刀
You don’t have plus one. It’s $200 a plate.
伙计们 听他说 周 发生了什么
Guys, guys. Just focus, okay? Chow, what happened?
你们给我发短♥信♥ 说你们玩嗨了 还想跑趴
You guys texted me, said you’re fucked up and looking to party.
我就开了船来接你们 把你们带到曼谷来了
I picked you up on my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok.
我们昨晚玩得超嗨 贱♥人♥们
But we had a sick night, bitches!
慢着 周 我们在曼谷
Wait a second Chow, we’re in Bangkok?
是啦 淫乱之都
Holler, city of squalor.
你知道我这纹身是怎么来的吗
Do you know how I got this tattoo?
知道 一个纹身的家伙纹的呗
Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
醒醒吧 斯图 动动你的犹太脑袋瓜
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
猴子手上拿的什么
What’s the monkey holding?
-一截手指 -斯图 我有个坏消息
– That’s a finger! – Stu, I got some bad news.
泰迪昨晚跟我们在一起 那是他的手指
Teddy was with us last night. That’s his finger.
-泰迪死了吗 -没 他整晚都跟我们一起玩
– Teddy’s dead? – Teddy’s not dead! He partied with us all night!
-那他现在哪 -你什么都不记得了吗
– Well then where is he? – Don’t you remember anything?
-是啊 -啥都想不起来了 周
– No! – No, nothing, Chow.
行 且听我一一道来
Okay, I explain it all, okay?
先让我来上一口 理清思绪 来吧
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. Come to papa.
是不是有点多…
That’s a big…
准备好听屎上最疯狂的…
You ready for craziest fucking story ever…
周
Chow!
周 你还好吗
Hey Chow, you okay?
卧♥槽♥真的假的
You gotta be kidding me.
日 他挂了
Fuck, he’s dead!
-救命 -斯图
– Help! – Stu!
-救命 -斯图 闭嘴
– Help! – Stu, shut up!
-赶快叫急救 -闭嘴 他已经死了
– Call an ambulance! – Shut up! He’s dead!
听着 要是有人进来
Look, if someone comes and
发现一具尸体和成堆的可♥卡♥因♥
finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine…
我们就得在狗♥日♥的♥泰国监狱里烂掉了
We’re gonna spend the rest of our fucking lives in a Thai prison.
艾伦 求你别哭了
Alan! Please don’t cry!
好了 给我点时间理下思路
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to figure this out.
制冰机在十五楼
Ice machine located on 15th floor.
听着 这是有史以来最烂的点子
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
他奶奶的这是哪
What the fuck is this place?
曼谷是泰国首都
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand.
拥有一千二百万人口
Its population is 12 million people…
艾伦 过来搭把手
Alan, will you help!
-电梯 -我去按开关
– The elevator! – I’ll get the button!
这猴子是怎么回事
What the fuck is the deal with this monkey?
它懂我的意思了
That monkey gets it!
-快点 -我日
– Come on! – Fuck no!
没电了 我们得走楼梯
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
-肏 -快来
– Oh fuck! – Come on!
到了
Here it is!
先放脚 我以前干过这事
Feet first. I’ve done this before.
小心
Careful!
-斯图 -怎么了
– Stu! – What?
-我们还得去找泰迪 -天啊
– We still have to find Teddy! – Oh god.
楼顶
The roof!
泰迪
Teddy!
-你们看到他了吗 -没
– You guys see him? – No!
他不在这
He’s not here.
我真不敢相信噩梦重演了
I can’t believe this is happening again.
听着 我们会处理好 你先回去
Okay, look. We’ll handle this. You get back there.
去跟他们说我和艾伦
You tell them that Alan and
还有泰迪都喝高了 现在还在派对上
I got drunk with him, we’re still partying.
-你得先把婚结了 -不 没泰迪我就不回去
– You gotta go get married! – No! Not going back without Teddy!
他是罗伦的弟弟 他迷路了 受伤了
He’s Lauren’s little brother. He’s lost, he’s injured.
我这次要是搞砸了 就什么都没了
If I fuck this up, I lose everything.
行
Okay.
好吧
Alright.
-艾伦 检查下你的口袋 -什么
– Alan, check your pockets! – What?
你知道规矩 可能会有线索
You know the drill. C’mon there might be clues.
-看看手♥机♥ 号♥码 短♥信♥ -好主意
– Check your phones! Numbers, texts. – That’s a good idea!
-我这什么都没有 肏 -我这有条周的短♥信♥
– I got nothing. Fuck! – I got an text from Chow.
-什么时候的 -昨晚十点
– What time? – Uh, 10 o’clock last night.
-什么内容 -“就来 渣渣们”
– What’s it say? – “On my way, Niggahs”