疲倦的火枪手慢步走进酒馆
The weary gunfighter walked slowly through the saloon.
长途跋涉令他疲惫不堪
The long miles from Cheyenne had taken their toll.
谁在说话？
Who’s saying that stuff?
他警惕地环顾四周
He scanned the room with a suspicious eye.
做了多年法外之徒 他懂得
Years of being on the wrong side of the law had taught him
虽然勇者能摆脱困境
that a tough man can get out of a situation,
但聪明人一开始就不会淌浑水
but a smart man never gets himself into one.
别说了 我只想安静地喝一杯威士忌
Please quit doing that, I just want to have a shot of whiskey in peace.
但火枪手难偿所愿
But the gunfighter would find no peace.
因为亨德森兄弟为了两百美元的悬赏
For the Henderson boys were waiting in the corner
正在角落等着解决他
to kill him for the $200 bounty on his head.
真的吗？
Is that true?
你们想杀我 像这声音说的？
You boys trying to kill me like this voice is saying?
啊…
Uhh…
不是的
No.
大亨德森在撒谎
Lied the oldest Henderson boy.
你怎么知道我撒谎？
How do you know I’m lying?
大亨德森自言自语道
The oldest Henderson boy asked of the air.
我才没自言自语
No, I didn’t ask the air.
我在问你 你这该死的…声音
I’m asking you, you fuckin’ voice.
大亨德森说道
Said the oldest Henderson boy.
别再说「大亨德森说道」了
Would you please stop saying “Said the oldest Henderson boy”?
汤米恳求道
Implored Tommy
也就是大亨德森
The oldest Henderson boy.
与此同时 小亨德森的手
Meanwhile, the younger Henderson’s hand
正准备拔右胯的左轮手♥枪♥
twitched by the Colt Peacemaker on his right hip.
他想大喊 “瞧你背后”
He was thinking of shouting “Look out behind you”
骗火枪手转身
to trick the gunfighter into turning around
好在背后放冷枪
so he could shoot him in the back.
我才没这么想
No, I was not!
得了吧 强尼 又是「瞧你背后」？
Come on, Johnny, again with the “Look behind you”?
你打算说他背后有什么？
What were you gonna say was behind him this time?
呃 没什么
Uhh, nothing.
强尼撒谎
Johnny lied.
他打算说有一只熊
He was going to say a bear.
别逗了
Oh, come on.
一只熊？在酒馆里？
A bear, Johnny? In a saloon?
强尼的脸变得通红
Johnny’s face turned red.
他希望自己在一个安全的地方
He began wishing he was in a safe place
躺在家中的小床上 和洋娃娃在一起
at home, in bed, with his dolls.
胡说 我没有洋娃娃
Hey, hey, I ain’t got no dolls!
为了放松
To calm his nerves
他想象自己一边给洋娃娃梳头
he pictured himself combing his dolls’ hair
一边给她和自己各倒了一杯茶
and pouring them each a cup of tea.
没有
No!
等等 你和洋娃娃一起喝茶？
Wait, wait, wait. You have tea parties with your dolls?
小享德森的柔弱无助
But something about the younger Henderson’s vulnerability
触动了火枪手的心
opened a door in the gunfighter’s heart.
不 才没有
Nope, no it didn’t!
压抑多年的情感终于苏醒了
Inside, a sea of confusing emotions bubbled to the surface.
他幻想自己抱着小亨德森
He started imagining himself holding the younger Henderson
轻抚他油腻的头发
and stroking his greasy hair.
他幻想着与小亨德森的初吻
He pictured his first kiss with the younger Henderson.
不
No!
两人憨笑自己的笨拙
They both giggle at how clumsy it was.
期待下一个吻更美妙
They know the next one will be even better.
我绝对没那么想
I’m seriously not picturing that!
他就这么想的
But inside he was.
没有
No, I’m not!
他有
But he was.
没有 别说了 到此为止
No, I’m not and that’s the final word.
他有
But he was.
见鬼
Goddamnit!
你俩干脆去开个房♥吧
Why don’t you two go get a room?
我们凭什么相信这声音？
Hey, why should we trust this voice anyway?
火枪手忽然计上心头
Just then, the gunfighter had an idea.
喂，你 – 我？
Hey, you. – Me?
想一个100以内的数
Think of a number between 1 and 100
看看这声音是不是真的知道我们想什么
and then we’ll see if this voice really knows what we’re thinkin’!
好 明白了
Okay, got it.
妓♥女♥莎莉开始想自己最喜欢的数字
Sally the whore began thinking of her favorite number
是32
which was 32.
她突然感到下身一阵瘙痒
She then thought of her lady parts and how itchy they were
临时决定换成她第二喜欢的数 76
它说对了！
The voice is right!
32是我最喜欢的数
32 is my favorite number,
但我又换成了76
but then I changed my mind and went with 76!
那瘙痒呢？
And your cooch?
从上周六开始就痒得难受 比尔
It’s been itching something horrible since Saturday, Bill.
你知道为什么吗？
You know anything about that?
呃…不知道
Umm…no.
他知道
He did
不过这事咱们待会儿再谈
But we’ll get to that in a minute.
看来它确实什么都知道
Looks like that voice really does know everything.
火枪手这才发现酒保是个黑人
The gunfighter noticed for the first time that the bartender was black.
这在西部可不寻常 不过火枪手并不介意
This was still unusual in the west, but the gunfighter decided he was okay with it.
呃…谢谢？
Umm, thanks?
镇上的人因自己不抱种族偏见颇感自豪
The people in the town prided themselves for their progressive attitudes about race.
说得没错
That’s right.
要是他们知道山姆和内德的妻子有染
But would they still feel that way
他们还会这么宽容吗？
if they knew that Sam had been sleeping with Ned Schilling’s wife?
什么？
What!?
放松点 内德
Relax, Ned
人人都睡过你老婆
alright? I mean, everyone has been with her.
包括我
Guilty.
那倒也是
Yeah, you’re right.
山姆还睡过约瑟夫的妹妹
And Elijah Jessup’s sister.
山姆 你死定了
Welp, it’s time for him to die.
小心点 约瑟夫
Watch yourself, Jessup.
你最好放下枪 不然我把你崩成两半
You best put that gun down or I’ll cut you in half.
这音乐
That music,
似乎是凶兆
it seems kind of ominous, don’t it?
凶兆?
Ominous?
什么意思？
What’s that mean?
就是不好的预感
You know, like, something bad’s about to happen,
比如无谓的枪战
like a needless gunfight.
一场死亡芭蕾即将上演
The stage was set for an awesome ballet of death.
有人将血溅当场 可谁是第一个呢？
Blood would be spilled, but who would be the first?
等等 什么狗屁死亡芭蕾？
Wait a second. Ballet of death?
这声音想让我们自相残杀
What the hell? I think this voice wants us to kill each other.
这时火枪手发现了一枪撂倒汤米的机会
Meanwhile, the gunfighter saw his opening to shoot Tommy dead.
等等 它在说谎
No, no, no, wait! That one really is a lie.
瞧 我手上根本没枪
See! My hand’s nowhere near my gun.
好吧 刚才是开玩笑 现在说个真事
Okay, you got me. That one wasn’t true. But this one is.
昨天汤米和比尔·约瑟夫的老婆大干了一场
Yesterday, Tommy Henderson made sweet love to Bill Jessup’s wife.
不
No!
我们老娘你也敢上？
You made sweet love to our mama?
你听我解释…
Here’s the thing about that.
你死定了 亨德森
Oh, you’re dead, Henderson.
小约瑟夫说道 其实他最近还跟他嫂嫂偷♥欢♥
Said Gabriel, who had recently delivered a load of cream to the back porch of his brother’s wife.
还是走的后♥庭♥
He did her in the butt.
什么？
What!?
你疯了？这是你亲哥呀
How could you? Your own brother!
虽然比尔表现出厌恶之情
Yet even as Bill reacted with disgust,
但他自己更猥琐
the irony was not lost on him.
我知道你想说什么
You know what, I see where you’re goin’ with this
我收回我的厌恶之情
and I’m just gonna retract my disgust right now
行吗？
if that’s possible.
他定期溜进保罗的谷仓
For he had been regularly sneaking into Paul Valentine’s barn.
好吧 我们听够了 换个话题吧
Okay, you know, we’re good, we’re good here. I think we should just move on.
他喜欢猥亵保罗最心爱的母羊 玛莎