最伟大的（2009）

一年后 我选了钢琴课 他选了踢足球
Our senior year, I took piano, and he had soccer,
每天放学后 我们都会在同一个地方擦肩而过
so we would pass each other every day after school in the exact same spot.
渐渐地 那成了我生活中不可缺少的东西
And it became something I looked forward to,
日复一日 他每天都会出现在那里
so much so that I could tell you all the days he was absent,
从来没有让我失望过
because those were the days that I was disappointed.
有时他会看看我 有时他会把脸转向一边
And sometimes he would look at me. Sometimes he would turn away.
而有时他的眼神会非常炽烈
And sometimes it would be so intense
我们会在那段台阶上彼此注视着对方
that we would start looking at each other from the very beginning of the steps.
终于在最后一天 他叫住了我
And then on the last day, he talked to me.
他说的所有的话 和我平时想象的一模一样
And everything he said was exactly how I pictured it would be.
他来到我的身边 来到我的梦里
And he felt the way he felt in my dreams,
让我觉得我的命运就本该如此似的
and I thought everything was happening exactly the way it was supposed to.
那是我最最幸福的时刻
And I was the happiest I’ve ever been…
幸福和紧张交织的时刻
happy and scared all at the same time.
他要是在 一定会在我肚子上写些安慰的话的
And if he had signed my belly, he would have written something comforting.
那是我所解的最难的积分方程式
That’s one of the most difficult integrals I’ve ever solved.
为此我花了三年的时间
Took me three years to do it.
我一直爱着他
And I was in love with him.
所以我才会留着这个孩子
That’s why I’m keeping this baby.
我爱了他整整四年了
I was in love with him for four years.
我几乎不了解他 但我所有的想象
I barely knew him, but everything was exactly how I imagined it.
和我所有的憧憬
Everything was just how I pictured it.
都会让我珍重这个孩子
And I have to keep this baby.
我觉得那凝聚了我全部的爱
I think he was the love of my life.
我累了
I’m very tired.
快撑不下去了
I can’t fight it anymore.
我太累了
I’m so tired.
8个月
故事讲得不错 – 谢谢
That was a good story. Thanks.
我不是吹捧 我是说很让人感动
No, I mean… I don’t… I don’t mean it that way. I mean, it was good to hear.
你也许不会 反正我是会的
Not good for you, but good for me,
那你哥哥的葬礼是什么样的？
I guess. So what was your brother’s funeral like?
我记不清了 – 不尽人意吗?
I don’t remember. It’s all just a blur?
我真记不清了 我当时是精神恍惚
No, I really don’t remember. I was too fucked up.
不会晕成那样吧
I didn’t know you get high.
不至于 但我妈妈每两个星期就会测测我
I don’t. My mom tests me every two weeks.
看我还是不是个正常人
It’s pretty much the only thing they do that proves they know I’m alive.
要我送你回家吗? – 好吧
Need a ride home? Yeah, sure.
胎儿的头已经朝下了 说明你快要生了
Baby is head down, which means you’re getting very close.
你还好吧 布鲁尔先生 看上去你需要休息啊
How are you feeling, Mr. Brewer? You look like you could use some rest.
我还好 谢谢 胎儿怎么样?
Oh, I’m fine. Thank you. How’s the baby?
我正在帮你检查
Just where we want her to be right now.
是女孩儿吗? – 对不起 我还以为你已经知道了
It’s a girl? I’m sorry. I thought you knew.
是个女孩儿 – 祝贺你啊
It’s a girl? Oh, congratulations.
她健康吗?
Is she healthy?
再没有比她更健康的了
Doesn’t get any stronger than that heartbeat.
你保养得很好
You’ve taken really good care of her.
这真是太好了
Oh, this is wonderful.
真是太好了
This is wonderful. Wonderful.
失陪了
Excuse me.
太好了 我去去就来
It’s wonderful. Okay. I’ll be right back.
真不错
A girl. A girl. Okay.
你又怎么了? – 我只想喘口气
What is wrong with you? I just need a minute.
那你就喘吧 我要进去了
So, take a minute. I’m going back in. No.
我不想要这个孩子 不管我是不是显得太无情了
I don’t want this baby, Allen. I don’t care if I sound horrible.
你无情 是吧？
You sound horrible.
如果他还活着 她不会还留着那个孩子
If Bennett were alive, she never would have kept it.
而我会是她的朋友 – 你没必要
I can’t be grateful to her. – You don’t have to be.
我也不会 – 那就不要 不要做朋友
I won’t do it. I won’t. – Don’t. Don’t. Don’t do anything.
我已经不在乎了
I don’t care anymore.
我就不能表达我的感觉吗?
Don’t I have the right to tell you how I’m feeling?
你现在所说的一切 真是太丑恶了
Not when everything you say is sounding so ugly.
失去自己的孩子才是丑恶的
You’re right. Losing a child is ugly.
不是只有你才是痛苦者
You don’t have a patent on grief.
你不能为了解脱而让别人受罪
You’re not the only one who knows how to do it. Other people grieve
你没有啊 我没看见你流过泪
You don’t. – You haven’t shed a tear once.
我回去了 – 你还能去看体育比赛
I’m gonna go back in. You used to get misty when you would go to his sports events.
这个家得有人撑着 不能垮掉
Listen. Somebody has to stand strong in this family. Somebody has to be together.
如果我崩溃了 一切就都完了
If I fall apart, everything goes to hell in a handbasket.
我也撑着 那我的痛苦谁来管
Well, I am so sorry that I can’t handle anything but my grief,
这日子根本就不是人过的
and I don’t treat this family like a goddamn army.
不光你有痛苦 格蕾丝
It’s not all about you and your grief, Grace.
我们也应该去关心我们周围的人
There are people in our lives who need our attention.
那也不能就像是死了条狗 你不能那样
Well, you don’t give a puppy to someone who’s just lost their dog. You just don’t do that.
那怎么办 赶她出去？
So what do we do? Give her back? Hmm?
给她20块钱 然后说祝你好运?
Give her 20 bucks? Wish her luck?
那把孩子当成个我们失去儿子的礼物
Don’t praise her like she’s a gift that was given to us, like it makes it okay that our son is gone.
那就能缓解痛苦了吗？
It doesn’t soften the blow.
她也是为了我
She does for me.
那太好了 我真高兴
Oh, well, I’m so glad for you. I’m so glad
那女孩让我们失去了儿子 你却得到解脱?
that the girl that is the reason our son is dead softens the blow for you.
那是什么话 – 那他把车停在路中间干什么?
That’s unfair. What was he doing in the middle of the road?
如果他那时和朋友 或者和我们在一起
If he’d been with his friends, if he’d been with us,
还会跑到路中间去吗 回答我
would he have been in the middle of the road? Answer me that.
你什么也不知道 就在这里胡说八道
You don’t know anything about it. You haven’t made the slightest effort to get to know this girl.
我怎么胡说了 你不明白吗？
I don’t want to get to know her. Why can’t you understand that?
那天晚上死的应该是她 应该是她
It should have been her that died that night. It should have been her!
你好
Hello?
你好 – 你有事吗?
Hi. – Can I help you?
阿什莉把围巾忘在我车里了 你是谁啊?
Yeah. Ashley left this scarf in my car. Um, who are you?
我叫艾米 我住在这里
I’m Amy. I live here.
艾米? – 是的
Amy. – Yeah.
艾米 你是阿什莉的妹妹?
Ashley’s older sister Amy?
她告诉你什么了 我触电死了?
What’d she tell you? I grabbed a live wire?
从船上掉到海里淹死了?
Fell overboard on our family cruise?
这次她又编的什么? – 瑞恩
What’d you tell him this time, you freak? – Ryan…
我会告诉妈妈的 – 我恨你
I’m telling Mom. – I hate you! – Freak.
瑞恩 等等 听我解释 瑞恩 听我说
Ryan! Ryan, please. Wait. I can explain. – Ryan, please just listen to me!
如果没人关注我 我可能早就死了
Look. They don’t pay any attention to me in there.- I might as well be dead.
你根本不懂这意味着什么 – 真是对不起
You have no idea what it’s like. – Yes, I do. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
你这个骗子 就是个骗子
You’re a liar! That’s what you are!
相信我 是我错了
Look, it’s all bad! Trust me!
你根本不懂这意味着什么
You have no idea what it’s like! Say it!
说啊 说你根本不懂这意味着什么
Say you have no idea what it’s like.
我根本不懂
I have no idea.
打开门 快他妈的打开门
Open the gate. Open the fucking gate!
瑞恩 因为我就是想你上♥床♥
Ryan, look, please. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to like me.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you!
有人吗?
Hello?
有人吗?
Hello?
♪ Wanderers this morning came by ♪
♪ Where did they go? ♪
你又干什么了? – 我给律师打了电♥话♥
What have you done? – I called Gloria.
你怎么也不和我说一声？
You said we were gonna talk about it!
我们不能在在这样的环境里生活了
I couldn’t live with the house so neglected. Now, come on. Please.
等等 你在干什么?
Wait. Whoa. Whoa. What is this?
你居然把他的衣服洗了 快滚
You washed his shirt? You’re fired! Get out of here!
对不起
I’m sorry.
你动了他的房♥间 你是故意的
You’ve erased him. You did it on purpose.
我什么也没做 只是要过正常的生活
What are you doing? You’re acting like a child. I’ve done nothing like that at all.
他的照片不见了 他的味道 都不见了
I wanted to be able to see his pictures and to smell him now that he’s gone.
味道在我身上
Grace, he’s here.
没有这些 他就死了
He isn’t here! He’s dead! He’s gone!
他已经死了 真见鬼了
I know that, goddamn it! Don’t you… Don’t…
保存这些很重要 你就不知懂吗?
There’s nothing to hold on to! Don’t you understand that?
你到底怎么了 真是不可理喻
I mean, what is wrong with you? Can’t you just cry one tear?
♪ Dear shadow alive and well ♪
♪ How can the body die? ♪
♪ You tell me everything ♪
♪ Anything ♪
♪ Into town one morning I went ♪
对不起
I’m s… I’m sorry.
♪ Staggering through premonitions of my death ♪
哦 天啊
Oh, my God, Allen.
♪ I don’t see ♪