绅士们

你真是碰了一鼻子灰 戴夫
I do believe that was a bit of a fuck off, Dave.
因为他灰头土脸就像撒了气的气球
‘Cause he just fizzled like a party balloon.
不能因为这个就去杀人吧
That’s no reason to go after a fella.
我不知道该怎么跟你说 他想看见迈奇流血
Well, I don’t know what to tell you. He wants Mickey’s blood.
他本来能得手的 如果不是…
And he would be getting it too, if it wasn’t for…
你是个无♥耻♥的幻想狂 你该走了
You’re a filthy fantasist, and now it’s time to leave.
别说傻话 这才是前戏
Oh, don’t be silly. I’m only just lubing you up.
马修 或任何人
Now, there is a reason
都想不通迈奇是怎么做到的
why Matthew, or anyone else for that matter,
其中必有隐情
cannot work out how Mickey does what he does.
他是怎么每年种出五十吨♥”白寡妇超级奶酪”的
How does he grow 50 tons of white widow super cheese every year?
大家都知道 那需要很大的占地面♥积♥
Everyone knows that needs a lot of space.
所以这个地方在哪 他是怎么不被人发现的
So where is the space and how come he’s kept it under wraps?
你不能在地上挖个坑
You can’t just dig a hole in the ground
邓肯勋爵
九号♥庄园
往里面放两百个集装箱
and drop 200 shipping containers in there.
不行的 亲爱的 行不通的
Oh, no, my love. That will not work.
你得有点创意 换个角度思考
No. You have to be creative. You need an angle.
这个国家的土地的问题在于 土地匮乏
The problem with land in this country is there’s not much of it…
欧洲
哪怕本应是私人领地的地方 公众也能进入
and there’s public access even when it’s supposed to be private.
加拿大
美国
公众有权利 遛狗的人
And the public have rights… Dog walkers…
加油啊
Yes, jog on.
公众步道
公共小径 人人有权随意来往
…footpaths, right to roam,
漫游闲逛的人
bimblers, ramblers,
獾爱好者
badger lovers…
闲的没事干的管事婆
and any other busy cunt with enough time on his hands
管事婆
监视着英格兰绿地上的一举一动
to sniff the green tweed of England.
早上好
Good morning!
他们有小组 论♥坛♥ 线下聚会 社交媒体
And they have groups, forums, meetings, social media,
他们喜欢闲话家常
and they love a good chat and a hiss about anyone
天啊 又是他
再聚一次
再聚一次
在没领许可证就修剪草坪的人背后指指点点
who’s decided to mow his lawn without a license.
还有直升机 无人机 谷歌♥地球
And then there’s the helicopters, drones, Google Earth,
文物遗址 教区议会 等等等等
heritage sites, parish councils, and the beat goes on.
还没想到接管这里就有这么多麻烦
And that’s before you even think about getting power in here.
所以迈奇究竟用了什么独特的方法
So what is Mickey’s unique method?
我向脸颊 向优雅 向品味致敬
I tip my cap at the cheek, at the elegance, at the class.
那是什么独特方法
And what would that method be exactly?
要了解一个人首先得理解他的文化
You have to understand a culture to understand a man.
纨绔子弟 贵族 公爵 女公爵 爵爷和贵妇
Toffs, aristocrats, dukes, duchesses, lords and ladies,
大♥片♥土地大把金钱
lots of land and fuck all dough.
有宅邸要管 湿气要除 银器要擦
Houses to keep, damp to keep out, silver to polish.
要知道 现金对于那些被愤怒的左翼分子和遗产税
You must remember that cash is very persuasive
教训过的人来说是非常有说服力的
to the class that got spanked by angry lefties and death duties.
每次继承一大笔财富 都要把一半上交给国家
And every time you inherit a fortune, you lose half to the state.
这时我就要像守护天使一样冲上去
So this is my moment to swoop in like a guardian fucking angel
提供服务 帮他们把宅邸安排得井然有序
and offer my services so they can keep their houses in order.
只要现金每年源源不断地入账
And they’re not too bothered about what I do,
他们就不太关心我做什么
as long as that cash keeps rolling in each year.
拉到贵族客户固然好 但并不容易
It’s good to get a lord, yes, but it’s not easy.
需要下功夫 美酒 女人和迪斯科
It takes work, wine, women and disco.
十二个种植点 十二座农场
Twelve sites. Twelve farms.
全英国有一千座这样的庄园
One thousand of these estates in the great UK.
想一网打尽 祝你好运
Bonne chance trying to find them all.
这就是我的产业架构
That’s it. My infrastructure.
尊敬的先生 你花钱买♥♥的就是这个
And that, sir, is, with my blessing, what you are paying for.
如果它如你所言的那样隐蔽 利润丰厚
If it’s as discreet and as lucrative as you claim it is,
我要全盘买♥♥下
I’ll buy the whole business.
我受够了前戏 迈克尔
But enough foreplay, Michael.
我要看看你种的大♥麻♥
I wanna see your plant.
我花了大力气让我的行动
I’ve gone to great lengths to make my operation
尽可能地隐蔽 马修
as invisible as possible, Matthew.
就算我的叶子就在你脚下 你也不会察觉
If you were standing on my bush, you wouldn’t know it.
事实上 你现在正站在我的叶子上
As a matter of fact, you are standing on my bush.
真是蔚为壮观啊 迈克尔
It’s a spectacular business, Michael.
真是可惜 等这玩意在英国合法化
Such a shame it will go bankrupt in ten years
这行就要破产了
when things go legal in the great UK.
你要我出高价买♥♥下
And you want me to pay top dollar for it?
不到半码
A nugget under half a yard?
不到五亿
就是这个价
That is the price.
请进 我给你看看这五亿能买♥♥到什么
Now step inside and I’ll show you what half a yard gets you.
价值四亿美元的可爱工棚
A delightful tool shed for 400 million dollars.
圆头锤包含在价格内吗
Is the ball-peen hammer included?
当然了 我带你去看看钉子
Course it is. Now let me show you the nails.
小心碰头
Watch your head.
继续忙 小伙子们
Carry on, chaps.
英国的宜人绿地
England’s green and pleasant land.
这些”钉子”不错
Those are some nails.
选址 员工 科技
Location, staff, technology.
瞧 你是为了未来的上层建筑买♥♥下了下层建筑
See, you’re buying the substructure for the superstructure to come,
付款后 你将继承最好的种植点
and with purchase you will inherit the best sites available,
全世界最优秀的植物学家和大♥麻♥品鉴师
the finest botanists and herb sommeliers in the world,
以及全球最具创新性的大♥麻♥科技
as well as the most innovative marijuana technology on the planet.
等这生意合法化了
And when this little piggy goes to legal market
需求远远大于供给
and the demand way outpaces the supply…
这些种植地 这些技艺高超的园丁们
these locations, these green-fingered botanical boys,
还有我的先进科技
as well as my superior technology,
将会溢价
will be at a premium.
而这一切都将归你所有
And you would own them all.
你知道吗 在美国
Did you know it took 15 years
禁酒令废除后
after alcohol prohibition ended back home
合法市场花了十五年才填补了供需缺口
for the legal market to scratch that itch?
十五年
Fifteen years.
这还是没人出手的情况
And that’s if you do nothing with it.
没错 不管怎么看都是双赢
Yes, it’s a win-win, no matter how you look at it.
我不贪心 你和我都知道
And I’m not greedy. You and I both know
四亿再良心不过了
that 400 million is a fair-to-generous asking price,
尤其是考虑到一旦合法化
especially considering that once this game’s kosher,
价值就能升到两千亿
it’s going to be worth somewhere between 200 billion and,
到五千亿英镑之间
well, half a trillion pounds.
每年
Annually.
大♥麻♥
Weed.
叶子
Bush.
阿莫拉臭鼬
Skunk-amola.
白寡妇超级奶酪
White widow super cheese.
这是一场新的淘金潮
It’s the new gold rush.
这是赚大钱的一线机会
This is the thin end of a very fat wedge, sir.
既然是赚大钱 你为什么不自己留着
If it’s such a fat wedge, why don’t you keep it?
我一路摸爬滚打
You see, I’ve developed a reputation
已经声名在外了
as a man who came up the hard way.
可以说我这双漂亮的白手上沾满了鲜血
You could say that there’s blood on these pretty white hands.
但对于新的行业 一旦合法化
But in the new business, once legal
在内阁可观的
and under the jurisdiction of
合法化保护伞之下
the respectable umbrella of ministerial legitimacy,
做这行的企业需要有清白的过去
an enterprise like this will need a face with a clean past,
很可惜我没有
which sadly I do not possess.
退休似乎也不错
Retirement doesn’t sound so bad.
在郊外散步 和我的爱人修剪玫瑰
Long walks in the countryside, pruning roses with my better half,
养养孩子
raising some cubs.
这种生活是我应得的
I’ve earned it.
我们都知道种植只是这项生意的一半
Look, we both know growing is only 50% of the business.
我需要你在欧陆的人脉
I need your European connections.
我见过香肠的生产过程了
I’ve seen how the sausage is made.
现在给我讲讲肉店
Now tell me about the butcher shops.
那之后再说 马修
Well, that comes later, Matthew,
钱打进托管账户时再说
when the money’s in escrow.
既然我们的主人工困境已确立