护工故事（2016）

但他救了所有人
but he saved everybody.
他穿过敌军♥火♥力去请求帮助
He ran through enemy fire to get help.
特雷弗 在那种情况下 你会怎么做
Trev, what would you do in that situation?
噢 我很可能会被吓出屎
Oh, I’d most likely shit myself.
我很可能就要帮他擦干净了
And I most likely would have to clean it up.
-不要担心他们 他们就是傻♥逼♥ -噢 好吧
– Don’t worry about them. They’re idiots. – Oh, okay.
当他屎裤子的时候我要负责帮他擦屁♥股♥
I have to clean him up when he shits himself.
天哪
God.
好啦
All right.
今晚开两间房♥ 我们住大的一间
Two rooms tonight. We’re living large.
老天 我要饿坏了
Man, I am starving.
对面好像有一家通宵营业的餐厅
I think there’s an all-night diner across the street.
你觉得如何
What do you think?
噢 桃子说她太累了
Oh, well, Peaches said she was too tired.
噢 好吧 那就我们三个去吃饭吧
Oh, all right. Well, I guess it’ll be the three of us.
我点份起士牛堡三明治 就这样吧
I’m getting a patty melt. I don’t give a shit.
听着 或许 呃
Look, maybe, uh…
或许你也应该很累了
Maybe you could be too tired as well.
什么 噢
What? Oh.
噢 好吧
Oh, okay.
哇
Wow.
“商场”之后终于有所进展了
Come a long way since, “Mall.”
嘿 桃子已经睡了
Hey, guys, Peaches is already asleep.
你们出去要吃点东西吗
You guys wanna get something to eat?
那个 呃 要不你们俩自己出去吃吧
You know, um… Do you guys mind maybe just going by yourselves?
我太累了 街对面就有家吃的
I’m pretty beat. I think there’s a place across the street.
噢
Oh.
噢 拜托 这也太明显了吧
Oh, come on. How obvious is this?
不 不是的 他太
No, it’s not… He’s totally…
这一天下来确实挺累的
It’s a long… It’s been a long day.
是啊
Yeah.
你是要跟我约会吗
Are you asking me on a date?
是的
Yes, I am.
准备好了就到隔壁来接我
Pick me up next door when you’re ready.
兄弟
Dude!
你刚刚就像詹姆斯·邦德
You were like James Bond there.
这是我所见过的最牛逼的事了
That was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
加油 兄弟 来一个 击个掌吧
Come on, man. Give me a… Give me a little sugar. Give it up.
我们这类人不击掌
My people don’t high-five.
相信我 这比做手势引号♥还要糟糕
Trust me, it’s worse than the air quotes.
来嘛 别让我一直举着手
Come on. Don’t leave me hanging.
没错 确实很糟糕 你说得没错
Yeah, no. That… You’re… That was terrible. You were right.
要帅气潇洒 本 你懂不
Handsome and cool, Ben. You got it?
行
Right.
你走之前 先吃点药吧
I’m just gonna give you your medicines before you go.
-什么 -没什么
– What? – Nothing.
什么叫没什么 怎么了
What do you mean, nothing? What is it?
-本 发生什么了 -没事儿
– Ben, what is it? – Nothing.
呃
Uh…
噢 操
Oh, shit.
怎么了
What?
呃
Uh…
我 我♥操♥
Shi… Shit.
本 到底怎么了 怎么回事儿
Ben, what the fuck? What is it?
呃
Um…
我好像把你的药落在之前那家旅馆了
I think I left your medicines in the other hotel.
还有呼吸机 我把它跟药放一起了
With the C-pap machine. They were all together.
噢 操
Oh, fuck.
你♥他♥妈♥在逗我吗
Are you fucking kidding me?
这不是面霜好吗 我需要那东西才能活下去
That’s not a face cream, okay? I need that shit to live.
我知道 我知道 我知道 呃
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. It’s, um…
呃 操 你知道
Uh… Shit, you know…
-噢 操 -听着 没事儿的 没关系的 好吗
– Oh, fuck. – Listen, it’s fine. It’s fine, all right?
我马上打电♥话♥给24小时药房♥
I’m gonna call a 24-hour pharmacy and I’m gonna…
没用的 我们现在在一个穷乡僻壤 哪有这东西 噢 操
No, we’re in Podunk U.S.A. They’re not gonna have shit. Oh, fuck.
-我就知道你早晚会害了我 -不是的
– I knew one of your spells would kill me. – No, it’s not…
噢 操 操 操 操
Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
对不起 听着 我真的很抱歉 好吗
I’m sorry. Look, I’m really sorry, all right?
我不知道发生了什么
– I don’t know what happened.
我知道怎么回事儿 你就是个傻♥逼♥
– I know what happened. You’re an idiot.
-你♥他♥妈♥傻♥逼♥ -不是的
– You’re a fucking idiot. – I’m not.
我不是 好吗 我不傻
I’m not, all right? I’m not an idiot.
宝宝那是搞笑
I’m… hilarious.
噢 我手都麻了
Oh… Oh, my hands are numb.
你在跟我开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
你在这个时候来搞恶作剧
This is when you decide to play the prank?
我准备去第一次约会唉
When I’m about to go on my first date?
这样更有趣一点嘛
I… It just seemed funnier that way.
我同意
Agreed.
我跟你说过 我只和混♥蛋♥约会
I told you, I only date assholes.
你是说过 但我不是混♥蛋♥
Yes. And I’m not an asshole.
既然你想跟混♥蛋♥约会 而我又故意不当混♥蛋♥
And since you want an asshole, my not being an asshole
从这点来看
makes me more of an asshole
我比你交往过的人还混♥蛋♥
than the assholes that you normally date,
因为他们至少给了你想要的东西
because they’re giving you exactly what you want,
然而 我没有成为你想交往的混♥蛋♥
whereas I, by not being an asshole, am not.
这就是我的混♥蛋♥之处了
Which makes me an asshole.
简直不敢相信我竟然听懂了
I can’t believe I actually understood that.
-嗨 -嗨
– Hi. – Hi.
我醒了
I woke up.
-我能进来吗 -嗯 可以啊
– May I come in? – Yeah, sure.
我刚刚
I was just, uh…
坐这儿
Here.
谢谢
Thank you.
他们很甜蜜
They’re really sweet.
是啊
Yeah.
宝宝埃尔顿在踢我 你要感受一下吗
Baby’s Elton’s kicking. You wanna feel him?
噢 不了 谢谢 没关系的
– Oh, no, thanks, that’s… That’s okay…
噢 感受一下嘛 他想跟你打招呼
– Oh, come on, he wants to say hi.
这 我不
It’s… I don’t… I…
多多跟我说了你的事
Dot told me about you.
是吗
She did?
为人父母是什么感觉
What’s it like being a parent?
你所听过的一切关于为人父母的陈词滥调
Every corny thing you’ve ever heard about having a kid
都是完完全全真实的
is completely and utterly true.
这就是我们在这儿的唯一原因
It’s the only reason we’re here.
-嘿 明天见 -嗯
– Hey. See you tomorrow. – Yeah.
约会怎么样
How was it?
她不让我吃华夫饼
She didn’t let me eat waffles.
你没吃华夫饼吗 那你吃了什么
No? What’d you have?
法式吐司
French toast.
今晚不用吧
Not tonight.
好吧
All right.
准备好了吗
You ready?
嗨 需要销♥售♥人员为您服务吗
Hi. May I find you a salesman?
对 我的这位朋友来找鲍勃·理查德森
Uh, yeah, my friend here is looking for Bob Richardson.
他现在有空吗
Is he available?
-要不我们给您找另一位销♥售♥人员吧 -我们就要鲍勃
– Why don’t I get you one of our salesmen. – We need Bob.
告诉他 特雷弗找他
Tell him it’s Trevor.
如果他没有想起来 就说特雷弗是坐轮椅的那个
And if that doesn’t jog his memory, say, “He’s in a wheelchair.”
如果他还没想起来 就说特雷弗是你儿子
And if that doesn’t jog his memory, say, “He’s your son.”
要是还想不起来
And if that doesn’t jog his memory,
就跟他说 你就是个彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥
say, “You’re an enormous dick.”
不如就直接这么说吧
Actually, just say that anyway.
我马上回来
I will be right back.
好的
Okay.
就给他一次机会吧
Just give him a chance.
这边请
Right this way.
鲍勃马上就过来
Bob will be with you in just a minute.
嘿 特雷弗 真是个 大惊喜啊
Hey, Trevor. This is a… nice surprise.