法兰西特派（2021）

法兰西派
它开始于一个假期
It began as a holiday.
小亚瑟·榴弹炮 大学新生
Arthur Howitzer, Jr., college freshman,
渴望逃离大平原上光明的未来
eager to escape a bright future on the Great Plains,
说服了他的父亲堪萨斯晚报自♥由♥号♥的所有者
convinced his father, proprietor of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun,
资助他的跨大西洋旅行作为一个教育机会
to fund his transatlantic passage as an educational opportunity
学习家族企业
to learn the family business
通过制♥作♥一系列游记专栏
through the production of a series of travelogue columns
将在《星期日野餐》杂♥志♥上为当地读者出版
to be published for local readers in the Sunday Picnic magazine.
在接下来的十年里他组建了一个团队
Over the next ten years, he assembled a team
他那个时代最优秀的外籍记者
of the best expatriate journalists of his time
把《野餐》变成了《法国快报》
and transformed Picnic into The French Dispatch,
关于世界政♥治♥主题的每周实况报道
a factual weekly report on the subjects of world politics,
艺术高低贵贱时尚美食美酒
the arts, high and low, fashion, fancy cuisine, fine drink,
以及以遥远的四重奏为背景的各种人类兴趣故事
and diverse stories of human interests set in faraway quartiers.
他把世界带到了堪萨斯州
He brought the world to Kansas.
他的作家是美国所有优秀图书馆的中坚力量
His writers line the spines of every good American library.
贝伦森
Berensen,
萨泽拉克鸡尾酒
Sazerac,
克莱门茨
Krementz,
罗巴克·赖特
Roebuck Wright.
一名记者被誉为当今最优秀的作家
One reporter known as the best living writer
每分钟的句子质量
in quality of sentences per minute.
从未完成一篇文章的人
One who never completed a single article,
但三十年来一直在大厅里兴高采烈地出没
but haunted the halls cheerily for three decades.
一个通过别人的眼睛敏锐地写作的盲人作家
One privately blind writer who wrote keenly through the eyes of others.
无可争议的语法专家
The uncontested crackerjack of grammatical expertise.
爱马仕·琼斯的封面插图
Cover illustrations by Hermes Jones.
对他的作家以亲切著称
Famously gracious with his writers,
小阿瑟对杂♥志♥的其他工作人员不太礼貌
Arthur Jr. was less courteous with the rest of the magazine’s staff.
哦不那是什么
Oh, no, what’s that?
我需要一只火鸡
I need a turkey.
塞满所有的配料和香客放在桌子上烤着吃
Stuffed and roasted on a table with all the trimmings and pilgrims!
他的财政管理系统错综复杂但却运转正常
His fiscal management system was convoluted but functional.
在接下来的15年里每周给她150法郎
Give her 150 francs a week for the next 15 years
每字5美分减去费用
against five American cents per word, minus expenses.
他最常重复的文学建议也许是不真实的就是这个
His most repeated literary advice, perhaps apocryphal, was simply this…
试着让它听起来像是你故意这样写的
Just try to make it sound like you wrote it that way on purpose.
他在离开50年后回到了自♥由♥
His return to Liberty comes precisely 50 years after his departure,
在他的葬礼上
on the occasion of his funeral,
杂♥志♥发行量超过
by which time the magazine’s circulation exceeds
50个国家的50万用户
half a million subscribers in 50 countries.
一个柳编篮子里面装着无数别针饰板和官方引文
A willow hamper containing umpteen pins, plaques, and official citations
最重要的是葬在他的身边
of the highest order is buried at his side,
还有安德烈蒂的丝带伴侣
along with an Andretti Ribbon-mate
和一令三重债券埃及棉花打字股票
and a ream of triple bond, Egyptian cotton typing stock.
他受到了编辑的安葬
He received an Editor’s burial.
他在遗嘱中规定
In his will, he stipulated that
他死后引用
immediately upon his death, quote…
压机将被拆除并液化
The presses will be dismantled and liquefied.
编辑部将被腾空并出♥售♥
The editorial offices will be vacated and sold.
员工将获得丰厚的奖金并解除合同
The staff will be paid ample bonuses and released from their contracts,
该杂♥志♥将永久停刊
and the publication of the magazine will permanently cease.
因此
Thus,
出版商的讣告也将作为本出版物的讣告
the publisher’s obituary will also serve as that of this publication.
当然所有送货上门的阅读器都将按比例退款
All home delivery readers will, of course, be refunded, pro rata
他们订阅的未完成部分
for the unfulfilled portion of their subscriptions.
他的墓志铭将从模板上一字不差地抄下来
His epitaph will be taken verbatim from the stenciled shingle
固定在他内部办公室的门上
fixed above the door of his inner office.
贝伦森的文章混凝土杰作
Berensen’s article. The Concrete Masterpiece.
三个悬空分词两个分♥裂♥不定式
Three dangling participles, two split infinitives
仅第一句就有九个拼写错误
and nine spelling errors in the first sentence alone.
其中一些是故意的
Some of those are intentional.
《宣言》的修订版
The Krementz story, Revisions to a Manifesto.
我们要求2500字她以14000字回答
We asked for 2,500 words, and she came in at 14,000,
加上脚注尾注词汇表和两个结语
plus footnotes, endnotes, a glossary, and two epilogues.
这是她最好的作品之一
It’s one of her best.
萨泽拉克 -不可能核实事实
Sazerac? Impossible to fact-check.
他改了所有的名字只写流浪汉皮条客和瘾君子
He changes all the names and only writes about hobos, pimps, and junkies.
这些是他的人
These are his people.
罗巴克·赖特怎么样
How about Roebuck Wright?
他的门是锁着的但我能听到钥匙发出的噼啪声
His door’s locked, but I could hear the keys clacking.
别催他
Don’t rush him.
问题是谁会被杀
The question is, who gets killed?
即使我们再版一♥期♥也有一篇
There’s one piece too many even if we print another double-issue,
这是我们在任何情况下都不能影响的
which we can’t afford under any circumstances.
工头的口信 还有一个小时
A message from the foreman. One hour to press.
你被解雇了
You’re fired.
真的吗
Really?
不要在我的办公室哭
Don’t cry in my office.
缩小刊头剪一些广♥告♥告诉工头多买♥♥些纸
Shrink the masthead, cut some ads, and tell the foreman to buy more paper.
我没有杀人
I’m not killing anybody.
好作家他溺爱他们
Good writers. He coddled them.
他哄着他们 他残忍♥地保护他们
He coaxed them. He ferociously protected them.
你怎么想呢
What do you think?
为了我自己
For myself?
我会从萨泽拉克先生开始
I would start with Mr. Sazerac.
这些是他的人
These were his people.
无聊在星期一突然升起
Ennui rises suddenly on a Monday.
通过诗歌♥许可的时间机器
Through the time machine of poetic license,
让我们去观光旅游
let us take a sight-seeing tour.
250年间无聊的一天
A day in Ennui over the course of 250 years.
这座大城市最初是一群商人的村庄
The great city began as a cluster of tradesmen’s villages.
只有名字保持不变
Only the names remain unchanged.
布斯布莱克区
The Bootblack District.
瓦工区
The Bricklayer’s Quarter.
屠夫的拱廊
The Butcher’s Arcade.
挑袋死胡同
Pick-pocket Cul-de-Sac.
在这个网站上一个虚构的市场
On this site, a fabled market,
出♥售♥各种食品和食品
vending all forms of victuals and comestibles
在一个巨大的玻璃和铸铁的树冠下
under a single vast, glass-and-cast-iron canopy,
如你所见后来被拆除了
later demolished, as you can see,
支持多层次的购物中心和停车场结构
in favor of a multi-level shopping center and parking structure.
像每个活着的城市一样
Like every living city,
Ennui支持一群害虫和拾荒者
Ennui supports a menagerie of vermin and scavengers.
占据其地下铁路的老鼠
The rats which colonized its subterranean railroad.
占据倾斜屋顶的猫
The cats which colonized its slanty rooftops.
定居于其浅排水道的鳗苗
The anguillettes which colonized its shallow drainage canals.
在接待了东道主劫掠唱诗班之后
After receiving the Host, marauding choirboys,
半醉在基♥督♥的血中跟踪粗心的养老金领♥取♥者
half-drunk on the Blood of Christ, stalk unwary pensioners
寻求破坏
and seek havoc.
在翻牌圈学生们
In the Flop Quarter, students.
饥饿不安鲁莽
Hungry, restless, reckless.
在霍维尔区
In the Hovel District,
老年人
old people.
失败的老人
Old people who have failed.
汽车
The automobile.
喜忧参半一方面
A mixed blessing. On the one hand,
鸣笛声打滑声加速溅射声和逆火声
the honking, skidding, speeding, sputtering, and backfiring.
有毒烟气的排放和污浊的废气污染
The emission of toxic fumes and filthy exhaust-pollution,
危险的事故不断的交通高
the dangerous accidents, the constant traffic, the high…
操
Fuck!
地方统♥计♥局♥
Department of Local Statistics.
平均降雨量750毫米
Average rainfall, 750 millimeters.
平均降雪量19万片
Average snowfall, 190,000 flakes.
每周都有八点二五的紧身胸衣从布拉塞河中抽出
Eight-point-two-five bodies are pulled from the Blase river each week.
尽管人口增长这个数字仍然保持不变
A figure which remains consistent despite population growth
以及健康和卫生方面的进步
and advances in health and hygiene.
当太阳落山时一群未登记的街头行人混杂在一起
As the sun sets, a medley of unregistered streetwalkers
小白脸取代了送货员和店主
and gigolos replaces the day’s delivery boys and shopkeepers,
混乱的气氛充斥着整个时间