星运里的错（2014）

否则我不会原谅你
I will never forgive you if you call them.
古斯 你在这做什么?
Gus, what are you doing here?
你在这里做什么?
What are you doing here?
我想要买♥♥香烟
I wanted to buy cigarettes.
原本那包不知道哪去了
I don’t know what happened to my pack.
可能弄丢了
I might have lost it or something,
或是被拿走了…
or they took it, but I just…
但我只想自己做点小事
I wanted to do something for myself, you know?
我想自己做
I wanted to do it myself.
– 我得打九一一 – 不
– I have to call 9-1-1. – No!
我一定要打
I have to.
不
No!
九一一吗? 请派救护车
Hi, 9-1-1? Um, we need an ambulance.
我好恨我自己!
I hate myself!
我叫海瑟·葛蕾丝·兰卡斯特
My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster.
请快点
Please hurry.
我们在加油站的银色吉普车上
We’re in a silver Jeep at the gas station.
真希望我能说古斯始终维持幽默感
I wish I could say that Augustus Waters
始终维持幽默感
kept his sense of humor until the end.
每一刻他的勇气都没有动摇
That not for a single moment did his courage waver.
但事实并非如此
But that is not what happened.
疼死我了
It hurts so much.
我真蠢
I’m so stupid.
宝贝 没事 没事
Baby, it’s okay. It’s okay.
海瑟?
Hazel?
你能给我讲个故事吗?
Will you tell me a story?
故事?
A story?
或者一首诗?
Or, like, a poem?
我不知道…我…我知道一首诗
I do know… I… I know a poem.
能读给我吗?
Will you tell me it?
威廉卡洛斯威廉斯的《红色手推车》
The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams.
“那么多地依靠 一辆红色的手推车
“So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow
“雨水使它晶莹明亮
“Glazed with rain water
“旁边有几只白色的小鸡”
“beside the white chickens.”
就这些? 没了?
That’s it? Is that all?
不 不 当然不是 当然不是
No, no, no, of course not. Of course not.
“那么多地依靠…蓝色的天空
“So much depends upon… A blue sky
“被树枝分隔开
“Cut open by the branches of trees
“那么多地依靠… 那根透明的胃管
“And so much depends upon the… The transparent G-tube
“从青紫色嘴唇男孩的 肚子里伸出来
“erupting from the belly of the blue-lipped boy
“那么多地依靠
“So much depends
“这个世界的旁观者”
“on this observer of the universe”
他的情况如何?
How’s he doing?
他昨晚很难熬 海瑟
He’s had a tough night, Hazel.
血压很低
His blood pressure’s low.
他的心脏…
His heart…
那么化疗呢?
What about the chemo?
医生要停止化疗了
They are gonna stop the chemo.
我能见他吗?
Can I see him?
我们会告诉他你在这
We’ll tell him you were here.
– 好 – 好
– Yeah. – Okay.
好
Yeah.
你不介意的话我再待一下
I’m just gonna hang out for a while, if you don’t mind.
没问题
Yeah, of course.
慢慢来
Take your time.
来吧 儿子
Here we go, bud.
– 行吗? – 好了
– Good? – All right, sweetie.
走吧
Okay.
嗨
Hi.
你在想什么?
What are you thinking about?
被遗忘
Oblivion.
我知道这样很孩子气 不过…
I know it’s kid’s stuff or whatever, but…
我总以为我会成为英雄
I always thought I would be a hero.
我以为我能留下伟大的故事
I always thought I’d have a grand story to tell.
像是可以刊登在报纸上之类的…
You know, something they would publish in all the papers, and…
我以为自己很特别
I mean, I was supposed to be special.
你是很特别 奥古斯都
You are special, Augustus.
我懂 可是…
Yeah, I know. But…
你知道我的意思
you know what I mean.
我懂你的意思 只是我不同意
I do know what you mean, I just don’t agree with you.
老是执着于想要被人记住?
You know this obsession you have with being remembered?
– 别生气 – 我很生气
– Don’t get mad. – I am mad.
因为我觉得你特别 这还不够?
I’m mad because I think you’re special. And is that not enough?
你认为唯一有意义的人生…
You think that the only way to lead a meaningful life…
是被大家记得 被所有人喜爱
is for everyone to remember you, for everyone to love you.
但这就是你的人生 好吧?
Guess what, Gus. This is your life, okay?
这就是你的全部
This is all you get.
你有我 有你的家人
You get me, and you get your family,
和这世界
and you get this world, and that’s it.
若还不够
And if that’s not enough for you,
抱歉 但这些绝非虚幻
then I’m sorry, but it’s not nothing.
因为我爱你
Because I love you.
我也会记得你
And I’m gonna remember you.
抱歉 你说得对
I’m sorry. You’re right.
希望你能因此感到开心
I just wish you would be happy with that.
嘿
Hey-
我的人生很棒 海瑟·葛蕾丝
It’s a good life, Hazel Grace.
又还没有结束
It’s not over yet, you know.
奥古斯都
Oh, Augustus.
癌症惯例中没那么蠢的一项…
One of the less bullshitty conventions of the cancer genre…
是”最后的好日子”…
is the convention known as the “Last Good Day”…
消耗过程似乎突然趋于平稳
when it seems like the inexorable decline has suddenly plateaued…
痛苦有片刻变得可以忍♥受
when the pain is, just for a minute, bearable.
问题是病患无从得知…
The problem, of course, is that there’s no way of knowing…
这是不是真正最后的好日子
that your last good day is your last good day.
只觉得这是一般的日子
At the time, it’s just another decent day.
嗨 奥古斯都
Hello, Augustus.
晚安 海瑟·葛蕾丝
Good evening, Hazel Grace.
问你个问题
A quick question for you.
写好我请你准备的悼词了吗?
Did you ever write that eulogy I asked you to prepare?
奥古斯都
写好了
I may have.
你能马上来一趟…
Do you think you could find your way down…
名副其实的耶稣之心吗?
to the literal Heart of Jesus in the next few minutes?
可以吧 怎么了吗?
Maybe. ls everything okay?
我爱你 海瑟·葛蕾丝
I love you, Hazel Grace.
给我车钥匙好吗?
Can I have the keys? Oh.
– 你要去哪? 要吃晚餐了 – 我得出门
– Where you going? We’re gonna eat something. – I have to go.
海瑟 你饿了吧 你连午餐都没吃
Hazel, you have to be hungry. You didn’t even eat lunch.
我不饿
I’m just not hungry.
海瑟 你必须吃东西
Hazel, you cannot not eat.
我吃不下
I’m aggressively un-hungry.
我知道古斯病了 但你要照顾自己
Hazel, I know Gus is sick, but you got to take care of yourself.
这跟古斯无关
This has nothing to do with Gus.
你得保持健康
Well, then you’ve got to stay healthy.
拜托 吃点东西吧
Come on, just eat something, honey.
“保持健康”?
“Stay healthy”?
我根本就不健康 我快死了
Okay, I’m not healthy, and I’m gonna die.
懂吗? 我快死了 留你在这…
Do you realize that? I’m dying, and you’re gonna be here…
到时没有其他人能让你照顾
and you’re not gonna have anyone to look after, or hover around…
你也不再是个母亲 我很抱歉
and you’re not gonna be a mother anymore, and I’m sorry…
但我也无能为力
but there’s nothing I can do about that.
请问我能出门吗?
So, can I please go?
你怎么会这么说?
Why would you say that to me?
因为你自己说过
Because you said that.
你在说什么?
What are you talking about?
在加护病房♥
In the ICU.
海瑟…
Hazel…
那不是事实 我错了
That’s not the truth. I was wrong.
好吗?
All right?
假使你死了…