and see if she’d be willing to meet you?
-你认真的么 我绝不会那么干的 -为什么不
Are you serious? I would never do that. Why not?
我会惶恐之极的 怎么 你会那样干吗
I would be terrified. Why, would you do that?
如果我是你 嗯 我会的
If I were you, yeah, I would do that.
跟艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特约个会 我该说些什么好啊
A date with Alanis Morissette? What would I say?
“你好 莫莉塞特小姐 成为你
“Hello, Miss Morissette.
是一种什么样的体验”
What is it like to be you?”
“我不知道
“I don’t know.
闭嘴 给我滚开”
Shut up and get the fuck away from me.”
这就是你喜欢的那种美妙而尖促的嗓音
That’s that beautiful squeaky voice you like.
没错 并且充满情欲
That’s right. And orgasmic.
但如果她打给你 你会去的吧
But you would go if she called you.
“嘿 戴夫 我在芝加哥的德雷克酒店
“Hey, Dave, I’m at the Drake in Chicago.
来喝杯茶吧”
Let’s have tea.”
旁人一定会觉得很可笑
This is gonna look ridiculous.
好像我在利用《滚石》
It’s gonna look like I’m using Rolling Stone…
作为通向…
as a vehicle to, like…
-有人派过更糟糕的用场 -是的 我会答应的
-It’s been used for worse. -Yes, I would do it.
-行了吧 我会答应的 想都不用想 -很好
Okay? I would do it in a heartbeat. Good.
尽管我会止不住的满头大汗
Perspiring heavily the whole way,
-时刻不停往嘴里塞薄荷糖 -一点没错
the whole time shoving Certs into my mouth. Exactly.
崩溃到一个星期都缓不过来
Freaking out. It would cause me a week of absolute trauma.
但 是的 我会去的 毫不犹豫
And, yes, I would do it in a… in a heartbeat.
-满意了吧 -记下没
Okay? Are you happy? We got that?
-已经录下来了 -好的
It’s on the record. Okay.
唔
Um…
我喜欢…额
I like… Eh.
跟你聊这些我很愉快
I like talking to you about this stuff.
但我们应该…明天我们得早起
But we should… We gotta be up early.
是吗 几点了 快10点了吗
Really? What time is it? It’s, like, 10:00.
应该快11点半了 浆糊脑袋
I think it’s, like, 11:30, dick brain.
噢 糟糕 老天 很抱歉
Oh, shit. Jesus. I am so sorry.
我完全忘记看时间了
I totally lost track of time.
你想我明早几点来接你
What time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?
你是要去哪儿
Where you going?
路边有个小旅店 大概是戴斯酒店
There’s a motel down the road. I think it’s a Days Inn.
哦不 信我 你不会想要住那儿的
Oh, no, you don’t want to stay there. Trust me.
我有间类似客房♥的地方 你可以过夜
I got a guest-roomish place you could stay in.
不了 我不想打扰
No, I don’t want to impose.
不用谢我 不是什么高级地方
Don’t thank me. It’s not much.
好的
Okay.
不 挺好的 谢谢
No, it’s great. Thank you.
我多半应该把床上这些鬼玩意儿清掉
I should probably clean some of that shit off the bed.
-好 -让你尽可能舒适点
Right. Maximum comfort.
谢谢
Thanks.
肯定想把床单换了是吧
Definitely want to change that sheet.
不 挺好的 谢谢
No, it’s fine. Thank you.
-就随便丢哪儿吧 -好的 给你
Just throw it wherever. Okay. Here you go.
-抓好这头 -好的 谢谢
Grab one side of this. All right, thanks.
你想换掉这些枕头还是留着它们
And you want to change the pillows or just keep them?
你不会染上什么顽疾的
I don’t think you’re going to catch anything incurable.
-没事儿 -而且我有青霉素
That’s all right. I got penicillin.
-好了 你没问题吧 -嗯
Okay. You’re good? Yeah.
帮我个忙 给狗留个门别关
Do me a favor. Leave the door open for the dogs.
他们夜里喜欢在各个房♥间跑来跑去
They like to wander from room to room at night.
如果门关了他们就会想尽办法要进去
If the door’s closed,
哪怕吃了这扇门也在所不惜
they’ll eat it to get through it if they have to.
-没开玩笑吧 -真的
-Are you serious? -Yeah.
-好的 -好 晚安
Okay, yeah. Okay. Good night.
-晚安 谢谢 -好的
Good night. Thanks. Cool.
噢 好吧
Oh. All right.
嘿 小家伙 哈 你好吗
Hey, buddy. Okay. How are ya?
好的 嘿 噢 好吧
Okay. Hey. Oh. All right.
嘘 好了
Psst! Okay.
好的 谢谢 好吧
All right. Thanks. Okay.
好的 好吧 晚安
All right. Okay. Have a good night.
好了
Okay.
噢 嘿
Oh. Hey.
如果你需要 那儿有咖啡
If you want any, there’s coffee.
我不需要咖♥啡♥因♥来醒神
I don’t need caffeine to wake up.
噢 不过 能来根香烟么
Oh, but, uh, cigarettes?
-烟友哈 -唔
Brothers of the lung. Mmm.
要不要跟我分一下 这是我最后一块了
Do you want to split this with me? It’s my last one.
额 不了 谢谢
Uh, no, thanks.
就 拿去吧
Just… Here.
我的小馅饼儿就是你的小馅饼儿
Mi Pop-Tart es su Pop-Tart.
-谢谢 -尝尝
Thanks. Try it.
好吃吧
It’s delicious, right?
非常的
It’s really good.
那儿有三菱的厂子
There’s a Mitsubishi plant.
有些农业相关的公♥司♥
Then there’s a lot of farm support.
Ro-tech啊 安德森种子公♥司♥啊
There’s Ro-Tech, Anderson Seeds.
你为什么窝在这儿 为什么不去纽约
What are you doing here? I mean, why are you not in New York?
每次我去纽约 都会被卷入那种…
Every time I go to New York, I get caught up in this…
就像是…一水儿的自负与自谪
There’s this enormous hiss of egos
随各自的境遇而交错起伏 如风箱般
at various states of inflation
发出巨大的嘶嘶声
and deflation.
嗯 啊 抱歉 我必须得打开这个…
Yeah. Hey, um, sorry. I gotta do this.
行
Okay.
我得问问 这头巾是什么情况
So, I gotta ask. What is with the bandanna?
啥 什么意思
What? What do you mean?
人们觉得你想通过这种方式
No, people think it’s your way of connecting
拉近与年轻些的读者的距离
to a younger reading audience.
人家是这么想的吗
Is that what people think?
老天 我觉得没有多少X世代的人戴头巾啊
I don’t see many Gen Xers wearing them. Geez.
我有点希望你没提起过这茬 老兄
I kinda wish you hadn’t brought this up, man.
抱歉 为什么
I’m sorry about that. Why?
因为现在我会担心这显得太刻意了
Because now I’m worried it’s going to seem intentional.
比方说 如果我不戴头巾了 究竟是因为…
Like, if I don’t wear it, am I not wearing it…
我害怕这被看作”商业抉择”了
because I’m bowing to other people’s perception that it’s a commercial choice?
还是因为我就是不想戴
Or do I do what I wanna
如果别人觉得这是”商业抉择” 那就随便他们去了
do even though it’s perceived as a commercial choice?
这个疯狂的大圈子够我绕的了
It’s like a whole crazy circle I gotta go around in now.
-真是的 -抱歉
Come on. Sorry.
你什么时候开始戴头巾的
When did you start wearing them?
在图森 那儿天天都38度以上
In Tucson. It was, like, a hundred degrees all the time.
我汗出得太厉害 都滴进电动打字机里去了
I would perspire so heavily, drip into the electric typewriter.
怕会电到自己 所以戴了头巾
I was nervous I was gonna give myself a shock.
后来某一刻我意识到 戴着它让我感觉更好
And then, at some point, I realized I felt better with them on.
每当紧张时 我会想到我有这个安全毯
I know that it’s a security blanket for me whenever I feel nervous…
或是提醒自己要振作起来
or, like, I gotta keep myself together.
人们竟会把它视作一种装腔 或是一种身份认证什么的
Makes me feel kind of creepy, people view it as an affectation…
令我有点不寒而栗
or a trademark or something.
这更像是个小怪癖
It’s more of a foible,
证明我有一个弱点
the recognition of a weakness
就是怕自己的脑袋会爆掉
that I’m kind of afraid my head is gonna explode.
好吧
Right.
你父母都是搞学术的 没错吧
Your parents are both academics. Is that right?
我爸 哲学系 我妈 英语系
My dad, philosophy. My mom, English.
那么 你呢
So. You?
-我 -是啊
Me? Yeah.
我爸是做广♥告♥行当的 我妈是个画家
My dad is in advertising, and my mom’s a painter.
他们分居以后 我跟着我妈搬去SoHo
When they split up, I moved in with her to SoHo,
我兄弟随我爸住
and my brother moved in with my dad.
听起来背后有个故事啊
Sounds like there’s a story there.
是有 我最近刚写成文字
Oh, there is. I… I just wrote it.
在这种分♥裂♥的家里长大 是什么样的感觉
What was it like, you know, growing up in a house divided like that?
嘿 到底是谁在采访谁啊
Hey. Who’s interviewing who?
你是从几岁开始写小说的
How old were you when you started writing fiction?
大概 21岁左右吧
Like, 21. Something like that.
真的吗 以前从没写过吗