独裁者（2012）

No, no, no, it’s more of a power trip with me.
每个人都明码标价
Everybody has a price.
20万美元
Tommy Lee Jones
汤米·李·琼斯的家伙
let me roll it in my fingers
就能在我手里滚来滚去
for two hundred grand!
我的天 太疯狂了
Oh, my gosh, that was so crazy!
很荣幸我能帮你
I am so honored to be able to help you.
终于有人知道我是谁了
Finally, somebody who knows who I am.
是的 当然
Yeah, of course!
你是瓦迪亚的反对派
You’re the Wadiyan dissident
勇敢地反抗混♥蛋♥阿♥拉♥丁
who was standing up to that asshole Aladeen.
你太勇敢了
It was so brave of you.
我叫佐伊
My name is Zoey.
关我什么事
I don’t care.
你叫什么
What’s yours?
我叫阿♥拉♥…森
My name is Ala… son.
艾利森?
Allison?
对 艾利森.
Right. Allison.
你姓什么
What’s your last name?
伯格斯
Burgers.
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you,
艾利森·伯格斯
Allison Burgers.
你知道 我…
You know, I…
艾利森
Allison,
麻烦你把手从我胸前拿开
could you please take your hands off my breasts?
那是你的胸
Those are breasts?
我以为你是男的
I thought you were a boy.
你要把我带到哪里
Where are you taking me to?
布鲁克林
To Brooklyn!
好了 这是我的店
So, yeah, this is my store!
这里是自♥由♥地球团
This is the Free Earth Collective.
我们是主张素食和男女平等的
We are a vegan, feminist,
非营利性合作社
non-profit cooperative
在反种族主义和反压♥迫♥的框架下运行
operating within an anti-racist, anti-oppressive framework
为了所有人♥民♥ 不分性别
for people of all or no genders.
我们是纯粹的民♥主♥
We are a pure democracy,
瓦迪亚很快也会变成这样
just like Wadiya’s going to be soon!
给我些衣服 小男人
Get me clothes, little man.
那个
Oh, you know what,
地震救济箱里有衣服
there’s some in the Earthquake Relief box
在女同性恋浴室
in the lesbian bathroom,
在那儿
right there.
好的
Right.
艾利森
So, Allison,
我们是纽约唯一一家
we’re the only store in New York,
出♥售♥你们国家特产水果刺果的商店
other than that fascist super chain Green World,
除了那个法♥西♥斯♥式的超级连锁店
that sells your nation’s specialty fruit,
绿色世界
mafroom,
我知道你们爱吃刺果
which I know you people eat a lot of.
希望那不会成为一种固定的文化模式
Oh, I hope that didn’t come off like a cultural stereotype.
因为我绝对不是个种族主义者
Because I’m, like, the furthest thing from a racist.
高中开始我的男朋友
I pretty much haven’t had a white boyfriend
就基本上都不是白种人了
since high school.
是啊 有色人种都不怎么挑剔
Well, the darker races are less choosy.
这话听起来有些无礼
Okay, that came off as kind of offensive.
多谢夸奖
Thank you.
好吧 我带你参观一下吧
Anyway, let me give you the grand tour.
楼顶有一个神奇的有机花♥园♥…
Up on the roof, we have this amazing organic garden…
无聊 你们卖♥♥冲♥锋♥枪♥吗
Boring! Do you sell any assault rifles?
等等 我知道了
Oh, wait. I got it.
幽默 对吗
Humor. Right?
我参加过女权主义小丑讲习班
I took a feminist clown workshop once.
救命 救命
Help! Help!
我困在玻璃屋顶下面了
I’m trapped under a glass ceiling!
什么玩意儿
What the fuck?
我学得不是很好 但是…
I wasn’t the best student, but…
地下室有个健康中心
We’ve got this wellness center downstairs in the basement,
我们在那里做水下分娩
where we do water birth.
你见过水下分娩吗
Have you ever seen a water birth?
没见过水下分娩
Not a water birth,
只见过水下死亡
but I’ve seen a water death.
很感动吗
Wow. Was it moving?
其实不怎么动
There was actually very little movement.
稍微扭几下 冒两个泡泡
A little wriggling, then two bubbles,
然后一阵咕噜咕噜
and then a big bloop
钱包就浮上来了
and the wallet floats up.
你看着像受过教育的
You seem educated.
是啊 我上的阿默斯特学院
Yes. I went to Amherst.
我喜欢女人上学
I love it when women go to school.
就像欣赏穿轮滑鞋的猴子
It’s like seeing a monkey on roller skates.
对它们来说没什么
It means nothing to them,
我们却觉得太可爱了
but it’s so adorable for us.
好了 艾利森
Okay. Well, hey, Allison,
只要你愿意
you know, we’d love to have you work here
欢迎来这里工作
if you ever wanted to.
我们所有的雇员都跟你一样
All of our employees are political refugees,
是政♥治♥难民
just like you!
这是汉娜
There’s Hannah over here.
她来自萨尔瓦多
She’s from El Salvador.
是我们团队中非常能干的成员
She’s a really useful member of our team.
能干什么 当衣架
Useful as what? A coat hanger?
是吧
Come on.
艾利森 这不好笑
Allison, that’s not funny.
好的 我跟你说
Okay. I tell you what,
回去干活儿 铁钩船长
get back to work, Captain Hook!
铁钩船长 真好笑
“Captain Hook.” It’s funny.
不 这不好笑
No, it’s not funny.
那是谁
Who’s that?
这是约特弗
Oh, this is Joteph.
他来自苏丹部族
He’s from a Sudanese tribe
那里没有钱的概念
that has no concept of money.
他的村子被洗劫一空
His entire village was ransacked.
南撒哈拉人
Hey, Sub-Saharan!
你能不能在下午五点之前
Do you think you could
给我找来100个童子军
get me 100 child soldiers here by 5:00 PM?
不能
No!
好了 时间到
Okay. Time out! Time out.
刮刮你的腋毛
Shave your under-the-arms!
真不敢想象你下面会是怎样的杂草丛生啊
I dread to think what kind of jungle you have on your malawach!
这样说话太不恰当了
That is very inappropriate.
别告诉我该说什么
Don’t tell me what to say
不该说什么 小子
and what not to say, little boy.
把你的手指拿开
You need to put that finger away.
我不把手指拿开是因为
I won’t put my finger away because
看吧 现在我有两根手指了
Look, I’ve got two fingers now.
好吧
Okay.
如果你不停止对我们恶言相向
If you do not stop using hateful language,
就不能在这里工作
you cannot work here.
好吧 我保证
All right. I promise.
好
Okay.
骗你的 你个金刚兰
I tricked you, Wolverina.
肥胖版贾斯汀·比伯
Justin Bieber’s chubby double!
毛利·波特
Hairy Potter!
再见了 老朋友
Good-bye, old friend.
最高领袖什么时候能康复
When will the Supreme Leader be better?
到时候就好了
In time.
他在自己卧室休息
He’s resting in his bedroom
决不允许被打扰
and must never, ever be disturbed.
睡觉了
Time for bed.
作为阿♥拉♥丁是有特权的
Being Aladeen has its perks,
不是吗