独裁者（2012）

Is there anything else in your pockets
重物没有
that could be weighing you down?
你搞笑呢吗 那你还带三个香蕉做什么
You’re kidding. So then why did you bring three bananas?
我才不信广♥告♥呢 我天生多疑
Because I don’t trust the advertising. I’m naturally suspicious.
还有什么不
Is there anything else you’re carrying?
还是太沉了
You’re still too heavy.
只有这个了
Just this.
这是什么 砖头吗
What is that, a brick?
你一直带着块砖头 为什么
All this time you’ve had a brick? Why do you have that?
平衡另一边的重量
Well, to balance out the weight from the other one.
你还有一块
You have two bricks?
对
Yes!
马上都给我扔了
Throw them down immediately!
天哪 有只小山羊在啃缆绳
Oh, my God! There’s a little goat eating the wire!
得快把重量减下来
You need to lose weight immediately!
我兜里都空了 要不我拉泡屎
My pockets are empty. I could poo.
那没啥大用啊
That won’t be enough to make a difference.
有用 我来纽约之后就没拉过
Yes, it will. I haven’t gone since Wadiya.
失去权力弄得我便秘 像是塞了个塞子
Losing power has stopped me up like a cork.
快
Hurry!
快点 最高领袖 快拉啊
Come on, Supreme Leader! Make it rain! Make it rain!
拉出来了 头还是尖的呢
It’s out! And it’s pointy!
快来人阻止他
Somebody stop that man!
成了
Yes!
怎么 不好不好
What? No, no, no, no!
不要
No, no, no!
最高领袖
Supreme Leader!
在塔米尔杀了你前赶紧离开
Get out of here before Tamir kills you.
塔米尔是谁
Who is Tamir?
塔米尔就是
Tamir…
害我们至此的那个光头混♥蛋♥
The bald bastard who did all these terrible things to us!
我还以为他叫丹尼斯
I thought his name was Dennis.
你怎么想的 把塔米尔记成丹尼斯
How would you even make that leap? Tamir to Dennis?
-快 出去 出去 -快点 蒙兹
– Go on, get out! Get out! – Come on, Montzi!
快
Quick!
跳过去 没那么远
Just jump. It’s not that far.
艾弗瓦德
Efawadh.
快到时间了
It is almost time.
我喜欢山羊
I like goats.
我很蠢
I am very stupid.
这是历史性的一刻
This is an historic moment.
瓦迪亚海陆统帅 阿♥拉♥丁♥元♥帅
Admiral General Aladeen of Wadiya
将要签署瓦迪亚有史以来
is going to be signing the first democratic constitution
首部民♥主♥宪♥章♥
in the history of his nation.
全球人♥民♥都在目不转睛的关注这一幕
Across the globe, people are glued to their television sets.
瓦迪亚人♥民♥正在庆祝
The people of Wadiya are celebrating
国家的新生
what will be a new chapter in their country.
现在距离签署宪♥章♥
Just moments away now from putting his signature
没有多久了
on the first democratic constitution.
这是塔米尔·马福德 深得阿♥拉♥丁信任的顾问
That’s Tamir Mafraad, Aladeen’s trusted advisor,
此刻他正于中国商人
sharing a lighthearted moment
祥劳亲切交谈
with Chinese businessman, Xiang Lao.
你认为他们正在谈论什么 麦克
Any thoughts on what they might be saying, Mike?
我觉得能看出在说哈维·凯德[美国影星]
I thought I made out the words “Harvey Keitel.”
不知这是什么意思
Don’t know what that meant.
也许他们共享了一个热狗
Maybe they shared a hot dog together, I’m thinking?
说得通
That would make sense.
他在抹去脸和胸上的芥末
He’s wiping the mustard off his face and chest.
不好意思
Excuse me!
你不明白 你得让我进去
You have to let me in. You don’t understand.
他要试图阻止签字仪式
He’s trying to stop the signing!
塔米尔正在讲话
Tamir is now speaking.
今天
Today,
我们开启了一个崭新的时代
we begin a new era.
瓦迪亚将会走向全球
Wadiya will be open to the world.
走向未来
Open to the future.
走向商业开放
And open for business.
可以签署文件了 最高领袖
The document is ready to be signed, Supreme Leader.
你在干什么 这个人是个冒牌货
What are you doing? This man is an imposter!
我不是 这个叛徒试图杀我还毁了我的胡子
No! This traitor tried to kill me and had my beard removed!
看
Look!
逮捕阴险的塔米尔
Arrest the viper Tamir!
事件发展出乎意料
And now in another amazing turn of events,
塔米尔·马福德正被带走
Tamir Mafraad is being taken away.
这个宪♥章♥ 就是一张许可而已
This constitution is nothing but a license
让石油公♥司♥和外籍利益集团
for oil companies and foreign interests
破坏我挚爱的瓦迪亚
to destroy my beloved Wadiya!
瓦迪亚将继续施行专♥政♥
Wadiya will remain a dictatorship!
别吵
Oh, be quiet.
你们为何如此反对独♥裁♥
Why are you guys so anti dictators?
想象下 如果美国是独♥裁♥政♥权♥
Imagine if America was a dictatorship.
就能让1%的人 拥有国家的所有财富
You could let 1% of the people have all the nation’s wealth.
就能让你的富人朋友更富
You could help your rich friends get richer
给他们减税
by cutting their taxes
在他们投资失败的时候 出♥台♥救♥市♥计划
and bailing them out when they gamble and lose.
可以不给穷♥人♥提供
You could ignore the needs of the poor
医保和教育
for health care and education.
媒体表面上言论自♥由♥
Your media would appear free
暗中却被一个家族所掌控
but would secretly be controlled by one person and his family.
可以随意窃听电♥话♥
You could wiretap phones,
虐待外籍俘虏
you could torture foreign prisoners.
可以操控选举
You could have rigged elections.
可以捏造理由发起战争
You could lie about why you go to war.
可以把监狱塞满少数民族
You could fill your prisons with one particular racial group
也没人会抱怨
and no one would complain!
可以利用媒体胁迫民众
You could use the media to scare the people
去支持不利于他们的政策
into supporting policies that are against their interests.
我知道你们美国人很难想象这些
I know this is hard for you Americans to imagine,
但设想一下吧
but please try.
我告诉你民♥主♥是什么
I will tell you what democracy is!
民♥主♥最糟了
Democracy is the worst!
每个愚蠢的意见都讨论个没完没了
Endless talking and listening to every stupid opinion!
每个人都能说了算
And everybody’s vote counts,
瘸子 黑人 女人 都能说了算
no matter how crippled or black or female they are.
民♥主♥
Democracy…
民♥主♥
Democracy
长腋毛 还有点超重
has hairy armpits and could lose five pounds.
民♥主♥看着像侏儒带了个化疗假发
Democracy looks like a midget in a chemo wig.
民♥主♥ 你妈那天打电♥话♥留言
Democracy, your mother called the other day
我忘了告诉你
and I forgot to give you the message.
你外婆的什么事 很重要
It was something very important about your grandmother.
民♥主♥会自愿的吻你
Democracy kisses you because she wants to,
而不是因为她爸被关在隔壁
not because her father is in the next room
乳♥头♥接了电极 被锁在暖气片上
chained to a radiator with electrodes attached to his nipples.
民♥主♥有缺陷 民♥主♥不完美
Democracy is flawed! She is not perfect!
但是 民♥主♥
But democracy,
我爱你
I love you.
因此我才要呼唤真正的民♥主♥
And that is why I call for real democracy!
一部真正的宪法
A real constitution!
一次瓦迪亚真正的选举
And real elections in Wadiya!
不要啊
Oh, no!
拜托
Come on!
民♥主♥ 我要将你纳入后宫
Democracy, I will make you one of my wives.
好吧 就娶你一个 我们投票
Okay, only wife. We’ll vote on it.
我会为你刮腋毛的
I’ll shave my armpits for you.
感谢造物主
Praise be to the Creator!
拜托你别再用那个有机除臭剂了
And please stop using that organic deodorant.
臭的都能熏死库尔德人了
You could gas the Kurds with that stench.
你因保卫我而死 艾弗瓦德
You died protecting me, Efawadh.
你好
Hello!
你还活着