独裁者（2012）

There has been a regime change!
你 去整理货架
Yo! You are stocking the shelves.
你 高龄罗马尼亚会计
You, senile Romanian accountant.
你是收银员
You are on the cash register.
绿色世界的CEO不开混合动力汽车
The CEO of Green World does not drive a hybrid!
绿色世界生产的化学品
The chemicals in Green World produce
让这个男孩长奶头
made this boy grow tits!
你保证不再偷了吗
You promise not to steal again?
不会了 不会了
I won’t. I won’t!
正确的选择
Good choice.
维克多
Hi, Viktor.
至高店长
Supreme Grocer.
菊苣已经洗干净而且整理好了
The radicchio has been washed and sorted,
喷水管也缠好了
and the spray hose has been tightly coiled.
很好 现在上楼
Very good. Now go upstairs
去给小麦草施肥
and finish composting the wheatgrass tailings, okay?
是 至高店长
Yes, Supreme Grocer.
佐伊
Zoey!
什么 看哪
What? Look…
太棒了
It’s amazing!
不是太棒 只是没以前那么糟糕了
Oh, it’s not amazing. It’s just a little less shit.
好吧 谢谢你
Well, thank you.
-不好意思 -没问题
– Sorry. – Oh, of course.
-私人电♥话♥ -谢谢你 再次感谢
– Personal. – Thank you. Thank you again.
我有好消息
I have some very good news.
什么
What is it?
我今天在假发店
I managed to buy some
买♥♥到了一个非常不错的假胡子
beards at the wig store today that are perfect.
不 纳达尔 必须得是真胡子
No, Nadal, it must be real hair.
-而且是一个伟大人物的胡子 -什么
– And from the head of a great man! – What?
就像卡斯特罗或者甘道夫
Like Castro or Gandalf.
不
No.
干得好 纳达尔 这个胡子很完美
Well done, Nadal. This beard is perfect.
这些花都很漂亮
Those are lovely flowers.
佐伊想过在店里
You know, Zoey is thinking of opening
开辟一个环保的鲜花专区
an eco-friendly flower section to the store.
这是今天你第五次提到她了
This is the fifth time
这是什么情况
you’ve mentioned her today. What is going on?
还有两天就要签字了
The signing is in two days.
别告诉我你爱上这女人了
Tell me you’re not falling for this woman!
当然没有 这太愚蠢了
Of course I’m not. This is silly.
很好 我们现在要做的是溜进教堂
Okay, good. All we need to do is slip into this chapel…
然而 这太奇怪了
And yet, it’s strange.
有一天 我让她
The other day, I asked her to, you know,
为我吹♥箫♥ 她拒绝了
gobble on my bilbul and she said, “no.”
所以我想处死她
So obviously I wanted to execute her.
但是砍掉她的头让我感觉挺伤心的
But the thought of her decapitated head actually upset me,
-所以我决定不这么做了 -不
– So I decided not to do it. – No.
当你觉得砍掉某人的头让你伤心的话
When the thought of someone’s decapitated head upsets you,
那就是爱
that is love.
-我发誓我一点都不喜欢她 -你不喜欢她?
– I swear, I don’t even like her at all. – You don’t like her?
她的身材就像一个14岁男孩
She has the body shape of a 14-year-old boy.
那是你很特别的一个弱点
Well, that is a particular weakness of yours.
需要我提醒你”梅努多”事件吗[著名少年偶像团体]
Need I remind you of the Menudo incident?
那些男孩睁着眼睛的
Those boys had their eyes open.
他们知道他们在做什么
They knew exactly what they were doing.
是我们把他们眼睛睁开的
We made them have their eyes open.
你让我把他们中的一个眼睛撑开
You made me hold one of their eyes open,
这样他们就能看见你对他们做的事情
so they’d see what you were doing to them.
他们看起来很愉快
They seemed to be having a pretty good time.
不是 那些男孩都哭了
They were not. Those boys were crying.
其中的三个自杀了
Three of them killed themselves!
跟我没关系
Nothing to do with me.
和你关系大着呢 他们中的大部分人都记下了
Everything to do with you! A lot of them wrote notes.
在他们的自杀遗言里提到了你的名字
In their suicide notes they named you by name!
都是谣言 你太傻了
It’s all a rumor. And you’re being silly.
先生们 你们在干嘛
Hello, gentlemen. How you doin’?
你们是死者的朋友吗
Are you guys friends of the deceased?
该怎么说呢
How do I put this?
他是我的黑鬼
He was my nigger.
不 不是这么说的
No, that’s not the way to put it.
不是吗
No?
他是我的黑桂 黑鬼 黑葵
He was my negger. Nigger. Nagger?
-不 不 不 -你在说什么
– No, no, no. – What is that?
-黑龟 黑鬼 黑柜
– Negar. Nigger? Nagur? – No, no.
别说了
Please stop. Please.
进来之前我就告诉过你
I told you, before we came in.
有一个词不要提
One word, do not say.
就是你现在用的这个词
Is the exact word you’re using now.
-没有 我说的是奴嘎 -你已经说了很多次了
– No, I said Nuga… – One dozen times.
请告警告他 弄不好今天搞出两个葬礼来
Please relate to him that there could be two funerals today.
我 相信我
I… Believe me when I tell you,
我们来这里只是来表示对这位伟人的缅怀
we are here only to pay our respects to a great man.
好吧 他的棺材现在就在小教堂里
Okay, Eldridge’s casket is laying in the chapel right now.
待会我们就要进去缅怀
We’re gonna have the viewing in a few minutes.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
顺便说一下 我喜欢你的音乐
I love your music, by the way.
不 不是 他不是个音乐家
No, it’s not. He’s not a musician.
很抱歉 惠特尼就这么走了
I’m so, so sorry that Whitney turned out like she did.
-不是鲍比·布朗[惠特尼的前夫]
– It’s not Bobby Brown.
-去那 -好 来了
– Go there. – Okay. Here we go.
你好 有人在里面吗
Hello? Somebody in here?
纳达尔 南非州人发现我们了
Nadal! The Sub-Saharans have discovered us!
-什么 好 好 好 -快点 快
– What? Okay, okay, okay! – Hurry, hurry!
-马上就好 -你在那干嘛
– Just a moment! – What you doin’ in there?
手♥淫♥
Jerking off.
开门
Open this door!
-不 不 -快开门
– No, no, no! – Open the door now!
快点 计划B 计划B
Quick! Plan B! Plan B!
你怎么把他的头割下来了
Why did you chop off his head?
你不是说计划B吗
You said Plan B!
计划B是喝杯咖啡然后重组
Plan B was to have coffee and regroup,
不是砍掉他的头
it was not to chop his head off!
早上好 纳达尔
Good morning, Nadal!
快起来 早上好 纳达尔
Wake up! Good morning, Nadal!
别 别 别
No, no, no, no, no, no!
把这东西拿开
Get this away from me!
咱俩真是好搭档
You know, me and you are quite a team.
不 不
No, no.
你还知道其他伟大的搭档吗
You know who else makes a great team?
艾伯尼 和艾奥维
Ebony and Ivory
别 别 别
No, no, no!
和谐的生活在一起
Live together in perfect harmony.
你是怎么了 快把它拿开
What is wrong with you? Get it out of here!
真好玩
Good one.
哗啦哗啦 我在洗澡
Splish splash I was taking a bath!
赶紧出去
No! Get it out of here!
真奇怪
Oh, that is weird.
我在豆角下面放了些枸杞
I threw in some carob-covered goji berries,
免费赠送
just as a treat. Enjoy.
谢谢 你真好 真是个好人
Thank you. That’s very kind of you. You’re a very nice man.
你♥他♥妈♥刚才叫我什么
What the fuck did you call me?
我说你人很好
I said you were nice!
艾利森 兰卡斯特刚才来电♥话♥了 我们拿到合约了
Allison! The Lancaster just called! We got the contract back!
-很好 管它呢 -我知道
– Great! Whatever! – I know!
绿色世界正在关闭他们在曼哈顿的店
Green World is shutting down their Manhattan store!
我很奇怪这是怎么回事
I wonder what could have happened?
宝贝 小心点 小心
Be careful with that, sweetheart. Be careful.
好了 我们要买♥♥个大莴苣
Oh, yeah, we’re going to have a nice big salad.
来拥抱庆祝下
Celebratory cuddle?
干得好