海盗电台（2009）

那我自己喝
I’ll drink it myself.
西蒙 我有个消息告诉你
Simon, I’ve got some news.
不 别告诉我
No. don’t tell me…
你其实已经怀孕了 是吗
You’re pregnant already, aren’t you?
我知道就会这样
I knew this was gonna happen.
斯瓦福特家就有这倒霉传统
The Swaffords have alway have strong stuff
不 才不是
No, it’s not that.
不是说我不想要孩子 我真的想
Not that I don’t want babies. I do.
我要整整一打 到时候你会烦死的
I want a dozen. You’ll be in bits by the time I’m done,
但是你知道 我想我们在孩子成堆之前
But, you know, I thought that we could have a few more years
还可以无忧无虑几年
Of reckless shagging before we settle into baby boulevard.
西蒙 我真的堕入爱河了
Simon, I’m so in love.
当然
Of course you are.
加文真不错
Gavin is so fantastic.
是吗 他是不是天字第一号♥伟人 酷哥
Isn’t he? Isn’t he just the greatest, the coolest guy?
没错 我想这就是我爱他的原因
Yes, he is. I guess that’s why I’m in love with him.
考拉熊 你说你
Koala bear, when you said that you were
爱上了他
in love with him,
解释下 究竟是啥意思
Translation. what do you mean by that?
这
Well, I…
在遇到你前一个星期 我碰上了他
I met him about a week before I met you
我爱上了他
And I fell in love with him.
但是他说唯一我能登上船的办法
But he said the only way that I could
就是结婚
be on the boat was if we got married
而他不会和我结婚 原因很明显
And he wouldn’t do that, for obvious reasons.
所以我觉得我可以另找个DJ结婚
So I suggested that I could just marry another dj,
这样我就可以留在船上
And that way l could still be on the boat.
他说这主意简直疯了
He said that was a mad idea.
但后来我就遇上了你
But then I met you.
当我看到你独自坐在那夜♥总♥会♥里
You know, I saw you sitting all alone in that
我就想 机不可失
pub and I just leapt at
然后 我就到这儿了
Well, now, here I am.
如果你能接受
And if it’s okay with you
今晚我就搬去加文那儿住
I’ll be moving in with Gavin tonight
谢谢你的理解
Thanks for being so understanding.
但我不理解
But I don’t understand.
但我解释过了
But I just explained.
我遇上了加文 相爱了
see, I met Gavin and we fell in love
不 我知道这个 我明白
No, I get that. I understood all…
我们家族有这倒霉遗传
I get the instinct out of this
我就是不明白为什么你可以这么残忍♥
What I don’t understand is how you could be so cruel.
我是说 昨天 读读那个
I mean, we’re just married, if you read the…
我们刚结婚
Yesterday.
我们本该一起共度余生 天荒地老
And we’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.
会的 会的 以某种方式 会的 就是
We will, in a way. we will, we will. It’s just…
每天晚上 我会和加文
I’ll be having sex with Gavin
而不是你做♥爱♥而已
instead of you ever night
但我们还是朋友
But we’ll still be friends.
如果你需要我 我就在隔壁
If you need me, I’ll be right next door.
好吗
Okay?
做♥爱♥
Having sex?
但愿吧 是的
Hopefully, yes.
你可以旁听
You might hear us.
那可真好
That would be nice.
据官方可靠消息 在一场延续了17个小时的婚姻过后
Official sources were today said to announce
西蒙·斯瓦福特和他的妻子 埃莉诺
The separation of Simon Swafford and his wife, Elenore,
宣布分手
After 17 hours of marriage.
原因归于对音乐追求的分歧
It is understood the split is due to musical differences.
不 不 我不信
No, no, I can’t beiieve
你要离开我
You’re leaving me
留下陪我 宝贝儿
Stay with me, baby
求你 留下来吧 宝贝儿
Piease, stay with me, baby
留下来来陪我
Stay with me, baby
现在是早上九点
09 in the a.m.,
而你正在收听的是简单西蒙·斯瓦福特的节目
And you’re listening to simpie Simon Swafford show
就在中波203 摇滚电台
On radio rock, 203 metres on the medium waveband.
记住 哥们儿 扮酷不简单
And remember, folks, it ain’t simple being cool,
但是简单就很酷
But it’s cool being simple.
狗♥娘♥养♥的 你还想说什么
Well, what do you have to say, bastard?
拉倒吧 公平点 我又没让她这么做
come on, be fair. I didn’t ask her to do that
而且我告诉她 这样不行 而且她现在走了
And I said to her, it’s absolutely not on and now she’s left,
离开了 下了船 再也不会回来
She’s gone, she’s left the boat, she’s not coming back.
我实在没明白我做错什么了
I honestly can’t see what I’ve done wrong.
我能怎么说
What can I say?
这就是摇滚的阴暗面
It’s the dark side of rock ‘n’ roll.
你能告诉我一件事吗
Can you tell me one thing?
在今早她离开之前 你们 你没有
Before she left this morning, did you… you didn’t…
你知道吧
You know?
就热了热身
Just one little pop.
我觉得这是惹了这么大♥麻♥烦之后
I thought it was the least I could do after
我能给这可爱姑娘的最后慰藉而已
all the trouble for the lovely girl to comfort her
西蒙 等等
Simon, wait.
-确实不能怪他 是吧 -不 就怪他
– Can’t really blame him, can we? – Yeah, you can.
先生 你听说过越战没
Mister, you ever heard of the vietnam war?
-听过 -那好
– I have. – Well,
大屠♥杀♥跟你即将经历的比起来
That holocaust is simply a playground skirmish
不过是过家家而已
Next to what you’re about to experience.
我在宣战
I’m declaring war.
战-争 会让你死无葬身之地
W-a-r. gonna tear you apart.
我亲爱的听众们 你们也许注意到
My dear listeners, you may have noticed
咱们这世界之王齐望和一个叫做加文的家伙
a certain cooling of the relationship between this world highness the Count
之间的剑拔弩张
And a guy called Gavin
我迫不及待要向世界证明 这家伙是个懦夫
Well, I am eager to show the world that he is a coward
所以我提出了一个
So I’m suggesting something that’s
在发源地颇为流行
pretty big where it comes from
叫做小鸡的游戏
And it is a game called chicken
谁爬得最远 谁就是赢家
The man who climbs the furthest is the beater
赢的是好汉 输的是小鸡
Only the best man win and the bigest chichen lose
准备好了吗
Are we ready?
加油 齐望 加油 往上爬
Come on, Count. come on. Up you go.
-但愿她值 -绝对
– Hope she’s worth it. – She definitely was.
妈的
Fuck.
-上 齐望 -加油 齐望
– Come on, Count. – Come on, Count.
-上帝啊 -救救他
– For god’s sake. – Help him!
好了
Okay.
好了
Okay.
现在很高了
It’s… It’s getting pretty high now.
我认为现在该谈谈是不是该
I suppose there might be an argument that it’s time for a…
考验反应了
A moment of reflection.
说得就像一只极品小鸡
Spoken like a five-star chicken.
-他们想干嘛 -给你找个台阶而已
– What are they doing? – Just trying to help you out.
咱们得做点什么
We should do something!
上帝啊 停下吧
For god’s sakes, stop!
他不过是睡了别人的老婆而已
All he did was have sex with someone’s wife.
抱歉西蒙 不是针对你
Sorry, Simon, don’t take it personal.
改主意了
Changed your mind, then?
-改什么 -让我当小鸡
– About what? – About me being a chicken.
还用问
Why do you ask?
我们都到了顶了
Well, we’ve reached the top.
然后
And…
这已经到顶了
It’s the top.
但还没到头
But it’s not the end.
是吧
Isn’t it?
没错
No, sir.
-上帝啊 -奶奶的
– Christ. – Fuck.
你们疯了 俩个疯子
You’re nuts! you’re nuts!
我认为 今天结束时 会分出个胜负
I think, at the end of the day, must come the winner
我他妈怎么这么胖
Why am I so fucking fat?
-现在怎么说 -我说
– What do you say now? – I say,
要是看到一只鸡 我肯定能认出来
I know a chicken when I see one,