海盗电台（2009）

– Speaking of which, Mr… – Fredericks.
-弗莱德里克斯 -什么 先生
– Fredericks. – Yes, sir?
我想我们也应该开始立法
I think we might also start working on
留发不留头 留头不留发
legislation to outlaw that haircut peoples
-您看不顺眼 先生 -除了瞎子
– You don’t like it, Sir? – No one
没人看着顺眼
apart for blind people
而我确信他们和你擦肩而过时
And I’m sure even they can sense its
也能感觉到这头发的无比丑陋
profound ugliness as soon as they pass you by
我给你一天解决头发
I’ll give you a day to deal with the hair
两个星期解决海盗电台 再见
And a fortnight to deal with the pirates. Goodbye.
西小姐 如我所料 一群废物
Miss c, as l suspected, totally useless!
-把那个聪明的新人给我叫来 -当然 先生
– Send me that clever new chap! – Certainly, sir!
我有活儿给他 我们得进攻了
I have a job for him. we have some damage to do.
早上好各位 现在是简单西蒙在中波203
Good morning everybody. You’re iistening to simple simon’s breakfast show
送出的早餐广播
On 203 metres in the medium waveband.
期待周六呢
Looking forward to saturday?
-什么周六 -周六 无与伦比的周六
– What’s saturday? – Saturday! Sensational saturday!
如你所见 不幸的是
As you may have noticed, there are,
这船上除了菲利斯迪
unfortunubbly, no women on this boat
-这种拉拉倾向的女人 -嗨
– Apart from Felicity – Hiya!
就没有别的女人了
…who is of the lesbionic tendency.
但是每隔一个周六 每位DJ可以邀请
But every second saturday, each DJ is
一位姑娘上船
allowed to invite one girl on to the boat
那么 你打算邀谁
So, any idea who you’ll invite?
天啊
God.
大概是要那种有可能发展到
Presumably there’s a sort of presumption that there’ll be…
-上♥床♥的吧 -毫无疑问
– sex, of some sort. – Every time.
那就没有
Then no.
我一直在男校读书
I’ve spent my life at all-boys’ schools.
我最亲密的一次接吻
The closest I’ve ever come to a snog
也就是一不小心被马添了脸
Is when I was once licked on the face by a horse.
马
A horse?
我可真为你遗憾 卡尔 我的孩子
I’m sorry to hear that, Carl, my son.
很认真的说
I would seriously not tell
我真没法想象
I will put my mind to it.
-一群自恋狂 -跟你连线的那位呢
– Peacock. – How are you lined up, eh?
-她叫做蒂凡尼 -她喜欢络腮胡吧
– Well, her name is daphne. – And she likes the bearded man.
-没错 千真万确 -而且把儿很小
– She does, indeed. – with a tiny knob.
随你说
Whatever.
我确实把儿挺小
I’ve got a tiny knob, actually.
不过我还挺自豪
But l rather like it.
意味着我能穿小号♥内♥裤♥
It means I can wear smaller underpants.
不知道什么意思 我啥也没听懂
Don’t know what that means. I didn’t understand any of that.
其他人呢
What about other…
那上面是谁 我还没见过他
Who’s that guy up there? I haven’t met him yet.
那是马克
That is Mark.
他是这星球上最性感的男人了 几乎从不开口
He’s the sexiest man on the planet. Hardly ever speaks.
即使广播时也不说话 有意思吧
Not even when he’s broadcasting, which is interesting.
那位就是午夜马克
So that’s midnight Mark.
谢了
Thanks.
哇哦
Wow.
现在
Now…
-你没请人来 -不 不 今天没
– You not got anyone? – No. no, not today.
我想我真的 我在找寻
I guess I’m really… I’m looking
一生一次的真爱
for that one true love thing
-真的 -真的 真的 那是大日子
– Really? – Yeah. Yeah. Big time.
-你这样梦想过吗 -的确这样想过
– You dig the dream? – I dig the dream.
是啊 是个很美妙的梦想
Yeah, it’s a good dream.
-他们来了 -他们来了
– Here they come. – Here they come.
可来了
There they are!
哇哦
Wow.
哇哦
Wowzer.
天啊 一船小妞
Oh, my god, it’s like a boat of honey.
我想和她们所有人上♥床♥
I wanna sleep with them all!
-你好 -欢迎登船
– Hi. – Welcome aboard!
转个圈
Do a twirl!
我要大醉一场
I need a big drink.
赞 咱们走
I agree. Let’s leave.
对 快 上来
Right, hurry, up the steps.
我要是把你们叫成一个名字不介意吧
Do you mind if l call you guys by the same name?
我总是把双胞胎搞混
Twins can always confuse me
其实这书很有意思
This is actually a very interesting book.
-真的 -真的 它讲
– Is it? – Yes, it’s…
我爸以前搜集啄木鸟
My father used to collect woodpeckers.
-真的 -真的 假的
– Really? – Yeah! No.
不 我爸其实是个建筑师
No, my father was an architect.
你呢 你♥爸♥干嘛的
How about you? what did your father do?
他跟我妈上♥床♥ 然后
Well, he had sex with my mum and then
没留下任何名字或地址
left without leaving a name or address
-不会吧 -真的
– No. – Yeah.
-不会吧 -挺好啊
– No – It’s cool.
我…你不会想念从未有过的东西
I… you don’t miss what you’ve never had.
没啥活动 哥儿几个
Nothing planned, you guys?
-没 没活动 -一样
– No, no. – Well, yes.
对我和我的性生活来说 又一个宁静的午后
Another very quiet afternoon for me and my sex life.
忧郁之屋啊
The sad room.
过来
Come here.
我来带你走出困境
I’ve come to get you out of your predicament.
什么困境
What predicament?
这种忧郁啊 没妞泡
The whole sad act. No girl,
小♥弟♥弟♥没处使 萎得像牙签
unused pencil-sized penis predicament
就这困境
That predicament.
这边来
Walk this way.
别去
Don’t walk that way.
-不 跟着啄木鸟走 -我只是去
– No. walk woodpecker way. – well, I’m just gonna…
好吧好吧 也许能行
Okay. okay, it might work.
但是第一 这个道德上不对
But one, it’s morally wrong.
-是吗 -是
– Well, I mean, is it? – Yes.
第二 也许不行呢 万一那样我
And two, it might not work. In which case I’m
就成了全球头号♥傻蛋了
gonna be the biggest idiot in the world
说的都没错 但是另一方面
All this is true. but on the other hand,
你要度过一生中最美妙的5分钟了
It could be the best five minutes of your life.
听到了没 命运在召唤你
You hear that? That’s destiny knocking.
进去吧
Get in there.
抱歉姑娘们 对不起 妈妈
Sorry, girls. Sorry, Mum.
没错 医生很饥渴
Yeah. The doctor is hungry.
进来吧宝贝儿
Come on in, baby.
-这是什么 -酒
– What’s this? – Alcohol.
-你想灌醉我 是吧 -正有此意
– You’re trying to get me drunk, are you? – Of course I am.
-你怎么样 -对 你是对的
– How you been? – Yeah, you’re all right.
我要引发爱之烈火了
I need to pull the pin on the love grenade.
请吧
Please do.
我觉得
I think…
我们应该把灯关了
I think we should turn the lights off.
一定要关吗 和你一起时我想多看你几眼
Do we have to? I like to see you when I’m with you.
亮着灯我没状态 太不自然了
I can’t make love in electric light, it’s unnatural.
相信我好吧 我可是医生
Trust me, though, yeah? I’m a doctor.
来吧 好了
Let’s do this, yeah?
来 别脱鞋
Come on. keep your boots on.
不脱鞋
Keeping the boots on.
来了 虽然还有点不太好
There we go. although, not quite good enough.
这就好了 黑透了
There. pitch black.
-你可真复杂 -谢谢
– You are a very complex man. -Thank you.
你 你能不能等我一下
Will you… will you just excuse me for a second?
你去哪儿
Where are you going?
咱们得采取点安全措施
I think we should take some precautionary measures.
别担心 我吃了药
Don’t worry, I’m on the pill.
我还是觉得去洗一下好
I still think I’d like to freshen up, though.
-好吧 快去快回 -一定
– Okay. hurry back. – I will.
你♥他♥妈♥磨蹭啥呢
What the hell are you doing?
我觉得还是先刷个牙才好