征服钱海（1999）

阿门快乐
Happy… Amen!
今晚的商务会大概什么时候开始
What time is this thing supposed to start tonight?
七点
7:00.
你饿了吗
You hungry?
我想我应该还能吃
I could probably eat, I guess.
你感觉怎么样
What do you feel like?
也许我们应该去楼下
Maybe we ought to go on downstairs.
好 说走就走
Yeah. That’s what we’ll do.
这就走 我们下楼去
That’s exactly what we’ll do. We’ll go downstairs,
吃点酒店的东西填饱肚子
we’ll fill our bellies full of hotel food,
顺便向服务员小姐抛抛媚眼怎么样
we’ll ogle the waitresses a little… or not.
然后我们回来
And then we’ll come back up here,
给鲍勃传授把妹秘籍
and we’ll show bob the ropes.
教教他怎么做生意
We’ll teach him what it’s like to do business.
我很期待呢
I’m looking forward to it.
是啊 你觉得这么重大的时刻你准备好了吗 鲍勃
Oh, yeah, you think you’re ready for the big time, bob?
我想只有用一个方法能知道答案
Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out.
就像把我扔到水里 才知道我会不会游泳
That’s to throw me in the water, see if I can swim.
噢 我觉得你没有听明白 鲍勃
Oh, I think you’re kind of missing the point here, bob.
我们是要把你从悬崖上扔下去看看你能不能飞
We’re about to throw you off a cliff and see if you can fly.
你的裤子上的标签没撕呢
You got a tag on your pants.
对 我刚买♥♥的
Well, I just bought it.
那你怎么不把商标剪掉
Take the little strings off, why don’t you?
哦 天啊 你有剪刀吗
Well, jesus christ, you got any scissors?
公♥司♥的智囊会努力的
The brains of the company will try.
你们得救了 你们有福了
You are saved! You are saved!
全部免费喝
Drinks on the house!
与上帝同在
Be saved with jesus!
饮料人人有份 免费的
Drinks for everyone, on the house.
排起来 排起来 帅哥美女们
Line ’em up, line ’em up, boys and girls.
要火吗
You need a light?
好的 你要杜松子酒
Yeah, you want a gin fixer, the…
你刚说的是金霸克还是金费克斯
did you say gin buck or gin fix?
那是
That’s…
你要点什么
What did you want?
嗯
Um…
加点这个到这个里面
A little bit of this into this.
菲尔
Phil?
菲尔 菲尔 菲尔 你知道现在几点吗
Phil, phil, phil, do you know what time it is?
我肯定你会告诉我的
I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.
九点半了
It’s 9:30.
那又怎么样
So what?
你说怎么样
What do you mean, so what?
我们七点就开始了 他还没来
We started at 7:00. He’s not coming.
他说他会来的
Well, he said he’d be here.
那他就在开玩笑 好吗
Well, he… he’s kidding, all right,
因为他不在这里 他不在这里
because he’s not here. He’s not here.
那你想我怎么办
Well, what do you want me to do?
你走点心好吗
Act a little concerned.
我很走心啊
I’m concerned.
噢 是吗 你知道吗
Oh, really? Because you know what?
你躲得真够好
You hide it really, really well.
你要有信心 行吗
Well, just have faith, would you?
就一次
Just once.
有 有信
Have f… have…
有信心
have faith.
哇 哇
Whoa! Whoa!
卡胡纳
Kahuna!
嘿 谢啦 兄弟
Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
那个傻♥逼♥
That son of a bitch
跟我聊了差不多
talked to me about basketball
两个小时的篮球
for nearly 2 hours,
并且他所做的一切显得
and all he did was exhibit
他对篮球一无所知
that he doesn’t know the first thing about the game.
这什么
What…
敢不敢给我拿个再小点的杯子
you think you can get me a smaller glass?
给我拿个锥形杯什么的
How about a little thimble or something?
都是用过的
They’re all dirty.
把那瓶给我
Give me that bottle.
所以我就喜欢酒
That’s what I love about these things.
这东西让我欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥
It kills me about these things.
你让一个男人和他老婆分开几天
You get a guy away from his wife for a couple of days,
灌他几杯酒
you pour a couple of drinks into him,
他瞬间就能变成世上顶尖的体育专家
he all of a sudden becomes the world’s foremost expert on sports.
这就是上帝创造老婆的原因 鲍勃
That’s why god created wives, bob,
这样她们就能让男人知道
so that they could show men
他们什么时候是个混♥蛋♥
when they’re being assholes.
我是说 不管你把一个男人和他老婆
I mean, you get a guy away from his wife
分开多久
for any length of time,
他就连怎么做人都不知道了
and he hasn’t the first idea how to behave.
我敢担♥保♥
Take it from me.
嗯 圣经说上帝创造了夏娃作为配偶
Well, the bible said god created eve as a helpmate.
作为什么
As a what?
内助
A helper
适当满足他的需要
suitable to meet his needs.
我不懂这些东西 鲍勃
I don’t know anything about that, bob,
但是我知道的是
but what I do know is this…
上帝创造了女人作为镜子
God created women to be mirrors,
这样男人就可以看看自己是多么的混♥蛋♥
so a man could see what an ass he is.
我说 你跟我说什么灵魂
I mean, you talk to me about souls…
男人是不知道自己的灵魂是什么样子的
A man does not know what his soul looks like,
根本不知道
hasn’t any idea what his soul looks like
直到他盯着嫁给他那个女人的双眼
until he gazes into the eyes of the woman that he’s married to.
然后 如果他是任何一种正派的人
And then, if he’s any kind of decent human being,
他接下来会连吐几天
he spends the next couple of days throwing up.
因为没有一个
Because no man,
老实男人
no honest man,
能够承受那个画面
can stand that image.
去吧 把鞋子脱掉 随意一点
Go ahead, take your shoes off and be comfortable.
人都走了
Everybody’s gone.
我以为你说过你不喜欢结婚
I thought you said you didn’t like being married.
是啊 我不喜欢
Well, I didn’t,
但这并不意味着我不推荐啊
but that doesn’t mean I don’t recommend it.
鲍勃 人这一生有很多
There’s a lot of things in this life, bob,
对你有好处
that are good for you,
但却不怎么美好的东西
but are not necessarily pleasant.
比如割礼
Like circumcision.
哇 时间差不多了
Wow. It’s about time.
你去哪儿了
Where the hell have you been?
你特么还好意思问我
What do you mean where the hell have I been?
你就一直在这坐着
While you’ve been sitting in here
轻抚着一个个忽悠人的家伙 让他们从那扇门离去
stroking every swinging dick that walked through that door,
而我却一直在找伟大的卡胡纳
I’ve been in search of the grand kahuna!
找什么
The what?
救世主 鲍勃
The savior, bob.
总统先生
El presidente.
一个只要动动嘴皮子
The man who with one small utterance,
吐几个字
one tiny ejaculation of sound
就能让这个公♥司♥如孕妇般大肚临盆的人
could make this company big with child.
那你找到他了吗
Did you find him?
菲尔 用用你的直觉
Phil, use your intuition here for a second,
用用上帝赐给你的本事
use that god-given gift you have
感受一下现在的情况
for smelling out the truth of a situation.
我看起来像找到他了吗
Do I look as though I found him?
不像
No.
对 算你还有这个本事
Good. You still have it.
你们在说什么
Who are you guys talking about?
我们在说
We’re talking about…
伟大的卡胡纳 还有大白鲸
The grand kahuna, bob, the great white whale…
你读过老人与海吗
did you ever read the old man and the sea?