You can’t arrange this thing over our heads, you know.
我不能？
Can’t l?
退一万步说 布鲁斯马丁上尉有财产和补贴
Captain Bules Martin is a man of subsidence and property, if not more.
更别说他自己还有产业了
Moreover, he’s a partner.
是我这个未来首相的理想女婿
A very fitting son-in-law for a future Prime Minister.
谁是未来首相？
Who is?
我
l am.
你不会觉得他们会平白无故给我测量身体数据吧？
You don’t imagine they gathered my measurements for nothing, do you?
22英寸腿长的人就是未来的首相
Show me a 22 inside leg and l’ll show you a future Prime Minister.
这是家喻户晓的事实
lt’s a well-known fact.
我现在就希望着
l expect Mrs Ethel Shroake
埃塞尔·史罗克女士能开始考虑我是否有资格当首相了
to consider my credentials any day now.
你的这个大箱子 扔掉吧
That trunk of yours, get rid of it.
这不是我的箱子
This is not my trunk.
他用绳子缠绕着自己的拇指 还在短期内暴露了他自己
He tied his thumbs up with string and exposed himself for a limited period
在巴沙特和坎伯利期间
between Bagshot and Camberley.
是你吗 先生？
Was that you, sir?
我想那是战争后期的手势
A post-war gesture, l suppose.
我希望你拆了那线
l hope you destroyed the string.
走开！走开
Get out of it! Shoo! Get out!
滚开！
Clear out!
真顽皮！
Naughty. . . !
你知道吗 我爱圣彼得堡
l love St Paul’s, you know.
我想在那和你结婚
Dearly love us to be married here.
啊！牧师！
Ah ! Vicar!
可能不久之后就需要找你的服务了
May be requiring your services soon.
我和我的未婚妻要结婚咯
My fiancée and l.
我不惊讶
l’m not surprised.
你未婚妻是个尤物 我要是你 我不会让婚礼拖得太晚的 丰满的小女人 不是吗？
l wouldn’t leave it too long, if l were you. Chubby little thing, isn’t she?
我的病人
My patient, you know.
如果你不介意的话
Well, if you’ll excuse me,
我要进去收拾一会
l’ll just go in for a minute and get spruced up a bit.
我受不了了
l can’t go through with it.
什么？
What?
有个小怪兽在肚子里
Having this monster.
没人能受得了 不是吗？
Well, no one else can have it, can they?
必须要这么做吗？ -必须要
Then it must be? -lt must be.
好吧 我会穿旧婚纱的
Well, l’ll just slip into an old wedding dress.
不 不 等会 亲爱的
No, no, wait a minute, darling.
到屏风后面去
Go behind the screen.
哦 认真的吗 亲爱的
Oh, really, darling, you’ve watched a lady undress
你之前就已经看过女士脱衣服了 不是吗？
before today, haven’t you?
当然看过 亲爱的
Of course, darling.
我会和你一起到屏风后面去
l’ll go behind the screen with you.
我真希望妈妈能活着看到这些
l wish Mother could have been alive to see it.
只是说说
Uh, just a thought.
你考虑过最新的经济套餐仪式吗？结婚离婚连着办的那种哦
Have you considered the new economical combined marriage and divorce ceremony?
3英镑1先令 天主教♥徒♥额外收费
Three pounds one shilling. Catholics extra.
不 不 我们现在负担不起离婚
No, no, we couldn’t afford the divorce just now.
她必须对婚礼满意
She’ll have to be satisfied with the wedding.
当然 等以后我赚了钱 就可以取消婚约了
Later on, of course, when l’m earning, then we can get the annulment.
这是上帝允许的 先生
Uh, this is the instant God kit, sir.
祝好运
Good luck.
在这排好
Alley-up there.
请携起手来
Would you join hands, please?
好 好
Good, good.
现在是宣誓
And now for a good book.
那顽皮的猎场看守人
# Oh, and the naughty gamekeeper
把她带到园圃
# Took her into the potting shed
双手颤抖着将她放在地上
# And laid her upon the ground
他撕裂
# And with hands quivering, he ripped. . . #
我说 注意点 那不是《圣经》
l say, look here, that’s not the Bible.
我知道 这是《查特莱夫人的情人》
l know, it’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover.
但如果你更喜欢老版的 我也可以念
But if you prefer the old twit version, l think l can still recall it.
你 布鲁斯马丁 愿意娶这个女孩子 让她成为你的合法妻子吗？
# Do you, Bules Martin, take this girl to be your lawful wedded wife?
我一直期待着你问我这个问题
# l was expecting you to ask me that question
我愿意
# As it so happens, l do
你 佩内洛普 愿意嫁给这个男人 让他成为你的合法丈夫吗？
# And do you, Penelope, take this lawful wedded man to be your husband?
我愿意
l do.
你是否愿意承诺 无论疾病还是健康
# And do you promise, Penelope Rose Frereton
无论顺境逆境
# To cherish your husband in sickness and in health
你都能始终不离不弃
# ln trial and in ordeal and in all that holy. . . #
我愿意
l do!
我说 注意点 要有点礼貌
l say, look here, there’s still some decency left.
走 亲爱的 我们离开这
Come on, darling, let’s get out of here.
停！
Stop!
我们还没结束 不是吗？
Haven’t finished, have we?
我现在宣布你们
l now pronounce you man and wife.
各就各位 预备
On your mark, get set. . .
滚出我的卧室 你个偷♥窥♥汤姆
Get out of my bedroom, you Peeping Tom.
啊 这个应该是这么用的
Ah ! This ought to do the trick.
你还有两个小时
You’ve got two hours, mate.
我不需要这个 是吧 -不！
l won’t need this, then, will l? -No!
我的天 我上次做生育能力测验是什么时候
My God ! When was my last virility test?
祝贺你 马丁女士
Congratulations, Mrs Martin.
我以为你没来
l thought you’d never get here.
打扰了 先生 我是BBC的 -有什么事？
Excuse me, sir. BBC Television. -Yes?
你是什么时候决定做一名政♥治♥家的？
When did you first decide to become a politician?
你听懂了吗？
Did you get that?
我恐怕我没听懂 你能再说一次吗？
l’m afraid l didn’t, sir. Would you like to try again?
在我被测量完大腿内侧的长度那天开始的
lt began when l measured my inside leg one day,
就像大家一样 -嗯
as we all do. -Mmm.
我发现我很适合做首相
And l found that l was very well-equipped.
好家伙！佩内洛普
Good heavens! Penelope?
你好呀 爸爸
Hello, Daddy.
你已经是马丁上尉的妻子了 你个荡♥妇♥！
But you’re promised to Captain Bules Martin, you slut.
你马上给我下来
Come down at once.
我今天早上和他结婚了 爸爸
l married him this morning, Daddy.
原来如此
So you did.
那就没事
That’s all right, then.
你继续
Carry on.
你妻子让你来的 是吗？
Wife sent you along, did she?
其实是我自己想到我可能要来复查下
Well, it did occur to me that l might review the circumstances.
你会爱上这个测试的
Huh. You’ll love it.
我无处可逃
Yeah, l can’t keep away.
你要学会爱上这个测试
You’ll learn to love your virility test.
我一直以来表现都还不错
l’ve always had a very good wind.
Mmm, oh dear.
那是谁有问题？ -当然是我妻子
Who’s wrong? -Well, my wife. . .
她 呃
She. . . Well. . .
Oh !
最好的方法是你俩之间谈论些下流的东西
Best thing, uh, best thing to do is talk dirty among yourselves.
如果还搞不出来 可以翻下那些小黄书
Well, if you can’t come to that, flick through the dirty books.
是它？
ls it?
是它？ -产期到了？
ls it? -Due?
产期到了？ -我就知道
Due? -l knew it.
噢！ -我应该穿着袜子的
Ooh ! -Should have kept my socks on.
别担心 亲爱的
Look, never mind, my love.
我去楼下装些热水
l’ll nip downstairs and get some boiling water.
来 下来
Come. Come on down.
来吧 我们都下来
Come on, we’ll just nip down.
-Oh. -Oh.
漂亮 漂亮
Pretty Poll. Pretty Poll !
女婿 你的生育测试怎么样？
Ah, did you pass your virility test, son?
我不知道 很难说
l don’t know. Hard to tell.
你看 关键时刻掉链子
You see, lights fused at the critical moment.
我的新娘呢？她可以解释
Where’s my bride? She should be able to tell.
坐下 女婿 你的新娘正在分娩
Sit down, son. Your bride is in labour.
哦 上帝
Oh, God !
爸爸 我想来一杯
Daddy, l need a drink.
你要些什么 老男孩？
What’ll you have, old boy?
