坐卧两用室（1969）

哦 那个……砰 – 就是那个
Oh, the old. . . -That’s the fellow.
嗯 那个噪音让你睡不着吗？
Yes. Did the noise keep you awake?
不 不 那天晚上我都睡过去了 其实 我当时在英国的时候还躺着呢
Oh, no, l slept through it all right. Yes. ln fact, when l was in England, still abed,
尽管是在俱乐部的椅子上 第三次世界大战就爆发了
albeit in a club chair, the Third World War took place.
我都没机会入伍
l didn’t get a chance to join the regiment.
我也是 我当时正在待命
Neither did l. l was standing by,
都准备好面对敌军了 不论敌军是谁
ready to face the enemy, whoever they might be.
呃 – 我也没发现任何敌军
Mmm. -And l couldn’t find them.
你直到敌军是谁吗？
Tell me, do you know, who was the enemy?
对此我一无所知
l haven’t the least idea. l thought, Doctor,
我觉得你可以给我开一顿早餐处方来治疗我的营养不良
l thought you might give me breakfast as a prescription against malnutrition.
哦 可以
Ah, yes. Well. . .
在 呃 在土司上放30毫克的鸡蛋
Take, um, 30 milligrams of egg on toast.
你可以在任意一个餐厅吃到这种早餐
You can get it made up at any restaurant.
哦太好了！ 我会在靴子里做好来吃的
Oh, good ! l’ll have it made up in Boots.
其实在瓶子里做更卫生些
lt’s more hygienic in bottles.
对对对 呃 这能让我痊愈吗？
Yes, yes, yes, but will it cure me, huh?
我一开始还以为要开刀呢
My first impulse is to cut and run.
谢天谢地 想不到只是说我饿坏了
Thankful, happy in the thought it’s no more than simple starvation,
但医生啊 我 我 我感觉还有别的事情
but Doctor, l, l. . . l feel it is more.
福特纳姆勋爵 我必须要对你进行全面检查了
Lord Fortnum, we must have a thorough look at you.
啊对
Uh, yes.
你请再坐下吧 -好好好
Would you sit down again, please? -Yes, yes, yes.
请抬脚
lnside and out. Feet up, please.
哇哦 你皮肤真白
Oh, your skin is very white.
我父母都是白人
My parents were white.
医生啊 自从那个东西被丢下来后 那个混♥蛋♥玩意 呃
Doctor, look. Since this thing dropped, this, this rude thing, this, um. . .
就是那个东西 我感觉我像生病了一样非常恐慌
That’s the fellow. l’ve had terrible morbid fears.
我觉得我会变成一个坐卧两用室
l think l may turn into a bed sitting room.
啊！呃那可能是原子突变吧
Ah ! Ah, that’s probably atomic mutation.
有很多关于这方面的东西 -我能做什么吗？
There’s a lot of it about. -What can l take for it?
3几尼 -啥？
Three guineas? -What?
你可以收3几尼的租金
Take three guineas, for your rent?
租金！？我不想要租金 我想被治好 我要去看别的医生
Rent! l don’t want rent, l want to be cured, l demand a second opinion.
行 对 当然 这是你的权力
Yes, well, that is your privilege, of course.
我能告诉你的是 你身上没有发现任何干腐病或者木虫的迹象
But l can tell you that there’s no evidence of dry rot or woodworm,
但最好把你的身体好好包裹起来 还要避免透♥支♥身体
but keep well wrapped up and try and keep out of overdrafts.
她每天晚上回的越来越晚了 有时候早晨才回
She gets later and later every night, and sometimes morning.
呃 可能她抽的不止一根
Well, perhaps she’s had more than one.
你要这么说 到现在的时间她都能抽半打烟了
She’s had time for half a dozen, if you ask me.
我要去把她带回来
l’m going to get her.
哦 孩子她爸 晚上就别离开我了
Oh, Father, don’t leave me at night.
晚上好可怕的 不是吗？
lt is bleedin’ night, isn’t it?
天那 这是在干啥？
God, what’s this?
确实可能发生！
A likely story!
这不是我女儿的头发
Those are not my daughter’s little hairs.
你给我出来
Out you come.
先生我可以简单解释一下
There’s a simple explanation, sir.
行 我会给你机会解释的
Yes. And l’m going to give it to you.
哦！你是哪一阶层的人？说的客气点我是抽屉最上面那一层的人 上层人
Ah ! What class of person are you? l am top drawer, to put it mildly.
你嘛 我想 你是来自下水道的下等人 我不信我会变成一个房♥子
You, l expect, are from the guttering. But l don’t believe it, about my turning,
不
no.
行吧 我能说些什么吗？
Well, what can l say?
说些什么？ -说道歉
Say? -Say sorry.
道歉？
Sorry?
对不起
Sorry.
这种情况下 仅仅是道歉压根不够好吧
That’s not nearly enough enough, under the circumstances.
其实 先生 我是个做通勤的 你懂吧 向前向后那种
Actually, sir, l’m a commuter chap. You know, backwards and forwards.
真好 -向前向后
That’s nice. -Forwards and backwards.
你怎么敢！
FATHER: How dare you !
难道说不无聊吗？ -你怎么敢把这种事情说出来？
Does it get boring? -How really dare you say such things?
还这样做了！
And do them !
呃 我很想加入你们这个家庭 我也敢肯定你们也需要多一个人手
Well, l’d be interested in joining your party, l’m sure you can use another pair of hands.
你这个肮脏的玩意还是和你自己过吧
You keep your filthy commuter hands to yourself.
从你裤子的接缝中我都能看出来你想干什么
Down the seams of your trousers, where l can see them.
她需要的是个护士
She’ll need a nurse.
对
Mmm.
好了 你可以穿好衣服了 呃 你的需求是啥来着？
Right. You can get dressed. Uh, but what is it you want?
需求 需求？
Want, want?
你是在说你对我的情况一概不知 你刚才只是在无意义的盯着我？
Do you mean to say you’ve been looking at me without regard to my condition?
你这还好不到有情况的地步
You’re not well enough to have a condition, dear.
你想要个便盆吗？
Do you want a potty?
我才不要这玩意 我想要医嘱
l want no such thing. l want an opinion.
行 我的建议嘛……
Well, in my opinion. . .
在我看来 你的墙需要重新砌来填缝
ln my opinion, you need re-pointing.
但也只是说推迟这个变成房♥子的时间罢了
But that’s only putting off the evil hour.
你看 你真正需要的是向豪♥宅♥的全面转化
What you really need, you see, is a full-scale conversion to maisonette.
也就是说我真的会变成房♥子？ – 对 我觉得会
lt’s true, then? -Oh, l expect it is.
不过别担心 亲爱的 这个操作很简单
Still, try not to worry, love. lt’s a simple op.
委员会将拨款在你里面修建浴室
And the Council will give you a grant for your bathroom.
你还没明白是吧 我不想要浴室
You don’t realise, do you, l don’t want a bathroom.
现在 如果你想要什么呢 拿着 按这里可以唤来护士
Now, if you want anything, here we are, just ring for nurse.
天哪 我掉了块砖头！
My God, l’ve dropped a brick!
快点 孩子她妈
Come along, Mother.
我们必须要去吗？孩子她爸
Must we go, Dad?
在车里面让我觉得安全
l felt safe in there.
没什么好担心的
Nothing to worry about.
我们要去哪里？
Where are we going?
这话我来说 我是这个新世界的领导者
l say that. l’m the leader of the new world.
我们要去哪 上面就是我们要去的地方 年轻人
Where we’re going, up is where we’re going, young man.
你可别忘了
And don’t you forget it.
我说 先生 你不可以这么做 这是公共财产
l say, sir, you can’t do that. That’s public property.
没关系 我就是大众的一份子
That’s all right. l am a member of the public.
公共成员
Public member.
终于！他们终于来接我了
At last! At last they’ve come to collect me.
你在这里多久了？ -三年了
How long have you been. . .? -Three years.
三年？
Three years?
快接我 接我走
Collect me, collect me.
我自从红色警报时 就已经死在这里了
l’ve been here dead since imminent warning red.
接你走恐怕要付很多钱哦
l’m afraid there’s far too much to pay.
如果你能找到我的朋友 他会付钱的
My friend will pay. lf you can find him.
现在没有什么朋友了
There are no friends left.
罗杰 这是你的箱子吗？
Roger, is this your trunk?
我吗？我的名字不是罗杰 是阿兰
Me? My name’s not Roger, it’s Alan.
罗杰的名字也不在盖子上
Roger’s name is not on the lid.
你要付25先令
lt’ll cost you 25 shillings.
啊 恐怕我没有这么多钱 先生
Oh, l’m afraid l haven’t any money, sir.
我可以借你点钱
l shall lend you some.
拿点有用的东西
Take something useful.
帮我穿上
Help me on.
哦 这既暖和又好看
MOTHER: Oh ! This is nice and warm.
哦 天呐
Oh, dear me!
恐怕我还是少三个先令 先生 我得欠着你了
l’m afraid l’m three shillings short, sir, l shall have to owe it to you.
快点走了
Come along.
你拿这个箱子做什么
What are you doing with that trunk?
做什么？我们得有行李啊 丫头
What? We’ve got to have luggage, girl.
不能因为被当成流浪者而被逮捕了
Can’t be arrested as vagrants.
走吧
Go on.
票在你那里 亲爱的
You’ve got the tickets, dear.
我听到一个传闻 先生
l hear a rumour, sir,
除了在性♥交♥时
the Pope’s now allowing contraceptives for all occasions.
教皇现在允许在所有场合使用避孕药了
Except during sexual intercourse.
你最好把头发剪剪
You’d better get your hair cut.
这事不要再提了 别多嘴了
That’s enough of that talk. Keep talk out of it!
你还好吧
You all right?
你看看 你看看 你怎么就不能多点马力呢
Look here, look here. Can’t you get more horsepower?
动起来 动起来 先生 保持移♥动♥你会更安全些
Keep moving. Keep moving, sir. You’re safer on the move.
你说什么？
What?
我不会再一直要求您继续保持移♥动♥了 先生
l shan’t, l shall not keep asking you to keep moving, sir.
你不会了？你要坚守你的职责 年轻人 我想和你的上级谈一谈
You will not? You’ll do your duty, young man. l wish to speak to your superior,