坐卧两用室（1969）

醒醒！醒一醒啊！中士 把那人弄醒
Wake up! Wake up! Sergeant, wake that man up.
警官 用警棍把他弄醒咯！
Constable, liven that man up with your truncheon.
让他的脚给我蹬起来！
Get his feet moving!
记住了 你在为整个国家供电呢
Remember, you’re electricity man to the whole nation.
橡胶？橡胶？
Rubber? Rubber?
嗯？
Eh?
好 来了来了来了！
Yes. Coming, coming, coming !
您晚上好呀
Good evening. l mean that most sincerely.
如你所见 我是BBC的 -噢！
l am the BBC, as you can see. -Oh !
我将为你播报以前的新闻
And here was the last news.
在这个第三次 或者说是第四周年纪念日里
On this, the third, or is it the fourth anniversary
纪念由核武器误解所导致的第三次世界大战
of the nuclear misunderstanding
接下来是……
which led to the Third World War, here is the. . .
噢 艹了！
Oh, sod !
……接下来是……
. . .here is the. . .
第三次世界大战 接下来是上次的新闻播报
. . .of the Third World War, here is the last recorded statement
曾经的首相
of the Prime Minister, as he then was,
在接替他政绩斐然的父亲出任新一任首相时曾说
who had just succeeded his illustrious father into office.
“我敢肯定我这样讲绝对不是在夸大其词
“l feel l am not boasting when l remind you that this was,
毫无疑问 这是人们印象中持续时间最短的战争
“without a shadow of a doubt, the very shortest war in living memory.
将签署和平条约的过程时间也计入在内的话
“Two minutes, 28 seconds, up to and including the grave process
这场战争从头到尾耗时2分28秒
“of signing the peace treaty fully blotted.
随之而来的是埋葬4000万死者这一艰巨的任务
“The great task of burying our 40 million dead
我们也是不得已但也心怀善意地埋葬了他们
“was also carried out with great expediency and good will.
大家都了解我们这个伟大的国家常常会陷于历史的泥沼之中
“You know this great country of ours often sticks in the mud of past,
从中寻找着 试图延续过去的荣光与错误”
“searches out and holds up to the light the mistakes of past times.”
辣个男人！去他的！黑格这人简直是个屠夫
That man ! Damn him ! Haig the Butcher.
我要告知世人 看看呐！
l shall tell the world. Look at that!
又一个人被屠♥杀♥了 哦 太可怕了！
Another chap butchered. Oh, the horror!
哦 太可怕了！我看不下去了！
Oh, the horror! l can’t look!
“种族歧视造成的腐♥败♥让我们悲痛欲绝
“We eat our hearts out with the canker of racialism
苏伊士以东的死伤也让我们心如刀割
“and death east of Suez.
但我不禁要问：我们已经忘了那次轰炸了吗？“
“But l am forced to ask, have we forgotten the bomb?”
如你们所知
The Prime Minister had, as you all know,
首相在参加完第449届裁军会议后归来
just returned from the 449th Disarmament Conference
”毛♥泽♥东♥“在十号♥楼的楼下迎接首相
and was greeted on the steps of Number 10 by Mao Tse-tung.
主席亲切地邀请我进屋商议
The Chairman has invited me kindly in.
我现在无法透露太多
l can’t say very much at the moment,
但可以肯定 接下来的协商将会十分艰难
but there will be some pretty hard bargaining, you may be sure.
到此为止 十分感谢 各位 谢谢
That’s all. Thank you very much, gentlemen, thank you.
哦 福特纳姆勋爵 这里是BBC电视台
Ah, Lord Fortnum. BBC Television.
在我们等待首相官方声明的同时 来一个临时采访
Off the cuff, while we’re waiting for a statement,
你这帽子真好看 真的
l like your hat, l do.
真的吗？你也这么觉得？
Do you? Do you say that?
这么跟你说 这是最新的预警帽
l tell you, it’s the latest early warning hat.
他能让你在床上多睡那么四分钟
lt gives you that extra four minutes in bed.
我在床上的时候从不戴帽子 而且我很早就皈依天主教了
l never wore a hat in bed, l’ve been a Catholic person for a long time now,
我都不知道该从何采访起了 这是你的车吗？先生
and l wouldn’t know where to begin. ls this your car, sir?
是的呢 我从一个叫斯♥诺♥登的勋爵那得来的
lt is, l acquired it from Lord Snowdon.
有不止一位斯♥诺♥登勋爵？ -斯♥诺♥登勋爵可不止一位嘞
Not the Lord Snowdon? -No, a Lord Snowdon.
哦 对 森林里的确都是雪堆 再见先生
Ah, yes, the woods are full of them. Goodbye, sir.
这采访还不错 是吧？
Said that very well, didn’t he?
首相…
The Prime Minister. . .
首相快要出来了
The Prime Minister is coming out.
首相 能否透露…… -能 我能透露
Prime Minister, can you say. . . -Yes, l can say.
可以这样讲 我对矛盾冲突不存在丝毫畏惧
l can say without any fear of contradiction,
我能透露 在一番艰难的商议后
after some pretty tough bargaining, l can say,
我们最后将10号♥的租金定在了一个不可透露的区间内
we have finally fixed the rent of Number 10 at an undisclosed figure
每周的租金介于100人♥民♥币和100英镑之间
of 1 00 yen pounds per week.
这个租约意味着我们处于和平时期
This lease means peace in our time.
观众朋友们 今天的新闻就播送到这里了
That, l’m afraid, was the end of the news.
我们的下一个项目将于夏季法定假期上线
Our next scheduled programme will be on August Bank Holiday,
为了争夺”年度最佳运动员“的称号♥
when Charlton Heston will wrestle His Holiness the Pope
届时查尔顿赫斯顿与教皇陛下将会进行一场比拼
for the Sportsman of the Year title.
晚安前的最后 请所有人起立站远
Until then, all walk backwards into long shot while good night is given.
上帝保佑埃塞尔·史罗克女士
# God save Mrs Ethel Shroake
上帝保佑埃塞尔·史罗克女士
# Long live Mrs Ethel Shroake
上帝保佑埃塞尔·史罗克女士
# God save Mrs Ethel Shroake
上帝保佑住在莱顿斯通的高街393A号♥的埃塞尔·史罗克女士
# Of 393A High Street, Leytonstone #
晚安
Good night.
喂！喂！
Here! Here!
从电视机里出来 该轮到我们看电视新闻了
Come out of that television set. lt’s our turn for the telly news.
哦 是吗？ -你是区访问播音员吧？
Oh, is it? -Are you the District Visiting Announcer?
是 对的 你想要听些什么？
Yes, that’s right. Have you any requests?
你能放送《新加坡之衰》吗？
Can you do the fall of Singapore?
哦 能 当然能
Oh, yes, certainly.
今夜 日本侵略势力到达了新加坡
Tonight, Japanese invasion forces reached Singapore.
哦 老兄
Oh, dear!
哦！ -我不大记得你的名字
Ah ! -l didn’t quite catch the name.
你是医生吗 医生？
Are you a doctor, Doctor?
我确实是 -我没靴子 我从不♥穿♥靴子
l advertise. -No boots. l don’t wear them.
我也不会穿着靴子远行的
And l don’t travel in them.
年轻人 别对我那么刻薄
Don’t be sharp with me, young man.
这是我的名片
My card.
肯宁顿及周边地区的蒸汽洗衣店
“Kennington and District Steam Laundry.”
哦 很高兴见到你
Oh, l am pleased to meet you.
哦 不 那不是我 那个是我收钱留空打的广♥告♥
Oh, no, that’s not me. l’ve let the space for advertising.
我的介绍在另一面 阿♥拉♥曼的福特纳姆勋爵
l am other side, Lord Fortnum of Alamein,
一个当兵的他自己生活困难
l acquired the title from a soldier person
因此他将这个头衔传给了我
who found himself on hard times.
他有心理疾病还是说军队过剩他被强制退伍了？
With psychiatry or army surplus?
我觉得两者皆有吧
l think he had to do with all of that.
关于台灯我们倒是协商过了 我和他一人一个
And table lamps were negotiable. We all got one.
我不想动手术
l don’t require surgery.
我需要诊断后再做决定 福特纳姆勋爵
l shall decide that, Lord Fortnum.
那么你是想我当你的私人医生还是说用国家健康保险就医呢？
Now, do you want it privately or on the National Health?
好 -好什么？
Yes. -What?
好 我想用国家健康保险付钱让你当我的私人医生
Yes, l want it privately, on the National Health.
哦！你今晚回家真早呢 孩子她爸
Ah ! You’re home early tonight, Father.
地铁线上的最后一份了 -哇哦！
The last bar on the Circle Line. -Oh !
我要去抽根烟
l think l’ll have a smoke.
总有一天你会回不来的
One of these days, you’ll not come back.
你会被健康访问员带回来 还抽烟
Be brought back by the health visitor, smoking.
你自己明白的 但你还是要去抽烟
You know, and yet you persist,
你也知道我不会允许你出隔间的
you know that l don’t approve of you leaving the compartment.
她锻炼的不够
She doesn’t get enough exercise on the whole.
比较已经……已经多久了来着？
After all, it’s been. . . How long’s it been?
自从……亲爱的？
lt’s been since. . . Dear?
呃 自从……自从……
That, since the. . . Since, well. . .
反正我们过的还不错啦
Still, we’ve managed very well.
我希望那一盒是巧克力
l expect it’s the choccy bars.
我喜欢丰满的女人
l like my women chubby built.
我觉得她抽烟是为了减点肥
l think she smokes to try to keep her weight down.
哎 我希望地铁线上能多几个她的同龄人
Oh, l wish there was more people of her own age on the Circle Line
他们能陪陪她 一起抽烟
she could perhaps smoke with.
那可不是个好习惯 孩子她妈呀 不过她一直喜欢抽烟
lt’ll be a damn fast habit, Mother. Oh, she’s always at it.
哦行了
Ah, well. . .
现在你听着 我也是有个承受极限的哦 你知道吧
Now, look here, there’s a limit to what l’ll do, you know.
就这吧？好的 我们来试试 行吗？
ls there? Well, let’s go as far as that, then, shall we?
行 啊！呃 习惯了之后
Yes. Huh ! Well, it’s not unpleasant
也不会让人心情不好 -是啊
when one gets used to it. -Yes.
呃 你知道吧
Well, you know,
你气色不佳啊
you’ve been a bit off colour.
是 我知道 更严重的是我还没吃东西呢
Yes, l have. And what’s more l’m not eating anything.
为什么不吃呢？-呃 我得不到吃的
Why is that? -Well, l can’t get the stuff.
哦 你看 今天早上我把这个镶嵌了一下
Ah, but look, l had this mounted, this very morning.
镶嵌上了十八克拉的霍维斯
Eighteen carat Hovis.
好 跟我讲讲吧
Well, tell me about it, more.
行 本来万事顺心 直到…
Well, things were going swimmingly until that. . .
呃 直到他们丢下了那个 你知道是啥的吧
Well, until they dropped the, well now, you know. . .