终极天将

发生什么事了 非常抱歉 先生
-What is the matter? -I’m terribly sorry, sir.
我们将会重新演出第二幕 这谁
-We were about to start the second act. -Who is this?
我不知道 像是个老疯子
I’ve no idea. Some old lunatic.
他是蒙乔生男爵
He’s Baron Munchausen.
哦
Oh, I see.
是蒙乔生男爵本尊哟
The real Baron Munchausen.
是的 实实在在的本尊 且问先生 您又是谁呢
Yes, indeed. And who, sir, may I ask are you?
我是公务员
A public servant.
我是负责
I am responsible for, among other things…
这剧场的认可
the licensing of this theatre.
这是R.O.贺瑞提欧 杰克森
This, sir, is the Right Ordinary Horatio Jackson who just happens…
他开始赢了这场战争 并解救这城市
to be winning the war and saving the city.
请你离开这里
Now please leave us!
他是狗屁 只有我才能结束这场战争
-He’s an ass. Only I can end this war. -Explain yourself.
我能结束它 因为是我引起的
I can end it because I began it.
而我就是起因
I am the cause.
我怕的是 先生 你并未全然理解真实现况
I’m afraid, sir, you have rather a weak grasp of reality.
你所谓的事实 先生 全都是鬼扯的胡言乱语
Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash…
我很乐意的说 我并不须去理解还是啥的
and I’m delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!
这人u3000要就医了
This man obviously needs a doctor.
医生
A doctor?
我们将继续演出
We will continue with the show.
谢谢大♥法♥官
Thank you very much, Your Ordinaryness. Off!
快停止吧 拜托请你讲讲理
Please be reasonable.
如果我们不能完成演出 他将把我们丢去土耳其
If we don’t get on with it, he’ll throw us to the Turks
我要的是它
I’ll get on with it!
告诉他们该怎么做
Show them how it should be!
殿下
My lords…
以及各位先生女士
ladies and gentlemen…
蒙乔生男爵在此为您服务
Baron Munchausen, at your service.
新来个不同的鼻子
Pruned any noses recently?
唱首歌♥吧 不 拜托
-Give us a song! -No. Please.
多数的人都不记得我 或我的冒险故事
Most of you won’t remember me or my adventures…
但我对你们保证
but I assure you…
出自我言绝无虚假
they are true.
事实上
The truth is…
是因为我 这城市才被围击
I am the cause of this siege.
别傻了 关土耳其人是什么事呢
-Don’t be stupid! -What about the Turks then?
那土耳其是怎回事 这是个边界纷争
You’re the cause of the border dispute, are you?
我们在对抗海上航线
What? It’s the sea routes we’re fighting for!
不 不是这样
No, it isn’t!
那是上回啦
That was last time!
你们真无知 被骗的傻瓜们
You poor deluded fools!
如果你们可以
If you’ll only do me the courtesy…
对我这绅士礼貌点
of accepting the word of a gentleman…
我将揭露这
I will reveal the true cause…
战争的事实
of this war.
而后我的…
After my…
哦 亲爱的…
Oh, dear.
而后我的埃及之旅回程时
After my return from Egypt…
受到了土耳其帝国
I was most warmly welcomed…
最热烈的欢迎
by the grand Turk…
他们国度最尊贵的苏丹王
his highness, the sultan…
他早知我的声誉
who knew of my reputation…
而非常尊敬我
and held me in high esteem.
他非常乐意与我的伙伴
In fact, so delighted was he with my company…
进入他的后宫
that he offered me access to his harem.
有天…继续
-One day…-Go on!
王拿给我一瓶托凯葡萄酒
the sultan brought me a bottle of his favorite Tokay.
你觉得如何呢
What do you think of that, eh?
不赖
Not bad.
不赖 亲爱的蒙乔生
Not bad? My dear Munchausen…
已没有任何可能找到更好的了
it’s impossible to find better.
听你胡说
Humbug, Your Majesty.
我可以在一个小时内
What do you wager that I won’t procure…
为你拿到特优等的托凯葡萄酒
within the hour, a bottle of Tokay far superior to this…
维也纳皇室酒窖的
from the imperial cellar in Vienna…
来自千里外的
a mere thousand odd miles away?
接受我的挑战吧
Accept my challenge.
如果失败 你可取下我的人头
If I don’t succeed, you may cut off my head.
这些都是我的赌注 你的赌注是什么
These are my stakes. What are yours?
我接受
I accept.
如果你赢了
And if you succeed…
我的赌本是宝藏 看你那大力士抬得动多少
you may take as much treasure as the strongest man can carry.
同意 给我笔和墨水 我得马上写封信给女皇
Agreed. Give me pen and ink, and I will write to the empress immediately.
勃透德
Berthold!
过来
Coming!
哦 轰 抱歉 老弟们
Oh, blast! Sorry, chaps.
我得离开了
I’ve got to go.
带这信去维也纳 交给女皇
Take this to Vienna, to the empress.
她将给你一瓶酒 直接拿来给我
She will give you a bottle of wine. Bring it straight to me.
好
Right-o.
你想要些娱乐在等待之时吗
Perhaps you would care for a little light entertainment while you wait.
我做了个小歌♥剧
I have been composing a short opera.
想听看看吗 不 谢谢你
-Would you like to hear a song or two? -No, thank you.
你会爱上它的 是出喜剧
Oh, you’ll love it. It’s a comedy.
名叫”拷问者的学徒”
It’s called, “The Torturer’s Apprentice.”
这是序曲
Here’s the overture.
幕…
The curtain…
当幕升起 出现个很典型拷问室
The curtain rises on a typical everyday torture chamber.
尤士瑞克 是个年轻的学徒 在工作中愉快地歌♥唱
Yosrick, the young apprentice, sings of his joy in his job.
一个拷问者的学徒 进行令他开心的工作方式一天
A torturer’s apprentice went his merry way to work one day
我折曲又拉直 重复着这熟练的工作
I bend and stretch and ply my trade
让群众都很害怕
Making people all afraid
但工作懈惰时
But things look black Business is slack
只剩我一人在拷问台上
There’s no one on the rack but me
第四幕场景设在一个屠宰场…
Act four is set in an abattoir.
我看到一堆搞笑的打闹剧
I see a lot of slapstick.
我们开始和太监合唱
We begin with the arrival of the eunuchs’ chorus who sing…
砍首吧
“Cut Off in My Prime.”
我的头呀 我的头
My heads, my heads.
砍首吧
Cut off in my prime
围绕着
Surrounded
被美女们
By beautiful women all the time
太监的一生是苦命的
A eunuch’s life is hard
别无其他
And nothing else
抱歉 我离开一下
Excuse me a moment.
你不会想错过这段的
Oh, you won’t want to miss this aria.
这让我想起了 在英格兰我上学的日子
It reminds me of my school days in England.
人生宁可像个游戏
Life is rather like a game
重点是你是否赢了…
It’s important that you win
虽然它看起来是可怕的耻辱
And though it seem a terrible shame
如果你用撒谎和欺骗
If you lie and cheat
和犯罪的方法
And sin
打赢
Lay up and win
游戏
The game
稳住
Steady.
勃透德在哪了
Where the hell’s Berthold?
不知道 我以为他和你在一起
-Don’t know. -I though he was with you.
在3分半钟内他还不出现
Well, if he’s not here in three and a half minutes…
苏丹王将砍下我的头
the sultan will cut off my head!
还有吗 还有吗
-And? -And?
就这样
Is that all?
抱歉 我看不出哪里有趣 你呢
I’m sorry, I don’t find that funny. Do you?
这不是玩笑 是个赌注
This isn’t a joke! It’s a wager!
赌注
A wager!
他睡着了 我听的到他的鼾声
He’s asleep. I can hear him snoring.
约900哩外 快点
-About 900 miles away. -Come on.
在棵树下 近贝尔格勒
He’s under a tree! Near Belgrade.
什么 有个瓶子在他旁边
-What? -There’s a bottle beside him.