四十岁的老处男（2005）

I heard Dave gave youthe box of porn.
是啊
Yeah, he did.
你看了那个, 恩, 黄金现场…
You ever watch, like,Primetime Live…
当他们在酒店房♥间打开黑灯…
when they take a black lightinto a hotel room…
你就看到那些精♥子♥布满床单?
and show you all the semenall over the bedspread?
是啊
Yeah.
你用箱子遮住一个
You blind someone with that box.
就可以从孔隙中看到那东西
Could see that thing from space.
你看到的这个是大荧幕电视中的本特利
This right here, you looking atthe Bentley of big screen TVs.
我说的是电视中的劳斯莱斯….
I’m talking about, this is the Rolls-Royceof big screens…
有时我会认为这些蝴蝶就在这里
Sometimes, I think these butterfliesare in here.
我想他可能在愚弄我们
I think he might be fooling us all,though.
真的?
Really?
我事实上认为他的确是天才…
I actually think he might be,like, some genius…
就像大的,恩, 欢闹的….
and this is like some big,like, hilarious…
他已经厌倦了工作想摆脱些东西…
Like he’s bored at work and hejust wanted to kick up some shit…
所以他告诉我们他是处♥男♥
so he told us all he’s a virgin.
你看到了很多东西都不在这里
You’re seeing that a lot of stuffthat’s not there.
你全部注意力都集中在他身上了
You’re just projecting all over him.
他也许是一个超级傻瓜…
He might be an idiot savant…
但是他不, 比如 足够聪明可以到那个深度了
but he’s not, like,clever enough to go that deep.
但是他很强壮
But he’s got a great body.
你能收拾他吗? 纽约时间
Would you fuck him?- In a New York minute.
你要收拾他? 绝对
You would fuck him?- Absolutely.
嘿, Andy, 中午吃什么?
Hey, Andy, what are you doingfor lunch?
不知道，我有火鸡三明治
I don’t know.I have a turkey sandwich.
我们去街角那里. 和我们一起吧
We’re gonna go around the corner.I think you should come with us.
那地方不错 很多漂亮妞
There’s this great place.A lot of cute giris.
我不知道. 好吧
I don’t know. Okay.
我们给你一件衬衫
We brought you a shirt.
这里看其俩很奇特
This place is pretty fancy.
有什么事情吗?
Something going on?
嘿，谁准备好了找乐子?
Hey, who’s readyto have some fun?
嘿，伙计们….
Hey, guys…
不，别忽略我 我知道这是什么
No, don’t ignore me.I know what this is.
1个小时之内,你们每个人都会有20次约会
Within one hour,you’ll each have 20 dates.
别….别这样 我在黄金直播中看到这个了
Don’t… Please don’t do this.I saw this on Primetime Live.
好吧，忍♥者师♥傅♥
All right, ninja master.
我们已经给了你所有我们能给你的建议
We’ve given you all the advicewe have to give.
你现在要付诸于行动了
Now you gonna put it in action.
建议? 你们给我的建议都各不相同
Advice? You guys allgave me different advice.
他认为你是一个瘾君子 我是
He thinks you’re a pothead.- I am.
伙计，嘿，哥们 你还发什么牢骚?
Dude. Hey, partner.What are you whining about?
你要求这个垃圾 不，我没有
You asked for this shit.- No, I didn’t.
你能不能别像婊♥子♥一样发牢骚?
Will you just quit whininglike a bitch?
我没有像婊♥子♥一样发牢骚 你就是像婊♥子♥一样发牢骚
I’m not whining like a bitch.- You are whining like a bitch.
你可以在1天里坐到拉皮条的十年做的事情
And you about to cramlike 10 years of pimpage into one day.
我可不想像拉皮条的…. 而且在此之后…
I don’t want to cram pimpage.- And after that…
你已经到了我的这个层次了. 来吧
you on my level. Come on.
就是问问题 真是一个坏主意
Just ask questions.- This is a bad idea.
嗨 嗨，你好吗?
Hi.- Hi. How are you?
我很好
I’m fine.
你好吗?
Are you fine?
是的
Yeah.
那么你很好?
You’re fine then?
你♥他♥妈♥的是弱智吗? 你究竟有什么毛病?
Are you fucking retarded?What the hell’s the matter with you?
你想让我成为他妈的弱智吗?
Do you want me to be fucking retarded?
但我看着孩子们和他们父母的眼睛的时候…
When I look into the eyesof the children and the parents…
他们微笑着说:
and they are smiling and saying:
谢谢你, Montalban医生 你救了我的孩子们’…
“Thank you, Dr. Montalban,you saved my child”…
这很值得
it was worth it.
Amy…
你在这里做什么?
David.- …what are you doing here?- David.
你是Gina?
Gina- And you are Gina?- Gina.
嘿，怎么了? 没什么
Hey, what’s up?- Nothing.
听着，我对你说实话吧
Look, I’m going to bereal honest with you.
我已经很久没和男人在一起了
It’s been a long timesince I’ve been with a man.
我花了很多时间都和女人在一起
Spent a lot of time with the ladies.
我很想再回到那个大老二的男人身边
Looking to get back upon that pogo stick.
明白我再说什么吗 什么
You know what I’m saying?- Excuse me.
记得那次我们做♥爱♥，你在我怀中哭?
Remember that time when we made loveand you cried in my arms?
请不要再回忆我们做♥爱♥的事情了, 求你了
Please don’t reminisce aboutthe times we fucked, please.
让我感到不安 我们去巴黎吧
It’s so creepy.- Let’s go to Paris.
我要带你到埃弗尔铁塔下面做♥爱♥
I want to take you underneaththe Eiffel Tower and make love to you.
住口 什么?
Cut it out.- Cut what out?
不要提什么巴黎了! 我们已经分手2年了
This go to Paris! We’ve been broken upfor like two years, man.
我不想再和你约会了
I don’t want to date you anymore.
你这个妓♥女♥ 我不是妓♥女♥
You’re a whore.- I am not a whore.
我只是不喜欢你
I just didn’t like you.
这就是我们老样子
This is so us.
变♥态♥的谈话 什么?
Psycho talk.- What?
你很英俊 谢谢你
You’re a good-looking man.- Thank you.
很漂亮 真的很柔软精巧的面容
Very pretty.Real soft, delicate features.
你很女人，知道吗，很适合我…
You’re real feminine, you know,which is good for me…
因为这会是一个简单的转换过程
because that would bea simple sort of transition.
你知道我再说什么吗?
You know what I’m saying?
你擦点胭脂, 把你的蛋绑在后面
Maybe throw a little rougeon you, tuck your sac back.
你要玩吗? 不
You game?- No.
你不要再缠着我的朋友了, 明白吗?
You need to stop fucking aroundwith my friend, okay?
因为你给了他希望, 而且让他疯狂
Because you’re giving him hope,and it’s driving the man crazy.
我搬家了 我更换了我的电子信箱地址 还有我的电♥话♥号♥码
I moved, I changed my e-mail address,my phone number.
实际上是他在纠缠我
He’s practically stalking me.
嗯，我什么也不知道 那，我很抱歉
Well, I didn’t know all that.So, I’m sorry.
我爱明尼苏达
I love Minnesota.
我在明尼阿波利斯外的一个小镇长大的…
I grew up in a townoutside of Minneapolis…
人口只有500人左右，很少
with a population of, like,500 people. Really small.
是啊，就像一个千湖岛
Yeah, it’s likethe Land of a Thousand Lakes.
你呢?你曾经在一个大城市吗
What about you? You’re used to, like,a really big city.
真的…. 上帝啊, 是
Really… God, yes.
我成长的那个小镇真的很小，我的意思是…
The town that I grew up inwas really small. I mean…
很安全，没有犯罪
you know, it was just so safe.There was no crime.
我的意思是，一个女孩可以从一个镇到另一个…
I mean, a girl could just walkfrom one end of town to the other…
就那么简单 感觉完全安全
and just, you know,feel completely safe.
你想他是不是够了?
You suppose he’s had enough?
油箱又一次充满了
Spank bank has once again been filled.
我告诉你哪一个最热辣吧
I’ll tell you who’s the hottest.
你回认为我疯了 让我告诉你： Gina
You’re gonna think I’m crazy.Let me tell you. Gina.
我满脑子都是她 挥之不去
Can’t get va-Gina out of my head.Va-Gina all week.
多有趣的游戏阿? 嗯?
You know what’s a fun game?- Huh?
…要吃三片阿司匹林
You take three Excedrin PMs…
在你睡着前能否被击倒
and you see if you could whack offbefore you fall asleep.
你总是赢 这就是游戏里面最棒的地方
You always win is the best partabout the game.
你是Andy? 是的
Are you Andy?- Yeah.
这个是你的吗? 是你写的这些东西?
Is this yours?Did you write this stuff?
我女朋友, Jill 发现了你写的速配卡片
My girlfriend, Jill,found your speed-dating card.
是的，是啊
Yeah, right.
上帝,我一直在找这个
God, I’ve been lookingfor that speed-dating card.
非常感谢你拿来给我
Thank you so muchfor bringing it to me.
那么是你写的，有一个女孩像个傻瓜…
So, you actually wrotethat one girl looked like…
她”吊凯子”?
she was”hurting for a squirting”?
嗯，是啊 吊凯子 我写的
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Hurting for a squirting,I wrote that.
那么你还写了 一个跳脱衣舞的妓♥女♥
So you wrote “ho fo show.”
是的，我记得这个女孩 她是一个妓♥女♥
Yeah, I remember that girl.She was a ho.
跳脱衣舞的
Fo show.
让我给你演示这个设备是如何工作的
Let me show youhow this device works.
我想要一个无绳电♥话♥
Right, I’m just lookingfor a cordless phone.
是的，很棒的 你可以做任何事情，视频日记….
Yup, it’s great. You can do anything,make video diaries…
恩, Amy, 你过得如何? 你感觉如何? 我很好
Hey, Amy, how’s it going?How you feeling? I’m great.
我们分手以后感觉好极了
I feel fantastic since we broke up.
我感觉棒极了!
I feel awesome!
你能告诉我买♥♥电♥话♥的柜台吗?
Can you just show me the departmentwhere there would be phones?