四十岁的老处男（2005）

不 就像那的功能一样
No.- As good as it gets.
好吧 听起来不错,那么
Okay, that sounds good, then.
好吧
Okay, all right.
真是太棒了 对不起
It’s perfect.- Sorry.
过去吧
Coming through.
好
Okay.
上帝, 你知道吗 有趣的是我就在街对面工作…
God, you know, it’s so funny,I work right across the street…
我却从来没有来过这家店
and I’ve never been in this place.
是吗? 在哪工作? 是啊
Really? Where at?- Yeah.
就是那家”我们在ebay上买♥♥你们的货”
The “We Sell Your Stuff On eBay”store.
哦 就是这个名字?
Yes.- And that’s the name?
是啊，我在找些东西…
Yeah, I was looking for something…
很显然，所以我选择这个
…you know, obvious.So I chose that.
我不太明白 你是做什么的?
I don’t understand.So, what, you do what?
嗯，我们把那些你们不想要的东西…
Well, I take the stuffthat you don’t want…
在eBay上买♥♥
and then I “sell” it on eBay.
但是你们并不是真的在店里卖♥♥东西?
But you don’t actuallysell anything in the store?
嗯，是的
No. I don’t.
那你们为什么还要有一个商店呢?
So why do you have a store?
我不知道
I don’t know.
不, 我想也许是因为 我想让人看起来比较专业…
No, I think it’s because, you know,I wanna maybe look professional…
也不想给人以为是偷东西以后销赃的
and not like a crazy personwho’s just gonna steal all your shit.
哦，我没有其他意思
Sure. I didn’t mean anything by that.
嗯，没什么
No, it’s okay.
你知道吗, 也许你有机会来我的店里…
You know what, you should come by sometimeif you want, you know…
看看有没有你需要的东西
see it for yourself, check it out.
我回去参观你的空店的
I’ll check out your empty store.
好,就是街对面那家 不是空的
Yeah, it’s the one across the streetthat’s not empty.
这是我的电♥话♥号♥码….
Here’s my number. So…
好的 任何时间打给我都可以
All right.- So, just anytime.
既然你的店就在对面 为什么你还给我电♥话♥号♥?
Why do I need your numberif you’re across the street, though?
我没有一个好的答案, Andy 我就是….
I don’t really have a good answerfor that, Andy. I just…
对不起 就是给你电♥话♥了
Sorry.- Just giving it to you.
好，我记下了，我们收款处见
So I’ll write you up,and I’ll meet you over at the register.
好的 去付款吧….
Okay.- And check you out… Check out.
好吧，那边见 好的
Okay, see you over there.- Okay.
好
Okay.
恐怖的多嘴怪吧 嘿….
Awful chatty.- Hey…
看，我想她给我她的电♥话♥号♥码了
Look, I think she gave meher number.
她写下了她的电♥话♥号♥码, 但是我想她给了我她的电♥话♥号♥码
She wrote down her number,but I think she gave me her number.
不，她给你电♥话♥号♥码了? 伙计，哥们
No, she gave you.- Dude, man.
你还生我的气吗?
See, you still mad at me?
不，从来都没有 好，现在你明白我的意思了吧?
No, I was never.- Right, you see what I mean?
是啊，我们要庆祝一下,伙计 对吧
Yeah, we gonna celebrate it, man.Yeah.
真得很不错 是啊
This is pretty cool.- Yeah.
难以置信 得了给他点表扬, 兄弟
Unbelievable.- Come on, give him some credit, man.
他都拿到电♥话♥号♥了
The man pulled a number.
就是…. 我在…. 我无法相信这个事情发生了
It’s just… I was in…I can’t believe that happened.
那你对你手中的电♥话♥号♥怎么说
What you did with you’s own hand.
伙计，她刚刚给了我她的电♥话♥号♥
Man, she just gave me her number.
太棒了，伙计 我告诉过你，爱情就是如此神秘
That’s great, man. I’m telling you,love is a mysterious fig.
是啊
It is.
好了，问题是 我什么时候应该给她打电♥话♥?
Okay, here’s a question.When should I call her?
你喜欢她? 是啊
You like her?- Yeah.
你一定不想给她打电♥话♥
You definitely don’t want to call her.
下届奥♥运♥会什么时候?
When is the next Olympics?
那么你要做的就是…
So what you just got to do is…
就像打老鼠机一样…
just get you a bunchof these hood rats…
从他们之间, 击倒他们
run through them,just knock them out.
嘭 嘭 嘭
Boom, boom, boom.
当你杀死了20到30只老鼠的时候…
And once you’ve done slayed like 20,30 of them hood rats…
你就可以准备升级了
now you ready to go upto the upper echelon type ho.
知道我的意思吗? 我可可不喜欢叫妓♥女♥
You know what I mean?- I’m not a big ho runner.
我叔叔经常叫妓♥女♥
My uncle used to drive a ho runner.
让这些推力见鬼去吧 用他的话说…
Screw these analogies.What he’s saying is…
你第一次做♥爱♥要很坏…
you are going to be so badat sex the first time…
你不想和你喜欢的人做♥爱♥…
you don’t want to have sexwith someone you like…
因为她们会因为你不行而感到奇怪
’cause they’ll think you’re a weirdofor being so lame at it.
你应该先找别人做♥爱♥试一下…
You want to have sexwith hood rats first…
等到你和你喜欢的女孩做♥爱♥的时候…
so that by the timeyou get to the girl you do like…
你的性经验就不会太差 你就会发挥得很正常
you’re not terrible at sex,you’ll be mediocre at it.
虽然也许依然会很糟
Probably still pretty bad, though.
先别管这些了，先管号♥码
Let’s put it up for my manfor pulling that number.
该上路了, 伙计 已经讲得天花乱坠了
Way to go, man.- Politicked his ass off.
你的确讲得好 多谢了
You did politic.- Thanks a lot.
就像火车转弯一样，你准备好了吗?
Like a train, round the bend.You ready?
对
Yeah.
我不能 快点
I can’t.- Do it.
我不能在公共场合撒尿 必须这么做
I can’t pee in public.- Gotta do it.
我有心理顾虑
I’ve got a mental block about it.
得了，快点 我很害羞!
Come on, do it.- I’m shy!
我在公共场合撒尿了!
I peed in public!
放我出去 我听不见你说什么
Let me out.- I can’t hear what you’re saying.
我不想呆在这里 这个房♥间是隔音的
I don’t want to be in here.- It’s a soundproof room.
学点技术吧 好极了，伙计
Just learn the techniques.- Right on, man.
你们，这并不好玩!
You guys, this is not funny!
喂
Hello.
嘿，你在看什么?
Hey, what you watching?
僵尸黎明？伙计 太棒了
Dawn of the Dead, man.- Great.
店里没什么人 Paula 已经走了
The store is slow.Paula’s gone.
什么 Paula回来了? 不，她不在
Yo, is Paula back?- No. She’s not here.
她说我们不能在这里看 你确定?
She said we can’t watch this in here.- You sure?
我知道 我可以和你说点私事吗?
I know.Can I ask you something in confidence?
我知道这听起来也许很怪
I know this is gonna sound weird.
我看起来帅吗?
Am I good-looking?
你认为女人会发现我比较吸引人吗?
Do you think a womanwill find me attractive?
咆哮 哦，我的天!
Oh, my God!
哦，我的天! 真血腥 好吧，不用在意了
Oh, my God, the blood just…- Okay, never mind.
等一下, Andy 等一下
Wait, Andy. Hold up.
听着,这让我很难堪 很难说出口的
Listen, this is embarrassing for me.This is hard to talk about.
要听实话吗? 是的
Are you ready for my honest answer?- Yes.
是的，我认为你对小妞很有吸引力
Yeah.I think you’re a good-looking cat.
我不认为每个人都知道…
I don’t think that anybody knows it…
我也不认为每个人都能看到
and I don’t think anybody can see it.
恩,这就是我为什么要问你
Well, that’s why I’m asking you.
你看起来穿着很整齐 你很会搭配衣服
You seem really well-groomedand really put together.
我的意思是，听着，伙计 你认为这是个意外?
I mean, look, dude.You think this was an accident?
全部的这些? 这是精心装扮过的 伙计
All of this right here?Premeditated, partner.
你必须要凸现你的特质 向天然的钻石一样
You gotta highlight your attributes,like a diamond in the rough.
你得有些牺牲，行吗?
You willing to make some sacrifices?
这个当然
Absolutely.
你看到你的那些胸毛了吗?
You see that whole Teen Wolf thingyou got going right there?
你的把他们去掉
You need to wax that right out.
疼吗? 不. 去毛不会疼的
Does it hurt?- No. Waxing don’t hurt.
我的意思, 不会疼，除非你像女人一样脆弱 明白我的意思了吗?
I mean, not unless you’re a bitch.You know what I mean?
我经常去做，一点也不疼
It didn’t hurt me.I get it done all the time.
尖叫 真♥他♥妈♥的见鬼!
What the fuck!
把那个黑鬼干掉!
Fuck that nigger up!
贱♥人♥, 快从房♥间里出来!
Bitch, get out of the room!
着一定很棒
This is gonna be good.
就是他要除毛? 嘿，你好吗?
This the one right here, right?- Hi, how are you?
这是你第一次来除毛?
So this is your first timegetting body waxed?
是的
Yes, it is.
脱掉衣服 好的
Take off your shirt.- Okay.
我们需要更多的除毛胶布
We’re gonna need more wax.
我要等着看看，一定会很有趣
I’m staying.This is gonna be good.
取消我今天下午其他所有的预约
And clear all my appointmentsin the afternoon.
我们开始吧
Here we go.
感觉很温暖
That feels warm.
我喜欢你的“毛衣” 可以来一个V字领的吗?
I like your sweater.Does that come in a V-neck?