四十岁的老处男（2005）

See you later.Thanks for the dance.
我很好. 没事
I’m okay. It’s all right.
哦，拜托, 大客!
Oh, come on, bus!
哦，见鬼，狗也是!
Oh, come on, dogs!
见鬼! 简直是疯了
Shit! You gotta be kidding me.
我的意思是, 我有些紧张 我从来没做过爱
I mean, I’m kind of nervous.I never had oral sex before.
Jennifer 告诉我怎么做了 一定会很爽的
Jennifer told me how to do it.It’s gonna kick ass.
你在做什么?
What are you doing?
好了, 快了…. 差不多了
Okay, just…We’re almost there.
我们有了 Houston,我们有了
We have one.Houston, we have one.
你把我的该死的头发拽掉了!
You’ll pull my fucking hair out!
我们做到了 上帝啊!
We did it.- God!
噢，我的上帝 你穿上裤子
Oh, my God,you came in your pants.
你做了什么? 我这有些增白面霜
What did you do?- I had some Cream of Wheat.
你知道什么比较性感吗? 什么?
You know what else is sexy?- What?
我… 恩?
Me…- Yeah?
…吸吮…
…sucking…
你的…
on your…
脚趾
toe.
这就是你要吸吮的? 是啊
That’s what you want to suck on?- Yeah.
真是又大又粗. 好
It’s just so big and thick.- Okay.
好啊
Yeah.
很痒痒
That tickles.
我很抱歉. 噢, 不
I’m sorry. Oh, no.
你鼻子流血了 你认为呢?
Your nose is bleeding.- You think?
我很抱歉 我如此火♥辣♥
I’m sorry.- I’m hot.
但是现在 你别想在做♥爱♥了
But, now,you can’t have any of this.
你应该永远放弃!
You should just give up forever!
Cal, 你认为怎么样? 是不是太黄了?
Cal, what do you think?Is this too yellow?
不
No.
Curious George在现实生活中如何?
What’s Curious George likein real life?
得了 伙计
Come on, man.
哇，真是美女如云阿
Wow, this is pretty crowded.
是啊，今天是9元一杯啤酒
Yeah. Well, it’s $9 beer night.
好了，听着
Okay, look now.
这就是要发生的事情，对吧?
So, this is what’s about to happen,all right?
你到那些喝酒的小妞跟前,好吧?
You about to go run downsome drunk chicks, all right?
不要弄混了 我们说的喝醉不能太醉
And don’t confuse that with tipsy.We talking about drunk.
否则会吐在头发上的 撞伤你的膝盖
I want vomit in the hair,bruised-up knees.
还会弄伤后脚跟
A broken heel is a plus.
这就是你要寻找的 明白吗?
That’s what you want to find, okay?
不, Dave已经和我说了 我今晚不必做♥爱♥
No, Dave already told meI didn’t have to have sex tonight.
现在他倒不见了, 所以….
And now he’s gone, so…
伙计, 你现在就什么不要想了, 好吧?
Dude, just stop thinkingfor a minute, all right?
这次你不必想
You ain’t got to thinkon this one.
你要做的就是用你的本能
All you got to dois use your instinct.
给我看看的本性
Show me your instincts.
我的头, 我的心 跟着我的心
My head, my heart.I follow my heart.
现在,我就给你示范一次，看好?
Now, I’m gonna show you thisone time, all right?
本能 给我看看你的本能
Instincts.Show me your instincts.
给我看看你本能 她们就在那边
Show me your instincts.- They’re right here.
拥有你的本能
Own your instincts.
你要做的就是用你的本能 就这样
All you doing is using your instinct.That’s it.
这就是老虎如何捕捉羚羊
That’s how a tiger knowhe got to tackle a gazelle.
使它的DNA决定的
There’s a code written in his DNA.
这个DNA就是：“捕捉羚羊” 好吧
It says, “Tackle the gazelle.”- Okay.
不管你信不信,每个男人都有
And believe it or not, in every man,there’s a code written that says:
捕获喝酒娘们的天性 不
“Tackle drunk bitches.”- No.
你知道吗 我感觉不太舒服…
You know what,I don’t feel comfortable…
捕获喝酒的娘们 你知道
hitting on drunk “bitches,”you know.
我不认为这样做是对的
I don’t think that’s right.
好了，等一下
Okay, hold up.
首先, 你就认为这是不对的事情
First of all, you making it out to besome kind of bad thing.
我用娘们一词不是贬义 你是贬义
I didn’t use bitches in a derogatory sense.You did.
这…. 这不对
It just does…This doesn’t feel right.
当然不对 可是好的东西对你无效
Of course it don’t feel right.What has felt right for you didn’t work.
你要试试看一些歪门邪道 伙计
You need to try some wrong, dawg.
好, 我如何能分辨那一个是喝醉了的?
Okay, how do I tellwhich ones are drunk?
现在你说 好，看看这个
Now you’re talking all right.Check this out.
你看到那边那个红头发得了吗? 在哪?
You see this redhead over here?- Where?
那个大奶♥子♥的. 我不想盯着女人看
With the big old titties.- I’m not gonna stare at a woman.
哥们, 我不是告诉你盯着别人看
Dawg, I’m not telling youto stare at nobody.
我实在告诉你要用你的设备 现在看着我
I’m telling you to use your peripherals.Now look at me.
看 看 看? 噢
See. Look. See?- Yeah.
我没在看你
I’m not looking at you.
不，我在看 你在看她?
No. I’m looking at…- You’re looking at her?
你要我怎么做? 我要你用你的设备
What do you want me to do?- I want you to use your peripherals.
看到了吗，我没看你
See? I’m not looking at you.
不，看 我在看三点钟方向那个大胸的红头发的妞呢
No. See, I’m looking at the redheadat 3:00 with the big titties.
你看看她, 已经欲♥火♥焚身了,看她?
You see her, racked up right there,see her?
是啊 对
Yes.- Yeah.
你用你的设备寻找 好的
You find one with the peripherals.- Okay.
你看, 在海报那边那个
You see, over by the post.
看起来….
It looks like a…
不像是榕树…
It’s either a ficus…
可能是橡胶树
It might be a rubber tree plant.
好吧, 如果你在开玩笑, 伙计 这并不好笑
All right, if you’re making a joke,dawg, it’s not funny.
我看到一个金发的女孩，很漂亮
I see a blonde and she’s very pretty.
好多了, 很好. 这就对了
Better, okay. All right.
现在用你的装备… 好
Now with your peripherals…- Yeah.
…你要侦察并发现热辣的喝醉的小妞
…you got to scope out a hot,drunk chick.
然后你就该采取行动了
And then you should make your move.
如何? 好吧 好
Okay? All right.- Yes.
记住, 重要的是她醉了而且很火♥辣♥
And remember, it’s more importantthat she’s drunk than she’s hot.
第一个 去拿下她 装备
For this first one. Go get her.Peripherals, though.
全部
All the way.
所有的装备
All peripherals.
这小子很顽固
That boy is stubborn.
嘿，我叫Andy 你看起来很舒服
Hi, I’m Andy.You look comfortable.
我可以送你一杯鸡尾酒吗?
Can I get you another cocktail?
喝太多了
Too drunk.
但是想法很对 但是还活着
But you got the right idea.- But clinically alive.
嘿!
Yo!- Hey!- Yo!
我找不到喝醉的人
I’m having troublefinding the drunk people.
你想知道哪有吗? 是啊
You want to know where there’s one?- Yeah.
我，我，换衣服的船长
I. I, Captain Yellowshirts.
好吧，来一个好点的
Okay. Have a good one.
Yo!- Yo!- What?
什么?
我遇到一个女孩 在那边单身女子晚会…
I met a girl and she’s herewith a bachelorette party…
她们邀请我们和她们一起玩
and they invited us to party with them.
好，不错 真得很棒…
Okay, that’s good.- It’s so good…
因为看到自己朋友就要嫁给别人的女孩…
because no one is hornierthan a girl…
都特别的想发♥骚♥
who’s about to watch her friendget married to a guy.
真有趣
It’s so funny.
我们刚刚决定 因为这是在我嫁给Dan之前…
So we just decided becausethis is my last night as a free woman…
单身的最后一个晚上 所以我们都戴假发出来
before I marry Dan,that we would just wig out.
我们假发出游!
We’re wigging out!
你们真能闹啊
You guys are hilarious.
等一下
Wait a minute.
喂，总统先生吗 是 勃起选举结果出来了
Yes, Mr. President.Yes, the erection results are in.
嘿，伙计们 看这个 这个是宙斯博士的阴♥茎♥
Hey, guys, look, it’s Dr. Zeus’ penis.
我是认真的
I really mean this.
嘿，大家 谁要阴♥茎♥蛋糕
Hey, everybody, who wants penis cake?
我要
I do.
她要 嘿 伙计们, Betty Cocker
She does.- Hey, you guys, Betty Cocker.
真是个好人. 真是….
What a good guy. What a…
Dan, Robin要嫁给的那个男人…
Dan, the guy Robin’s marrying…
是个好人
is such a good guy.
听起来他是个好人
He sounds like a good guy.
我恨他2年多了因为他欺骗了我
I hated him for like two years’cause he cheated on me.
但是…