四十岁的老处男（2005）

Wow. This is justthe right thing to happen.
耶，耶，耶，哇！ 差点弄到我的小鸡鸡了!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Wow!Almost got my penis.
到妈妈这里来
Come to mama.
我今晚好好伺候伺候你
I’m gonna really take careof you tonight.
叫你永远也忘不了我Beth.
You’re never gonna forget Beth.
我只是想取悦你
I just want to please you.
你喜欢什么样的?
What do you like?
我不知道 你喜欢什么样的?
I don’t know.What do you like?
给你看看我喜欢什么样的好吗?
Can I show you what I like?
好啊
Okay.
这里真热啊
It’s so hot in here.
我想要介绍你给我的朋友认识
I wanna introduce you to my friend.
你朋友还真是闪闪发光
Your friend is so shiny.
这个家伙知道我喜欢什么
This guy knows exactly what I like.
你的朋友要去哪儿?
Where’s you friend going?
我先这样为你热热身
This is how I’m gonna warm up for you.
运动之前最好要热身 否则可是会拉伤的
That’s always good to warm up.You don’t wanna pull something.
喔，真太生动了
Wow, this is graphic.
我做不来
I can’t do it.
上帝，你们在这儿干什么?
God, what are you doing here?
我们来是因为我们关心你和Trish…
We came here because we wereconcerned about you and Trish…
现在我他妈的一点也不关心了
and now I could not give a fuck.
你是怎么知道她住这儿的?
How did you even know where she lives?
大概是八个月前我和她 什么?
I hit it like eight months back.- What?
我没把钥匙还给她 你根本不能想象…
Never gave her back the key, man.You have no idea…
接下去会发生什么，知道吗？ 这姑娘是个变♥态♥
where this is going, all right?That girl is a freak.
噢，我要去了！ 我要去了! Andy!
Oh, it’s happening!It’s happening! Andy!
你觉得呢?
You think?
别扯远了，听着…
We’ve been talking, and look…
如果你爱Trish, 你就不能这么做.
if you love Trish, you can’t do this.
兄弟们，我都不知道我在干什么了
Look, you guys, I don’t knowwhat I’m doing anymore.
我都已经不知道自己是谁了 我知道的只有……..
I don’t even know who I am.All I know is…
那个女人吓得我快要拉裤子了..
that woman scares the shit out of me…
现在我只想回家，行吗?
and I just wanna go home, okay?
走吧，我们都应该走了
Let’s go.- We should all get out of here.
对，我们都应该走了
Okay.- We should all go.
那段关系对我来说真是不怎么样
It wasn’t that good for me.
我们真的都应该走了
We should totally get out of here.
我们应该赶快跑
We should run away from here.
嘿
Hey.
我是Cal
Cal.
绕过去!
Go around!
快点，从我身边绕过去!
Come on, just go around me!
你们听不到我说话吗?
Can’t you hear me?
嘿，你好 嗨, Trish.
Hey, there. Hi, Trish.
我真的为今晚的事抱歉
Man, I’m really sorry about tonight.
这是什么?
What’s this?
是David的
Those are David’s.
我觉得他有问题
I think he has a problem.
这些是David的? 他迷上这个了
These are David’s?- He’s into that.
David的Boner Jams 03
David’s Boner Jams ’03?
对，真令人难过
Yeah, it’s so sad.
我想他是把最好的镜头 都编辑到一起了
He compiled all the bestboner scenes, I guess.
你别误会?
This isn’t what it looks like,okay?
这看起来象什么? 阴♥道♥
What does this look like?- A vagina.
那你用这个阴♥道♥来做什么?
And what do you do with this vagina?
学习 这是为了医学上的目的.
To learn.It’s for medicinal purposes.
呃
Ugh.
嘿，我很抱歉 上帝…. 这又是什么?
Hey, I’m sorry. God…- What’s this?
这是你的迷魂药? 你的约会强♥奸♥药?
This your date drug?Your roofie?
是Mentos
It’s a Mentos.
是清凉糖
They’re “The Freshmaker.”
对，没错
Yeah, right.
你到底是什么人，性变♥态♥?
What are you, some kind of sex pervert?
你是不正常还是什么?
Are you a deviant or something?
不，我不是性变♥态♥ 那这些都是什么?
No, I’m not a sexual deviant!- What is all this?
我根本都没有试图和你上♥床♥，所以….
I haven’t even triedto have sex with you, so…
那你想要做什么? 那你对我那么好想要干什么?
What are you trying to do?What are you buttering me up for?
不要这样
Come on.
你不会是想要杀了我吧?
You’re not gonna try and kill me,are you?
听着, Trish. 你没有买♥♥新地毯
Look, Trish.- You didn’t get a new carpet.
我不是想要杀了你 我爱你
I’m not trying to kill you.I love you.
我爱你 噢，上帝
I love you.- Oh, God!
Trish.
[歌♥名Heat Of The Moment]
Trish 不!
Trish. No!
不 Trish 停下来
No. Trish, stop.
别这样Trish!
Come on, Trish!
我需要跟你谈谈!
I need to talk to you!
不!
No!
该死
Damn it.
噢，天哪!
Oh, my God!
Andy!噢，上帝啊!
Andy! Oh, my God!
快打电♥话♥911
Call 911.
哦, 我的…. Andy.
Oh, my… Andy.
噢，上帝啊!
Oh, my God!
别动我 我现在非常疼
I’m gonna need a minute.I’m in a lot of pain right now.
噢，天哪 你没事吧?
Oh, my God.Are you okay?
还好
Not bad.
那块广♥告♥牌有两面
There were two sidesto that billboard.
撞倒哪边都一样疼
And they both hurt equally.
Andy.
你没事吧? 我没事
Are you okay?- I’m okay.
不，我有事
No, I’m not okay.
我是个处♥男♥
I’m a virgin.
是个什么?
A what?
我是个处♥男♥ 一直都是
I’m a virgin.I always have been.
Andy, 所有的事情都是因为这个?
Andy, is that what all this was about?
对不起
I’m sorry.
就因为你是一个处♥男♥，就这个?
You’re just a virgin, that’s all?
对 很好，这是件好事
Yeah.- That’s good. That’s a good thing.
我觉得自己好蠢
I feel stupid.
没事了，我还以为你要杀了我.
It’s okay. I thoughtyou were trying to kill me.
不
No.
哦, 我的天
Oh, my God.
不，我没有要杀你
No, I’m not trying to kill you.
这就是我从不敢和你上♥床♥的原因
That’s why I never triedto have sex with you.
我很害怕，知道吗? 我….
I was scared, okay?I just…
因为当时我不知道自己在做什么
‘Cause I didn’t know what I was doing.
我怕可能不会很好
I just didn’t think it would be good.
当然会很好 我们彼此相爱
Of course it’ll be good.We love each other.
真的?
Really?
我爱你
I love you.
对
Yeah.
赶快他妈的把路让开，处♥男♥!
Get the fuck out of the road,virgin!
闭嘴，你这个变♥态♥!
Shut up, you fucking jerk!
不，没事 没事，我很抱歉
No, that’s okay.That’s all right. Sorry.
你知道吗…
You know what…
好长一段时间我都觉得自己有问题…
for so long I thought that there wassomething wrong with me…
因为我从来没有做过….
because it had never happened, but…
可我现在知道了 那是因为我在等你
I realize now that it wasjust because I was waiting for you.
这可真是风光大办哪 他们怎么能掏得起钱?
This was some wedding.How could they afford it?
那个家伙把他的玩具都卖♥♥了 卖♥♥了差不多50万
Dude sells his toys and makeslike a half a million dollars.
真是疯了，是吧？ 是他妈的疯了
It’s crazy, right?- That’s fucking crazy.
我们也得他妈的去弄点玩具
We’re gonna get some fucking toys.
我们都为你们感到幸福
We are all so happy for you.
能说这些话我非常高兴
I am delighted to say these words.
Andy…
你可以吻新娘了
you may kiss the bride.
看在上帝的分上 快结束
And for God’s sake,consummate the thing.
不! 停下 我有钥匙
No! Stop it.I have the key.
磨光这块大理石还要…
I’m not gonna be donebuffing the marble…
至少半个小时 不过…