四十岁的老处男（2005）

You hired her for me?- Yes.
那你会不会去和她讲话?
So will you go talk to her?
对，我在等人
Yeah, I’m meeting somebody.
不去
No.
你刚刚是不是弹了一下我的蛋蛋? 没有
Did you just flick me in the nuts?- No.
我弹了你蛋蛋 原来位置上的那块肉肉
Flicked you in the fleshy patchwhere your nuts used to be.
兄弟，别弹我的蛋蛋了
Quit flicking my balls, man.
好，我不弹你的蛋蛋了
Okay, I’ll stop flicking your balls.
但是我要开始打你的蛋蛋
But I’ll start punching your nuts.
噢!
Oh!
好的
Okay.
干的好，先生
Well played, sir.
嗯 谢谢你
Okay.- Thank you.
不用谢，兄弟 上吧
No problem, man.Go get ’em.
Mooj, 你看到过我儿子…
Mooj, you done see my son…
你知道他的脚比这个要大
you know his foot gonna bebigger than this.
如果那个孩子长得象巴基斯坦人 别他妈的看我，好吗?
If that baby looks Pakistani,don’t fucking look at me, okay?
我不介意，你的基因不错 你多大了? 138岁?
I wouldn’t mind. You got good genes.How old are you? What, 138?
你儿子出生的时候 是不是已经在假释期间了?
When your son is born,is he already in parole?
我需要打一炮
I need some poon.
你们真是太对了 从一开始就是对的
You guys were so right,right from the beginning.
我需要生殖器和生殖器的接触 这正是我所需要的全部
I need genital to genital connectionand that’s all I need.
你看，关于感情的事情就是…
You know, the thing about relationshipsis that they…
一个人说….
make one person go…
!@#$%
然后另一个人说 “你说什么呢?”
And the other person go,”What are you talking about?”
然后一个人说….
And then one person goes…
!@#$%
你喝了多少，兄弟?
How much have you had to drink, man?
我喝了多少? 你抽了多少大♥麻♥?
How much have I had to drink?How many pots have you smoken?
你在说什么?
What are you talking about?
你这一辈子上过多少次厕所?
How many times have you goneto the bathroom in your life?
我问你这个你怎么回答
Let me ask you that.
你不知道这个问题的答案 是吧?
You know what, you don’t havean answer for that, do you?
我♥操♥，兄弟！ 对不起
Fuck you, man! I’m sorry.
不，你真是个好人 我很感谢你
No, you’re such a good guy,and I appreciate you.
怎么了，宝贝 我不知道你已经来了
What’s up, baby, I didn’t knowyou had came already.
嘿，王八蛋!
Hey, motherfucker!
兄弟，你知道吗 今晚真是棒极了
Man, you know what,tonight is the night.
知道吗 你是对的，我完全错了
You know what, you weretotally right and I was wrong.
你一直都是对的 没有性生活的话…
You were right all along.You cannot have a relationship…
你是没法和别人…
with somebody until…
发展出真正的感情的 现实就是….
you have sex and that’s the long…
现实就是这样
That’s the long and short of it.
所以，谢谢你 这很好
So, thank you.- That’s good.
现在我得去找只鸡
And now I have to go huntfor some hos.
他不会有事吧? 难说，我看悬
He going to be all right?- No, I don’t think he is.
Cal是个好人 是啊，他真是个好人
Cal’s a good guy.- Yeah, he’s a great guy.
太好笑了，因为…
It’s so funny, because, you know…
我第一次见他的时候 我觉得你很可爱…
when I first met him and I thoughtyou were cute at the store…
而他告诉我你是同性恋 我不是同性恋
…he told me you were gay.- I’m not gay.
Cal说我是同性恋 是因为他自己的性取向…
Cal says that I’m gay becausehe has a real problem…
有些问题
with his own gayness.
不过说真的，我现在要跟你谈谈
But seriously, I’m goingto lay it out for you, right now.
我平时沉默寡言 不敢和你搭讪
I was a little reticentto come over and talk to you.
你很漂亮，看上去也是个好女孩 可实际情况是…
You’re very pretty and you seem very nice.The truth is…
我曾经和某个女人约会 这么说吧，我曾经和某只鸡约会…
I dated this woman, let me rephrase that,I dated this whore…
而她粗暴地践踏了我的心
who stomped all over my heart.
而这让我用了好一阵时间才…
And it’s just taking mea little while to kind of…
回到正常的轨道上来
you know, get back in the game.
噢，天哪，别再说了
Oh, my God. Say no more.
我上一个男朋友Sal也是个混♥蛋♥
My last boyfriend Sal junior,is a scum bag.
我非常愿意雇人把他干掉
I would totally pay peopleto have him killed.
我就是他妈这么恨那个混♥蛋♥
That’s how much I fucking hatethat damn scum bag.
天，你♥他♥妈♥的太酷了 你也是
God, you’re fucking awesome.- You too.
嘿，是你!
Hey, you!
嘿 嘿
Hey.- Hey.
还好吗?
How you doing?
和你说话感觉好多了
Much better,now that I’m talking to you.
嘿，看哪 我能看见你的衬衫里面
Hey, lookie,I can see through your shirt.
真漂亮
Nice.
那么，你觉得我们应该..
So, you think we should…
去我的公♥寓♥继续这个聚会还是?
take this partyto my apartment or what?
我的答复是 “好的”
I am RSVPing “yes.”
希望你的车后箱足够大 因为我要把我的自行车放进去
Hope you have a big trunkbecause I’m putting my bike in it.
耶，我们走!
Yeah, let’s go!
妈，我的电♥话♥不知道丢在哪儿了….
Mom, I left my phone somewhereand I…
谢谢
Thank you.
怎么了? Andy呢?
What’s the matter?Where is Andy?
我们大吵了一架…. 噢，妈妈
We had a big fight, just…- Oh, Mom.
他气冲冲地走了
He just stormed out of here.
出什么事了?
What happened?
呃，我只是…… 等等，我以为你讨厌他
Well, I just…Wait a minute, I thought you hated him.
我并不讨厌他 对，他会变魔术，不过…
I don’t hate him. I mean,he does do magic, but…
他的确傻乎乎的..
you know, he’s a big dork…
不过我希望看到你开心
and I like seeing you happy.
真的
I do.
你真好，太好了 妈妈
That’s sweet, that’s really sweet.- Mom.
你为什么不直接去和他谈谈呢 把问题解决
Why don’t you just go talk to him,work it out.
因为如果你真的看重他的话 不应该就这么放弃
‘Cause if the thing is that important,you can’t just stop.
我来给你跳舞吧 我很喜欢
Let me dance for you.I would love it.
看看你的内衣，还有胸部，还有全部 真是太棒了
Look at your bra and your breastsand everything. That’s so great.
哇塞！你知道吗 你真太辣了，太辣了
Wow! You know what?You’re so hot. You’re so hot.
我辣得冒烟呢
I’m smoking hot.
告诉你吧 我这就要跟你上♥床♥
You know what? I’m just goingto have sex with you.
好！我们上♥床♥吧
Yes! Let’s have sex.
对，就是这样 我们到这里来就是干这个的
It’s going to happen.- That’s why we are here.
这样才顺理成章
That’s totally what’s goingto happen.
你可以从….
We could do it in the…
后面来，如果你愿意
Butt, if you want to.
但是，如果我愿意什么?
But, if I want to what?
后面 但是什么？什么但是?
Butt.- But what? What?
做啊 做?
Do it.- Do it?
什么?
What?
我不知道你在说什么
I don’t knowwhat you’re talking about.
后面 但是…
Butt.- But…
什么? …什么?
What?- …what?
不过，感觉还是那么棒.
But, it still feels so right.
耶!
Yeah!
耶 很好! 好 是的
Yeah. Right! Okay. Yeah.
那天真是非常有意思
That was a fun day.
你可真古怪
You are so kinky.
是啊，我可真古怪
Yeah, I’m so kinky.
我这么做的原因是 因为我觉得这样会…
That’s why I did thisbecause I thought it looks…
你喜欢刮毛，对吗?
You like to shave, don’t you?
我们给彼此刮毛吧 我没看见你有毛啊
Let’s shave each other.- I don’t think you have any hair.
你知道该刮我什么地方的
You know where to shave me.
嗯 因为我想要刮你的毛
Yeah.- Because I want to shave you.
我想要刮你的头
I want to shave your head.
我给你理个寸头
I wanna give you a buzz cut.
我们去洗澡吧
Let’s get in the bath.
洗澡?
In the bath?
对，我们要下流一点 下流，下流，泡泡浴
Yes. We’re gonna get dirty.Dirty, dirty. Sudsy.
我是该变得下流一点了
It’s just about time I got really dirty.
是啊
Yeah.
嗨，是我 我正在去你那儿的路上
Hey. Hi, it’s me,and I’m on my way to your house.
我尊重你的决定，好吗?
I want to do whateveryou want to do, okay?
50次，或者100次都行 不过希望不要那么久
Fifty dates. 100.I hope not, but whatever.
待会儿见，好吗? 拜拜
I’m gonna see you soon, okay? Bye.
哇，呃 可真快啊，挺好
Wow. Okay, well, that was fast. Okay.
哇！我靠！
Wow! Holy shit!
喔，要的就是这个