四十岁的老处男（2005）

不，他不需要帮忙 已经有人为他服务了
No, he don’t need no help.He’s already been served.
我已经在招呼他了 他脑子有点慢，不过他已经明白了
I served him. He’s taken care of.He’s a little slow, but he got it.
看到吗，他以为在这里 一切都能按他的规矩办
See, what he thought was he can come upin here and make the rules.
不过现在他看到了 在这个店里是Jay说了算
But now he see that Jay make the movesat Smart Tech…
这里我说了算，混♥蛋♥ 现在他马上要滚蛋了
that I run this, bitchand now he bought the bounce.
这是你的人?
This your boy?
没错，是我的人 我们代表Smart Tech.
Yeah, that’s my boy.We represent Smart Tech.
你们都要完蛋了
You just got fucked up with him.
等我回来 有你们两个黑鬼好看
Both y’all niggers goingget clapped up when I get back.
你们这两个黑鬼
Both of you all niggers.
我♥干♥什么了? 我他妈的不管!
What did I do?- It don’t fucking matter!
对，吹吧，性无能 你就吹吧!
Yeah, aim high, Willis.Aim high!
拜托不要这么做
Please don’t do this.
Jay, 出什么事情了?
Jay, what’s going on?
Jill和我分手了
Jill broke up with me.
很抱歉 发生什么事情了?
I’m so sorry.What happened?
我回家的时候有点醉
I came home a little tipsy.
而且连保险套都忘了摘下来
And I had one of my condomson still.
第二天早上一起床 我就和她一起去洗澡
Woke up the next morningand jumped in the shower with her.
我真不知道当时在想什么
I don’t know what I was thinking.
那你为什么要背叛她?
Why did you cheat on her?
因为我没有安全感! 你看不出来吗?
Because I’m insecure!You can’t tell?
我知道，兄弟 会没事的
I know, man.It’s gonna be okay.
我好冷 不会有事的，兄弟
I’m cold.- It’s gonna be all right, man.
说真的，兄弟，我也很难过
Seriously, man, I’m sorry.
我向你道歉，我知道
I apologize to you. I know.
如果你想拥有一段有意义的感情..
If you wanna havea meaningful relationship…
就不能让性搀杂其中，兄弟 你是对的
you’ve got to leave the sex out of it,man. You’re right.
没事了，你不会有事的
It’s all right. You’re good.
我很难过，过来 我爱你，兄弟
I’m sorry. Come here.I love you, man.
我也爱你，兄弟
Man, I love you, too.
你是一个好人
You’re a good guy.
你们知道 我是怎么知道你们是同性恋的吗?
Do you know how I knowyou guys are gay?
你们拥抱彼此的时候是那么轻柔
You’re holding each otherever so gently.
混♥蛋♥
Cabron.
太棒了
Bravo.
至少他会做饭，妈妈
At least he can cook, Mom.
我爱……蜘蛛人
I love… Spiderman.
慢慢起步，往前直行
Pull out slowly and go straight ahead.
我没事
I’m all right.
这里没有人
Nobody’s there.
我想知道你所有的一切
I want to know everything about you.
我也想告诉你
I want to tell you.
真的? 真的
You do?- Yeah.
那么，你想要做什么? 你的梦想是什么?
Like, what do you want to do?What are your dreams?
我不想一直在Smart Tech做
You don’t wanna work at Smart Techfor the rest of your life.
我已经在那儿干了很长时间了
I’ve been working therefor a long time.
最近我在想 也许我应该自己开一家店
And I’ve been thinking latelythat maybe I should open my own store.
真的? 是啊
Really?- Yeah.
什么样的店? 呃，比如音响器材店
What kind of store?- Well, like a stereo store.
噢，天哪，真是太…. 那你为什么不干呢
Oh, my God, that is…Why don’t you do that?
我的钱不够
I don’t have enough moneyto do that.
那些收藏品呢?
What about those collectibles?
我打赌你肯定能把它们卖♥♥一大笔钱
I bet if you sold those,you could make a lot of money.
我刚替别人卖♥♥了一个百战英雄玩偶 卖♥♥了1000美元
I just sold a guy’s G. I. Joefor $1,000.
真的? 你有没有这样的?
Really?- Do you have any of those?
有 真的?
Yeah.- You do?
我有47个
I have 47 of them.
不会吧，你骗人
No, you don’t.
没骗人，都还在原包装的盒子里呢 真的?
Yeah, in their original boxes.- You do?
我可以帮你在eBay上卖♥♥了
I could help you sell them on eBay.
向上帝发誓 我一分钱提成也不要
I would not take a commission,I swear to God.
你能做到 完全没问题
You could do it.You could totally pull it off.
好，让我们动手吧 我们动手吧
Yeah, let’s do it.- Let’s do it.
海底超人
Aquaman.
放在这里
Here.
衣服穿上
Clothes on.
我会把你送到…
I’ll send you off to…
一个很大很大的农场去
a farm with lots of land.
这样你和其他的海底超人们…
So, you and other Aquamencan run around…
就可以在水世界里奔跑嬉戏了
and play in the Aquafields.
祝你平安 Steve Austin上校
Godspeed, Col. Steve Austin.
你不想走，对吧? 好吧，你可以留下
You don’t wanna go, do you?Okay, you can stay.
Steve Austin上校可以留下
Steve Austin can stay.
嗨, Cal. David.
Hey, Cal. David.
这台大电视要卖♥♥掉啦
Way to sell a big TV.
她喜欢你，哥们儿
She likes you, man.
真是太糟糕了 我已经让我的老二退休了
Too bad I retired my penis.
Mooj,我们试图让排班表公平 不过这很难
Mooj, we try to be fair withthe schedule but it’s hard.
好，可是为什么每次排班之后 大部分的早班都排给我了?
Okay, but why every damn schedulecomes up, I get most early shift?
全是扯淡 早上10点钟没人买♥♥音响
It’s bullshit. Nobody buys stereoat 10:00 in the morning.
不，我明白
No, I understand.
大家都是在6点到8点之间买♥♥
People buy stereobetween 6:00 and 8:00.
嗯
Mmm-hmm.
有钱人下了班，然后去买♥♥音响
Rich men get off work, then buy stereo.
对 不是在他妈的吃完早午饭之后
Right.- Not after fucking brunch.
好，那我们这么办
Okay.Here’s what we’re gonna do.
我给你两个Jay的班.
I’m going to give youa couple of Jay’s shifts.
然后再给你两个我的班…
And then I’ll give youa couple of mine and that way…
这样我们就扯平了，好吧 谢了, Andy.
…we’ll all be equal, okay.- Thank you, Andy.
不用谢
It’s okay.
你是个好人, Andy.
You’re a good man, Andy.
对了，这是你第几次约会了?
By the way,what date are you on, now?
17次左右吧，我想
I think it’s around 17.
不过很难定义什么样才叫约会
It’s hard to tell what actuallyconstitutes a date, though.
还有三天，也就是说 还有三天你就要破处了
Three to go. So that meansyou’re gonna have sex in three days.
我或许会 让它们之间间隔几天
Maybe, I might try to space them outa little bit.
我会给你的老二祈祷的 好，谢谢
I’ll pray for your cock.- Okay, thanks.
谢谢，谢谢你 祝你的鸡鸡愉快
Thanks. Thank you.- Have a good cocky.
Trish 的电♥话♥ 出了点意外
Trish is on the phone.Here is a shock.
你女朋友有麻烦了 你好
Girlfriend with a problem.- Hello.
我什么都做过了就是没做过爱!
I have done everything but sex!
我是个女人，明白吗? 你要面对现实!
I’m a woman, okay?Deal with it!
我要重新开始带你去教堂了
I’m gonna starttaking you back to church.
我们要开始去教堂了
We are gonna start going to church.
喂? 知道吗?
Hello?- You know what?
你们到底在说什么?
What the hell are you talking about?
噢，天哪，真不敢相信. 感谢上帝你来了
Oh, my God, I cannot believe this.Thank God you’re here.
上帝啊 Marla把她自己锁在卫生间里了
Jesus Christ.Marla locked herself in the bathroom.
出什么事了?
What happened?
她想要去家庭诊所
She wants to goto the family health clinic.
她想要避孕药 可她岁数还太小
She wants birth control.But she’s too young.
我想要和我的男朋友有性生活！ 可是我不行，妈妈
I want to have sex with my boyfriend!But I can’t, Mom!
那，你是想让我带她去?
So, you want me to take her?
不，我不想你那么做 噢，好吧
No, I don’t want you to take her.- Okay, all right.
上大学之前我希望她把裤子看紧了
I want her to keep it in her pantsuntil she gets to college.
喂，喂，喂
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
“把裤子看紧了”?
“Keep it in my pants”?
你当年可没看紧，妈妈
Okay, you didn’t keep itin your pants, Mom.
我知道，我不想让你犯 跟我一样的错误，Marla.
I know. I don’t want you to makethe same mistakes as me, Marla.
错误? 好，也就是说我是个错误
Mistakes? Okay,so I was a mistake then.
不，你不是个错误 你的姐姐才是错误
No, you’re not a mistake.Your sister was the mistake.
噢，我的上帝!
Oh, my God!
我是说，她姐姐 她不是计划中的产物，明白我的意思吧?
Her older sister, I mean,she wasn’t planned, you know what I mean?
因为我当时真的…. 噢，天哪，你想要走，是吗?
Because I was such a…Oh, God, you wanna run away, don’t you?
不
No.
你和你的男朋友一直都有性关系!
You and your boyfriendhave sex all the time!
噢，天哪! 你开玩笑吗?
Oh, my God!Are you kidding?
我们从没有过性关系 我们有过性关系吗?
We never have sex.Do we ever have sex?
不 没有
No, we don’t.