四十岁的老处男（2005）

需要帮忙吗?
Can I help you?
是的, 这些东西很不错，我买♥♥了
Yeah, these are wonderful.I’ll take these.
谢谢，的确是 他们很不错. 金鱼让我喜欢的不得了
Thanks, they are. They’re great.The goldfish just crack me up.
有趣
Funny.
是的，的确 是啊
Yeah, they are.- Yeah.
是啊 他们很可爱
Yeah.- They’re cute.
我实际上不在这里卖♥♥东西 我在eBay上卖♥♥
I don’t actually sell anything here.I just sell them on eBay.
我不知道
I don’t get it.
好吧
Okay.
你能帮我吗? 不 你靠你自己了
Can you help me?- No, you’re on your own here.
祝你好运, 你也是 我会给你打电♥话♥的
Good luck to you, and to you.And I’ll give you a call.
好的，很高兴见到你 谢谢你能来
Great. Nice to see you.- Great. Thanks for coming in.
再见
Bye.
那么 我想我就给你些钱…
So, I guess I’ll justgive you some money…
你就可以把这些鞋给我….
and you can give methese shoes and…
你知道,我知道这有些奇怪…
You know,I know it seems so strange…
是的，我想直接在你这买♥♥了
Yes. I’d just rather buy themfrom you straight up.
是的，我知道 我也希望能如此简单 但是…
Yeah, I know.I wish it could be that easy, but…
我也希望如此 但是你把事情弄复杂了
I wish, too, but you’re making itextremely difficult for me.
我就是想把鞋买♥♥回家…
I’m just trying to get these shoesback to my house…
我就能穿了
so I can wear them.
尸体挡路
I got a corpse in my way.
小心 杀了他
Look out. Just kill it.
这真是太不公平了，你有大刀….
That’s just so not fairthat you have blades and…
我告诉你，伙计 我感觉很好
I’m telling you, man,I feel great.
我如此…. 感觉像在健身
I’m so…It’s like a weight has been lifted.
独身也不错啊, 伙计 Andy 这么做对了, 你知道?
Celibacy is the way to go, man.Andy had it right, you know?
看看他 他看起来比我们都年轻…
Look at him.He looks younger than all of us…
但是他却比我们大10岁
but he’s 10 years older.
为什么? 因为他从来就没有过感情经历
Why? Because he’s never hada relationship.
没有女魔鬼强迫他的生活
No she-devil suckedhis life force out yet.
喂? 嗨. 你好
Hello?- Hey. Hi. Hello.
你是Trish吗?
Is this Trish?
请问谁打得电♥话♥ ? 我是Andy
Who’s calling, please?- This is Andy.
嗨, Andy. 嗨，你好吗?
Hi, Andy.- Hi, how you doing?
我很好 你怎么样? 我很不错
I’m good. How’re you doing?- I’m doing great.
你是同性恋了?
So you’re gay, now?
不，我不是同性恋 我只是庆祝
No, I’m not gay.I’m just celibate.
我想…. 我的意思, 你听起来像个同性恋
I think…I mean, that sounds gay.
我想让你知道，这个是三次..
I just want you to knowthat this is the first conversation…
能让你变成同性恋的交谈中的第一次
of three conversationsthat leads to you being gay.
然后，一年以内…
There’s this and then in a yearit’s like, “You know…
“我想回到过去,但是我想我喜欢男人”
“I’m kind of going to wanna get backout there, but I think I like guys.”
然后突然发现”我已经是同性恋了”
And then there’s the big,”I’m a gay guy now.”
你这说你就是同性恋了 我这说我就是同性恋了?
You’re gay for saying that.- I’m gay for saying that?
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗? 如何?你如何知道我是同性恋?
You know how I know you’re gay?- How? How do you know I’m gay?
因为你穿着飞边牛仔短裤’Cause you macram閐 yourself
a pair of jean shorts.
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗?
You know how I know you’re gay?
你刚刚告诉我你再也不和女人上♥床♥了
You just told me you’re not sleepingwith women anymore.
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗? 如何?
You know how I know you’re gay?- How?
因为你是同性恋，而且你能认出其他同性恋来?
‘Cause you’re gay and you can tellwho other gay people are?
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗? 如何?
Do you know how I know you’re gay?- How?
你喜欢Coldplay（一个组合）
You like Coldplay.
你死了
You’re dead.
的了
Come on.
至少给我留了个全尸
Leave my torso alone at least.
我打电♥话♥想知道…
I also wanted to call…
你哪天晚上有空可以出来
and see what nightyou might want to go out.
我明天晚上有空
I’m actually free tonight.
好的, 我想也许是周末呢, 但是这样也不错，好的
Okay. Now, I was thinking maybethis weekend, but that’s good. Okay.
好极了
Great.
好，那你什么时间来接我?
Okay, what timedo you want to pick me up?
我想想看看
Let’s see.
这的确是个问题因为我骑自行车
That’s actually kind of a problembecause I ride a bike.
真酷阿 你开玩笑?
That’s cool.Are you kidding me?
我爱坐在摩托车后面
I love getting on the backof a motorcycle.
大学里我男朋友骑摩托
My boyfriend in collegedrove a motorcycle.
所以，我的意思是，没问题
So, I mean, I’m cool.
是啊，我打赌一定很酷 我骑的是自行车
Yeah, I bet that was cool.I ride a bicycle.
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗?
You know how I know that you’re gay?
如何?
How?
你喜欢《曼哈顿的女仆》这个片子
You like the movieMaid in Manhattan.
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗? 如何?
You know how I know you’re gay?- How?
我看见过你有一次吃芹菜和酵母面包
I saw you make a spinach dipin a loaf of sourdough bread once.
你知道我怎么知道你是同性恋的吗? 如何?
You know how I know you’re gay?- How?
你车保险杠上有一个彩虹帖纸，上面写着
You have a rainbow bumper stickeron your car that says:
“我喜欢球在脸上的感觉”
“I love it when balls are in my face.”
这就是同性恋了?
That’s gay?
见鬼!
God damn it!
我现在就把你的头扯掉. 已经掉了
I’m ripping your head off right now.It’s off.
现在我把你的头扔在你的尸体上
And now I’m throwing itat your body.
你去死吧!
Fuck you!
伙计们…
You guys…
她一个小时之内来接我
she’s picking me up in an hour.
哦，伙计
Oh, drag, dude.
你来这里接你? 是啊
She’s picking you up from here?- Yeah.
这真糟透了 伙计
That’s fucked up, man.
为什么? 为什么?
Why?- Why?
说真的，伙计，你看看着这地方
Seriously. I mean,look at this place, man.
你应该从女人的角度看看 知道吗?
You gotta see this throughthe eyes of a woman, you know?
当她进来的时候她会怎么想? 看啊
What is she going to thinkwhen she comes in here? Look.
他有好多玩具阿 那又怎么样?
He’s got a billion toys.- So what?
还有比十岁的亚洲小孩还多的电子游戏
And more video gamesthan a teenaged Asian kid.
这没什么阿
It’s all right.
这个是六百万富翁 的老板吗?
Is that theSix Million Dollar Man’s boss?
是奥斯卡金人
It’s Oscar Goldman.
为什么你会有这个? 这个很值钱的
Why do you have that?- That’s worth a lot of money.
这个比Steve Austin（著名摔跤手）值钱多了
That’s much more valuablethan Steve Austin.
嗯，这也许是个例子 但是这些烂东西没有一个性感的, 对吧?
Well, that may be the case.But none of this shit is sexy, okay?
我不想性感 伙计
I’m not trying to be sexy, man.
我的意思是，说真的，亚洲?
I mean, seriously, Asia?
你还订装了一个亚洲海报?
You framed an Asia poster?
当你带这个东西进那个装框店的时候…
How hard did the peopleat the frame store laugh…
店里的人笑成了什么样子? 他们没有笑我
…when you brought this in?- They did not laugh at me.
你知道你为什么是同性恋吗? 因为你喜欢亚洲
Know why you’re gay?- Because you like Asia.
你们不要提什么同性恋了
You guys cool it with the gay.
知道吗，她已经在路上了, 明白吗?
You know, she’s on her wayover here, okay?
首先，你放松, 好吧?
First, you relax, okay?
别总让我冷静，告诉我该做什么吧
Just stop calming me downand tell me what I should do.
我们把那些难为情的东西…
Okay, we just take everythingthat’s embarrassing…
搬出去
and we move it out of here.
这样看起来不像杰克逊的梦幻庄园了
So it doesn’t look likeyou live in Neverland Ranch.
嗨 嗨. 你好吗?
Hi.- Hi. How are you?
很好
Good.
那么，你想我们现在就出发吗?
So, you wanna head out?
你刚搬进来还是怎么回事?
Did you just move in or something?
不是，实际上我买♥♥了一块新地毯
No. Actually I’m gettingnew carpet in.
我明天要铺那个新地毯, 所以….
I’m having carpet put in tomorrow, so…
恩 你知道的 是啊
Well, you know.- Yeah.
好吧 地板看起来很不错
Okay.- Looks good with the floors.
是啊 好吧
Yeah.- All right.
我应该把硬木撬开来…
I should tear up the hard wood…
看看下面是否有地毯
and see if there’s carpet underneath.
那绝不可能
That’s never the case.
一定会很有趣 是的
This is gonna be fun.- Yes.
我每天都开车来这里
You know,I drive by this place every day.
我以前从来没来过
I’ve never been in before.
很高兴你能来
I’m glad you came.
我从来没和像你这样的好人约会过
You know, I never really go outwith nice guys like you.
我想这一辈子我都在逼我自己…
I think I’ve avoided nice guyslike you my whole life…