这就是我

暑假就要来了 我想着重新开始
It’s not long before summer vacation. Thought I’d get a head start.
你不留着教室里那些东西吗
Don’t you keep most of the stuff in the classroom?
通常会的 但问题是我明年不会在这了
Normally, yeah. But as it turns out, I won’t be here next year.
-为什么 -我有个妹妹在佛罗里达
-Why? -Well, I have a sister in Florida…
我一直没时间陪她
…and I haven’t been able to spend time with her.
我想我该好好享受一下这种变化
I thought I might enjoy the change.
你最好快点 别误了上课的时间
You better hurry up. Don’t wanna be late for homeroom.
谢谢
Thanks.
西蒙先生明年不会回来了
Mr. Simon’s not coming back next year.
那又如何 反正我们也不会在这了
So? We won’t be here anyway.
西蒙先生因为詹森·菲涅尔这样的人丢了工作 真是奇怪
It seems weird that somebody like Jason Freel could get Mr. Simon to quit.
要问我 我觉得他们都很奇怪
They’re both freaks if you ask me.
没证据证明西蒙先生是同性恋
There’s no proof Mr. Simon’s a homo.
那他为什么要离开
Then why is he leaving?
也许我们全班可以一起送他个礼物什么的
Maybe the class could pitch in and get him a present or something.
什么礼物
Like what?
我不知道 我不知道他喜欢什么
I don’t know. I don’t know what he likes.
我爸说他们像女人
My dad says they’re like women.
他们喜欢花和像垃圾一样的东西
They like flowers and crap like that.
他和我们谈芭蕾舞的时侯 我们就该想到他是个同性恋了
We should’ve known Simon was a homo when he told us about that ballet.
他可能只是前额贴了个同性恋大标签
He might as well just stamp a big homo sign on his forehead.
我所知道的是 不管他是不是同性恋
All I know is, homo or not…
如果问班上所有人 他们最喜欢的老师是谁
…if you ask anyone in class who their favorite teacher is…
答案一定是西蒙先生
…it would be Mr. Simon.
可能 除了菲涅尔
Except Freel, maybe.
是的 我想你是对的
Yeah, I guess you’re right.
至少这件事发生之前是这样
At least he was until this homo thing.
起来 尼克尔 走开 里恩斯
Get up, Nichol. Take a walk, Rains.
放学见 安迪
See you after school, Andy.
-听着 里奇 不管怎样 -你要玛丽·克莉…
-Look, Ricky, whatever… -You’re gonna ask Mary Clear…
和你交往
…to go steady with you?
如果你不愿意 我就不会
Not if you don’t want me to.
我不同意
I don’t want you to.
先把你打个鼻青脸肿 玛丽肯定会觉得你太丑
After I pound your face in, Mary’s gonna think you’re too ugly…
不配跟她交往 -放开他
…to go steady with. -Hey, leave him alone.
谁管得了我 怪物
Who’s gonna make me, freak?
没人看见我们 里基
No one can see us, Ricky.
离开这里 没人会知道
Just walk away and nobody will know.
没人会相信
Nobody will believe it.
-你说呢 里奇 -没什么 什么也没发生
-What about you, Nichol? -Nothing. It never happened.
你要说出去 或者靠近玛丽 我会杀了你
You tell anybody about this or go near Mary, I’ll kill you.
好的
Yeah.
总有一天我要整死你
I’m gonna get you real bad for this.
随着期末钟声的敲响
With the clock ticking down to the end of school year…
我想如果保持低调
…I figured if I could just keep a low profile,
可能就不会那么丢人
I could get out with my dignity intact.
但是玛丽·克莉不会这样就罢休
But Mary Clear would not be denied.
事情已经开始了
It had begun.
据我所知 你短短的一生中 没什么能阻止它
And as far as I knew, nothing, short of running for your life, could stop it.
玛丽当时刚进入摇摆不定的青春期
Mary was in the preliminary phase of what was referred to as the hover ritual.
这也是女性的特质
This was a technique in which the female…
在捕猎中逐渐收紧包围圈
…would travel in ever tightening circles around her prey,
鼓励男性积极进攻
enticing him to strike…
让他真以为自己是主动方
…so that he would actually think that he was the aggressor…
以此确保他的男性意识保持灵敏
…thereby insuring his delicate male ego would remain intact.
我不傻
I wasn’t fooled.
我必须离开 马上离开
I had to get out and get out fast.
嗨 安迪 我刚没看见你
Hi, Andy. I didn’t see you.
是的 对不起
Yeah. Sorry.
我马上像小猪一样冒汗
I instantly started to sweat like a pig.
她注意到了 但很仁慈地假装没有
She noticed, but mercifully pretended not to.
所以…
So…
-你好吗 -不错
…how you doing? -Good.
那你好吗
So how are you doing?
她发现我再次不由自主地蠢蛋了
She noticed I was making an idiot out of myself again…
但还是毫无理由地原谅 假装没事
…but, forgiving beyond all reason, pretended not to.
-芭芭拉说你想见我 -她说了
-Barbara said you wanted to see me. -She did?
她说你想问我些事
She said you wanted to ask me something.
就在那一刻
It was at that moment
我发觉自己 非常非常想亲玛丽·克莉
that I realized just how bad I wanted to kiss Mary Clear.
太想了 以至于忘记了里基·布朗
So bad, in fact, that I forgot about Ricky Brown…
也忘了如果我这么做了 他可能会以各种残忍♥的方式杀了我
…and the cruel ways he might kill me if I did.
-你想和我交往吗 -你有身份手镯吗
-You wanna go steady? -You got an ID bracelet?
有
Yeah.
她估量着手镯大概的市场价
She studied the bracelet as if trying to estimate its fair market value.
你从布鲁斯·莫达克那买♥♥来的 对吧
You bought this from Bruce Modak, didn’t you?
是的
Yeah.
-花了我三张曼特尔新秀卡 -她没觉得感动
-It cost me three Mantle rookie cards. -She wasn’t impressed then.
但是我打赌她现在一定晕乎乎地
But I’ll bet she’s reeling now.
多少女人能在她们的杂物抽屉里
How many women possess a $100,000 ID bracelet…
-存着价值十万美元的身份手镯 -好的
…in their junk drawer? -Okay.
3点在隧♥道♥尽头那见我 别迟到了 我的车3:15开
Meet me at the end of the tunnel at 3. Don’t be late. My bus leaves at 3:15.
当最后只剩下一个矮人和一个圣骑士 他们也没有放弃
“When only the dwarf and the paladin were left, they would not give up…
而是果决地坚守阵地
…but stood their ground stoutly.
一双铁塔突然飞驰而来 溅满鲜血
A pair of steel towers streaked and splashed with blood…
从中飞出巨斧和大剑
…and where the axe of one fell, and the sword of the other…
敌人奄奄一息 继而死去
…an enemy gasped and died.
奋战就这样继续着 那些忠诚于贞德的优秀而率真的灵魂”
And so fighting, loyal to their duty to Joan, good simple souls…”
西蒙先生读《圣女贞德》时 很不幸 我没能好好欣赏
As Mr. Simon read from Joan of Arc, I, unfortunately, could not enjoy it.
相反 我在拼命回忆所有看过的电影里
Instead, I spent the time trying desperately to remember…
精彩绝伦的接吻镜头
…all the great kissing scenes I had watched in movies.
专注于基本原理
Focusing on fundamentals,
我想象卡里·格兰特会如何亲吻玛丽·克莉
I imagined how Cary Grant might kiss Mary Clear.
结果相当令人沮丧
That turned out to be discouraging…
因为卡里·格兰特和玛丽·克莉 在一起看着相当般配
…because Cary Grant and Mary Clear looked really good together.
突然间 我觉得比以前更没底了
And I suddenly felt more inadequate than I did before.
“‘奥尔良女仆被带走了
“‘The Maid of Orleans taken.
圣女贞德只是一个囚犯
Joan of Arc a prisoner.
法兰西的救世主已经败给我们’
The savior of France lost to us.’
人们不断地重复这些话
And would keep saying that over
好像他们根本不理解事情为何会这样
as if they couldn’t understand how it could be.
或者 上帝为何允许这样的事情发生 可怜的人类”
Or how God could permit it, poor creatures.”
好 最后一课讲完最后一章
Perfect. We’ll finish the last chapter on the last day of class.
下课
Class dismissed.
差点忘了
Oh, I almost forgot.
走之前 请把你们的期末 课程设计全部交上来
I will need all of the final team projects on my desk before you leave.
记得今晚的才艺秀
And remember, tonight is the talent show.
我希望全员到齐
I want complete attendance.
不要找任何借口不来
No excuses to the contrary.
谢谢
Thank you.
尼克尔先生
Mr. Nichol.
我看好你和斯坦利的报告
I look forward to your and Stanley’s report.
好的
Yes, sir.
体育课上 我只投入六分之一的实力
I spent sixth period P.E. Class
努力让自己不要流汗
trying desperately not to sweat…
-为了玛丽 -加油 尼克尔 跟上 好吗
…for Mary’s sake. -Come on, Nichol, hustle up, would you?
满身臭汗已经开始耗尽我的信心
This whole body odor issue had begun to consume me.
我突然想到 如果上帝按他的形象造人
It occurred to me if God created man in his own image…
是不是意味着他也依赖除臭剂
…did that mean that he too used deodorant?
还是他只是简单地把汗和体臭加给我们…
Or did he simply add sweat and body odor to us…
那么到世界灭亡的时候
…so he’d be the only guy without sweat rings…
唯独他没有汗腺
…when the world was coming to an end.
是时候了
It was time.
我有意快跑 很明显 我的思维已经不受控制
I moved with purpose and yet it was clear that my mind was not in control.
被之前那股不明力量接管了
My body, governed by some force, previously unknown to me…
全身自信满满
…was calling the shots.
尽管为此我的身体 而非思维
This, despite the fact that it was my body and not my mind…
最后会被里基·布朗痛打一顿
…that Ricky Brown would ultimately beat unmercifully.
尼克尔 放学后一起去做检查
Hey, Nichol. We running workups after school today?
-不 -我们都准备一个星期了
-No. -We’ve been planning this for a week.