这就是我

等等 诺尔曼 等等
Wait. Norman, hold on.
-你知道大基在哪吗 -怎么 对他同病相怜
-Do you know where Big G is? -Why? A little low on cooties?
还是想看看他是不是真的尿裤子了
Or you just wanna see if he really did wet his pants?
我们是西蒙先生的四阶英语课上一个课程设计作业的搭档
We’re partners on a project for Mr. Simon’s fourth period English.
我们要一起协作
We’ve gotta work together.
-我打赌 听到这个你朋友一定很开心 -闭嘴
-Bet your friends got a big kick out of that. -Shut up.
你还不知道你多幸运 尼克尔
You don’t even know how lucky you are, Nichol.
斯坦利是本校除我以外最聪明的人
Stanley’s the smartest in the school, next to me.
你知不知道他在哪
Do you know where he is or not?
他在角落那 等着晾干裤裆
He’s down in the corner waiting for his crotch to dry.
尼克尔
Hey, Nichol.
斯坦利是我最好的朋友
Stanley’s my best friend.
他和别人不一样
He’s not like anyone else.
不要…
Don’t…
算了
Never mind.
怪胎角落 无人之地
Geek Corner. No Man’s Land.
怪胎大峡谷
The Grand Canyon of Cooties.
它得名于聚集在此的怪胎们
It was referred to by many names.
一旦踏上这块惊悚之地 就再没有回头路
One step into this dreaded ground and there would be no going back.
大基
Big G.
-那是什么 -什么
-What is that? -What?
天哪 他们在聊天
My God, they’re talking.
-那份报告你打算什么时候开工 -他在干嘛
-When do you wanna work on the report? -What is he doing?
我没那么多时间 放学后我必须马上回家
I don’t have much time. I go home right after school.
-我还有其它事要做 -无论如何我们必须完成它
-I have stuff I have to do. -We’ve gotta get it done somehow.
我知道你不想和我一起做这个报告
I know you don’t wanna work on the report with me.
我自己做完它 你交上去就行
I can do the work and you can turn it in.
-你朋友不会知道 -我的天
-Your friends don’t have to know. -My God.
我有强烈的预感 西蒙先生会知道的
I have a strong feeling Mr. Simon would know.
我们必须一起完成它
We have to do it together.
我爸是个好人
My father was a good man.
只是他的”用户亲和力”不太理想
He just wasn’t very user-friendly.
他的工作和计算机有关
He worked in computers
习惯于所有事情都按固定程序进行
and everything had to be done a certain way.
他对电脑很在行
He was very good at computers.
但是 又来了 电脑都附带有说明书
But then again, computers came with a handbook.
安德鲁 关了它 关了它
Yo, hey. Andy, shut it off. Shut it off.
关了它
Shut it off.
过来 请快点过来
Come here. A little quicker please?
我没那么多时间 过来 过来
I don’t have all day. Come here. Come here.
看看这 看看这
Look at this. Look at this.
你是说你没看见这个
You telling me you can’t see this?
-我会倒回来修整它 -你知道自己是谁吗
-I was gonna go back over it. -You know what you are?
知道自己是谁吗 你就是个笨蛋 知道笨蛋是什么吗
Know what you are? You’re a jughead. You know what a jughead is?
-很蠢的家伙 -不 孩子 你不笨
-Someone who’s really stupid? -No, buddy. You’re not stupid.
笨蛋是那些不集中注意力的人
A jughead is someone who just doesn’t pay attention.
-好的 -现在你可以集中注意力了
-Oh, okay. -Now you can concentrate.
第一遍搞定 就没必要再来一遍
Do it right the first time, you don’t have to again.
你明白吗
Does that make sense to you?
-是的 但是 我…-不 没有但是
-Yeah, but I was gonna… -No. There’s no but.
要么明白 要么不明白
Either makes sense or doesn’t make sense.
-这事儿没”但是” -好吧
-There’s no buts about it. -Okay.
看着我 我来修剪草坪
You watch me. I’ll mow the lawn.
我要你看看 草坪应该是怎样的
I’ll show you what a lawn’s supposed to look like.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
他放学后不学习 不呆在图书馆
He won’t study after school, he won’t study in the library,
而是在周末帮他爸干活
he works for his dad on the weekends.
他唯一的学习时机是 在午餐时间的怪胎角落
The only place he’ll study is in Geek Corner at lunch hour.
怪胎角落
Geek Corner?
是的 那是他们常去的地方
Yeah, that’s where they hang out.
具体哪些人
Who are they exactly?
你知道的 大基和他的朋友们
You know, Big G and his friends.
诺尔曼·甘密尔 凯伦·康纳 斯图尔特·霍弗斯泰特
Norman Gummier, Karen Connor, Stuart Hoffstetter.
怪胎角落
Geek Corner?
是的 他们就这么叫它
Yeah, that’s what they call it.
又是”他们” 安迪 你刚刚不也这么叫吗
“They” again, Andy? Isn’t that what you just called it?
是的 但是我没那意思 我没…
Yeah, but I didn’t mean… I didn’t…
它让你想起斯坦利在那学习…
Did it occur to you that Stanley studies there…
因为 那是唯一让他觉得安逸的地方
…because that’s the only place he feels comfortable?
如果到处有人取笑你 捉弄你
How would you feel if everywhere people
你会怎么想
made fun of you and played tricks on you?
里基·布朗每天都取笑他
Ricky Brown makes fun of him every day.
他用水枪射他
Today he was squirting him with a water pistol
让他看上去 像是弄湿了自己的裤子
so it made him look like he wet his pants.
里基·布朗是个非常野蛮的家伙
Ricky Brown is a very cruel boy.
斯坦利这辈子都在受苦
Stanley has suffered his whole life.
妈妈 上帝为什么这么做 创造出大基这样的人
Why would God do that, Mom? Make someone look like Big G?
让所有人都取笑他
So that everyone makes fun of him?
可能上帝一开始并 没觉得他有什么不对劲
Maybe because God didn’t see anything wrong with him in the first place.
还有 安迪…
And, Andy…
他的名字叫斯坦利
…his name is Stanley.
所以你会如何解决大基事件
So how are you gonna get around the Big G thing?
我没法逃避
There is no way around it.
总有办法的 比如逃学
There’s always a way. Quit school.
是啊 我还是自杀算了
Yeah, I could also kill myself.
还有别的妙计吗
Any other brilliant ideas?
-事情还可能更糟 知道吗 -为什么呢
-Could be worse, you know? -How is that?
里基·布朗可能会揍你一顿
Ricky Brown could wanna kick your butt or something.
那倒也是
True.
你听说西蒙赢了辆车吗
Did you hear about Simon winning that car?
-什么 不 一辆车 -是的 报纸上有一个比赛
-What? No. A car? -Yeah, there was a contest in the paper.
参赛者必须用25个字写出 拯救世界 创造和平的方法
He had to write in 25 words how to save the world, or make peace, or whatever.
-西蒙赢了 -酷
-Simon won. -Cool.
西蒙先生是个天才
Mr. Simon’s a genius.
-哪种汽车 -庞蒂亚克GTO
-What kind of car? -Pontiac GTO.
有史以来最烂的车
Most bitching car ever made.
她在那
There she is.
放弃吧 尼克尔
Give it up, Nichol.
做做梦还不行吗
Hey, I can dream.
玛丽·克莉在她的时代里是个传奇
Mary Clear was a legend in her own time.
她已经在八年级确立了 自己接吻大♥师♥的地位
She had established herself as the make-out artist in the eighth-grade class.
所有人都和玛丽·克莉接过吻
Everybody who was anybody had made out with Mary Clear.
所有人 除了我
Everybody, that is, except me.
如果玛丽·克莉是学校里最有魅力的女孩
If Mary Clear was the most attractive girl in the school…
那么凯伦·康纳 有人会说 是最平庸的
…then Karen Connor, one could argue, was the homeliest.
极品丑女总是比她的男伴更糟糕
And the homeliest girl always had it worse than her male counterpart.
如果象人有个双胞胎姐妹
It’s like, if the Elephant Man had an identical twin sister…
和她比起来也不会更丑
…somehow she would seem homelier.
上帝
Oh, God.
上帝
Oh, my God.
是傻瓜康纳
It’s Cootie Connor.
傻瓜康纳 我要完蛋了 完蛋了
Cootie Connor. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.
我要完蛋了
I’m gonna die.
上帝 上帝
Oh, God. Oh, God.
傻瓜康纳
Cootie Connor.
如果你接触了那个可怕的傻瓜
There was one and only one kid you would go to
只有一个人可以帮助你
if you contracted the dreaded cooties.
他就是麦伦·斯托尔特
And that kid was Myron Stort.
斯托尔特是解决傻瓜事宜的常驻专家
The Stort was the resident expert on all things concerning cooties.
-斯托尔特 -詹森·菲涅尔急需斯托尔特
-Stort. -Jason Freel needed Stort in a bad way.
斯托尔特 你一定要帮我
Stort, you gotta help me, man.
在走廊上 我恰好撞上傻瓜康纳 整个人都撞在一起
I just ran right into Cootie Connor in the hallway. Full body contact.
别靠近我
Keep your distance.
安全起见 所有人撤离这里
Everybody out of here. For your own protection.
菲涅尔像个麻风病人 突然闯入一场狂热的派对
Freel was like a leper crashing a hot tub party.
只有一人原地不动 那就是斯托尔特
The only one who stood his ground was the Stort.
他很清楚 现在只有他能解救菲涅尔
Knowing full well, he was the only one that could save Freel now.
-我需要你 你一定得帮帮我 -闭嘴
-I need you, man. You gotta help me. -Shut up, man.
小子 这可不容易 你必须这么做
This isn’t gonna be easy, man. Here’s what you gotta do.
-你要再去碰她 -不 不可能 我不要 我不能
-You gotta touch her again. -No, man. No way. I won’t. I can’t.