不要忘了要把每一捆钞票都抖出来
Don’t forget to shake every last bundle out.
如果可以的话 咳嗽一两声
If you can, you know, give a cough or two.
一但钞票全倒在地上
Once it’s all out on the floor,
告诉他们你将要怎么处理它
tell them what you’re going to do with it.
我要怎么处理它
What am I going to do with it?
你要把它捐出去
You’re going to donate it.
对 成立朗尼·劳治癌病基金
Yeah. Start the Lorne Lutch Cancer Foundation.
你就会得到一个牧场和义卖♥♥会
You’re going to have a ranch and a fair
和五千块 五千肯定有 电视
and a 5K. A 5K is a must. Television…
等一下
Wait a minute.
那我的家庭怎么办
What about my family?
但 朗尼 你不能占有这笔钱
But, Lorne, you can’t keep the money.
为什么不行
Why the hell not?
你是什么意思
What do you mean?
先公开指责我们 然后占有这笔抚恤金吗
Denounce us, and then keep the blood money?
我的意思是 看看它
I mean, look at it.
我得考虑一下
I got to think this over.
朗尼
Lorne, whoa.
新闻不是那样运作的
News doesn’t work that way.
你不能下周再公开指责我们
You can’t denounce us next week.
我想我也不能先留一半的钱 再公开指责你们
I don’t suppose I can denounce you for half of it.
不能 朗尼 你要么收下所有的钱
No, Lorne. Either you keep all the money,
要么你 你全都捐出去
or you… you give it all away.
爸 你怎么知道
Dad, how did you know
他会收下那钱
he would take the money?
你一定是真的疯了 才会拒绝这么多钱
You’d have to be crazy to turn down all that money.
当我看到他没疯时 我就知道他会收下
When I saw he wasn’t crazy, I knew he’d take it.
你会收下吗
Would you have taken it?
如果我是他 当然会
If I were him? Sure.
我也会
So would I.
我想你不明白 先生
I don’t think you understand, sir.
他就象只野兽
He’s like a wild animal.
你必须得随时提防他
You’ll have to be on your guard at all times.
他有这种伎俩
He has this trick.
罗恩 闭嘴
Ron, shut up.
我跟总裁 律师 印第安人酋长都交过手
I’ve tangoed with presidents, lawyers and Indian chiefs.
我想我能对付尼克·内勒先生
I think I can handle Mr. Nick Naylor.
好 欢迎回来
All right, welcome back, kids.
今晚我们节目有两位嘉宾来做客
We’ve got two guests on the show tonight.
首先 在华盛顿演播室的 加入我们的是
First, joining us from our Washington studio…
我得把那条领带剪短一点
I must have that tie clip!
是来自佛蒙特州的参议员
…is the senator from the great state of Vermont.
请欢迎奥多兰·菲利斯蒂尔
Please welcome Ortolan Finistirre.
欢迎 参议员
Welcome, Senator.
很高兴来到这里 丹尼斯
Good to be here, Dennis.
还有 在洛杉矶演播室加入我们的
And, joining us here in our Los Angeles studio,
他是烟草研究学院的
he is the chief spokesperson
首席发言人
for the Academy ofTobacco Studies.
多么威严的议院 介意我这么说吗
Quite an august chamber, might I add?
尼克·内勒 尼克 欢迎 -很高兴来到这里
Nick Naylor. Nick, welcome. -Pleasure to be here.
好了 我知道你最近上了琼·兰登的节目
All right, I understand you were on Joan Lunden’s show recently.
但并没在那交到多少朋友 是吗
Didn’t make a lot of friends over there, did you?
我会说我不认为
I will say that I don’t think
我会收到一年一度的请柬
I’ll be getting my annual invitation
去菲利斯蒂尔的劳动节烧烤餐会了
to the Finistirre Labor Day Barbecue.
对 我继续公开邀请内勒先生
Well, I continue to offer an open invitation to Mr. Naylor
去参加我们的议会 去谈论一下
to join us in Congress to talk about the inclusion
我们的新有毒标签的内涵 这东西 如果我说
of our new poison label which, if I might say…
尼克 准备去跋涉到国会山
Nick, ready to trek up the Hill and testify
并在国会上作证吗
before Congress?
我很乐意 丹尼斯 只要议员
Well, I’d love to, Dennis, but not as long as the senator
不要求我被炒鱿鱼
is calling for me to be fired.
这不完全是个欢迎邀请
It’s not exactly a welcome invitation.
是 信息有点混乱 议员
Yeah. Bit of a mixed message, Senator.
对 但没有“大烟草公♥司♥”对于吸烟
Well, not as mixed as the stance that Big Tobacco has taken
的危害性的立场那么混乱
about the dangers of smoking cigarettes.
噢 不 -现在你在笑什么
Oh, no. -Now what are you laughing?
你是个易激动的艺术家 让他说一下
You’re a wind-up artist. Give the man his due.
他可能有些观点发表 不是吗
He’s got a bit of a point there, doesn’t he?
对不起 我只是控制不了自己 丹尼斯
Sorry. I just can’t help myself, Dennis.
我 我 我只是被佛蒙特州的先生
I… I… I’m just tickled by the idea
的想法逗笑了
of the gentleman from Vermont
他称我是伪君子 但 又是此人
calling me a hypocrite when, uh… this same man,
在某天 召开了记者招待会
in one day, held a press conference where he called
来呼吁美国烟草种植地应被削减和烧毁
for the American tobacco fields to be slashed and burned,
然后他就跳上架私人飞机
then he jumped on a private jet
美国一年一度的呼吁援助农民的音乐会
飞到“农田资助音乐会” 还在台上乘着拖拉机
and flew down to Farm Aid where he rode a tractor onstage
哦 得了吧 -然后他就哀叹到美国农民的衰败
Oh, come on. -As he bemoaned the downfall of the American farmer.
想给点评论吗 议员
Care to comment, Senator?
呃 我 不
He… I… No.
简短而意味深长
Eloquent in its brevity.
令人冲动的话题
Emotional issue.
现在让我们来接听些电♥话♥
Let’s take some phone calls now.
维珍尼亚州的赫顿 说吧 你上节目了
Herndon, Virginia. Go ahead. You’re on the show.
丹尼斯 有没有人宣布过他会
Dennis, has anyone ever announced that they’re going
杀掉你节目上的某个人吗
to kill someone live on your show?
我的节目录像被认为很诡异 但 不 此时此刻
My demo’s been called quirky but, no, at this point,
我们还没有扯到情绪不稳定上
we’re not skewing to the emotionally unstable.
那么今天是你的幸运日
Then it’s your lucky day.
因为我要告诉你在一个星期之内
Because I’m here to tell you that, within a week,
我们将要把内勒先生从这个星球上铲除出去
we’re going to dispatch Mr. Naylor from this planet
因为他给这个世界带来了痛苦和灾难
for all the pain and suffering he’s caused in the world.
就向我说的 令人冲动的话题 我们现在要休息一下
As I said, emotional issue. We’re going to break now.
我得去开除那个筛选电♥话♥的人
I got to fire a call screener.
走吧
Let’s go.
我是尼克内勒 告诉你的孩子
This is Nick Naylor telling you kids,
“不要吸毒 吸烟吧”
“Don’t do drugs, smoke cigarettes.”
很不错
That’s really great.
就象我在镜子看到了自己
It’s like I’m looking in a mirror.
新主意
New idea:
给流浪者的香烟
Cigarettes for the homeless.
我们叫它“流浪烟”
We’ll call them “hobos.”
恩 糟透了
Uh, that’s awful.
比“六元空间”好一些吗
Any better than “Sector Sixes”?
对
Right.
哗 天 尼克 你上电视了
Oh, my God, Nick, you’re on TV.
“说客得小心”
“Lobbyist on the lookout.”
你是在跟我开玩笑吧
You got to be kidding me.
我想一边干♥你♥ 一边看电视上的你
I want to fuck you while I watch you on TV.
然后别人会叫我变♥态♥
And they call me sick.
快
Hurry.
在你那段播完之前
Before your segment ends.
好
All right.
告诉我更多关于洛杉矶的事 宝贝
Tell me more about Los Angeles, baby.
他说我到哪里都要跟着我
He says he wants to trail me everywhere,
我问 “谁付的钱”
I said, “Who’s paying for it?”
他说是烟草公♥司♥付的
He says the tobacco company’s paying for it.
我说 “我不需要保镖”
I said, “I don’t need a bodyguard.”
我是人♥民♥的代言人
I’m a man of the people.
指美国第35任总统 遇刺身亡
加油 肯尼迪
Rock on, Kennedy.
听着 我们不久都得需要保镖的
Listen, we’re all going to need bodyguards soon enough.
你看到这个周末给胎儿酒精综合症患者的
Did you see the coverage the fetal alcohol people
保险金总额吗
got themselves over this weekend?
他们这样做就好像我们在鼓励
They made it seem like we were encouraging
孕妇去喝酒
pregnant women to drink.
我很惊讶为什么我
I’m surprised I didn’t get kidnapped
今天上班的时候还没有被绑♥架♥
on my way to work this morning.
我不认为酒精饮料产业的人
I don’t think people from the alcoholic beverage industry
现在需要担心会被绑♥架♥
need to worry about being kidnapped just yet.