摇滚之神（2006）

而且这是事实
and it’s the truth.
“我他妈的爱死这个乐队了！”
“l fucking love this band!”
他们是史上最棒的乐队，毋庸置疑！
They are the best band ever, period!
女士们，先生们！ 狂热的D
Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!
嗨，大家好
Hey, what’s up?
我和凯奇五分钟前写的这首歌♥
Me and KG wrote this song five minutes ago.
叫作《大♥师♥的爆发》
It’s called Master Exploder.
啊-啊-啊-啊
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
啊-啊-啊-啊 耶！
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh yeah!
我不需要 – 他不需要
I do not need – He does not need
麦克风 – 麦克风
A microphone – A microphone
我的嗓音就是他妈的 – 他妈的
My voice is fucking – Fucking
震撼人心
Powerful
啊，耶！
Ahh, yeah!
啊，啊，耶！
Ah, ahh, yeah!
很抱歉
Sorry.
我不是故意的 – 他不是故意的
I did not mean – He did not mean
让你震撼到脑浆四溢 – 让你震撼到脑浆四溢
To blow your mind – To blow your mind
但这事我常干
But that shit happens to me all the ti-i-i-ime
来，看一看 – 看一看
Now, take a look – Take a look
告诉我你看到什么 – 看到什么
Tell me what you see – What you see
我们拿到了宿命拨片
We got the Pick of Destiny–y–y
啊-啊-啊 耶！
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh yeah!
哇哦！
Woah!
JB！JB！
JB! JB! JB! JB!
JB！JB！
JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!
JB！JB！ – JB！JB！
JB! JB! JB! – JB. JB. JB.
JB！JB！ – JB！JB！
JB! JB! JB! – JB. JB. JB.
JB，醒醒！
JB, wake up. JB, wake up!
我们去吃些东西，老兄
Let’s chow down, dude.
我饿死了 – 好吧
I’m starving. – OK.
你们想要什么？
You guys know what you want?
呃
Hmm.
有什么推荐的？
What do you recommend?
我推荐你点些吃的
I recommend that you order some food.
好吧
OK.
呃，我要一份炸鸡，一块牛排
Uh–Lemme have the fried chicken and a steak…
以及一份酥炸牛排
and the chicken-fried steak.
你好
Hello.
呃，你眼睛怎么了？
Um–What happened to your eye?
被卷发夹烫着了
I burned it with a curling iron.
我要一小杯胡萝卜汁
I’ll have one small glass of carrot juice.
这儿没有这个
Yeah, we don’t have that here.
那我什么也不要
Then I will have nothing.
好的
Great.
老兄怎么了？ – 什么？
Dude, what’s the matter? – Dude?
你不饿么？ 该吃点什么
Aren’t you hungry? You should eat somethin’.
不，我表演前从不吃东西
No. I never eat before a mission.
那会让你慢下来
It slows you down.
我要如同舞蹈家般轻柔的起舞
I gotta be light on my feet like a dancer.
就像个忍♥者，老兄
Like a fuckin’ ninja, dude.
先看这个
Now check this out.
我会在这里跳过栅栏
I’m gonna jump this fence here.
怎么样？就像个瞪羚
OK? Like a gazelle.
然后你绕过来
Then you come around that fuckin’ bend.
老天，妈的，凯勒！
God! Damn it, Kyle!
如果我们要做成功你必须集中注意力！
If we’re gonna do this, you gotta stay focused.
要有le tigre乐队那样的眼神！
Eye of le tigre!
先看这个
Now check it out.
你先推我一下，很有男人味的那种
You give me a fuckin’ boost, He-Man style.
然后我们要做一个滚地爬
And then we’re gonna fuckin’ do a little mini-tiger roll…
然后回来 – 噢，天，好了
And come on back. – Oh, my God. Stop it!
我把你拖起来
I fuckin’ pull your shit up.
老兄，等下，你的计划很不多
Dude, hold on. That’s good stuff.
你说的对，他过来了
You’re right, he’s coming over here.
噢！ – 真♥他♥妈♥见鬼
Oh! – Fuckin’ dick squeezer.
啊！
Aaah!
呃…
Uh–
嗨
Hey…
老弟
buddy.
呵呵
Heh heh heh.
嗯，什么风把你们
So, uh, what, uh, brings you…
吹到这来了？
to this neck of the woods?
嗯，我们只是因公出差
Um–Ahem. We’re just on a little business trip.
哦
Mm.
你们…呃…打算…嗯…
Are you, uh, going to, uh…
去参观摇滚历史博物馆么？
check out the Rock & Roll History Museum?
摇滚…什么？ – 历史博物馆
The Rock & Roll what? – History Museum.
哦，不，不 我不知道你在讲些什么
Oh, no. I don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about.
你看起来就像是个搞摇滚的人呀
You just seem like Rock & Roll types to me.
哈哈！ – 呃，不，我们不是那类人
Ha ha! – Yeah, well, we’re not.
我们只是两个白♥痴♥生意人
We’re just two fuckin’ businessmen…
要去萨克拉门托做点狗屁生意
on our way to see some shit in Sacramento.
哦，那，对不起 – 嗯，好，好
So, sorry. – Hmm. Yes. Yes.
我问这个是因为
I was just asking because…
我看到你们车后座上放着吉他
I noticed the guitars in the back seat of your car.
对啊，是啊，我说过 我们是两个白♥痴♥生意人
Yeah, well, I said, we’re fuckin’ businessmen.
我们卖♥♥吉他，就这点小事 没什么大不了的吧？
We sell guitars. So what? Big deal. End of story.
结♥帐♥！
Check, please!
你们真的没有打算
You’re sure you aren’t planning…
潜入摇滚历史博物馆？
on breaking into the Rock & Roll History Museum?
嘿！还给我！
Hey, gimme that back, man!
是啊，我和我兄弟组了个乐队
Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.
我不想提乐团的名字 但是，嗯，我们写了几首曲子…
I don’t like to say the name, but uh, we had some hits…
所以，嗯，他们要把我们
And so, uh, they’re inductin’ us…
收录进摇滚历史博物馆了
into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
不是真的吧！ – 呵呵
No way! – Aaah.
就是真的
Way.
哦，上帝，我们和名星坐在一起吗？
Oh, my God. We’re sitting with someone famous?
啊，我们只是普通人
Ah, we’re just regular guys.
我的意思是，嗯 我们也只是血肉之躯
I mean, uh, we’re just flesh and… bone.
假设你们要
Let’s just say you are planning…
潜入摇滚历史博物馆
on breaking into the Rock & Roll History Museum.
也许你人生地不熟的
Maybe you are inexperienced…
进去之后迷了路，哭得像小女孩似的
and you get inside and cry like little girl.
也许你缺少成功的条件
Maybe you don’t have what it takes to get the job done.
失陪了
‘Scuse me.
哦，天哪！
Man, God!
该死
Yeah. Damn.
我想，你们可能非常
I was thinking maybe there was something in that museum…
想要博物馆里的一样东西
you had a desire for.
可能是…
Maybe–
宿命拨片！
Pick of Destiny!
我们女生联谊会 今晚将举♥行♥一个大型狂欢会
Our sorority is throwing a huge bash tonight.
你们绝对应该过来
You guys should totally come…
在聚会上演奏几首歌♥
and play some of your songs at the party.
我们正准备过去
We’re just getting ready to head over there right now.
为什么不跟着我们呢？
Why don’t you follow us over?
你知道吗？
You know what?
这听起来棒极了
That sounds rad.
我们从来不在私人聚会上演奏
We don’t usually play private parties…
但是我想今天可以让某些人美梦成真
but I think we can make some dreams come true tonight.
哈哈哈哈
Hee hee hee hee!
我会坐在你旁边
I’ll ride along with you.
这样你们就不会迷路了
So you don’t get lost.
我也曾试过去拿宿命拨片
I tried to get the Pick of Destiny once.
那个时候，我已经亲手拿到了它
I had it in my hands, too.
但是我被发现了，碰到了个激光
But I was caught. Set off a laser.
防盗门砸在了我的腿上
Security door came down on my leg.
把我的腿给砸断了 – 哦
Cut it right off. – Ooh.