自闭历程（2010）

gǒu狗
Dog.
恬普，狗
Temple. Dog.
恬普，māo猫
Temple. Cat.
猫
Cat.
恬普，试试看
Temple, try.
妈…咪
Mommy.
妈咪
Mommy.
我知道妳听得见我
I know you can hear me.
好，妈咪需要休息五分钟
All right. I think Mommy needs a five-minute break.
好了吗？
Okay?
嗯
Okay.
（法语）
不，我不想修法语 我想修自然科
No. I don’t want to study French. I want to learn science.
请妳阅读这一页
Read the page, please.
看完了
Read it.
上面说什么？
And what did it say?
（法语）
妳，妳学过？
You…You learned it?
我只是看它
I just looked at it.
然后心里就会有一页，我就照着念
Then I have the page in my mind and can read off the page.
我看到图形然后连接它们
I see pictures and connect them.
嘿，给我占个座位!
Hey, save me a seat!
让我瞅瞅，来这！
Let me see. Come out here.
-约翰，我给你占位置了 -从这过来
– John, I got one for you. – Coming through.
当心
Watch out!
我只吃果冻和优格
I only eat Jell-O and yogurt!
我只…我只吃果冻和优格
I only… I only eat Jell-O and yogurt!
看到她了吗？
You see her?
对不起
Excuse me?
我是妳的室友
I’m your roommate.
妳在做什么？
What are you doing?
这是我刚做的机器
It’s a machine I just made.
感觉像是搂抱
It feels like a hug.
妳想搂抱吗？感觉非常好
Do you want a hug? It feels really good.
妳进到机器里面让妳觉得像母牛吗？
So when you got in your machine, did it make you feel like a cow?
不，我不觉得像母牛
No, I didn’t feel like a cow.
但它让妳愉快
But it gave you pleasure.
让我觉得舒服和温柔
It made me feel good, gentle.
搂抱让妳觉得舒服
The hug made you feel good.
是的
Yes.
但妳不喜欢别人碰妳
But you don’t like to be touched by people.
对
No.
妳喜欢碰自己吗？
Do you like to touch yourself?
自己碰触还好
Touching myself’s okay.
但挤压机碰妳的时候妳会舒服一点？
But when the squeeze machine touches you, it feels better?
是的
Yes.
让妳解放？
It gives you release?
是的，解放
Yes, there is release.
但我需要
But I need it!
让我们把它抬出去
Let’s take it down.
我做的机器是我的
I built it! It’s mine!
什么声音？
What’s all the noise?
什么？住手！
Wait! Stop it!
变♥态♥！
Pervert.
拿稳了吗？
Got it?
是的，我抓紧了
Yeah, I got it.
扔吧
Okay.
23小时59分
Twenty three hours, 59 minutes
4，3，2，1
Four, three, two, one.
时间到，索罗先生
Zero hour, Mr. Solo!
喂！
Hey!
你在做什么？
What are you doing?
停！
Stop!
我叫你停！
I said stop!
她说春假之后不回学校，除非可以让她带这东西
She says she’s not going back after spring break unless she can take it with her.
妳还在吗？
Are you still there?
在，我真不认为是好主意
Yes. And I really don’t think it’s a good idea.
对她有效
It works for her.
这正是我们挣扎着要远离的东西
It’s everything we’ve been struggling to get away from.
他们说得很清楚，她房♥间里不能有设备
They were perfectly clear. No devices in her room.
还有比把她标记为怪胎更好的方法吗？
Could there be a better way to mark her as a weirdo and an oddball?
让我们试试，好吗？
Just let us try, okay?
就这样？
So that’s it.
好
Okay!
这会让我温柔
It makes me gentle.
才15分钟她就变了一个人
She’s a different person after just 15 minutes.
变了一个人？妳要怎么解释？
A different person? How can you explain that?
我无法解释机器为何有效，但我知道跟性无关
I can’t explain why the machine works, but I know it’s not sexual.
就像恬普说的：这可以安抚她
As Temple says, it calms her.
这只是让我深信我们没有能力应付葛兰亭小姐的需求
Look, all this does is to convince me that we’re not equipped to deal with Ms. Grandin’s needs.
这使她成为更好的学生
It makes her a better student.
她能够专心，能够更渴望跟别人互动
She’s able to concentrate, to interact with others more easily…
这不太科学，没有实验证明…
This isn’t very scientific. There is no empirical evidence…
我可以做实验
I can do an experiment.
我可以看它对别人是否有用
I can…I can see how it works on other people.
我可以测量心跳
I can measure heart rates.
我想对任何人都有效
I think it’ll work on everyone.
我们坦白说吧
Let’s talk frankly.
我不确定妳上法兰克林大学能学到任何东西
I’m not sure you can get anything from being at Franklin Pierce.
听她的话吧，她想做自己的实验
Listen to what she’s saying. She wants to do her own science experiment,
这是你在她的心理学课程中可以评估的东西
something you can evaluate in her psychology course.
我有笔和记事板
I have a pen and a clipboard.
时间到
Time.
妳是否觉得A，有幽闭恐惧？
Do you feel, A, claustrophobic,
B，有拘束？
B, constricted,
C，没差别？
C, no different,
D，舒适？
D, comfortable,
E，放松？
E, relaxed?
倒数第二个是什么？
What was the one before last?
D，舒适
D, comfortable.
是的，很舒适
Yes, I’m quite comfortable.
好的
Okay.
C，没差别
C, no different.
A，幽闭恐惧
A, claustrophobic!
我想我觉得很放松
I guess I feel relaxed.
非常放松
Very relaxed.
哦，天啊
Oh, my God.
F，怪胎
“F” for “Freak.”
喂？汉普夏郡中学吗？
Hello? Hampshire Country School?
我找卡洛克博士说话
I need to speak to Dr. Carlock!
卡洛克博士？好的，请等一下
Dr. Carlock? Yes. Please hold.
（四年前）
-你做的很好 -我做到了
– You’re doing great. – I’m going.
（寄宿学校 新罕普夏州 1962)
过来，小猪
Here, piggy, piggy, piggy.
真是个好孩子
You’re such a good boy.
让我来拿吧
Please, here, take this.
我来拿这些
I’ll take these.
欢迎，原谅这里这么脏乱
Welcome. Excuse the mess.
我们刚开教职员会议
We just had a staff meeting.
好，他们来了
Good. They’re here.
恬普葛兰亭
Temple Grandin,
我希望妳见见贺其斯老师
I would like you to meet Mr. Hodges.
他是我们的数学老师
He is our mathematics teacher.
恬普，过来
Temple, come here.
你好，我是恬普，幸会
Hello, I’m Temple. It’s very nice to meet you.
这位是达维迪小姐—我们的法文老师
This is Mademoiselle Davide. She is our French teacher.
你好，我是恬普，幸会
Hello, I’m Temple, very nice to meet you.
妳好，小姐
Hello, miss
嗨，我是卡洛克博士，我教自然
Hi, I’m Dr. Carlock. I teach science.
你是科学家吗？
Are you a scientist?
恬普
Temple.