泰迪熊（2012）

很抱歉打扰你们
I’m sorry to bother you
我跟我儿子实在真的很喜欢你的泰迪熊
but my son and I couldn’t help but admire your teddy bear.
-多谢夸奖 -多谢
– Oh, thank you. – Thanks.
我叫唐尼 这是我儿子劳勃
Yeah. I’m Donny, this is Robert.
我得说 从我还是个孩子的时候
I have to say, I’ve been following you
就是你的追星族
ever since I was a young boy.
我还记得你上卡尔森脱口秀
and I remember seeing you on the Carson show.
你表现得太棒了
You were just wonderful.
那个脱口秀真奇怪
Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview.
艾德以为我是外星人
Ed thought I was ALF,
还一直在咕哝犹太人如何不好
and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments.
不知为何他觉得外星人都是犹太血统
He thought ALF was Jewish for some reason.
你考虑过把这只熊卖♥♥掉吗
Have you ever considered selling the bear?
-什么 -你说什么
– What? – Excuse me?
我想要这东西
I want it.
我不是个东西 我是个人 懂吗
I’m not an “It,” Pal. I’m a “He,” All right?
抱歉 小家伙 我的熊不卖♥♥
I’m sorry, little guy, but my bear isn’t for sale.
我像你这么大的时候就有他了
See, I’ve had him since I was about your age.
他对我有特别的意义
He’s very, very special to me.
跟我讲话的时候站直了
Stand up straight when you’re talking to me.
这他妈怎么说话的
Why the fuck would he say that?
抱歉 但你不该在孩子面前爆粗口
Sorry, you really shouldn’t swear in front of children.
我们对你的熊真的很感兴趣
Look, we’re very interested in the bear.
你如果愿意出手的话
If you want to make some sort of arrangement,
这是我的地址和电♥话♥
here’s my address and phone number.
随时联♥系♥ 好吗
And you can call me any time, okay?
明白
Will do.
像这样重要的东西
Here it goes, in the really important pocket
得放进重要的钱包里
for really important stuff.
回头见
Okay. See you later.
走了 劳勃
Come on, Robert.
别激动
Take it easy.
真操蛋
What the fuck?
猜猜那个小杂种会怎么对我
Can you imagine what that little shit would do to me?
绝对会把你带到地下室
I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement
一边哼着黑暗童谣
and really slowly de-limbing you
一边把你大卸八块
while singing some creepy Victorian nursery rhyme.
亲亲小便士 亲亲小便士
Oh, my little sixpence my pretty little sixpence
闭嘴 别唱了
Stop it. Knock it off.
我爱小便士 胜过爱自己
I love my sixpence Better than my life
闭嘴 靠 你非得说出来吗
Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place?
搞得太逼真了 跟真的一样
You took it to a very… Now it’s real. Now it’s a real thing.
好了 别紧张
Come on. Take it easy.
咱们另找个地方爽吧
All right, look, Let’s just find a better place to get stoned.
就这样了 是吧
I guess this is it, huh?
是啊
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
离家的第一晚
First night on your own.
在新家的第一晚
Yeah, first night in my beautiful new apartment.
添置点家具肯定很棒
It’ll be great when it’s furnished.
房♥东说这里几乎没发生过凶案
Yeah, and the guy said it ain’t hardly had no murders in it.
挺好的
So, that’s good.
有任何需要的话…
Okay, so, if you need anything…
知道 放心吧 我没问题的
Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, Johnny, I’ll be fine.
我知道
I know you will.
好吧
All right.
早上好
Hey there.
早
Hey.
我想对你说声谢谢
Listen, I just want to say thank you.
我知道让泰迪搬走对你来说很艰难
I know what you did with Ted wasn’t easy,
我很感激你作出的牺牲
and I just want you to know that I love you for it,
让我们的关系有了一个全新的开始
and I think it’s a new beginning for our relationship.
为了你什么都行
Hey, anything for you.
这就是全新成年人约翰·班尼特
This is all part of the new, grown-up adult John Bennett,
你要尽快适应
so you better get used to him.
真的吗
Really?
知道吗
Well, you know,
我还要20分钟才上班
I don’t have to be at work for another 20 minutes.
太好了
Well, that’s perfect.
因为我只需要1分钟就能搞定
Because I’m only going to need one.
知道我最喜欢你哪点吗
You know what my favorite thing about you is?
你总能带给我惊喜 即使已经4年了
That, even after four years, you can still surprise me.
为了让女朋友更快乐
To step up and change such a huge part of your life
可以完全改变自己的生活
just to make your girlfriend happier.
我想大部分男人都做不到
I don’t know, I guess most guys wouldn’t do that.
他们改变的回报不是你 当然没动力了
Well, most guys don’t have you to motivate them.
我不是一只会说话的泰迪熊
I know I’m not a talking teddy bear,
但至少你用不着许魔法愿望就能得到我
but at least you didn’t have to make a magical wish to get me.
你怎么知道用不着
How do you know?
是因为那把飞侠戈登激光枪
Is that a Flash Gordon ray gun,
还是因为你碰到我让你这么激动
or are you just happy to see me?
给你
There we go.
多谢惠顾 欢迎下次光临
Thank you very much, please come again.
我们货源充足
We have a lot more groceries.
埃兰
Hey, Ellen.
什么事
Yeah?
那边那位是谁
Who’s that over there?
新来的收银妹
That’s the new checkout girl.
不知道叫什么 挺漂亮的
Don’t know her name. Seems cute.
相当漂亮 知道我要做什么吗
Yeah, very cute. Do you know what I’d like to do to her?
我这招叫毛熊诱惑
Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
好吧 起码知道底线在这里了
Okay, all right, so that’s where we’ll draw the line.
近来如何
Hey, how are you holding up?
挺好的 正在努力适应 就这样
Oh, I’m all right. I’m just getting used to things, that’s all.
会好起来的
It’s going to be all right.
其实我跟上一个男朋友
I actually went through
也经历过类似的事情
something like this with my last boyfriend.
-真的 -对
– Really? – Yeah.
我们相处了8个月 我非常爱他
We were together for eight months, and I really loved him.
后来他被驱逐回伊朗了
And then he got deported back to Iran,
我理解你的心情
so I know what you’re going through.
这么说我们都失去了一个毛茸茸的小家伙
Oh, yeah. So, I guess we both lost our furry little guy.
没错
We sure did.
-泰迪 -约翰尼 干什么呢
– Hey, Ted. – Hey, Johnny, what are you doing?
想过来嗑两口吗
You want to come over and catch a buzz?
我下班之后过去
Well, I could probably stop by after work.
真不巧 我昨天跟人换班 今天晚班
Fuck that. I traded off yesterday so I got the other shift.
我快闷死了 过来玩一会
Come on, I’m bored as crap over here. Just swing by for a bit.
我不能随便翘班 老兄
I cannot just ditch work, man.
为了劳里 我得成熟起来
Look, I’m trying to get my shit together
把自己的烂摊子整理好
and be an adult here, for Lori’s sake.
约翰 就5分钟 保证到点就赶你走
John, five minutes and then I’ll kick you out, I promise.
快来 我弄到了《干杯》的DVD套碟
Just come over. I got the Cheers DVD box set
音像店的人跟我说
and the guy down at the store told me
访谈里大家互相大爆猛料
that everybody talks shit about each other in the interviews.
5分钟就赶我走
You’ll kick me out in five?
5分钟就赶你走 约翰 必须的
I will kick you out in five. John, I have to kick you out.
还有好多熊事等着我处理呢 烦死了
I have so much teddy bear paperwork I have to get to. It is sick.
我怎么跟托马斯说
What do I tell Thomas?
就说你不舒服
Just tell him you don’t feeI well.
我得出去一会
I gotta cut out for a bit.
劳里想阻止一群狗打架
Lori tried to break up a dog fight
结果受伤不轻
and I guess she got hurt pretty bad.
天啊
Oh, my God!
她就是这样
Yeah, that’s the way she is.
看见有麻烦就上去帮忙
She sees trouble and she wants to help out,
貌似有只狗咬住她胳膊不放
and I guess one of these dogs clamped his jaws on her forearm
直到消防员赶来
and wouldn’t let go until the fireman showed up
用手指插他屁♥眼♥才松口
and stuck his finger in his ass.
老天
Oh, Jesus.
她真吓坏了
Yeah, she’s pretty shook up.