泰迪熊（2012）

因为我爱你
You know I love you.
-我也爱你 -你真风♥骚♥
– I love you, too. – And you’re nasty.
想做点风♥骚♥的事情吗
Do you want to get nasty?
你这个小妖精
You’re a nasty girl.
我真不明白
I don’t understand.
都35岁了
Thirty-five years old and
这么点雷都能吓着你
you’re still scared of a little thunder.
我才没怕呢
I am not!
雷霆兄弟一生相伴 对吗 约翰尼
Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
太他妈对了
Fucking right.
-来 一起唱避雷歌♥ -好的
– Come on. Let’s sing the thunder song. – All right.
当你听到雷声 请不要怕怕
When you hear the sound of thunder, don’t you get too scared
抓紧雷霆兄弟 咒语念一下
Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words:
雷公我♥草♥泥马 为我吹♥萧♥吧
Fuck you, thunder! You can suck my dick.
老天放的响屁 弱小微似渣
You can’t get me, thunder. ‘Cause you’re just God’s farts.
劳里 把闹钟定到11点好吗
Lori, can you set the alarm for 11:00 A.M.?
明天我得早起 有一档子事情要干
I’ve got a lot of stuff to do tomorrow.
早上好 劳里
Good morning, Lori.
早上好
Good morning.
你还好吧 亲爱的
You okay there, sweetheart?
看你魂不守舍的
You look a little flustered.
没事 我没事
I’m fine, I’m fine,
没工夫吃早饭 还没抢到车位
I just didn’t have time for breakfast and the garage was full,
这都不算什么
and that’s right,
但是我的男朋友居然在打雷的时候
my boyfriend can’t sleep through a thunderstorm
没泰迪熊陪就睡不着觉
without his teddy bear.
我不明白你怎么还在迁就他
I don’t understand why you keep putting up with him.
他都35岁了
I mean, the guy’s 35,
还在一个租车行打工
and he’s working for a rental car service.
我倒不是因为这点生气
You know, you guys, it’s really not about that.
我其实并不在乎这些
I don’t care about that.
就算他是个看门大爷我也爱他
I mean, I’d love him if he was a janitor.
他很有气度 我们在一起也很欢乐
I mean, he has a huge heart and we laugh a lot.
假如他是波士顿最性感男士就更好了
It’s just a bonus that he’s the hottest guy in Boston.
我只希望他能过上属于他的正常生活
I don’t know. I just wish he would get his life together.
我是说属于我们的生活 但是他不能
Our life. And he can’t.
我发誓那头熊就是罪魁祸首
And, I swear to God, it is because of that bear.
你得向他摊牌 要么是你 要么是那头熊
You should give him an ultimatum. It’s you or the bear.
我不能这么做 会让他抓狂的
No, I can’t do that. That would devastate him.
而且万一他选了泰迪怎么办
Besides, what if he chose Ted?
大家好
Well, hello there.
很抱歉打搅了你们的私房♥话
Sorry if I’m interrupting any private girl-talk
是不是讨论查宁·塔图姆的金手指呢
about Channing Tatum’s index finger.
劳里 到我办公室来一下
But, Lori, I need to see you in my office.
雷克斯 你看
The thing is, Rex,
我有很多工作要干
I have a lot of work I need to get to…
我保证这次绝对谈工作
This is work, I swear.
棒极了
Great.
-祝你好运 -谢谢
– Good luck. – Thank you.
他真令人作呕
He’s such an asshole.
别激动 他可是个卑鄙小人
Out of control. He’s such a sleaze.
我赌100块钱他在炫耀跳水队时的照片
A hundred bucks says he’s showing her the diving team photo.
看看这个
Check this out.
这是我在高中跳水队的时候
That’s me on the high school diving team.
我们当年神挡杀神 佛挡杀佛
We dove the shit out of that pool that year.
你说过叫我来是为了工作
You promised me this was about work.
劳里 为什么你不喜欢我
Lori, why don’t you like me?
我是高富帅 我爸是公♥司♥老总
I’m rich, I’m good-looking, my Dad owns the company.
我有男朋友 跟你讲过了
I have a boyfriend. I have told you this.
我知道 那个熊小子
Yeah, the guy with the bear.
但我说的是成熟的恋爱关系 劳里
But I’m talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
我们要是在一起 孩子将无与伦比
If we were together, our babies would be spectacular.
他们会拥有我高贵的白种基因和你的
With my top-of-the-pyramid Caucasian genes and your splash of
深色美丽的
dark, beautiful, smoky…
波罗的海人还是捷克人血统来着
Baltic? Czech?
再见 雷克斯
Goodbye, Rex.
这里真好
Okay, that was perfect.
请问要打包吗
Would you like me to wrap your leftovers?
不用了 谢谢
No, I’m good. Thank you.
请问就把这个打包可以吗
Actually, could you wrap just this up for me?
我想拿回去吓唬人
I want to scare the shit out of somebody.
好的
Sure.
你才五岁吗
What are you, five years old?
对 不过我有六岁的阅读水平 所以
Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so…
先生 女士 你们的甜点
Sir, and madam, here is your dessert
和香槟
and champagne.
还是水晶香槟呢
Cristal.
好酒配良宵 这可是我们四周年纪念日
It’s a special night. We’ve been dating for four years.
另外黑人富豪选择这酒总是有道理的 对吧
And, all those rich black people can’t be wrong, right?
真不敢相信已经四年了
It doesn’t feel like four years, does it?
是啊
No, it doesn’t.
你本不应该参加那个舞会
You know, you had no business being out on that dance floor,
不过你的出现让我很开心
but I’m really happy that you were.
这首歌♥真好听
This song is so great.
没错 克里斯·布朗的歌♥没有不好听的
Yeah. Chris Brown can do no wrong.
你还真能跳几下呢
You can really move.
喜欢吧 看我这招
You like that? Check this shit out.
天啊
Oh, my God!
没事吧
Are you okay?
我的天 真对不起
God, I am so sorry.
我没事 我没事
No, I’m fine, I’m fine.
老天 真抱歉 我没看见你
Jesus, I am so sorry. I didn’t see you.
我不是故意的
It was an accident.
你碰到头了吗
Did you hurt your head?
对 头很痛
Yeah, my head hurts a lot.
天啊 来 我给你弄点冰块
Oh, man. Here, let me get you some ice.
抱歉 抱歉 还痛吗
Sorry, sorry. Does it hurt?
不 没事了
No. It’s fine.
我来考考你到底有多在乎我
Okay, here’s a test to see how much you actually care about me.
那天晚上我们从酒吧出来
You remember that night, after the club
在一个小饭店吃宵夜
we went and had late-night eggs and waffles
一直待到早上5点
until about 5:00 A.M.
我们在店里的小电视上看了场电影
We watched a movie on the little TV in the diner.
那部电影是什么
Name that movie.
《八爪女》
Octopussy.
不错 赏你朵小红花
Baby! Gold star.
另外 我的舞技没那么糟糕吧
And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad.
-糟透了 -我动作很炫的
– It was pretty bad. – I have cool moves.
没错 跳得像个帕金森病人
Yeah, so do people with Parkinson’s.
我记得不是这样的
That’s not how I remember it.
那你记得是怎样的
Okay, how do you remember it?
好吧 随你怎么说
All right, whatever you say.
为下一个4年干杯
Here’s to four more years.
-干杯 -你是我的幸福之源
– Cheers. – You make me happy.
虽然说好了不送礼物 不过
Now, I know we said no gifts, but. . .
没那么说过
We said no such thing.
我还是明目张胆地破坏了”不送礼物”的规矩
I got you something anyway,
给你带了一个小礼物
in clear violation of the “No gift” Rule.
我们没定那种规矩
We had no such rule.
劳里 这东西我很早之前就想给你了
Lori, I’ve wanted to give this to you for a long time.
约翰
John. . .
是你在小摊上看中的那副吧
Those are the ones you like, right? From that kiosk at the mall.
没错
Yeah.
知道吗 劳里
You know, Lori,
总有一天那里面会是一枚戒指
someday, there’s going to be a ring in there.
那时我会为你准备一份最特别的礼物
But I want to wait until I get you something really special.
但现在我还没那么多钱
I just don’t have the money right now.
听着 我爱你才会这样说
Look, I’m only saying this because I love you.
如果你继续跟着泰迪鬼混
You’re not going to have any sort of career
你根本不会有什么事业
if you keep wasting time with Ted.