泰迪熊（2012）

我还以为你会更逗一些
I thought you were going to be funnier.
尽管名满天下
But through all the fame,
泰迪却从未忘记最好的朋友 约翰
Teddy never forgot his very best friend, John.
雷劈不到咱们的 是吧
The thunder can’t get us, right?
当然 咱们是雷霆兄弟
Nope, we’re thunder buddies,
雷也知道的
and the thunder knows it.
我们百分之百安全
We’re totally safe.
泰迪
Teddy?
怎么了 约翰
Yeah, John?
你保证我们永远在一起吗
Do you promise we’ll always be together?
我保证
I promise.
雷霆兄弟相伴一生
Thunder buddies for life.
雷霆兄弟一生相伴
Thunder buddies for life.
他们谁都没有忘记这个承诺
And that was a promise that neither one of them ever forgot.
那么约翰和泰迪现在在哪呢
So, where are John and Teddy today?
这么说吧
Well, let me put it this way.
不管你曾多么声名显赫
No matter how big a splash you make in this world,
无论你是科里·费尔德曼 弗兰奇·莫尼兹 贾斯汀·比伯
whether you’re Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber,
还是一只会说话的泰迪熊
or a talking teddy bear,
到最后 也不过是门前冷落鞍马稀
eventually, nobody gives a shit.
我的文字略懒散 我的思想微朦胧
My words are lazy, my thoughts are hazy
而于一事我确信
But this is one thing I’m sure of.
友谊长存每人心
Everybody needs a best friend!
与你结识沁心脾
I’m happy I’m yours!
形影不分永不离
You got a double,
天翻地覆惹是非
Who brings you trouble,
分别似善长久策
And though you’re better without me.
友谊长存每人心
Everybody needs a best friend!
与你结识沁心脾
I’m happy I’m yours!
傻瓜都能辨分明
A fool could see decidedly,
你我判若云和泥
That you’re a ten and I’m a three.
贵人若助攀高峰
A royal breed is what you need,
但你为何对我这小无赖不离不弃
So how did you come to be stuck with a bummer like me?!
狐朋狗友绕心头
You got a head full of someone dreadful.
全意为你无二心
But how that someone adores you.
友谊长存每人心
Everybody needs a best friend,
与你结识沁心脾
I’m happy I’m yours!
傻瓜都能辨分明
A fool could see decidedly.
你和我判若云泥
That you’re a ten and I’m a three.
贵人若助攀高峰
A royal breed is what you need.
但你为何对我这小无赖不离不弃
So how did you come to be stuck with a bummer like me?!
狐朋狗友绕心头
You got a head full of someone dreadful.
全意为你无二心
But how that someone adores you.
友谊长存每人心
Everybody needs a best friend,
与你结识沁心脾
I’m happy I’m yours!
我是小丑跳梁头
I’m just a clown,
横冲直撞害你糗
and I’ll bring you down
但你一笑却了之
But you don’t care ’cause
我们结识已许久
Your best friend is me!
我敢看一眼表吗
Do I dare look at the clock?
告诉你 大多数波士顿的女人
Look, all I’m saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,
比其他地方的女人更丑 气色更差
a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewhere of life.
胡扯 劳里就很性感
That’s bullshit. What about Lori? She’s hot.
不对 劳里是宾州人 不是波士顿的
No, Lori’s from Pennsylvania. That’s not a Boston girl.
波士顿女人没那么糟
They’re not that bad.
你看 你强调她们没那么糟
See, the fact that you have to say they’re not that bad
反而证明了她们确实很糟
means that they are that bad.
你听过波士顿女孩高♥潮♥的叫♥床♥声吗
Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?
对 就这样 用力 再用力
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! Harder! Harder!
天啊 爽死啦
God, that was so good!
好了 老娘干饿了 吃点饼干填肚子
Now I’m going to stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farm!
我靠 这烟真没劲儿
Jesus, this is weak.
一点都不爽
It’s not even getting me high.
我得跟供货商反映一下
I got to have a talk with my weed guy.
我觉得还行
It’s working for me.
我觉得弱爆了 我得跟他好好谈谈
I think it sucks. I’m going to have a talk with him.
没想到你居然
I don’t know that you
还打算去投诉毒贩
want to go to a drug dealer with complaints.
我们是老相识了 911那会就认识了
No. I know this guy a long time. I’ve known him since 9/11.
记得吗
You remember?
我说 我擦 911来了 我得磕点药
I was, like, “Shit, 9/11. I got to get high.”
-9点半了吗 -没错
– Is it 9:30? – Yeah.
靠 我得上班了
Shit, I got to get to work!
我都不知道还能不能开得动车
I don’t know if I can drive!
没事 我来开 我感觉挺好
It’s okay, I’ll drive you. I feel fine.
-靠 -该死
– Fuck! – Shit.
约翰尼 对不起
Johnny, I’m sorry, man.
那辆车不知道从哪蹿出来的
That car just came out of nowhere.
天啊 严重吗
God, is it bad?
约翰 过来一下好吗
John! May I speak with you, please?
麻烦了
Shit.
没事 去吧去吧 这边我来处理
It’s all right, go, go, go. I’ll pull out of here.
托马斯 你好啊
Hi, Thomas, how are you?
傻♥逼♥
Asshole!
我的错 我发推特呢
That’s my bad. I was sending a tweet.
约翰 都快10点了
John, it’s almost 10:00.
知道 老板 对不起 不是我的错
I know, sir, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my fault.
什么意思
What do you mean?
我不知道认完错还要回答问题
I guess I wasn’t really prepared for a follow-up question.
约翰 你只要别胡来就行
John, all you got to do is not fuck up
下个月我回总公♥司♥ 这位置就是你的了
and you get my job when I go to corporate next month.
你将是新的分公♥司♥经理
You’re the new branch manager.
可千万别把事情搞砸了
All you’ve got to do is not fuck up.
我懂
I realize that.
很好 我很欣慰
Good. Glad to hear it.
一个月后 你将过上我现在的日子
Because in a month, my life could be your life.
分公♥司♥经理 三万八的年薪轻松拿
A cushy, $38,000-a-year branch manager
还能和汤姆·斯克里特做朋友
who’s personal friends with Tom Skerritt.
都能奔小康了 不是吗
Not a bad life, is it?
是的
No.
给你看点我不轻易示人的东西
I’m going to show you something that I don’t like to show people
因为我不想让别人因此高看我
because I don’t want them treating me differently.
我和斯克里特的合影
That’s me and Skerritt.
要的就是这个反应
Goddamn right.
你刮了车又迟到
I’m gonna dock you for dinging the car
我要扣你工资 明白了吗
and for showing up late today, all right?
明天多带点责任感过来
Try and be a little more responsible tomorrow.
我会的 老板 我保证
I will, sir, I promise.
我不会让你失望的 蠢货
I’m not going to let you down, Goose.
什么
What?
《壮志凌云》的台词
Top Gun.
所以呢
So?
汤姆·斯克里特演的
Tom Skerritt.
我知道
I know that.
你可以出去了
Get out of here, okay?
谢谢你 老板
Thank you, sir.
这是你们的钥匙和租车协议
All right, here’s your keys, your rental agreement,
还有波士顿的免费地图
complimentary map of Boston.
感谢选择自♥由♥人租车行 一路平安
Thank you for choosing Liberty. Drive safely.
-谢谢 -非常感谢
– Thanks. – Thanks so much.
听说你被训了一通
I heard you got busted.
天啊 你面有屎色 怎么了
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
我也不知道 昨晚我喝得烂醉如泥
I don’t know, I got fucking wasted last night.
电♥话♥上显示我3点15发了条短♥信♥
My phone says I texted someone at 3:15,
叫人把我揍了一顿
asking them to beat me up.
4点30我又给同一个人发了条 谢谢
And then, at 4:30, I texted the same person saying, “Thanks.”
你没印象了吗
And you don’t remember it?
没有了 和上次一样
No, same as last time.
这做法听上去有点儿基啊
It just seems kind of gay, doesn’t it?
不知道 也许吧
I don’t know. Maybe, yeah.