泰迪熊（2012）

只要会元音就能精通所有90年代的歌♥曲
You can do any 90s song with just vowels.
A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U
没错吧 加菲猫的眼睛看起来就像一对奶♥子♥
See? There, proof. Garfield’s eyes look like a pair of tits.
还真是
You were right.
要能打穿这墙 你就是真的飞侠哥顿
If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon.
你真准备这么做
Are you going to do it?
我要打穿它
I’m going to punch through it.
来吧 萨姆 打穿它
Come on, Sam, do it! Do it!
我的老天
Oh, my God!
好样的 他做到了
Yes! He did it!
你有毛病啊
What the hell you problem?
你打穿了我的墙 老子和你拼了
You break my wall! I break you wall!
掰断他的胳膊
Break his arm off!
我们要死了 我们全都要死了
We’re going to die. We’re all going to die.
弄断它 弄断它
Break this up, break this up.
抓住他
Get him!
你打穿了我的墙 我在这住了好久了
You break my wall! This my home long time.
你打穿了我的墙 你们这帮混♥蛋♥
You break my wall, you bastard men.
真抱歉 那是个意外
We’re sorry, it was an accident, okay?
我本来要炖鸭吃的 被你们搞得到处都是灰
I try to make duck dinner, now plaster everywhere.
冷静下 咱们谈谈行吗
Chill out. Can we just talk about this?
你叫什么名字 我叫约翰
What’s your name? I’m John.
我叫王明
My name is Wan Ming.
明
Ming?
你们要赔很多钱来修墙
You pay many dollar for wall!
都是扯淡 都他妈瞎扯淡
This bullshit! This all bullshit!
致明死地
Death to Ming!
强♥奸♥呀
Rape!
萨姆 放开他
Sam, let him go.
你疯了 你疯了 伙计
You crazy! You crazy, man!
走啦 詹姆斯·弗兰克
Come on, James Franco.
你要赔钱修墙
You pay for wall!
让开 混球
Move, sucker!
有生以来最棒的一晚
Greatest night ever!
伙计
Hey, guy.
你还好吗
What’s going on?
这是贾里德 那个半夜痛揍我的家伙
This is Jared. He’s the guy who beat me up.
现在我们恋爱了
And we’re in love.
我发现自己是同性恋
Turns out I’m gay, or whatever.
管他呢
I had no idea.
贾里德 再去弄点这玩意吧
Hey, Jared, let’s go grab another one of these.
下一步怎么办 老大
How we doing, ace?
虚了吗
You coming down?
我有点不舒服
Yeah, I don’t feel so good.
过几个小时又是好汉一条 小崽子
Give it a couple of hours. You’ll be golden, Ponyboy.
要来点阿普唑仑[抗焦虑药]吗
You want a Xanax?
该死 糟糕
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
怎么了
What?
我得走了
I got to go.
劳里 我
Lori, I. . .
劳里
Lori!
劳里 等等 求你了
Lori, wait, please.
我真的很抱歉搞砸了…
Look, I’m sorry, I messed up. . .
约翰 请你今晚就搬出我的公♥寓♥
John, I need you out of the apartment tonight.
-我能…-车钥匙给我
– Can I… – Just give me the car keys.
-我能解释一下吗 -不行
– Can I please just explain? – No.
我只是…
Look, I was. . .
我为了你牺牲了大好青春
I have given up a huge chunk of my life for you.
我本来打算只待上五分钟
I was going to stop in for like five minutes
后来飞侠哥顿
and then Flash Gordon…
快把车钥匙给我
Just give me the car keys.
劳里
Lori.
劳里 求你了 我爱你
Lori, please, I love you.
约翰尼 原来你在这 我得出来透透气
Johnny, there you are. I had to get some air.
你办公室那同事正坐在沙发上
That guy from your office is in there on the couch
和那个长相狂野的机车男搞基呢
making out with that Van Wilder-looking guy.
滚一边去 别跟我说话
You know what? Fuck you. I don’t even want to talk to you.
什么
What?
你知道刚发生了什么吗
Do you know what just happened?
你什么都不知道吗 老子的人生毁了
Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
没事的 她只要回家
Come on. She’ll go home,
看看《BJ单身日记》之类的烂片
she’ll watch Bridget Jones- something-asshole.
然后抹几滴眼泪就好了
She’ll have a good cry, she’ll be fine.
明天找她谈谈就好了
You’ll talk to her tomorrow.
-咱们上楼吧 -你有听我说话吗
– Come on upstairs. – Are you even listening to me?
你有在乎过吗
Do you give any shred of a shit?
我当然在乎 约翰尼
Of course I do, Johnny.
雷霆兄弟相伴一生 还记得吗
“Thunder buddies for life,” Remember?
老天啊 劳里说的对
Jesus! You know, Lori was right.
我很久之前就不该再和你来往了
I should have stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
我就不该和你瞎混在一起
I’m never going to have a life with you around.
都35岁了还碌碌无为
I’m 35 years old and I’m going nowhere.
每天除了抽大♥麻♥
All I do is smoke pot
就是和一只该死的泰迪熊看电影
and watch movies with a teddy-fucking-bear.
因为你 我失去了我一生的挚爱
Because of that, I just lost the love of my life.
约翰尼 我…很抱歉
Johnny, I’m… I’m sorry.
我得一个人待着 不想再见到你
I gotta be on my own, Ted. I can’t see you anymore.
约翰 等等 听我说
John, wait. Listen.
我爱你
I love you!
到处都在传言你近来恢复单身了
So, word through the grapevine is that you’re newly solo.
雷克斯 我还有很多工作要忙
Rex, I have a lot of work I need to get to.
我有两张诺拉·琼斯
I have tickets to Norah Jones
今晚在舱穹演唱会的票
at the Hatch Shell tonight
如果你能和我一起去我会很高兴的
and I would love it if you would go with me.
我才和别人分手一周你就要约我出去
You’re asking me out a week after I broke up with somebody?
那我就敞开天窗说亮话
Look, I’m going to cut the shit, here.
说吧
Please.
这是自你在这工作
This is the first time that you’ve been single
这么多年以来第一次单身
in all the years you’ve worked here.
就和我约一次会
Just go out with me one time.
如果你真的感到不自在
And if you’re miserable and you hate it
我保证以后再也不涉足这方面的话题
then I promise I will never even hint at the subject again.
拜托
Please.
雷克斯 这不是个好主意
Rex, I don’t think it’s smart.
我是个混球 我知道
I’m an asshole, I know that.
自高中以来就是
It worked for me in high school,
而且从那以后世人皆知
and it’s been a reflex ever since.
劳里 对你来说最糟糕的情况
Lori, the worst that can happen
也不过是和一个
is that you go on a fun, casual date
想证明自己不是混♥蛋♥的家伙
with a guy who just wants a chance
进行了一次有趣而随性的约会而已
to prove that he can be something more than a jerk.
而且 你是一块翠玉
Plus, you are a huge catch.
是时候找个人好好珍惜你了
And it’s about time someone treated you that way.
无所谓了 好吧
Fuck it. Fine.
好吧 总比每晚含泪入眠好
Fine. It sure as hell beats crying myself to sleep every night.
而且如果这样能摆脱你的话
And if that means getting you off my back,
就当是个额外奖励吧
well, that’s just a bonus.
晚上八点我去接你
I’ll pick you up at 8:00.
约翰尼 是我
Johnny. It’s me.
滚开
Go away.
约翰尼 快开门 我有话说
Johnny, open the door, please, I want to talk.
老天 你到底想干什么
Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?
抱歉 约翰尼 我知道你很窝火
Sorry. Look, Johnny, I know you’re pissed, all right?
但一定要听我说完
But just listen to me for five seconds.
我刚看见雷克斯去公♥寓♥把劳里接走了
I saw Lori leaving the apartment with Rex.
什么
What?
真的 约翰 我本想去找她谈谈
I’m serious, John. I went over to talk to her
这样或许她能对你少生些气
and maybe take some of the heat off you.
然后他到了 把她接走了
And there he was, picking her up.
他们应该是要去舱穹
They were going to the Hatch Shell.