禁忌（2012）

and used to read the future
通过观察烹饪用的动物的内脏
in the entrails of the animals he cooked.
十月的几场初雨后 有一天
One October day after the first rains,
他私下告诉了女仆 神灵的话
he told the maids, in confidence, the words from the spirits:
说夫人怀孕了
that Madam was pregnant
还说她会痛苦地终老
and that her end would be bitter and lonely.
但其中一位女仆出♥卖♥♥♥了他
But one of the maids betrayed him
预言传到了奥罗拉耳朵里
and the prophecies reached Aurora’s ears.
出于愤怒 她解雇了他
Furious, she fired him,
声称她再也不能容忍♥
claiming that she could no longer tolerate
这种令人反感的异教行为
such repugnant and heretical rituals.
然而时间证实了第一个预言
Time, however, would prove the first prediction right.
奥罗拉怀孕了
Aurora was expecting,
期望着儿孙满堂的丈夫
and the husband, who hoped to have a large succession,
对第一个孩子感到很开心
was happy about his first child.
他为此热烈庆祝
He celebrated the event
加倍经营他们的婚姻
and doubled the matrimonial attention.
在最初的喜悦之后
After an initial euphoria,
奥罗拉越来越沉默
Aurora became more reserved
也不热衷于这个话题
and wasn’t passionate about the subject.
十一月
她丈夫认为这是初为人母的自然恐惧
Her husband thought this was due to a natural fear of maternity
加之她本来就有轻微的极端情绪
and some harmless light bipolarity
他在以前就注意到过
that he had noticed in her earlier.
一种被认为已经灭绝的野兽
A rare beast, thought to be extinct,
几周来听闻出没在山间
was heard for weeks on the hills
山里回荡着它孤独而折磨人的咆哮
from where came echoes of lonely and excruciating growls.
许多人试图追捕 但只有马里奥捕获了它
Many chased it, but Mario captured it.
他第二次挑战禁忌山令人生畏的顶峰
Challenging the scary summit of Mount Tabu for a second time,
带着笼中野兽胜利下山
he made a triumphant descent with the caged beast.
一位有权势的阿♥拉♥伯哈里发很快买♥♥下了它
A powerful Arab caliph soon bought it,
哈里发为伊♥斯♥兰♥教宗教领袖的称号♥
支付给我朋友一笔巨款中的一部分
giving my friend the first instalment of a large sum
而剩下的钱 他再也没见到
that he would never see in total.
之后社♥会♥主♥义♥终结了伊♥斯♥兰♥王权
Socialism would put an end to the caliphate.
马里奥对这场革命一无所知
Ignorant about the revolution
还以为自己能拿到巨款
and thinking he would have the money,
马里奥债台高筑
Mario built up debts
凭着突发奇想的念头肆意挥霍
and splashed out on various whims,
包括给乐队录一支单曲
including recording a single with the band.
如今那张唱片被音乐爱好者狂热追捧
Today that record is a cult object amongst music lovers
因为它稀有并且简单
for its rarity and simplicity.
十二月
临近圣诞节 鳄鱼再一次逃走了
Around Christmas, the crocodile escaped again
奥罗拉立刻就知道要去哪里找
and Aurora immediately knew where to find it.
后来我们发现鳄鱼藏在碗橱下面
We later found the crocodile hidden under a cupboard.
从那改变命运的一天起
Since that fateful day,
奥罗拉秘密地给鳄鱼取了个浪漫的名字
Aurora secretly gave the animal a romantic name:
丹迪[花♥花♥公♥子♥]
Dandy.
奥罗拉打偏了的消息引起不小骚动
The news that Aurora had missed a shot caused quite a stir.
自她幼时起 她就弹无虚发
Her shotgun had not fired a stray bullet since her early youth.
一月
人们觉得这和怀孕有关
It was thought that the pregnancy was linked to the incident
母性的力量温和了她的男子气
and that maternity had the power to sweeten her virile nature.
这是奥罗拉最后一次狩猎
It would be Aurora’s last hunt.
同时 有关叛乱和屠♥杀♥的谣言此起彼伏
Meanwhile there were rumours of revolts and massacres
是殖民地其他地方的黑人所为
perpetrated by black people elsewhere in the colony.
在我们一片宁静的社区里
Amidst the quietness of our community,
这消息听起来太夸张 甚至不真实
the news sounded exaggerated, even unreal.
消息被一位军官证实
Confirmation arrived through a military officer
他召开了政♥府♥信息通报会
carrying out government information sessions.
白人们群情激奋 组织起自卫队
White folk became excited and organised militias,
夜间巡逻队 并进行射击训练
night patrols and did shooting exercises
训练时还可以享用茶点
accompanied by tea and biscuits.
我对国家的命运毫不关心
Indifferent to the fate of the Empire,
只是把训练看成又一个接近她的机会
I saw it as another opportunity to be near her,
虽然她丈夫的出现
even if her husband’s presence
让我有了新的焦虑 并且与日俱增
caused me a new and growing anxiety.
二月
我怀疑是否有人真的懂得
I wonder, can anyone really understand
欲望转变成爱情的那一刻
the moment one goes from desire to love?
我之前说过
I believe I have already said,
我过去没少享受鱼水之欢
my past was hardly deprived of pleasures,
尤其是和女人打交道的时候
especially when it came to socialising with the ladies.
虽然我总是激♥情♥似火
Despite my fiery passions,
在女人之间游走却从未困扰过我
going from one woman to another had never bothered me,
因为她们看起来都极为美丽
because they all seemed extremely beautiful.
奥罗拉不可逆转地颠覆了我的本性
Aurora overturned my nature irreversibly.
不知何时 也不知何故
I’m not sure when or for what obscure reason.
不能忽视事实的是
I couldn’t ignore the fact
奥罗拉怀着另一个男人的孩子
that Aurora was carrying the child of another man,
而这男人是她丈夫
her lawful husband,
所以做她的情人
and that being her lover
是极其愚蠢的行为
meant committing a colossal foolishness
让我在有生之年都追悔莫及
that I could only live to regret.
但在她怀里
But in her arms,
未来似乎是一个模糊而可笑的概念
the future seemed a vague and stupid concept.
我们在其他人玩着战争游戏时秘密约会
We met in secret while the others played their wars.
被撞到的风险很大
The risk of being caught was high
但隐藏私情对我来说也不是新鲜事了
but schemes to hide illicit affairs were nothing new for me.
不同的是 这一次
The original thing here was of a different nature:
奥罗拉是真真切切地占据着我的心
Aurora grew in me as an absolute reality.
三月
我日益增长的不安
My growing discomfort
在泳池别♥墅♥的聚会上达到顶点
reached its climax at a party in the pool house.
也许是这地方的悲哀气氛
Maybe the lugubrious aura of this place
加重了我的焦虑
reinforced my restlessness.
那聚会之所以有名气
The parties there owed their reputation
是因为那里住着奇怪的一家
to the strange family that lived there.
妻子跑了
The lady had run away,
丢下儿子和丈夫相依为命
leaving the son and husband in charge of each other.
儿子天生神经脆弱
The son had been born with feeble nerves,
他在马赛住了很长时间
and later returned even more perturbed
回来后更加烦躁不安
after a long stay in Marseille,
在马赛 他和黑社会有所来往
where he’d got involved with the underworld
专门从事法式拳击
and had specialised in French boxing.
恐慌时 他就会逃离现实
In situations of panic, he would take flight into another reality
像唐吉诃德那样 和假想的敌人对战
and, just like Don Quixote, he’d fight invisible enemies.
他父亲文雅和蔼的外表下
The father hid a feral despair
隐藏着阴郁的绝望
under a polished cloak of amiability.
新年夜 一瓶威士忌过后
On New Year’s Eve, after a bottle of whiskey,
他会关上起居室的门 将一枚子弹上膛
he’d close the living room door, load a bullet into a gun,
举枪指着太阳穴挑战生命
raise it to his temple and challenge life.
后来他为此丧命
He later died as a consequence of this.
他的聚会经常是以鸣枪致意结束
His parties often ended with a gun salute
客人们都是被吓跑的
which scared the guests away.
由于这段禁忌的恋情
Due to my forbidden love,
最近几周我和马里奥渐渐疏远了
I had grown apart from Mario in the last few weeks.
我不知道他会对我的秘密作何反应
I couldn’t tell how he’d react to my secret.
马里奥祈求了上帝
Mario invoked God.
他相信上帝的保佑会帮助我
He believed divine providence had come to my aid.
他给我看了一封信
He showed me a letter
一位英国殖民地的著名歌♥手写来的
from a famous singer from a British colony
他很喜欢我们的乐队
who liked the band.
邀请我们去首都的一家酒店
It was an invitation to perform at a hotel in the capital
演出几个月
for a few months.
两天之后 我乘飞机离开了那里
Two days later, I flew out there.
四月
我亲爱的小姐
“My dear lady.
过去几周里 我们度过的
The sweet and ill-fated moments
甜蜜而又不幸的时光
we have lived in the last few weeks
使我对自己的未来感到恐惧
make me fear for my future,
更为你的未来恐惧
and above all, for yours.
在你身边时感受到的深刻情感
The profound emotion I feel when I’m next to you