瑞士军刀男

你真是哪壶不开提哪壶
Oh, you’re the worst.
你期待回家见到大家吗
Are you excited to see everyone when you get home?
大概吧
I guess.
你会看见你的爸爸
You’ll be able to see your dad.
他也许在想你跑到哪里去了
He’s probably been wondering where you are.
我们的关系不那么亲密
Well, we haven’t really kept up.
我们试过
I mean, we tried the whole
在彼此的生日问候对方
calling each other on our birthdays thing,
但最后还是不了了之了
but, you know, that eventually went away.
为什么 发生了什么
Why? What happened?
几年前 他忘了打电♥话♥
Well, a few years back, he forgot to call.
他不知道怎么道歉
He didn’t really know how to say sorry,
但我看得出他感觉很内疚
but I could tell he felt bad,
所以我教他怎么做电子生日贺卡
so I taught him how to set up an automated birthday e-card.
就像是能在手♥机♥上收到的信件
That’s like a letter you get on your phone.
它会每年自动在我生日那天送贺卡
It automatically sends me a birthday card every year,
这样他就不会忘了
so that way, he’ll never forget.
我也经常忘记他的生日
I mean, I always forgot his as well,
所以我也弄了一个
so I set one up, too.
我在想我和我爸是不是也这样干过
I wonder if my dad and I did that, too.
我希望我曾每天自动给他发过卡片
I hope I sent him an automated card every day.
没什么大不了的
It’s nothing special.
如果我死在了这儿
If I died out here,
某个网站每年都会给他发送生日贺卡
some website would send him a birthday card every year
直到永远
for the rest of his life.
他也许都不会知道我已经死了
He probably wouldn’t even know I was gone.
不会的 他关心你
Well, that’s not true. He cares about you.
是啊
Yeah.
是 他是我爸
Yeah, he’s my dad.
但他不太…
But he just doesn’t…
我是说 他应该多表现出来
I mean, he ought to show it sometimes.
为什么他不愿意表现出来呢
Why wouldn’t he want to show that?
我们都不善言辞
Neither of us were good at talking.
有时对人们来说 表达感受很困难
Sometimes it’s hard for people to show how they feel.
真是弱智
That’s retarded.
-曼尼 别用那个词 -等我回家了
– Manny, don’t use that word. – When I get back home,
我要告诉莎拉我每天有多么想念她
I’m gonna show Sarah how much I care about her every single day.
不管什么时候
Whenever she wants,
只要她感到渴了 就可以喝我的口水
she’s thirsty or whatever, she can drink my spit,
她可以骑着我的屁去任何地方
and then she can ride my gas to wherever she wants to go.
你不能在别人面前用你的屁
You can’t use your gas in front of other people.
什么 为什么不行
What? Why not?
因为这很古怪
Because it’s weird.
人都不喜欢其他人的屁
People don’t like other people’s farts.
所以你才从来不在我面前放屁吗
Is that why you don’t fart in front of me?
不 我只是
No. I just…
喜欢偷偷放或是憋着
like to do it alone or hold it in.
就该这样才对
That’s what you’re supposed to do.
真是悲哀
That’s so sad.
太悲哀了
That’s so sad!
那我们还回家个什么劲儿
What are we even going back home for?
听上去在家乡 我们什么也不许干
It sounds like you’re not allowed to do anything back there.
是啊
Yeah.
也许我们应该留在这里
Maybe we should just stay out here.
永远不回家吗
And never go home?
这里会成为我们的家
This’ll be our home.
我们可以自己立规矩 肆意放飞自我
We could make our own rules and do whatever we want to.
我们可以组一支乐队
Ah, we could start a band.
还可以在树上建一所房♥子
And we could build a house in the trees.
是啊 配上一套家庭影院系统
Yeah, with a home movie theater system.
还有录音室
And a recording studio.
没错 我们想唱得多大声都可以
Yeah, we could sing songs as loud as we want.
-真好 就你和我 -是啊
– Yeah, you and me. – Yeah.
我要去尿尿
I have to pee.
*我坐在这块石头上*
*I’m sitting on this rock,*
*路边这舒适的大石头*
*side-road comfy rock.*
*嘿 一切顺其自然*
*Hey, it’s gonna be.*
*这里真美好*
*It is so nice here.*
爸爸
*宁静而黑暗*
*Nice and dark in gloom.*
*嘿 一切顺其自然*
*Hey, it’s gonna be.*
曼尼 我想给你看点超棒的东西
Manny, I have something amazing to show you,
但我要先告诉你一件事
but I need to tell you something first.
汉克 我也要告诉你一件事
Hank, I have something to say to you, too.
不 让我先说
No, I need to go first.
听着 我本来想利用你帮我回家
Look… I needed you to help me get home,
然后事情接踵发生
and then one thing led to another,
不知不觉我们成了朋友
and then suddenly I had a friend,
我就不敢告诉你真♥相♥了
and I was too scared to tell you the truth,
但这是我的手♥机♥ 曼尼 不是你的
but this is my phone, Manny, not yours.
莎拉她…
And Sarah…
是我每天坐公车都会遇见的一个女孩
is a girl I saw on the bus every day,
但我一直没勇气跟她说话
but I never had the courage to even talk to her.
我觉得像她这么优秀的女孩
I didn’t think someone like her
是不会愿意跟我在一起的
would ever wanna be with me.
我都不愿意跟自己在一起
I didn’t even wanna be with me.
最终
Eventually…
什么
What?
没错 那就是我想跟你说的事 汉克
Yeah, that’s what I wanted to tell you, Hank.
有一只大浣熊 在吃我们的食物
There’s a giant raccoon, and it’s eating our food.
你刚刚说莎拉什么事来着
What were you saying about Sarah?
莎拉
Sarah.
曼尼
Manny.
曼尼 曼尼
Manny. Manny!
躺下
Down.
莎拉怎么会跟那个家伙在一起
What was Sarah doing with that guy?
那才是她真实的生活 我们能晚点再聊这个吗
That’s her real life. Can we talk about it later?!
她根本不是我的女朋友吗
She was never even mine?
你为什么不早告诉我
Why didn’t you tell me?
我想说出来的
I wanted to.
但我觉得太丢脸了
I was too embarrassed.
丢脸
Embarrassed?
你让我以为我爱上了某个人
You made me think I was in love with someone
其实对方根本不知道我的存在
who never even knew I existed,
我不过是一个孤独 失败的怪胎吗
but I’m just a lonely, loser weirdo, really?
我们不再需要她了
We don’t need her anymore!
我们拥有彼此了
We got each other!
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Shit, shit, shit.
看呐
Look.
看过来 快救救我们
Look over here! Please help us!
这是怎么回事
What is this?
那些是车子 曼尼 如果我们能下去…
Those are cars, Manny. If we can get down…
我他妈知道那些是车子 我是在说人生
I know those are fucking cars. I’m talking about life.
人生到底是什么
What is life?
曼尼
Manny…
我脑中闪过的画面是什么
what is that flashing in my head? It…
你在哭吗
Are you crying?
我不知道 这就是哭吗
I don’t know. Is this crying?
我不喜欢这种感觉
I don’t like it.
湿湿的 很不舒服
It’s wet and uncomfortable,
天呐 我为什么在发抖
and, oh, God, why am I shaking now?
深呼吸 这很正常
Just breathe. This is normal.
试着想一些开心的事
Just try to think about happy thoughts.
我在…
I’m…
曼尼 无论你在做什么 拜托停下来
Manny, whatever you are doing, please stop.
我…我只是在想事情
I’m…I’m just thinking.
-别再想了 -我控制不了
– Well, stop thinking. – I can’t help it.
这是一个回想 这也是一个回想
This is a thought, and this is a thought,
这也是一个回想
and this is a thought,
回想 回想 回想
thought, thought, thought.
这些全都是回想