Right, so you had a responsibility to satiate their nerves and anxiety.
你成了他们的医师
You became their therapist.
是的 完全正确
That’s right. That’s exactly right.
所以他们没有任何
So they had nothing in terms of, uh…
信仰？
[Jonah] Faith?
对 他们找不到理由去拥抱任何信仰
Yeah, in terms of that would support them in having any faith.
只有一样东西能带他们走向信仰
They only had one thing that could lead to faith,
那就是我
and that was me.
你能看到 这些问题是如何被遗传下去的
You see how these things get passed down.
我已经尽力了
And I…I tried my best.
显然彻底失败了
Total failure, obviously. [chuckles]
但我确实做到了一件事
I…I…I guess I did do one thing.
我成为了一名医生
I became a doctor.
所以…
So, um…
也许不完全是徒劳无益的
So at least maybe something constructive came out of it.
开始接诊对我来说简直像个笑话
Beginning to see patients was like a joke for me.
不就是换了个场地而已 我一直以来都在这么做
It was just a change of venue. I had done it so much.
而且做得还不错 即使在我只有12岁的时候
And I wasn’t bad at it, even when I was 12.
[Jonah] Hmm.
嗯
[Stutz] Yeah.
我们是要继续这样每周做几次治疗 但由我来当病人吗？
Hey, are we gonna continue these sessions a few times a week
where I’m the patient? [chuckles]
要是你肯多回答些这样的问题就好了
[laughs]
It’d be nice if you answered more of these questions.
要是你肯回答其中一个就够了
In fact, it would be nice if you answered even one of them.
我们谈了我弟弟 我们能谈谈你哥哥吗？
Um…
We talked about my brother. Can we talk about yours?
那肯定在你心中激起了些什么
It must have stirred up something in you.
嗯…
[Jonah] Well…
Hmm.
不 我们不谈这个
No, I– No, we’re not gonna get into that, um…
好吧
[Stutz] Okay.
我觉得我应该休息一下 现在几点了？哇靠
I think I should take a break. What time– Oh, shit. Huh.
好吧
[Jonah] Yeah.
好
Yeah.
这真是很棒的对话
Dude, that was amazing.
我脑力都透♥支♥了
I feel fried.
我都让你问些简单点的问题了 这是你自找的
Yeah, you know, I told you to ask easier questions. It’s on you.
我针对你的导演功力和演技做的笔记 你要不要？
[Jonah laughs]
Do you want my notes on your directing or acting?
留着我治疗的时候用
[Jonah laughs] Save it for my session.
[piano music plays]
（星期四 7点 11点 3点 7点 10点）
（银行 科布伦）
（治疗 帕金森病）
（设置UCLA账号♥）
（邪恶揭示自身）
（第X部分和阴影面的区别）
（仇恨和误解）
[piano music continues]
[exhales deeply]
搞什么搞那么久啊？
[laughs] What is taking so long, dude?
[door opens]
[door closes]
小心电线
Watch the tracks.
你也在这啊？
[Stutz] You’re in this too?
-是啊 -靠
-[clattering] -[Jonah] Yeah. Oh, shit. [chuckles]
[Stutz chuckles]
-你还好吗？ -很高兴见到你
-How are you? -[Jonah] Good to see ya.
我想先用一下工具 可以吗？
I’m gonna use a tool first. Is that okay?
当然可以
Yeah, absolutely.
[Jonah inhales, exhales]
[Jonah exhales]
好
Okay. [inhales]
[Jonah exhales deeply]
因为许多原因 我觉得制♥作♥这部电影非常复杂
I feel like making this movie is very complicated for a lot of reasons.
你是我的医师 每当遇到纠结的事情时
You’re my therapist,
and if I was having trouble with something,
我都会找你谈
you’d be who I would talk to about it.
但当这部电影让我有这种感觉时
[Stutz] Mm-hmm.
[Jonah] But then when that feeling comes up about this movie,
我很犹豫 我把它抑制住
I’m hesitant, and I stop it,
因为这部电影是关于你的
because this film is about you,
我觉得我必须假装一切都很好
and I feel like I have to pretend everything is great
即使事实并非如此
even when it’s not.
我…
I’ve…
在我们的私下治疗中 我一直在对你撒谎
been lying to you in our private therapy sessions
骗你电影进展得很顺利
about how the movie’s going.
所以我基本上
So I’ve essentially
一直在付钱给你来对你撒谎
been paying you to lie to you,
而这让我感到越来越孤独
and that left me feeling more and more alone.
我想实现这些宏大的想法
[Stutz] Hmm.
I’m trying to land these massive ideas.
-是 -同时也想讲述你的人生故事
-[Stutz] Right. -And these–
And also tell the story of your life, but I just feel stuck.
但我觉得自己遇到了瓶颈
我不停地问自己
And I just keep asking myself, like,
一个病人拍一部关于他的医师的电影
“Was this a fucking terrible idea
是不是一个糟糕透顶的主意？
for a patient to make a movie about his therapist?” [laughs]
连我自己都觉得好笑
Like I laugh about it, you know?
但我最终想到的是 我为什么要
But what I got to was like, why am I, like, hiding
躲在完美的背后？
behind perfection?
我为什么要躲在假象背后 而不是向你坦白？
Why am I hiding behind a facade instead of letting you in on it?
那感觉是我唯一的选择
Which felt like the only choice to me.
确实是
It is.
我怎么能拍一部 讲述人们展示脆弱和克服问题的电影
How can I make a movie where I’m talking about people
being vulnerable and working on their problems
却不肯展示自己脆弱的一面？
and not be vulnerable myself?
这感觉不公平
It doesn’t feel fair.
所以如果要选择公平和诚实
-And so… -Hmm.
鈥f the choice is to be fair and honest,
那么我应该承认
then I should acknowledge that, like,
这部电影已经拍了两年
we’ve been shooting for two years,
我们每天都穿着同样的衣服
and we’re wearing the same clothes every day,
假装这是一次对话
pretending it’s one session,
但其实已经好几年了
but it’s been years.
我们在绿幕上 我们不在你的办公室里
And we’re on a green screen.
We’re not in your office.
而且我现在戴着假发
And I’m literally wearing a wig right now
好让自己看起来像八个月前的自己
to make it look like it was eight months ago when I had this haircut,
实际上我
and I literally have, like,
理了个平头 我…
a shaved head.
我不知道
I, like…
I don’t know.
就是感觉很奇怪 很虚假
It just feels…weird and false.
我想让观众 了解电影制♥作♥的过程 了解你
I want to let the audience in on the filmmaking process, and you,
这样他们才不会觉得 我们只是在编故事
so they don’t feel like we’re just lying to them about shit.
可我却骗你 骗大家说一切进展顺利 真是糟透了
And I’m lying to you and lying to everyone else that it’s going well,
观众看到的这一幕
and that sucks.
We’re probably gonna be watching this scene,
有我们8个月前、14个月前拍的东西
and there’s gonna be stuff we shot eight months ago, 14 months ago.
到现在这个地步 已经分不清什么是什么了
Like…[scoffs]
It’s just hard to know what is what at this point.
但最终我选择了真♥相♥ 也就是向你坦白
But ultimately, I just came to the truth, which is just letting you in on it.
是不是很操蛋？
Does that feel fucked-up?
说实话 这感觉是你唯一的选择
It feels like the only choice you have, to be honest.
如果你想忠实于我 以及我们想传达的信息
If you want to stay with the truth of me and what we’re trying to do,
那么你必须让自己搞砸
then you have to let yourself fuck it up.
如果你能做到完美
If you could do it perfectly,
那等于是与我们正在做的一切相抵触
it would contradict everything that we’re doing here.
所以我很高兴你…
So I’m thrilled that you–
其实我也大致猜到了 毕竟我们…
I kind of suspected this anyway, because we’re getting–
毕竟我们拍了这么多天嘛 所以我说
First of all, we’re getting so many days, you know, so I said–
这要么是史上最棒的纪录片 要么是最糟的纪录片
[both laugh]
I said, “This is probably the greatest documentary ever made
大概两者都是吧
or the worst,” and it’s probably both.
[laughs]
但听着 你终究得赤♥裸♥地面对
But listen, it has to eventually get intimate,
一旦赤♥裸♥地面对 你不知道会发生些什么
and once things get intimate,
you don’t know what the fuck is gonna happen.
如果说我教导得当 那你会明白你不应该逃避它
If I’ve trained you properly,
you can just see that is not something to avoid.
不配合着来 不利用它来更深入地去探索
The failure would be not rolling with it and not using it to go deeper.
那才算失败
对我来说 这整部电影的驱动力是你的脆弱性
The driving force in this whole thing, to me, is your vulnerability.
这一点毫无疑问
[splutters] No question about it.
如果我们忠实于这个想法 而你也愿意接受
If we’re true to that idea and you’re forthcoming with it,
那我们肯定错不了 因为…
we really can’t go wrong, because–
但这部电影是关于你的
-But this movie is about you. -[Stutz] No, no, not at all.
不 不是的