things you’re grateful for.
这东西越小越好
The smaller the thing, the better,
因为它迫使你集中感恩之情
because it forces you to concentrate gratefulness.
慢慢来 好好去感受那股感恩之情
You wanna do it nice and slow. You want to feel the gratefulness.
我感恩有我的侄子们
I’m grateful for my nephews.
我感恩有冲浪
I’m grateful for surfing.
我感恩…
I’m grateful…
有我的狗
for my dog.
我感恩有你
I’m grateful for you.
好 继续罗列 但不要大声说出来
[Stutz] Okay, now, keep naming things, but don’t say them out loud.
继续创造源源不断的感恩之情
Just keep creating that stream of gratefulness.
很好
Good.
接下来你要感觉自己 即将产生另一个感恩的念头
The next thing you do is you feel
that you’re going to create another grateful thought, but you don’t.
但你把这个念头打住
You block it. So all you feel is the force that would create a grateful thought,
所以你所感觉到的 只是这股产生感恩念头的力量
随着它变得越来越强大 你感觉自己被它征服
and as it gets stronger and stronger, you feel taken over by it.
[upbeat music continues]
这就是感恩之流
That’s the Grateful Flow. That was excellent. Did you feel anything?
做得很棒 有什么感觉吗？
我觉得一切都
I felt everything kind of just…slow down.
慢了下来
And I felt a warmth.
我感觉到一股温暖
一种安逸感
-[Stutz] Mm-hmm. -Like in a sense of comfort.
不错
[Stutz] That’s pretty good.
关键是不要重复着说同样的东西
The key is not saying the same things over and over that you’re grateful for.
它必须是个具有创造性的行为
You wanna make it a creative act.
当你不得不去 挖掘和努力寻找这些东西时
When you have to dig and work on it to find these things,
那个过程本身就会改变你的心情
that process itself will change your mood.
最经典的用法 就是在你思绪失去控制的时候
The classic time to use it is when your thoughts are out of control.
你最不该做的就是与它们争论
The worst thing to do is argue with them.
那只会给你带来恶劣的影响
‘Cause its effect on you is terrible, and it does nothing for you.
而且对你没有任何帮助
但感恩不仅仅是 “我很庆幸有人帮了我”
But gratefulness is not just, “I’m lucky somebody helped me,” or whatever.
感恩是你想尽可能经常处于的状态
Gratefulness is the state you want to be in
as often as you possibly can be in it, because it’s the state that connects you…
因为这种状态能带你突破云层
It’s the state that breaks through the cloud.
一旦突破了 你就进入了一个不同的世界
And once you’re up there, you’re in a different world.
第X部分所做的是说 “你不应该感恩 你被搞惨了
What Part X does is to say you shouldn’t be grateful.
It says, “You got screwed.”
你是受害者 你得到的不够多
“You’re a victim. You didn’t get enough.”
你为什么要为你所拥有的而感恩？”
“Why should you be grateful for what you have?”
那是魔鬼在说话 那就是典型的第X部分
That’s the devil talking. That’s classic Part X.
[upbeat music ends]
我很少和你谈起你的帕金森病
I don’t talk to you about your Parkinson’s a ton.
我不知道其中有哪一部分是因为
And I wonder what part of it is my fear of just not wanting to acknowledge
我不想承认自己对这件事的恐惧
my own fears around that stuff.
嗯 我会给你的建议是
Yeah. I mean, my advice to you is assume that you’re probably underestimating me,
假设你自己低估了我
因为我每天都在继续做调整
um, because I continue every day to make adjustments,
而且很多调整都非常有帮助
and a lot of them are very helpful.
不知道啦 我是搞笑派的嘛
I don’t know. I’m funny, you know?
这不是我经常会去想的事
That’s not the kind of thing that I think about a lot.
我会去想未来
I think about the future,
但我最大的恐惧是 没能在我死前做完我要做的事
but mostly, my biggest fear is not getting enough done before I die.
因为我有好多事要做 我们在这里谈到的东西
-Hmm. -‘Cause I got so much–
The stuff we talked about here is maybe, I don’t know, 10% of it.
可能只是其中的10%
只是一小部分 对
A sliver, yeah.
我觉得死亡本身对每个人来说
Yeah, I think death in itself is a really…
都是个复杂的话题
[exhales] It’s a complex subject for everybody.
对我来说
For me, I am…
我特别害怕失去你
very scared to lose you particularly.
并不是说我一直都在想这件事
Not that that’s on my mind all the time,
但你是我去寻求人生建议的人
but, like, you are the person I go to for life advice
你带给我安慰 让我知道人生总会有出路
and for a sense of comfort that there is ways through things.
同时
And at the same time,
我唯一一次经历沉痛的死别时
you…the only time I’ve had massive experience with death,
也是你帮我渡过了难关
you were the person that got me through that as well.
你是说你哥哥？
-You’re talking about your brother? -Yeah. Yeah.
对
And when he passed away unexpectedly
几年前他意外去世
a few years ago,
在我拍这部电影之前 我并不知道你弟弟已经去世了
and before I made this movie, I didn’t know
that you had lost your brother.
你讲了那个故事 说你那天在哪里
You told a story about where you were that day.
-对 -你那天所站的位置
-Oh yeah. -You knew the spot where you were.
你那天去了学校等等
You went to school that day and all those things and…
我一直在逃避 不愿去想那一天
I spend a lot of my life avoiding thinking about that day,
那天早上我去了你的办公室
and I went to your office that morning.
那绝对是我一生中最难熬的一天
It was definitely the most intense day in my life.
绝对是我这辈子最崩溃的一刻
It’s definitely, like, the most shook-up I’ve ever been.
我记得的一件事是 那天你跟我要了手♥机♥
One of the things I remember was, that day, you said, “Give me your phone,”
然后给我拍了一张照片
and you took a picture of me.
我想知道你为什么这么做
And I, like, wondered why you did that?
能有机会把人生中最重要的时刻 记录下来
It is very rare in life that you get a chance to record something
这是非常难得的
at the climactic, you know, most important moment.
之后再回过头来看它
And then you come back to it.
不管是一星期后还是一年后 都无所谓
Whether it’s in a week or a year, it doesn’t matter.
中间隔上一段时间
You…you have, um, a…There’s a time gap.
在这段时间里
And in that time gap,
你能真正体验到疗愈的力量
you actually experience the forces of healing, of recovery.
我已经四年没看过这张照片了
Yeah, I…I haven’t looked at this picture
in four years.
但我把它打印了出来 因为我想给你看 自己也看一下
Mm-hmm.
But I, like, printed it out,
because I wanted to show you and look at it.
[Stutz inhales]
-你已经四年没看过了？ -对
You haven’t looked at it for four years?
[Jonah] No.
从好的方面来说
In a good way…
我看起来像被剥去了虚假的一切
it’s like it’s…I look stripped of everything fake.
-我的神情异常宁静 -对
[Stutz] Mm-hmm.
And there is an oddly serene look on my face.
真的好怪
-[Stutz] There is. -Which is, like, so bizarre.
但也许是因为它摧毁了
But maybe because it, like, demolished…
一切不重要的东西
everything that didn’t matter.
它摧毁了你以为自己需要 但其实并不需要的一切
[Stutz] It demolished everything you thought you needed but you don’t need.
照片里的那个人走了一趟地狱
That’s the picture of somebody who’s gone through hell
并且回来了 而且也好好的
and came out the other side
过程平淡无奇 但我很喜欢
and is really okay,
in a very nondramatic way, which I like.
尽管可能看起来不像 这就是胜利的样子
That’s a picture of victory, even though it might not look like it.
[piano music plays]
（丧失处理）
丧失处理 是帮助你处理丧失的工具 对吧？
Loss Processing is a tool that allows you to process loss, right?
大多数人在这方面都做得不好
And most people are very bad at it.
他们不仅在经历丧失时处理得不好 因而感到抑郁或失落
Not only are they bad when there’s a loss and they get depressed or bereft,
而且在丧失还未发生前 就一直担心它会发生
but before there’s a loss, they’re just worrying about a loss.
我们的目标是要获得 所谓的不执着的效力
The goal of this is to get what’s called the potency of nonattachment.
这意味着我能去追求一样东西 但我愿意不拥有它
That means I can pursue something, but I’m willing not to have it.
我还是想追求它 我想非常努力地追求它
I still wanna pursue it. I want to pursue it really hard.
但我也愿意失去它
But I’m also willing to lose.
首先我要你挑出一样 你觉得自己过于依恋的东西
The first thing I want you to do is pick out something
that you feel you’ve become too attached to.
可以是一个人 一份工作 一个小东西 都无所谓
It could be a person, a job, something small. It doesn’t matter.
总之是一个你不愿意放手的东西
But something where you’re loath to let go of it.
你害怕如果你放开它 可怕的事情就会发生
You’re afraid, if you let go of it, something terrible’s gonna happen.
想到了吗？
-You have it? -Mm-hmm.
好
[Stutz] Okay.
现在想象你在抓住这个东西
Now imagine you’re grasping this thing.
如果它不是物质的东西也无所谓
And if it’s not a material thing, it doesn’t matter.
只要想象你在抓住它
Just imagine you’re grasping it,
就像抓住树上的树枝一样
like you’re grasping onto a branch on a tree.
很可怕 你不敢放手
It’s scary. You’re afraid to let go.
但你还是放手了
But you let go anyway.
当你放手时 你开始往下掉
And when you let go, you start to fall.
但那并不是一种不好的感觉
It’s not a bad sensation though.
反而是出乎意料地缓慢而温柔
The falling is actually kind of slow and gentle, to your surprise,
你在往下掉
but you’re dropping down.
你说“我愿意失去一切”
And you say, “I’m willing to lose everything.”
你必须默默地说
And you have to say it silently,
你要真正感受到其背后的意图
but you want to really feel the, uh, intent behind that.