被骂残废后
called spastic,
学会了使用暴♥力♥ 知道人们对它的恐惧
you learn that violence, and fear of violence,
知道这种疯狂会吓退别人
and madness, it scares people.
我原来会故意激怒自己
I used to deliberately get myself in a rage.
6个月后 我发现无法控制我的情绪了
And after six months, I found I couldn’t stop them.
愤怒的感觉不再受我控制
I wasn’t making the madness up no more.
你知道吗 亚历山大
You know what, Alexander?
我也不懂我自己
I don’t know myself.
我的疯狂
Madness.
有时候我觉得我是撒旦之子
Sometimes I think I’m the child of the devil.
我把魔鬼放进来
I let the devil in.
现在没法赶他出去了
Now I can’t get him out.
我试过…
I tried…
用火烧 用刀割
burning him out, and cutting him out, and…
他根本都不在意
he don’t take no notice.
他又为什么会注意呢
Why should he?
魔鬼也不想无家可归啊
He don’t wanna be homeless.
还剩最后一个问题
You know, there’s still one question left.
什么问题 -你猜
What’s that, mate? – Guess.
我们用倒叙的方式写书
We’re writing the book backwards,
那我们最后需要些什么
so what’s the last bit of information we need?
你的生日是哪天
What’s your date of birth?
我叫斯图尔特·克莱夫·史都华
I am Stuart Clive Shorter.
我出生于
I was born
1968年9月19日
on the 19th of the 9th, 1968.
所以 你今年…
So, you’re…
今年33岁 -我33岁 我老了
You’re 33. – I am 33. I’m getting older, as they say.
我过着极具争议的
And I have led a very controversial
不愉快的生活
and unpleasant life.
我这伴郎怎么样
Eh? Best man or what, eh?
场面肯定很宏大
It is gonna be grand.
FM95.7兆赫 AM1026兆赫
95.7 FM. And 1026 AM.
BBC剑桥广播
BBC Radio Cambridgeshire.
在隧♥道♥靠近法国那端
…near the French entrance to the channel tunnel.
警方已经正式确认了
Police have now formally indentified
今早在剑桥附近火车事故中
the man who died after being hit by a train
死亡男子的身份
near Cambridge early this morning.
斯图尔特·史都华 33岁 来自沃特比奇
He was Stuart Shorter, a 33-year-old from Waterbeach.
警方已通知验尸官
The coroner has been informed and
尸检将择日进行
an inquest will take place at a date to be fixed.
朱迪丝吗 我是亚历山大
Judith? It’s Alexander.
赞颂主耶稣基♥督♥的神与父
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
是自杀吗
Was it suicide?
我不清楚 他没有留遗言
I don’t know. He didn’t leave a note.
但自杀的人通常也不会留遗言
But then, suicides often don’t.
我唯一知道的就是他站在了
All I do know is that he stepped
11点15剑桥开往斯林恩的铁轨上
in front of the 11:15 Cambridge to Kings Lynn.
主说 我已征服了全世界
… have overcome the world, says the Lord.
斯图尔特的尘世生活已然结束
Since the Earthly life of Stuart has come to an end,
我们在此安葬他的遗体
we commit his body to be buried.
尘归尘 土归土
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
让往生者安宁 让在世者重获解脱
In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life.
以我主耶稣基♥督♥之名 阿门 -阿门
To our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. – Amen.
你好亚历山大 我是斯图尔特
Hello, Alexander. It’s Stuart.
你好 斯图尔特
Hello, Stuart.
我是喝了很多酒 但是…
You know, admitting I’ve had lots to drink and that,
我还是一直在想我哥哥做的事
but I can’t help reflect about my brother
还有他那些朋友
and my brother’s friend.
我家人都不相信我
And they didn’t believe me.
他们根本不管
And they didn’t care.
对我的虐待
The abuse.
让我去做那些
Being asked to do things that
我想任何11岁的孩子
I wouldn’t have thought possible that anyone
都不可能去做的事
could ask of an 11-year-old.
我就一直抗拒啊 抗拒
I’m just head-butting, and head-butting,
抗拒 再抗拒
and head-butting, and head-butting.
你说的越多 他们越是不相信你
The more that you speak, the more they disbelieve.
没有任何人相信我说的
And nobody was listening to anything I had to say.
我喝醉以后
When I’ve got my drink inside me
就坐在这
I sit here
和我自己说疯话
having mad conversations with myself.
说着要怎么自虐
Talking about mutilating myself,
要自杀
killing myself,
找那些该负责的人来报仇
tracking down those who are responsible.
我真想就此躺下 一死了之
I want to just lay down and die.
我觉得自己很肮脏 太糟糕了
I feel so dirty, and fucking horrible
憎恨还攻击那些我身边的人
and hating and attacking anyone I get close to.
我只是想
I just wish
哪怕只一次
once
能不再暴躁 能获得解脱
there could be an escape from this madness.
这本书最终于2005年4月出版
The book was finally published in April 2005.
如果斯图尔特看到的话 他一定会喜欢
I think Stuart would have liked it.
你的苦痛
There’s nothing I could say
我无言以对
To make you try to feel okay
我的内疚
And nothing you could do
你也束手无策
To stop me feeling the way I do
若是冥冥之中
And if the chance should happen
你我无缘再会
That I never see you again
请你记得 你将常在我心
Just remember that I’ll always love you.
在现实的另一边
I’d be a better person on
我会洗心革面
the other side I’m sure.
在绝望的下一站
You’d find a way to help yourself,
路会柳暗花明
And find another door.
路途坎坷 卸去包裹
To shrug off minor incidents,
昂首启程
And make us both feel proud.
只是希望 我能陪你
I’d just wish I could be there
走过此程
To see you through.
© 2014-2024 pabulika.com 版权所有
