斯图尔特：倒带人生（2007）

很多明星都来这儿打网球
Famous actors used to come here and play tennis,
比如劳伦斯·奥利弗
like Lawrence Olivier and?
劳伦斯·奥利弗 真的 就在这儿
Lawrence Olivier? Really? Right there?
21比0
21-Love!
你们应该把这些树都砍了
You ought to knock all of them trees down
然后建条卡丁赛道
and build a go-kart course.
好好利用一下 这块地不错的
If you fix this place up it would be really lovely here.
我并非罪人 也未曾犯罪
Never been a sinner I never sinned
天堂之上 有我的朋友
I got a friend in Jesus
你要明白 我百年之后
So you know that when I die
他会带我 飞向天堂
He’s gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky
带我飞向天堂
Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky
那将是我 死后的归所
That’s where I’m gonna go when I die
百年之后 他们将我安葬
When I die and they lay me to rest
我会前往乐土安息
I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best
前往乐土安息
I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best
产自中国的红茶品种
正山小种吧 真不错
Lapsang Souchong? Very nice.
味道真棒
Ooh, it’s very tasty. Yeah.
这地方真不错
Fucking amazing here.
真是爽翻了
Yeah, A-fucking-One.
这也太假了
They’re so false.
这奶♥子♥也太假了
False tits.
我个人更喜欢那种自然有弹性的
Now, I prefer a bit of natural bounce myself.
如果它们下垂了
I mean, and if they’re going to sag,
就让他们下垂呗
they’re going to sag, aren’t they?
我不明白 亚历山大
I don’t get it, Alexander.
你为什么对流浪汉这么感兴趣
How come you’re so interested in homeless people?
我没有 我在冬暖之家工作
I’m not. I was only working at
就是因为那里给钱多
Wintercomfort because the money was good.
1小时9镑
Nine quid an hour.
时间也合适 还可以轮班
And the hours, shift work.
这些洋葱要煮多久
How long are these onions meant to cook?
到它们满意了为止
Till they feel satisfied.
轮班我就可以在早上写作
And then it meant I could write in the morning.
是啊 但为什么
Yeah, but why?
斯图尔特 如果因为你是流浪汉
Look, Stuart, if I was interested in you
我才对你感兴趣 那叫违规行为
as a homeless person, I’d have been sacked
我老早就该被他们炒了
for unprofessional conduct ages ago.
所以呢 -所以我把你当朋友
So? – So I like you as a friend,
不行吗
is that so bad?
来点胡芦巴吗
Fenugreek?
你想做我朋友 太奇怪了
It’s a bit weird if you ask me.
同意
Couldn’t agree more.
七 八
Seven, eight.
总会有人吃不了两块
There’s always somebody what won’t want two.
为什么做我朋友
Yeah, but why?
因为你风趣 聪明 很易相处
Because you’re funny, intelligent, good company.
难不成你想要我给你写情书吗
What do you want, a fucking love letter?
赶快闭嘴喝你的酒吧
Now shut up and drink your freaking beer.
太棒了
Marvellous.
这叫什么来着 -罪犯特制咖喱
What was it again? – “Convict Curry”.
斯图尔特 今天周四 该将故事了
Hey Stuart, it’s Thursday! You gotta tell!
不 现在不行
No, not now.
说吧 要言而有信
Come on. A promise is a promise.
说吧 其它的事你都跟我们说了啊
Come on, you’ve talked to us about everything else.
你歇歇吧 亚历山大
Give it a rest, Alexander.
你不会想听的
You don’t wanna know.
是斯图尔特首次被判有期徒刑
Stuart’s first prison sentence.
他只在周四才谈这件事
He’ll only talk about it on a Thursday
因为他周三下午领救济金
because he gets his dole money Wednesday afternoons,
所以如果他说得不爽了
which means that if talking about it upsets him,
他还有钱买♥♥海♥洛♥因♥让自己镇定下来
he’s still got enough heroin left to calm him down.
没错吧
Is that right?
其实也没什么
It was nothing.
我 我有天晚上去酒吧
I was – I was in the pub one night.
那天是小家伙的生日
It was the little ‘un’s birthday.
我正在酒吧庆祝呢
I was, I was in the pub celebrating.
那都是10年前了
It was over ten years ago.
有个家伙说
This bloke says…
其实都是些破事
It was just nastiness.
继续
Come on.
求你了 亚历山大
Alexander, please.
你说的周四说
Look, Thursday’s the day.
所以我就回家了
So I come home.
马文说你和格兰汉姆上♥床♥了
Marvin says you’ve been fucking Graham.
你喝多了
You’re drunk.
如果想要我 强♥奸♥我啊
If you want it, you gotta rape me.
你看我不杀了你 你个贱♥货♥
I’ll fucking kill you, you cunt!
给我出去
Get out!
你把孩子吵醒了
You waked a fucking baby!
我想大概那时我就意识到
And I think then I realised
我把一切搞得一团糟
that I had made a proper mess of it all, really.
我要走了
I’m fucking leaving.
哪儿你都别去
You fucking are now!
你想耍我吗
Did you fuck around with me!? Yeah!?
我现在挺惭愧的 说实话
I’m a bit ashamed of that to be honest.
滚 给我滚 我不认识你们
Go on, fuck off! Fuck off. I don’t know you.
都给我滚
Go on, fuck off!
该死的
Fucking hell!
没事了
It’s alright.
滚
Fuck off!
我们坐了一会儿
So we sat around for a bit
然后决定一起出去
and decided we’d come out together.
我们出来了 一起出来
We’re coming out now. We’re together.
抱歉
I’m sorry.
快 捉住他
Go! Get him!
康妮 把那家伙杀了
Connie, just shoot the fucker!
他疯了 他不是斯图尔特
He just lost it. It’s not Stuart.
这里真不错 亚历山大 谢谢你
Lovely stay, Alexander. Thank you very much.
我过得很开心
I really enjoyed it.
我本以为中产阶级
I thought that middle class people
脑子都有问题
had something wrong with them, you know?
但他们都是普通人 是不是
But they’re just ordinary, aren’t they?
说实话我有点震惊
I was a bit shocked, to tell the truth.
之后的几个月中
Over the next few months,
指控斯图尔特过失杀害他的邻居
Stuart’s trial for the attempted manslaughter
那个非同性恋 搭”嘭-嘭-嗖”床的邻居
of his not poofter, boing-boing-whoosh
这案件的庭审被推迟了1次
bed making neighbour was postponed once,
2次
twice,
3次
a third time,
然后又推迟了1次
and then a fourth.
他急需钱用所以 我花250磅买♥♥了他的车
He needed some cash so I gave him 250 quid for his car
到现在手续也没办齐
and I’m still waiting for the paperwork.
与此同时 我们的抗♥议♥活动愈发壮大
Meanwhile, the campaign went from strength to strength.
新闻简报 请♥愿♥书 抗♥议♥ 甚至义演
Newsletters, petitions, protests, even benefit gigs.
斯图尔特还贡献良策
And then it was Stuart’s bright idea
去找本地的下院议员
to go and see our local MP.
抱歉 我只是有点紧张
I’m sorry, I’m just a bit nervous is all.
史都华先生并非来自安妮的选民区
Mr Shorter is not from Anne’s constituency?
我来自安妮的选民区
I’m from Anne’s constituency.
我想邀请斯图尔特陪同参观
I wish to take Stuart as my guest.
亚历山大
Alexander…
这样的话你们必须重新预约
For that you’ll have to make a new appointment.
荒唐 反正她现在也没事干 不是吗
Rubbish! She’s got nothing else to do, has she?
委员会无法为流浪汉
The council is not gonna have
提供足够的冬季收♥容♥所♥
no emergency winter shelter for the homeless.
恐怕…
And I’m frightened…
到了冬天
in winter
就只有白粉才能让你
it’s smack what keeps you fucking…
让你暖和起来