不只呢 还是永远的尿友
Even better, we’re Pee-FFs.
永远的尿友！我喜欢
Pee-FFs! I love it.
-对 太棒了 -哇 小虫
– Yeah. Love that. – Oh, Bug!
你看起来很开心！
You look happy!
什么开心？我笑是因为
What are you talking about, I look happy? I’m just smiling
我们在互相撒尿
because we’re all sitting here pissing on each other,
所以我就笑出来了 不代表我开心呢
so it just– I cracked a smile. It’s not an emotional thing.
你爱我们！
– You love us! – You love us!
-行了 -没错！
– Okay, that’s it. – That’s right.
-你爱我们 小虫 -我要睡觉了
-You do, Bug. -That’s my cue to go to bed.
-承认吧 小虫 -听着
– Come on, Bug. – Look, listen.
我们要有很长的路要走 而且时间紧迫
We got a lot of walking to do and not much time to do it.
快点休息吧
Let’s get some sleep.
等一下
H-H-Ho-Hold on one second.
-换个方向 -换个方向 我试试
-Go back the other way. -Better the other way. Let me…
你嗅过地面了吗？
Have you tried sniffing the ground?
失败了
Fucked that one up.
得重新调整
You gotta reset yourself.
倒回去90度 就差一点了
Go back 90 degrees. You were so close.
现在趴下
Now sit down.
可以了
That’ll do. That’ll do.
终于行了 太好了 睡觉
All right, finally, good. Time for bed.
睡觉吧
– Let’s get some sleep. – Okay.
-快速转圈 -等一一下
– And quick turn… It’s time to go… – Wait, hang on.
一圈 两圈 三圈
One turn. Two turns. Three turns.
天 小虫都把我弄懵了
Oh, God. Bug’s really fucked with my head.
-转 好了 -四 五
– Turn. There, and that’s it. – Five, four,
-三 二 一 -好了 准备好了
– three, two, one. – Again. Okay. Now I’m ready.
成功了 轻松
There. I did it. Easy.
躺下
And get down.
我速度越来越快了
I’m getting much faster at that.
-晚安 各位 -晚安 小雷
-Good night, everyone. -Good night, Reg.
晚安 雷吉
Good night, Reggie.
谢谢你们让我撒尿
Thanks again for letting me pee on you guys.
-雷吉？ -嗯？
– Reggie? – Yeah?
你能闭嘴吗？
Could you stop fucking talking?
好的
– Yeah. Yeah, yeah. – All right.
好了 今天是个大日子 下一个目标是巨型锥体
Okay, guys. Big day today. Next up is the giant cone.
不知道这里能有什么锥体
I don’t know what kind of cone we’re gonna find out here.
应该不难找 那东西可大了
It can’t be too hard to find. It’s gigantic.
这里只有树啊
All I see is trees, but whatever.
伙计 你有没有想过要怎么做？
Hey, mate, have you thought about how you’re gonna do it?
做什么？
Uh, sorry, d-do what?
咬掉道格的小♥弟♥弟♥啊
-Bite Doug’s dick off. -Oh.
从中间咬断 还是齐根咬掉？
Were you thinking lengthwise or tip-to-shaft?
我不知道
Gosh, I don’t know.
我从来没咬过谁的鸡鸡
You know, I’ve never bitten off a dick before.
到时候顺其自然吧
I guess I’ll let it just come to me in the moment.
要等到什么时候
So, at what point of this trip
你才能爷们儿起来 采取行动啊？
are you gonna build up a little BDE and make a move, huh?
-跟玛吉？ -对啊
-With Maggie? -Yes, Maggie–
不 我说的是这个长苔藓的树干 不是玛吉还能是什么？
No, with this mossy stump. What the fuck you think I’m talking about?
不可能的 她看不上我
No way. She wouldn’t go for me.
也许以后会捅破那层窗户纸吧
I mean, maybe a door opens up down the road,
但我们现在只是朋友
but for now, we’re just friends.
什么捅破窗户纸？
What are you talking about, opening up doors?
我们又没有手指头 你得直接把窗户纸撞烂
We don’t have thumbs. You gotta knock the fucking door down.
谁会想跟落选警犬约会啊？
Yeah, but who would want to date a failed police dog
而且还一直带着耻辱罩
who wears a cone 24/7?
别这样 天鹅配癞蛤♥蟆♥的例子多了去了
Aw, come on, dude. Girls date losers all the time.
雷吉 你不用这样做的
You know, Reggie, that you don’t have to do it, right?
你说什么呢？我必须这么做
What are you talking about? Of course I do.
我必须咬掉那根屌♥ 啊呜啊呜
I’m gonna get all over that dick. Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm.
你也可以放下道格
Yeah, but you could just, you know, move on from Doug,
你根本不用跟他有任何交集
and then you wouldn’t have to do anything to him at all.
你可以放下的
You could always just let it go.
我不–
I-I’m not–
不 我才不要放下
No. Not just gonna let it go.
你太怂了 被警犬学校开除了
All right, look, you failed doggy school ’cause you was a wuss,
过去的事我们没法改变
but there’s nothing we can do about your past.
但你脑袋上那东西应该有办法解决
We might, however, be able to get that thing off your head.
这个？不行
This? No. No, you can’t.
怎么不行？我们一起拽–
Sure we can. If we all pull together, we can–
不是 我是说 我需要它
No, I mean, I need it.
我是故意戴着它的
I keep it on intentionally.
等等 什么？
Wait, really?
我以为这是…医疗用品
I assumed it was, like, you know, a medical thing.
确实是
Oh, it is.
但我会主动行动留着它
I’ll do anything to keep it on,
稍微自残一下就可以
and most self-inflicted injuries will do the trick.
比如让猫抓 用马桶感染耳朵
You know, cat scratches, ear infection from the toilet,
一直舔蛋蛋 舔啊舔 直到人类开始担心
lick my testicles for hours and hours until the humans get concerned.
但是这都是值得的 我经常会焦虑
But it’s worth it. I get anxious sometimes,
它能帮我屏蔽外面的影响
and the cone helps me block things out.
你们聊什么呢？
What are you guys talking about?
没什么 还是那些
Oh, uh, nothing. You know, same old, same old.
我让他要振作雄风
I’m telling him he’s got to get that big dick energy.
-小虫 -至少外表上已经做到了
-Bug! -Well, you’ve got the first part down.
谢谢你赞美我的阴♥茎♥ 玛吉
Thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie.
你的阴♥户♥也很大
You know, your vagina’s huge too.
-你牛啊 -该死 我怎么会说这种话？
-Seriously? -Shit. Why did I say that?
-小雷 问个问题 -你说
– Reg, let me ask you something. – Yeah?
你确定大锥体在这个方向吗？
How sure are you that the big cone is this way?
这个嘛
I don’t know.
介于”确定“和”不确定“之间… 我很确定
On a scale of “sure” to “not sure,” I’m pretty sure…
我没法确定 这个是确定的
that I’m not really sure. That, I’m sure of.
该死！我们迷路了
Holy shit! We’re lost.
-太好了 -我就知道会这样
– Great. – I knew this would happen.
冷静点 小虫 肯定能解决 没那么糟糕 本来可能更糟的
Calm down, Bug. We’ll figure it out. This could be a lot worse.
真的吗 亨特？
Oh, really, Hunter?
我快饿死了 我们彻底迷路了
I’m starving, we’re completely fucking lost,
而且我的小狗爪肉垫现在很疼
and my little puppy paw pads are really hurting right now.
已经糟得不能更糟了吧？
– Aw. – So how exactly could this get worse?
说啊 告诉我
Huh? How could it? Tell me. Huh?
怎么可能更糟？
How could it get worse?
小虫！
Bug!
-我为什么要说可能更糟啊？ -靠！
– Why did I say it could get a lot worse? – Oh, shit!
求你别扔下我 别吃我
Please, please, don’t drop me! Don’t eat me! None of that!
-那只老鹰的时机把握的真好 -小虫 坚持住
– That eagle has some good timing. – Bug! Hold on, buddy!
小雷！雷吉！你们快救救我！
Reg! Reggie! Guys, help me!
问问他能不能飞低一点！
Ask him if he wouldn’t mind bringing you lower!
你说什么呢？我不会鸟语
What are you talking about? I don’t speak bird.
-那就麻烦了！ -救命
– We’re in a real pickle! – Help, help, help.
救救我！
Do something. Somebody do something!
老天啊！
Oh! Oh, God!
对！不！
Yes! No!
完蛋 现在更高了
This is fucking crazy, we’re going higher!
-坚持住！ -雷吉！小虫！
– Hold on, buddy! – Reggie! Bug!
哇 从这个角度看 你的蛋蛋好大
Oh, wow, your balls look huge from this angle.
谢谢 但是 我♥操♥！
Thank you. But holy fuck!
那是金颊黑背林莺
That is a golden-cheeked warbler.
没见过这种
I’ve been missing that one.
打勾
Check.
我的天
Holy shit.
从来没见过这么疯狂的场景
That is the craziest thing I have ever seen.
我可是丹尼斯·奎得 丹尼斯·奎得可是见过大风大浪的人
And I’m Dennis Quaid, and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit.
-把我放下 贱♥人♥！ -快看 小虫！
-Let me down, bitch! -Bug, look!
那边！巨型锥体！
Over there! The giant cone!
-什么？ -巨型锥体！
-What? – The giant cone!
哦 锥体！
Oh, the cone! Well, shit.