Now, why are these humans so desperate to keep us?
-因为他们爱我们？ -不对 我有个理论
-Because they love us? -No, no, I got a theory.
他们需要我们的粪便
-They need us for our poop. -Huh?
仔细看 看那个女士
Watch that lady. Watch her.
看到了？
– See? See? – Uh-huh.
他们在收集狗屎
It’s like they’re collecting it for something.
干什么用呢？
What do you think they do with it?
我觉得是用来做巧克力的
I think they’re using it to make chocolate.
你吃过巧克力吗？
-Oh. -Have you ever had a piece of chocolate?
-没有 -对吧！
-No. -Exactly.
来吧 给你介绍下我的老铁们
Come on. I’m gonna introduce you to my homies.
你不是说这些狗都是废柴吗？
I thought you said these dogs were all losers.
我说的可多了
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit.
-嗨 废柴们 -嗨 小虫
-Hey, losers. -Hey, Bug.
这不是能追上车的小狗狗吗
Ugh. If it isn’t the tiny dog who caught the car.
-我确实追上车了 -所有狗都知道这不可能
-I did catch that car. -No, everyone knows that’s impossible.
-车已经停在那里了 -我追上之后才停的
-Yeah, it was parked. -Yeah, it parked after I caught it.
-不对 车上没人 -车上没人
-No, there was no one in the car. -No one in the car.
喂 我不是来跟你们斗嘴的
Listen, I don’t even have to keep this conversation going.
废柴们 我是来
What I was trying to do, losers,
跟你们介绍我的新朋友 雷吉
was introduce you to my new friend, Reggie.
他刚被抛弃
He just got dumped.
很遗憾 伙计 欢迎加入流浪狗俱乐部
Aw, sorry, mate. Welcome to the club.
很遗憾 你也已经抛弃人类了吧？
I’m sorry. Was it at least mutual?
-那只是个游戏 -小雷 这是亨特
-No, it’s actually just a game. -Reg, I want you to meet Hunter.
他是情绪支持犬 在人类的临终之家上班
He’s a therapy dog who works in a home for dying humans.
听起来还不错吧
Which sounds like an okay gig,
但他接受的可是警犬培训
except that he was trained to be a police dog.
你差点加入警队了？
You almost made it to the police squad?
太牛了
That’s awesome.
嗯 大概挺牛的吧
Oh. Yeah, I… I guess it’s awesome.
别当老子的路 耻辱罩
Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy.
不好意思 巴比斯
Oh. Sorry about that, Bubsy.
亨特 你得回嘴啊
Hunter, say something back, mate.
哦 对
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
喂 巴比斯
Um… Hey, Bubsy.
你♥他♥妈♥的…周末有安排了不？
You got any fucking… weekend plans?
什么？太友好了吧
– What? Still sounds friendly. – You got him.
有啊 无套内♥射♥你老妈
-Yeah, raw-doggin’ your mom. -Ah. Right.
我很确定她已经去世了 不过还是祝你好运吧
Well, I’m pretty sure she’s dead, but good luck anyway.
怂货！
Pussy!
观察很细致吗 巴比斯 保重
Love those observations, Bubs. Take care.
亨特 爷们儿起来
Hunter, get your weight up.
别让他那么跟你说话
Don’t let him talk to you like that.
-你可是这里最大的狗！ -你该把他的狗脸吃掉
-You’re the biggest dog here! -You should eat his freakin’ face off,
再拉出来 然后再吃掉
shit it out and then eat it again.
小虫 你知道我不喜欢冲突的
Bug, you know I don’t love confrontation.
别被他的大狗吊骗了 他就是个巨型怂包
Yeah, don’t let the big dick fool you. He’s just a gigantic pussy.
哇 这根阴♥茎♥确实很赞
Whoa. It is a great penis.
谢了 我一直很注意清洁
Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean.
有机会就好好舔一下
Do my best to lick it as much as possible.
对 比亨特的老二更显眼的
Yeah, the only thing thicker than Hunter’s dick
就是这两位之间的爱意了
is the sexual tension between these two.
-别这样嘛 -小虫 你说什么？
– Oh, come on. – Bug, no. What?
-不过很搞笑呢 -可不是嘛
-That’s funny, though. -Yeah, right. Imagine.
“比亨特的老二更显眼”
“Thicker than Hunter’s dick.”
-不过没有啦 -没有
– But, no. No. – No.
这位是玛吉 她可是个强大的女性
Now, Maggie, on the other hand, is one bad bitch.
可惜她的主人珍娜
But sadly, her owner, Jenna,
更喜欢那只取代她的小狗
thinks the badder bitch is the puppy that replaced her.
贝拉看着我 好像在说 “我也想要杯子蛋糕”
So Bella looked at me, like, “I want a cupcake too,”
我只能给她杯子蛋糕了
so I was, like, “I’m gonna get her a cupcake.”
-我太懂了 -是吧？
-I am so here for that. -Right?
珍娜说“坐” 我坐下了
So, Jenna said, “sit,” which I did.
但是呢 我又想呀
But then I thought,
要是我表现出迷茫 会不会更可爱呢？
wouldn’t it be cute if I acted all confused
-所以我就歪头杀咯 -不是吧！
– and tilted my head, like, “Huh?” – Oh, my God, stop.
老天 跟那种狗竞争可真悲催
Man, sure gotta suck to compete with that.
没关系
No, it’s fine.
贝拉还小 又可爱又好玩
Bella’s young and cute and fun,
珍娜当然爱她多过爱我了 我能理解
so of course Jenna loves her more than me right now, and I get that.
那就好 如果你们俩待会儿有时间–
Cool. Anyways, I was thinking, if you guys are free later–
但是我不理解 她追着尾巴转圈的时候
But what I really don’t get is why Jenna thinks it’s so adorable
为什么珍娜会觉得很可爱 我闭着眼睛也能转啊
when she spins around in circles. I could do that in my sleep.
-算了 不说了 -好吧
-You know what, it’s totally fine. -Mmm. Okay.
我现在已经不为这种事心烦了 我没事
You know what? It doesn’t get to me so much anymore. I’m fine.
我不嫉妒 不担心 不生气 不抑郁
I’m not jealous or worried or angry or depressed
不困惑 不愤怒 完全没有精神错乱
or confused or fuming or unhinged at all.
嗯 你看起来完全没问题
Yeah, you seem totally fine.
而且珍娜把精力都放在贝拉身上之后
And now that Jenna’s spending so much time with Bella,
我也有机会关注自己了
it’s given me a chance to do a little self-care.
我最近很喜欢挖土
I’ve been going into the digging.
我喜欢爪子陷入泥土的感觉
I like the feeling of the soil under my nails.
我又可以呼吸新鲜空气 感受于土地的纽带
I’m out in the fresh air again. I’m just connecting to the land.
对 我发现我喜欢挖土 超爱的 我爱挖土！
No, I’m learning I love digging. I love digging! I love it! I love to dig!
怎么回事？
What’s happening?
看 小雷 现在庆幸自己是流浪狗了吧？
See, Reg? Aren’t you happy to be a stray now
不用再处理跟主人的那些破事儿了
and not have to deal with all that owner bullshit?
我说了 我不是流浪狗
Well, no. As I said, I’m not a stray.
道格只是在跟我玩游戏
Doug and I are just playing a game.
今晚跟我们一起出来玩吧？
Look, why don’t you come out with us tonight?
你会知道松开牵引绳、拥抱自♥由♥ 是多么美好
And you can learn how beautiful it can be when you’re off the leash.
如果我没法说服你当流浪狗的美好
If I can’t convince you that being stray is great,
-残渣之夜会说服你 -肯定的
– scraps night will. – Sure will.
谢谢 但是我该回去找道格了
Well, thank you, but I really should be getting back to Doug.
什么？为什么？
What? Why?
让他开心啊 这不就是狗的使命吗？
So I can make him happy. Isn’t that a dog’s purpose?
-不许说这种话！ -又来了
-Don’t you ever say that again! -Here we go.
雷吉 你的使命不是逗傻♥逼♥人类开心
Reggie, your purpose is not to make some stupid human families happy.
不是让某一个废柴人生圆♥满♥
It’s not to make some single loser feel more complete.
你的使命是去做
Your purpose is to do
你想做的事
-whatever the fuck you want. -Whatever the fuck you want.
当你成为流浪狗之后
And when you are a stray,
有无数的事等着你去做
– there’s a lot to fucking do. – …a lot to fucking do.
怎么还有回声的？
Why do I feel like there’s an echo in here?
-你说过无数遍了 -我知道
– You’ve said this a million times. – I know.
我喜欢你的演讲
I love that spiel.
你们想演讲就自己写去
Write your own fucking speeches, okay?
挺好的
It’s fine. Okay.
好了 残渣之夜 怎么样？
Now, what do you say, guys? Another scraps night?
好耶！
Yes!
好 日落时分 披萨店集♥合♥
All right, meet at the pizza place at sundown,
咱们要大干一场
and we gonna fuck shit up.
什么是残渣之夜？
So what is scraps night?
这是一周中最美好的一晚
It’s that one magnificent night of the week
这一晚 人类会更愿意给我们食物
where humans are a lot more willing to give us food
或者不小心弄掉 或者两者皆有
or drop it accidentally or both.
他们弄掉的食物最棒了
That stuff that they’re dropping is gold.
我们会惹上麻烦的
I just feel like we’re gonna get in trouble.
我们是帮他们打扫 他们会很高兴的
No, we’re cleaning up. These fuckers love it when we clean up.
注意了
Wait for it.
注意了
Wait for it.
快打翻披萨吧 贱♥人♥
Drop the fucking pizza, bitch.
-上！ -就是现在 大快朵颐！
– Go! – That’s the one. Let’s do this!
? I-I-I-I’m with all my dogs ?
? Finna fuck the city up ?
? Keep a pocket full Got these bitches wanna hit me up ?
? Drinking by the pool ?
? Doing drugs, is you lit or what? ?
? Making hella noise… ?
这种水让我有点头晕
This water is making me dizzy.
等着吧 后面还会更晕呢
It’s about to get real dizzy up in this bitch.
-我不介意 我喜欢这感觉 -悠着点 小雷
– I don’t mind feeling dizzy. I like it. – Pace yourself, Reg.
切斯特 我再给你说一遍