Did you get any whiff of him yesterday, Munchkin?
-没有 长官 -等一下！
– Nothing I can recall, sir. – Wait!
-领巾！ -什么？
-The bandana! -Come again?
领巾上有他的气味 快走！
We can get his scent from the bandana. Let’s go! Let’s go!
漂亮 玛吉
Nice, Maggie.
拉尔夫？
Rolf?
拉尔夫！
Hey, Rolf!
在这里！
– There it is! – There! There it is! There it is!
干得好 玛吉
Way to go, Maggie.
老天啊 什么味儿啊
Halt! Good God, what’s that smell?
你能闻到雷吉的气味吗？
Can you smell Reggie off that thing?
闻不到狗味 长官 都是尿味
I’m not getting any dog off of this, sir. Just a lot of urine.
哎呀
– Oh, huh. Oh, wow. – Huh.
-那就怪了 -是小虫
– That’s weird. – It was Bug.
从痕迹来看 尿流量不大
And from the stain patterns, I can tell this was a very small pee stream,
说明那只狗的阴♥茎♥极其短小
indicative of a dog with an… …unbelievably tiny penis.
-还是小虫 -胡说八道
-Again, Bug. -It ain’t indicative of shit.
肯定是一根
If anything, it is indicative of a well-shaped,
超大尺寸的性感鸡鸡
sensual penis that transcends dick size.
这是标准的XDN：小屌♥尿
Lots of TDU: Tiny Dick Urine over here.
从里面识别出狗类气息基本不可能
It would take a miracle to pick up any dog scent off of that thing.
你在这里啊 你们在干什么？
There you are. What’s gotten into you guys?
你干什么？
Fuck are you doing?
你会污染气息的
You’ll taint the smell.
我在做你应该做的工作 滚开吧 阿道夫
I’m doing your job. Now back the fuck off, Adolf.
-阿道夫？ -因为你是德国牧羊犬
-Adolf? -It’s ’cause you’re a German Sh–
-算了 -明白了 你说我是希♥特♥勒♥
-Oh, whatever. -I get it now. Hitler reference.
加油 玛吉
Go, Maggie! Go, Maggie!
我闻到了…
I’m picking up…
站街女狗 披萨 披萨呕吐物
Bitches of the night. Pizza. Vomit pizza?
热狗 好多尿
Hot dogs. All of our pee.
鹰的羽毛 丹尼斯·奎德？
Eagle feathers. Dennis Quaid?
松鼠做♥爱♥ 我毫不知情的死兔子
Squirrel sex. Dead bunnies that I know nothing about.
亨特的鸡鸡 好多好多屎
Hunter’s boner. Ooh, lots of shit.
波士顿梗的小鸡鸡 还有…
A tiny Boston Terrier dick and…
雷吉！照到了！
Reggie! I got him!
-厉害 玛吉！ -出发！
-Yes, Maggie! -Let’s move!
我们走！谢啦 罗尔夫！
Come on, let’s go! Thanks, Rolf!
不过你陷害我们那次就不谢你了
Except for when you fucked us over.
祝你们好运 士兵们！
Good luck, soldiers!
抱歉我之前那么混♥蛋♥！
And sorry I’m such a fucking asshole!
我得勤加练习了
I should really work on myself.
谢谢你拉在地毯上！
Oh, thanks for shitting on the carpet!
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么想的？
The fuck are you thinking? Huh?
真是个白♥痴♥狗东西
Oh, you’re such a stupid little piece of shit.
你能不能滚远点？
Can you just leave me the fuck alone?
坏狗！
Bad dog!
你就是这个声音 狗东西
That’s what you fucking sound like, you piece of shit.
好 最后在地毯上拉一次 我就走
Okay, one last shit on the carpet, and then I’m out.
嗨 道格
Hey, Doug.
操！
Fuck!
是我 雷吉
It’s me, Reggie.
我知道你听不懂我的话
A-And look, I-I know you can’t understand what I’m saying right now.
不不不 不可能
No, no, no, this is not happening.
但我想说出我的感觉
But I just wanna say how I feel.
我知道你不喜欢我
I know you didn’t like me.
很明显了
I mean, obviously.
你把我遗弃在街头
You abandoned me in the street.
但是我真的尽了自己所能 想让你感到被爱
But just know that I did everything I could to make you feel loved.
我以为只要我足够爱你 你也会爱我
And I thought if I loved you enough, then maybe you would love me back.
然后我遇到了新朋友
But then I met new friends.
认识了有漂亮大屌♥的 世界上温柔的大狗
I met the sweetest big dog, with just the nicest dick.
最有天赋的母狗
The most talented, baddest bitch in the world,
还有一个小小只 暴脾气
and the tiniest, scrappiest,
但却是我好的朋友
funniest best friend I could ever ask for.
对了 我还见到了我儿子 他是个地精 我们还做♥爱♥了！
Oh, and I met my son too, who’s a gnome, and we had sex, but whatever.
重点是 这些朋友让我知道了 什么是真正的爱
The point is, those friends showed me what real love feels like.
这是你没有给过我的
And it’s nothing like what we had.
现在我知道了 我不是坏狗
Now I know that I wasn’t a bad dog.
你是坏人
You were a bad man.
坏人！
Bad man! Bad man!
再见了 道格
Goodbye, Doug.
以及去你♥妈♥的♥
And fuck you.
我到底要怎么才能摆脱你啊？
Now what do I gotta do to get you the fuck out of my life?
你到底是怎么回来的？
I mean, how do you not get it, man?
我开了三个小时的车
I drove you three hours away.
怎么才能让你知道 我根本不在乎你
I mean, how could I make it any more clear that I don’t care about you?
更不喜欢你
I don’t fucking love you.
永别了 狗东西
Goodbye forever, shitbag.
至少我找到了爱我的狗
Well, at least I found someone who loved me.
永远的尿友
Pee-FFs forever.
永远的尿友
Pee-FFs forever!
搞什么？这又是哪儿来的狗？
The fuck? Who the hell are these dogs?
老天 这他妈成狗电影了
Jesus Christ, it’s like a fucking dog movie in here.
是吗？
Oh, yeah?
你能怎么样 耻辱罩？
The fuck are you gonna do about it, cone boy?
糟糕
Oh, shit.
雷吉 你没事吧？
Reggie, are you okay?
小虫 对不起 我不该说那些话–
Listen, Bug, I-I’m so sorry for what I said. I–
现在别说这些了
Don’t worry about that right now.
对 有个老二等着我们咬呢
Yeah, we’ve got a dick to rip off.
滚开！
Get the fuck off me!
操！滚！
Fuck. What the– Get off me!
松口！靠！
Let go! Goddamn it!
操 我的膝盖
Ow! Fuck, my knee! Goddamn it!
你也想尝尝吗？
Oh, you want some, huh?
妈的！
Oh, goddamn it!
你们这混球欠我一个微波炉
You little fuckers owe me a microwave.
吃我一脚！
Eat some foot!
我的脚！
Ah! My foot!
狗东西！
Shitbag!
操 我的背！
Oh! Fuck, my back!
-快点！我们得走了！ -操！
– Guys! We should get out of here. – Fuck!
-雷吉！ -抓到你了 狗东西！
– Reggie! – Got you, you little shit!
看看你 交到新朋友啦？
Well, look at you. You got yourself some friends?
你们这群长毛的混♥蛋♥听好了
Let me tell you furry fucks something.
你们的小兄弟毁了我的生活
Your little buddy here ruined my life.
他出现之前 我的生活很好
Before him, I had a fucking good thing going.
有地方住
A roof over my head,
有老妈的支票 有两个女朋友
checks from my mom, two girlfriends.
现在我没房♥子 没女友
Now I have no house, no girlfriends,
只能每天打飞机
and I have to masturbate all day.
这个狗把我变成了废柴
All right? This dog turned me into a fucking loser.
他的话怎么那么多？
Why’s he talking so much?
你们看过《马利与我》的结局吗？
You ever see the end of Marley & Me? Huh?
我也没看过 因为太无聊了
Yeah, me neither. It’s fucking boring.
但我知道 最后那条狗死了
But I do know that the dog dies in the end.
我会享受慢慢掐死你…
I’m gonna enjoy squeezing the life out of you…
-玛吉 亨特 各就各位 -明白
– Maggie, Hunter get in position. – Got it.
-收到 -因为你也慢慢毁了我的生活
– Copy. – …cause you squeezed the life out of me.
怎么回事？
Wait, what’s happening?
你们排队干什么？
What are they doing getting in a line like that?
操你！
Fuck you!
? We clawed, we chained ?
? Our hearts in vain ?
? We jumped, never asking why ?
? We kissed I fell under your spell ?
? A love no one could deny ?
? Don’t you ever say… ?
该死的坏狗
Bad fucking dog!
被你说中了
You’re goddamn right.
? I came in like a wrecking ball ?
? I never hit so hard in love ?
? All I wanted was to break your walls ?
? All you ever did was ?
? Wreck me ?