依然爱丽丝

还是约翰 史密斯
Or John Smith?
史密斯
Smith?
他的地址是在东街
And his address was it East Street?
华盛顿街 汉博特街还是中心街
Washington Street? Hambolt Street? Or Main Street?
直接说结论吧
Just jumping in here,
我们现在很关心到哪个阶段了 病情发展是否正常
we are both concerned about the rate of detoriation. Is that normal?
每个病例都有不同
Well, every case is different.
早期的认知障碍能恶化很快
With thermilio early on-set, things can go fast.
特别是针对高学历的人 会更快
And actually with people who have a high level of education, things can go faster.
他们长时间通过脑力活动
Often they’ve managed to sustain
获取所需而导致
their mental processes through innovative means,
语言能力的下降
and that delays the diagnosis.
很明显爱丽丝的记忆在衰退 但脑袋依旧灵活
Clearly Alice’s memory is falling, but she’s still incredibly resourceful.
谢谢
Thank you.
我知道你很泄气
I know you are discouraged.
即使这样 我时常会遇到病人却柏拉图式地坚持着
But sometimes I see patients “Plato” even at this point,
别放弃希望
don’t lose hope.
爱丽丝
Alice,
我在阿茨海默症协会的活动册子上看到你的名字
I read your name in the Alzheimer association’s care conference brochure,
你要做演讲
you’re gonna give a speech!
你会去吗
Will you be there?
会 我很期待
Yes, I’m looking forward to it.
我那时候在明尼苏达出差 我有点担心
I’m going to be away on business in Minnesota, so I worried.
以她现在的状态你确定这是好主意吗
Are you sure this is a good idea? Considering the state she’s in,
她压力会很大
she can be under a lot of stress.
我觉得这对她有好处
I think it would be great for her.
我保证一切都会很好
I am sure that everything is going to be fine.
你不用担心 爱丽丝你担心吗
You are not worried about it, are you Alice?
不 我觉得我能应对
No, I don’t think so.
我们有办法阻止淀粉体的扩散
There is ways to prevent the production of amyloid are being tried,
有一篇新研究发现贝斯和伽玛肠促胰液素结合的抑制剂
there is a new study that combines Base and Gamma secretin inhibitors
这是我们未来最大的希望 就这么多 那是结尾
and this is one of our best hopes for the future. That’s it, that’s the end.
不错 妈 很好 非常专业
Good, mom. It’s good. It’s very scientific.
是 你知道这演讲的
Yes, well, you know.
嗯 我知道是关于这些 但
Yeah, and I’m sure it’s about it, but…
但是什么
But what?
你有没有想过多写一点关于自己
Have you thought about making it more personal?
我不懂你的意思
I don’t understand what you mean by “personal”.
你不是跟一整个房♥间的科学家演讲
You know, you’re not speaking to a room of scientists,
人们想知道你的感受
what I wanna know really is like, how you feel? What is it feel like?
这个病对你意味着什么
What is this disease mean to you?
你根本没认真听 我都提到了 都写在演讲稿里了
You weren’t listening because that’s all there. That’s in the speech.
好吧 那就不要问我的意见
Ok, don’t ask me then.
我不知道 也许我就不会问
Dunno, then I won’t ask, then.
妈再试一次好吗
Hey, mom, just give it one more shot, ok?
不行 我已经写完了
I can’t because I have done it already.
我用这只黄色的…笔来标记
I use this yellow…yellow thingy to mark it
这样我就不会把同一句话重复好多好多好多好多遍了
so I don’t have to read the same line over and over and over and over again!
明白了 多多练习吧
Got it, totally, just practice more.
你知道我花了 3天才写好这篇稿子吗
Do you know it takes me three days to write this?
你再多花一天时间也无妨
You can turn to it one more.
不行 已经花了我三天时间了
No, it took me three days.
抱歉
Sorry.
三天
Three days.
这是你们的座位
Here you are.
谢谢
Thank you.
嗨
Hi
嗨
Hello there.
你来了 你好
Hello.
汤姆 这是我的医生 这是我儿子
Tom, this is my doctor, and this is my son.
我叫特拉维斯·本杰明 你母亲的医生
I’m Travis Benjamin, I’m your mother’s neurologist.
这是我儿子汤姆
This is my son Tom.
你感觉怎么样 爱丽丝
So, how are you feeling, Alice?
有点紧张
Kinda nervous.
你肯定没问题 加油 见到你很高兴
You’re gonna do great. Break a leg. Nice meeting you.
我也一样
Yeah.
我们十分荣幸地请来了 爱丽丝·霍兰德为我们发表演讲
It is a great honor, to welcome our next speaker, Alice Howland,
她曾经是哥伦比亚大学的语言学教授
a former professor of linguistics at Columbia.
她编纂过教科书在世界各地办过讲座
She’s written textbooks and lectured all over the world.
爱丽丝患有早期阿兹海默症
Alice is living with early on-set Alzheimer’s with the care
在她家人的照顾和支持下生活
and support of her loving family.
请大家欢迎 爱丽丝·霍兰德
Please welcome, Alice Howland.
请稍等我一下
Please give me just a minute.
早上好 能来到这里是我的荣幸
Good morning, it’s an honor to be here.
诗人伊丽莎白·毕晓普曾写道
The poet Elizabeth Bishop once wrote:
失去的艺术并不难掌握
“The art of losing isn’t hard to master,
很多事情看上去都终究会失去
so many things seems filled with the intent to be lost,
这种失去并不意味着灾难
and their lost is no disaster.”
我不是个诗人 我只是一个患有早期阿兹海默症的普通人
I am not a poet, I’m a person living with early on-set Alzheimer’s.
正因为如此我发现我每一天都在学习失去的艺术
And as that person, I find myself learning the art of losing every day.
失去了我的理智和方向 失去了物件 失去了睡眠
Losing my bearings, losing objects, losing sleep,
最重要的是失去了记忆
but mostly, losing memories.
我会试着忘记刚刚发生了什么的
I think I’ll try to forget that just happened.
我一生都在积累各种各样的记忆
All my life, I have accumulated memories,
某种意义上成为了我最珍贵的财产
they have become in a way my most precious possessions.
我遇见我丈夫的那一天
The night I met my husband,
我第一次拿着我写的教科书的时候
the first time I held my textbook in my hands,
有了孩子 交了朋友 环游世界
having children, making friends, travelling the world,
都是我生活中的积累 都是我工作如此努力的原因
everything I’ve accumulated in life, everything I’ve worked so hard for,
现在这一切都被剥夺了
now all that is being ripped away.
你们可以想像或者你们也经历过
As you can imagine, or as you know,
这简直是地狱
this is hell,
但情况还在变糟
but it gets worse.
我们早已不是原来的自己 谁还能认真地对待我们呢
Who can take us seriously when we are so far from who we once were?
我们怪异的举止和笨拙的话语改变了他人对我们的看法
Our strange behavior and fumbled sentences change other`s perception of us,
也改变了我们对自己的看法
and our perception of ourselves.
我们变得可笑 失去能力又滑稽
We become ridiculous, incapable, comic,
都不是我们该有的样子
but this is not who we are,
只是我们的疾病让我们变成了这样
this is our disease.
和其它疾病一样
And like any disease,
某种原因导致患了这种病 同样会有一剂良方将其治愈
it has a cause, it has a progression, and it could have a cure.
我最大的愿望是
My greatest wish is
我的孩子 我们的孩子 我们的下一代
that my children, our children, the next generation
不用面对我们正在面对的一切
do not have to face what I am facing.
但至少到目前为止我还活着
But for the time being, I’m still alive.
我知道我还活着
I know I’m alive.
我有深爱的人
I have people I loved dearly,
有我想完成的事情
I have things I wanna do with my life.
我责怪自己不能记清事情
I rail against myself for not being able to remember things,
但每一天我都经历着纯粹的幸福和愉悦
but I still have moments in the day of pure happiness and joy.
请不要认为我在经受痛苦
And please, do not think I am suffering,
我并不痛苦 我在努力挣扎
I am not suffering, I am struggling.
挣扎着融入 挣扎着继续 和过去的我保持联♥系♥
Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to who I once was.
我告诉自己 活在当下
So living the moment, I tell myself.
这真的是我现在唯一能做到的
It’s really all I can do,
活在当下 不要被击垮
live the moment, and not beat myself up too much…
不要为了去掌握失去的艺术而把自己击垮
and not beat myself up too much for mastering the art of losing.
尽管如此 我会试着记住今天在这里讲话
One thing I’ll try to hold onto though, is the memory of speaking here today.
这段记忆会消失 我知道它会消失 也许明天就会消失
It will go, I know it will. It may be gone by tomorrow,
但今天在这里讲话对我意义重大
but it means so much to be talking here today,
因为以前那个雄心勃勃的我总是被交流的魅力所折服
like my old ambitious self who was so fascinated by communication.
感谢大家给我提供这次机会
Thank you for this opportunity,
这对我来说意义重大 谢谢大家
it means the world to me. Thank you.
梅奥医学中心让我明天春天去上班
It’s the Mayo Clinic, start up next spring,
我会有自己的团队
and I’ll be heading up my own team.
所以你想让我们搬去…
So you want us to move to…
在明尼苏达州的罗彻斯特
It’s in Rochester, Minnesota.
这对我们来说可能是一场全新 你可能会喜欢上那儿的
It could be a whole new adventure for us, you might even be liking there.
一切我了解的东西都在这里
Everything I know is here,
安娜和汤姆 还有即将出生的孩子
Anna and Tom and the babies.