女间谍

One mistake, and we got a nuclear bomb in the hands of terrorists.
-你明白了吗 -是的
-Do you understand? -Yes.
去找帕特里克 他会给你特殊装备
Go see Patrick. He’s got special equipment for you.
哦天啊
Oh my god.
你这是在干嘛
What are you doing?
哦 你想好你的间谍名字了吗
Oh, did you come up with your spy name yet?
我会叫安博 瓦伦丁
My would be Amber Valentine.
听起来就像是个AV女♥优♥
That sounds like you’re an adult film star
不 我用的是”取名公式”
No, I did this “Find name formula”.
安博是我第一只宠物的名字
Amber was the name of my first pet
瓦伦丁是我小时候住的那条街
and I grew up on Valentine Street
那你为你的色情电影想好名字了吗
Did you come up with your porn name?
哦 不 安博只是个间谍名字
Oh, no. Amber is a spy name.
你的叫啥
What was yours be?
呃 米博·马丁·路德·金·朱尼尔·布瓦德
Uh, Meatball Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard.
-没错 -哇哦
-Yeah. -Wow.
我的天啊
Oh my god.
我太激动了
I’m so excited.
你现在是间谍了
You’re a spy.
我知道 我知道 我猜你会说…
I know! I know! I guess you can say…
哦 我多想要一个 你很快能得到它们了
Oh, I got to get one of those! You can going to get one of those.
我不知道 我不知道
No, I’m not. No, I’m not.
看看这个
Look at that!
看着好高科技啊
That looks high tech.
就像来到了未来
It’s like the future.
-帕特里克 -苏珊
-Patrick. -Susan.
-嘿 帕特里克 -是的
-Hey, Patrick. -Yes.
我收到伊莱恩的特别交代
I was given specific instructions by Elaine
将这些特制的设备交给你
to tailor these gadgets to you.
-哇哦 看看他们 -他们都不是你的
-Wow. Look at them. -These are not yours.
这不是口哨吗
Is that a whistle?
伊莱恩希望你只携带这些
Elaine wanted you to only be carrying items
单身女性到欧洲旅行才会带的东西
of single woman traveling through Europe would have.
但她可以随便找家药店去买♥♥啊
But she can get that from any pharmacy
那可不是这种口哨
Not this whistle.
当你吹这个口哨的时候
When you blow through this whistle.
就会飞出一个小毒镖
A small poisonous dart flies out,
击中你的目标
neutralizing your target.
此外 只有你的指纹才能启动它
Also, it needs your finger prints on it to work.
好的 这…这真的非常棒
Okay, that is…that is really neat.
-它太令人惊讶了 -这真的超级酷
-It’s amazing. -That is really super cool.
这种抗菌喷雾剂可以冻结并且搞瘫任何安全系统
This anti-fungi spray can freeze and disable any security system.
哇哦 带着这种东西环游欧洲真是相当形象
Wow. That is quite an image to be carrying all over Europe.
它同时还是一个防狼喷雾
It’s also a pepper spray.
那为啥 不直接做成防狼喷雾
Why not, just make it look like pepper spray.
这个…
It’s a…
非常好的主意 好吧 那就 下次吧
It’s a pretty good idea. Alright. Well, next time.
那个 我能 我能等
Well, I can-I can wait
如果你们要打印新包装的话
If you wanna print up a new label.
不了 我还得再开一次打印机
No, I’ll have to turn the printer on again.
我真的懒得那么做了
I don’t really want to.
每一片都浸过三氯甲烷
Each of these are filled with chloroform.
哦 这真是 呃…满满一大包的包痔疮湿巾
Oh, that is and un…settling amount of hemorrhoid wipes
不禁让我好奇
Makes me kind of wonder
用了以后那后面会怎么样
what exactly is going on back there?
我不知道 我没有这方面的问题
I wouldn’t know. I don’t have that problem.
我就有这方面的问题吗
I don’t have that problem.
如果你觉得自己中毒了
If you ever feel like you’ve been poisoned.
嚼一片就好
Chew one of these.
是不是我做了啥事让你不高兴了还是…
Have I done something to you, to upset you or…
都是些奇葩的主题
This is peculiar theme.
最后
Finally.
每个特工都有一块内置夜视仪的手表
Every agent gets a night vision scope hidden in their watch.
好的 我有研究过这东西 我甚至看过…
Okay. I’ve read about this, I’ve even looked it…
-哦 -这是谁
-Oh. -Who’s that?
这是贝特 迈德尔和芭芭拉 赫希
That is Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey.
《海滩》里的演员
From Beaches.
猜一下我有多喜欢这《海滩》
How much am I suppose to like Beaches?
如果你有这块手表 我猜会有很多
I would imagine a lot if you have the watch.
-嘿帕特 我在飞 -安东尼
-Hey Pat, I’m flying! -Anthony.
不要把那个电池用完了
Don’t wear out the battery on that.
我 我能得到那玩意儿吗
Am I, Am I getting that?
不 你不会得到那个的 好了
No. You are not going to get that, alright.
我已经把你的东西都装好了
I’ve already packed your bags.
快换好衣服
Hurry up and get dressed.
卡罗尔·詹金得马上到机场了
Carol Jenkins has to get to the airport immediately
我还想说句话
And may I say
我觉得你为了而国家献出自己的生命真的很勇敢
I think it’s very brave of you to sacrifice your life for your country.
哦不是牺牲…我 我会回来的
Oh, not sacri…I’m, I’m coming back.
拭目以待
Let’s see.
嗨 帕特 我要用这家伙把所有灰尘都吹走
Hey, Pat! I’m gonna totally crop dust these guys.
可以啊 安东尼
Way to go, Anthony.
哦 原谅我
Oh, just pardon me.
哦 天哪 我好像把屎蹦出来了
Oh, God. I think I shit my pants.
你看起来很棒啊
You look amazing.
我看起来就像某个同性恋大妈
I look like someone’s homophobic aunt.
哇哦 请到莫里哀酒店
Wow. Hotel Modiere please.
这简直太激动了
This is so exciting.
卢浮宫
The Louvre.
哦 好美的酒店 不是这个吗
Oh, that’s a beautiful hotel. Not that one?
哦我希望它就是 是那个吗
Oh. I hope it’s that. Is it that one?
不是 哦 也许下一次是
No? Oh, Maybe next time.
我们进入了一个…有点危险的区域
We’re getting into a…a little dicier of an area.
哦 两个小杂种
Oh. It’s a little unsavory.
我认为我们应该要掉头往回开…
I think we can probably go back towards…
到我的酒店
my hotel.
不不 不不 我希望的是 是…
No no. No no. I hope it’s, it’s…
我不相信这个就是莫里哀酒店
I don’t believe this could be the Hotel Modiere.
你不觉得…
Don’t you think…
莫里哀
哦 是这 就是它
Oh, this is. yes it is.
哦大哥
Oh man.
保持镇定 苏珊 好吗
Keep it together, Susan okay?
南希 请回答我你能听到我
Nancy? Please tell me you can hear me.
我在这里 我在这里 我听到你了
I’m here, I’m here. I got you.
那就好
Okay.
有件事你听到会很高兴
You’ll be pleased to hear
那些蝙蝠终于走了
that the bats are officially gone.
我们现在解脱了
We have now vermin free
你找到你的枪了吗 卡罗尔
Did you get your gun, Carol?
是的 还有别这么叫我了
Yes. And don’t call me that.
哦天哪 我吓尿了 我感觉
Oh, my God. I cried. Peed, I think.
心脏病都要发作了
Having a heart attack.
我做不了这些事 南希
I can’t do this, Nancy.
法恩才是真正的间谍 不是我
Fine was the real spy, not me.
别担心 我与你同在 好吗
Don’t worry. I’m here for you, okay?
一切都会好起来
Everything is going to be fine.
我会告诉你怎么做的 好了
I’m gonna talk you through this, alright.
戴上你的隐形相机 我想看看你的房♥间
Put your camera in. I want to see your room.
不 你还是别看了 这儿很烂
No, you don’t. It’s a bad.
凭着百折不挠的精神最终跻身全美第二女富婆
玛莎·斯图尔特来了也会感到崩溃
Martha Stewart had a breakdown kind of feel.
哦 哇哦
Ooh. Wow.
看来他们把你安排到一家”狗屎卡尔顿”去了
Looks like they put you up in a Shits Carlton.
嘿听着 好好睡一觉 好吗
Hey listen. Try and get some sleep, okay?
然后明天早上我们开始第一个任务
And we’ll get started first thing in the morning.
我不知道我见到瑞娜这贱逼的时候我会干出啥事来
I don’t know what I’m going to do when I see that Rayna woman.
我要她死 就像她杀法恩那样
I want her dead for what she did to Fine.
好了 深呼吸 听我说
Okay, deep breaths. Listen to me.
你没机会靠近她身边任何地方
You’re not going to get anywhere near her,
所以没什么好担心的
so there’s nothing to worry about.
哦上帝 不是吧