剧透预警 Spoiler Alert（2022）

Plus, I have the… The aforementioned roommate, so…
我是很想带你回我那儿，但是他们…
I would love to go to my place, but they just…
我的公♥寓♥刚刚粉刷，我担心那些烟雾
They just painted my apartment, and I’m afraid the fumes
对健康有害
might not be safe to breathe in.
好。没事
Okay. Fine.
那就，去我那儿吧
Then, let’s go to my place.
好的，就这么决定吧
Okay, let’s do that.
我……我真希望我的室友不在这里
I… I’m hoping my roommate isn’t here.
她比较寡言少语
She’s very monosyllabic.
懂
Okay.
基特？
Kit?
嘿，珂碧
Hey, Kirby.
嘿
Hey.
-呃，这位是迈克 -嗨，珂碧
-Uh, this is Mike. -Hi, Kirby.
迈克
Mike.
-呃，我们刚要… -你希望我…
-Um, we were just gonna… -You want me to…
-好。好 -没事。没事
-Yeah. Yeah. -Okay. Okay.
这就是我的房♥间了
This is my boudoir.
哇哦
Wow.
这…挺酷的
This is, this is really cool.
谢了
Thanks.
所以，她话还挺少
So, she’s really monosyllabic.
对，我还没见过她离开公♥寓♥的
Oh, yeah. I’ve never seen her leave the apartment.
我对天发誓她真的只吃贝果和吐司
I swear to God she only eats bagels, toasted.
我得对她好一点，毕竟，她付的房♥租比我多。
I have to be nice to her, though. She pays more rent than me.
呼点叶子吗？
You want some weed?
噢，不，不用了。谢谢。
Oh no, I’m okay. Thank you.
行吧
Okay.
正在播放Goldfrapp的《Number 1》
Walk out into velvet
Nothing more to say
You’re my favorite moment…
所以，来咯
So, here we are.
好，来吧
So, yes. We’re here.
‘Cause you’re my number one
I’m like a dog to get you
I want it up and on
I’m like a dog to get you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Sunset only seconds
Just ripe, then it’s gone
Got no new intentions
Just right, then it’s gone
‘Cause you’re my number one
I’m like a dog to get you
I want it up and on…
好了，等等等等
Okay, wait. wait, wait, wait.
我…是不是…
Did I… Did I do something or…
不，不是…不是你的问题…
No, no you didn’t… No, you…
我只是…需要…
I just… I need to…
我想尿尿。洗手间在哪儿？
I need to pee. Where’s the bathroom?
嗨
Hi.
嗨，妈妈。我回来了
Hi, Mom. I’m home.
嗨，亲爱的
Hi, honey.
今天在学校怎么样？
How was school today?
不太愉快
Kind of a drag.
有个孩子叫我“没爹的迈克
One of the other kids called me Dead Dad Mike,
胖胖的死钙”
the Fat Fudge Packer,
就在历史课和地理课上
in front of my US history and geography class,
他们都嘲笑我
and they all laughed at me.
亲爱的，过来
Honey, come here.
我平时怎么教你的？
What have I always told you?
心里美最重要
It’s what’s on the inside that counts.
将来有一天你会成为世界一流的电视新闻工作者
Someday you’re gonna grow up to be the best TV journalist in the world.
-妈妈 -我好爱你
-Mom. -I love you so much.
做自己
Enjoy yourself.
Cause you’re my number one
I’m like a dog to get you
I want it up and on
I’m like a dog to get you…
卡住了
You’re zipped up.
抱歉。我来吧
I’m sorry. I’ll get that.
抬一下
Just… jump.
这样。我的天
Here. Oh, God.
-把你屁♥股♥抬起来 -我在试啦
-Just lift your butt up. -I’m trying.
加油
Just, come on.
拜托。让我来吧。让我来。让我来。
Please. Let me do it. Let me do it. Let me do it.
-好吧 -我知道，逊毙了
-Okay. -I know, it sucks.
I want it up and on
I’m like a dog to get you…
抱歉。对不起。真的对不起。对不起。
Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry.
-你有美♥腿♥哦 -噢，谢谢，我有在慢跑。
-You have nice legs. -Oh, thank you. I jog.
是吧，看得出
Yeah, it shows.
谢了
Thank you.
Howl under the moon
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Howl…
-不不不，等等。 -好的。好的
-No, no. No. Wait. -Okay. Okay.
我是不是……做错了什么？我不…
Am I… Am I doing something wrong? I don’t…
没有，只是…
No, it’s just…
你超有自信的
You are so confident.
我是指，你刚才脱衣服
I mean, you just ripped off your clothes
熟练得像是单身派对上的脱衣舞男
like you’re a stripper at a bachelorette party,
然后你看起来…
and you look…
-你看起来特别帅气 -别
-you look incredible. -No.
而我…就是个FFK
（指前文提到的Fat Fudge Packer胖胖的死钙）
And I’m… I’m an FFK.
你不知道这是什么意思。对吗？
You don’t know what that is, do you?
-不。不懂 -我曾经是个胖小孩
-No. No. -I’m a former fat kid.
所以我有点身材焦虑
So I have some body issues.
-嗯哼 -特别是像现在这种时候…
-Mmm-hmm. -Especially around this…
就连洗澡我基本上都是穿着衣服的，所以我…
Like, I basically shower with clothes on, so I…
-什么？ -我的天！这真是太难堪了
-What? -Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing.
-我该走了 -别
-I should leave. -No.
我是不是该走？我还是走吧
Should I just leave? I should leave.
你可能应该…你大概应该走吧
Yeah, you should probably… you should probably go.
是吧
Yeah.
没关系。我们不必把事办了。我们可以…
It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything. We can…
我们可以聊天。纯聊。
We can just talk. We can just talk.
-或者我可以挠你痒痒 -停！住手啦
-Or I can tickle you. -Stop! Don’t do that.
-我们聊天就好。嗯 -就聊天？
-We can just talk. Yeah. -We can talk?
-你确定？ -嗯。不需要有压力
-Are you sure? -Yeah. No pressure.
纯聊天
We can just talk.
我们可以这么躺着…然后聊天
We could just lay here and… talk.
-可以聊聊？ -对
-We can talk? -Yeah.
-行吧 -毫无压力
-Okay. -No pressure.
好吧
Okay.
我们该聊点什么？
What should we talk about?
噢，问得好
Oh, that’s a good question.
嗯…
Um…
什么时候意识到你是同志？
When, when did you know you were gay?
-噢 -嗯哼
-Oh. -Mmm-hmm.
-重大问题 -天啊
-Big question. -God…
五年级
Fifth grade.
我和我妈在看《我们的日子》
（美国NBC电视台的一部日间肥皂剧）
I was watching Days of Our Lives with my mother.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
我对一个没穿上衣的男人犯花痴被我妈全看在眼里了
And she caught me literally drooling over a shirtless Bo Brady.
噢！
Oh!
还是挺尴尬的
And it is awkward to realize you’re gay
你意识到自己是同志的同时
at the same moment your mother is realizing
-妈妈也意识到了这个事情 -你当时大概12岁？
-that you’re realizing you’re gay. -You were like 12?
11岁,12岁…不重要了…反正她知道了
Eleven, twelve… I don’t give a… Yeah, she knew.
噢，我的天！我父母还不知道
Oh, my God. My parents still don’t know.
-我之前还交过女朋友 -什么？
-I mean, I had girlfriends… -What?
一直到大学毕业
right up until after college.
-他们还不知道 -不会吧
-They have no idea. -No.
为什么你没告诉他们？
Why haven’t you told them?
呃，嗯…
Uh, um…
因为，我花了很长时间才认同自我，并且…
Because it took a long time for me to accept it myself, and…
我觉得他们会很难接受
I think it will be tough for them.
我还没有准备好告诉他们。我…
And I don’t think I’m ready to tell them. I…
不知道怎么说了
I don’t know.
正在播放Ivy的《EDGE OF THE OCEAN》
我有一个梦想的地方